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View Full Version : Father Storms Bus, Confronts Disabled Daughter's Bullies


strawberry
09-17-2010, 11:59 AM
SEMINOLE COUNTY, Fla. -- A father trying to protect his disabled daughter from her alleged bullies was arrested after he boarded a school bus and threatened students during a profanity-laced tirade.

http://www.wftv.com/news/25047891/detail.html

oh_gal
09-17-2010, 12:04 PM
Poor guy. Probably not the best way to go about it, but as a parent, my heart aches for him (and his daughter/family). Which parents among us want to see our kids hurt?

strawberry
09-17-2010, 12:45 PM
Poor guy. Probably not the best way to go about it, but as a parent, my heart aches for him (and his daughter/family). Which parents among us want to see our kids hurt?

I feel for him too...and for his daughter who is apparently on a suicide watch. 13 is such a hard age. My daughter is almost 14 and middle school these days is brutal. She was bullied by kids in the neighborhood when she was in 5th grade and I went off on them. I'm glad noone had a camera, although all I said was if you don't want to play with her then leave her alone...but I can totally feel for this guy.

tlcya
09-17-2010, 12:59 PM
As a parent, I can totally relate. I feel badly that he felt driven to this confrontation. This should have been handled by the appropriate personnel before it reached this point of frustration for the father.

There but for the grace of God walk I.

mysticrose
09-17-2010, 01:00 PM
I am so worried about this same thing with my son whom is autistic and will start middle school next year. I would prob. do the same thing as this father if such circumstances were the same and no one addressed the problem, with the exceptions of the threats, I would never threaten harm.

I hope his daughter gets the help she needs emotionally, middle school is brutal. Nobody ever seems to want to address the issue of bullying even when it is right in your face !

This family has my prayers ....

Wise Old Owl
09-17-2010, 01:56 PM
We have to get back to "neighborhood schools" where the huge majority of parents, teachers, staff and administrators know each other and work toward the common goal of educating our children.

This man tried to go through the "proper channels" and not one thing was done. Basically he got lip service. Now his daughter is on suicide watch.

I would like to think if this would have been a "neighborhood school" or even just a small suburban, rural district - it would have never gotten this far.

People don't seem to care anymore.

~greeneyedgirl~
09-17-2010, 02:48 PM
I had an issue with my dd at her school a few years back with one girl who was a huge bully, I informed the school on the first time I called them that they had 1 day to take care of it or I would.

This girl was horrific and they were in grade 3, the principal of the school informed me at the end of the year that they had to get a social worker to come in to correct all the damage this one little girl had done, she had never seen anything like this in all her 20 years of being an educator with girls as young as this.

Girls are horrible......I really wish that we as parents all strive to encourage our girls to be supportive and encouraging of each other, a sisterhood, we aren't competition and unfortunately kids today feel that way. I really am a firm believer that things start at home not all bullies as there are a few that will just go with the group.

It really is such a shame that this poor man had to bring himself to this.

lonetraveler
09-17-2010, 03:24 PM
I'm going to have to be careful how I post this, I don't want anyone to think I'm a criminal thug here. I support this father for trying to protect his daughter 100%. I feel that he did do something wrong however. I feel that he should have taken the three boys, who were abusing his daughter, by the nap of their necks and taken them off the bus so that he could scare the living hell out of them and make them look him in the eyes so that they know that he is dead serious. I was really pizzzzzed at one of the boy's mother who was so angry that he threatened her son. She was not concerned or apologetic for her brat son's abuse of the little girl. She was mad that someone actually tried to do her sorry job for her. I also think that the bus driver should be held to task for allowing the little girl to be abused on that bus. The school should be held fully accountable for not taking these punks off of the bus and forbid them to ride the bus. Why weren't the punks arrested for the abuse and assaults?

tlcya
09-17-2010, 03:33 PM
We have to get back to "neighborhood schools" where the huge majority of parents, teachers, staff and administrators know each other and work toward the common goal of educating our children.
This man tried to go through the "proper channels" and not one thing was done. Basically he got lip service. Now his daughter is on suicide watch.

I would like to think if this would have been a "neighborhood school" or even just a small suburban, rural district - it would have never gotten this far.

People don't seem to care anymore.


ITA but that is easier said than done. I have a huge amount of respect for those in the education field and am a parent trying to raise well-adjusted, compassionate, smart good citizens.

If only we could go back, to the days where your parents, teachers and administrators all felt as if they were on the same team.

Too many good parents who want to be involved feel slighted or not taken seriously and at the same time too many uninvolved, parents go storming over to the school looking for confrontation in a combative manner with administrators who've attempted to discipline their child.

You could not pay me enough to be in education. To have to deal with apathetic parents who expect you (school) to raise up their children and yet want to storm over to the school whenever you try to meet out the discipline they really are lacking at home.

To try to give a good education to those children who really want it and whose parents are invested in the same goal despite the distractions and bullying etc caused by the apathetic ones.

I really hope the school and administration is paying attention to this kid's plight now. Too bad it took an irate father to accomplish it. It is a sad state of affairs.

LadyL
09-17-2010, 03:59 PM
I feel for him. He's frustrated and worried about his daughter. I could easily see myself snapping in the same situation. Thing is though, he's got to model better behaviour if he wants his (& other) children to do the same. I know that's the ideal though and none of us are perfect. I do hope the situation gets resolved and that the bullies, their parents, and the school administration all participate in a stop-bullying programme and in helping this little girl in the future.

LinasK
09-17-2010, 04:12 PM
:hand: It's not just today that things have gotten worse. It's not just middle school when it starts, and it's not just girls!!!
I was bullied for 3 years straight- all of 4th, 5th, and 6th grade and this was many years ago. It started with one boy, then 3 boys, pretty soon it spread to the girls, then noone wanted to be seen with me or befriend me for fear they would be picked on. I was shoved into a fight with another girl, and they encircled me so I couldn't escape hoping to see me pummeled. My life was a living hell for 3 years. My self-esteem never totally recovered.
Although this father has taken it too far by his threatening behavior, I sure wish my mother (or father) had stuck up for me. My mother talking to my 4th grade teacher about it accomplished nothing. Most of the bullying took place outside of the classroom on the playground at lunchtime or recess, so no teachers or principal were aware of it!

mysterygirl
09-17-2010, 06:18 PM
Oh Lina, I hate hearing that.

That pack mentality can be brutal. What has surprised me is that even the "cool" kids will tell stories of various forms of being bullied.

When I was in junior high I happened to be in the gym dressing room alone when the meanest girl in seventh grade came in with a couple of friends. She told me to hurry up and I smarted off to her, not knowing who I was talking to or giving it a second thought. She and her friends followed me out, three against one--confronted me and before I knew it hauled off and slapped me across the face. I was stunned! Had nobody to even turn to, no teachers around and my reflex was to raise my hand and try and open up a can of whoopass on her (although she would have totally taken me down). She said, go ahead little rich girl (little did she know that I was no where near rich) and I said no, you're not worth it. I turned around and faked confidence, walking off with tears in my eyes. Horrible feeling. One hour later, we both get called to the principal's office, evidently someone saw or told. He asked me if she hit me and I, for some reason said..........no, we're fine. He said Ok........

We walked out and she said man, I had no idea you were so cool if anyone ever messes with you they'll have to go through me. So we went from being enemies to "friends" in one hour but it could have gone so differently. I remember what that felt like, it was horrible!

~greeneyedgirl~
09-17-2010, 06:20 PM
LinasK... I am so sorry for what you went through as a child, I too was bullied for all of school up to 9th grade. I still believe it affects me to this day.

Here it is a criminal offence to bully someone either in person or via internet, there was a young boy quite a few years back now who was bullied by a group of kids (sorry I cant remember his name) in grade school and they hung him in the bathroom stall behind the door on the hook. He couldn't get down and was hung to death. This put a change in our laws very quickly.


Edit:
Here is an excerpt about his story

February 1998
Myles Neuts. Age 10. Hung by the throat from a coat hook in school at Chatham, Ontario. Died four days later. Hung by two older boys waiting in a bathroom for him. While he slowly strangled on the hook, the boys brought their pals to see "the dummy", but one finally told a teacher. Not in time to save his life.

STEADFAST
09-17-2010, 07:18 PM
There's a "We Support James Jones" fb page now.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/We-Support-James-Jones/155474847813260?v=wall

I support him fully. Those boys should have been given a harsh talking to long before now, and they need to face consequences for their actions towards Jones' daughter. Their clueless parents need a harsh talking to also.

trigger
09-17-2010, 07:22 PM
Poor father I feel for him. When my cousin was bullied by bullies these bullies were not allowed on the bus for 3 months. When the 3 months were up they were changed to another bus on another bus stop all together.

Where is the school in all this?????

charok
09-17-2010, 10:34 PM
thats just wrong..
i dont blame mr jones, not one bit..i hope they understand and go easy on him..( just had what minor parking stuff??) tormenting that poor girl, unable to probably defend herself too...

Wise Old Owl
09-17-2010, 10:46 PM
I would like to find a report on how his daughter is doing. All they've said is that she is in the hospital and on suicide watch. That poor child.

I've heard on the 11 o'clock news that the school is saying they have no record(s) of him reporting anything. Yea right. Think they have already hit the CYA mode.

mysterygirl
09-17-2010, 11:50 PM
I think that the majority of people who hear about this will side with the father- who can blame him?

This is horrible. I know that bullies have always existed but the new ways people are doing it, via technology, is just another hurdle.

Teaming up on a disabled child just infuriates me even further. I hope that this family feels all of the support this has generated.

Misfitdolly
09-18-2010, 12:18 AM
He certainly made a mistake by threatening the kids but I don't blame him for sticking up for his daughter and I wish more parents would. Seems the schools these days don't do enough in these situations. I was bullied in elementary school and nobody would stick up for me except my older cousin. Once he saw a kid harassing me and he jacked him up the wall by his shirt and told him if he so much as looked at me again he was gonna kick his @$$. My mother would never get involved. She thought it was best to let the kids work it out. Oh, one of my sons is named after this cousin.

My 12 year old daughter was bullied by a girl and a boy on the bus last year. The girl is well known for being a bully. She came home one day crying and having an asthma attack due to their teasing. The next day I went down to the bus stop and when they got off the bus I had a recorder with me in case they went home and told their parents I said things I did not. I told them very calmly that what they did was harassment and it's against the law and if it happened again I was calling the cops. Never happened again.

YellowDog
09-18-2010, 05:03 PM
They supposedly had two adults on that bus but neither once spoke English. Had do they direct the children in case of an accident if they don't speak English? The second adult on the bus should sit in the back and to end bus bullying, there is a rather simple approach I would suggest. Have the children receive a grade for bus behavior which counts along with their other grades. If they flunk "bus", their parents would have to get them to school some other way.

CarrieBean
09-18-2010, 07:09 PM
Those little chits are lucky the Dad didn't get physical with them. I have a boy with CP and can totally relate. It's been tempting to wring some necks over the years. If he had been hospitalized over it, I just may have.

I say give the Father a medal.

mistressammie
09-19-2010, 12:03 AM
It is so heartbreaking for a child to be bullied. When I was in 9th grade, one of the bully girls suddenly decided she hated me. She told me to shut up one day when I was saying something and I told her I'd say whatever I wanted. She came to my desk and started to say something and I said, "Look...if you want to go outside, we'll go right now. Otherwise, you can go back to your seat and leave me alone."

Not too long after that, she decided we were friends. *Shakes head.* Children can be so cruel. As a mother of two young children, I can totally identify with this dad. I teach my children to take up for themselves, but in the case of this father's child, she couldn't really take up for herself. Bless his heart for trying to protect his daughter.

annalia
09-19-2010, 12:12 PM
I'm going to have to be careful how I post this, I don't want anyone to think I'm a criminal thug here. I support this father for trying to protect his daughter 100%. I feel that he did do something wrong however. I feel that he should have taken the three boys, who were abusing his daughter, by the nap of their necks and taken them off the bus so that he could scare the living hell out of them and make them look him in the eyes so that they know that he is dead serious. I was really pizzzzzed at one of the boy's mother who was so angry that he threatened her son. She was not concerned or apologetic for her brat son's abuse of the little girl. She was mad that someone actually tried to do her sorry job for her. I also think that the bus driver should be held to task for allowing the little girl to be abused on that bus. The school should be held fully accountable for not taking these punks off of the bus and forbid them to ride the bus. Why weren't the punks arrested for the abuse and assaults?

My bolding

And that's precisely the reason we have so many bullies. So many parents want to say not my kid or the kid being bullied probably deserved it.

reportertype
09-19-2010, 07:33 PM
I went to a small, rural school and the bullying there was just as bad as anyplace else. I was bullied and my complaints about it were laughed off by admins. At least in a bigger district, I might have had a chance to switch schools to see if it was better. My case was so bad I begged my parents to move. We had teachers who bullied students too.

feddup
09-19-2010, 09:58 PM
My niece just started middleschool. She told me the first day did not go good. Some girl called her fat and she said something back. She said then the girl wanted to fight! I cant believe how cruel kids are.
My niece still has some baby fat and she is gorgeous I mean, REALLY pretty.
My son is out o school now for over 10 yrs, so glad. Middle school wasnt pleasant. No, they dont stop the bullying. And in my case, when I said something one ofthe counselors said: you see your son as a victim!
I dont blame that man for going on the bus and yelling. I hope his daughter will be OK.
They really dont do these kids any good by letting them get away with picking on other kids. I know in my day, we wouldve had a good talking to but then we had more fear of adults/authorities than kids do today.

ThoughtFox
09-20-2010, 05:39 AM
The middle-school schoolbus was a nightmare when I was a kid also.

And my own children had a few run-ins with bullies that left them afraid to go to school.

This father was out of line because he handled it when he was furious and it came across as threatening to other people's children. You just can't do that - or lay hands on anyone's children. Never. Never. Never.

But what I did when my children got bullied was that for a few days I would show up at the bus stop and confront the kids - in a calm way - and just tell them that if it happened again, not only was I going to call the school and their parents - I might even call the Sherriff.

Stopped it every time! :dance:

Kat
09-20-2010, 02:00 PM
Snipped from the OP article.

Police said Jones not only threatened the lives of students on the bus, he also gave physical threats to the driver. Alexander said Jones felt helpless after a month of bullying suffered by his disabled daughter.

I do understand his frustration and sense of helplessness if he had indeed reported the incidences of bullying to the school officials.

I don't doubt at this time that he did, even if school says they didn't get one. They could be CYAing.

I do have issues with how he chose to address this situation. Even if it was out of frustration.

Every single child on that school bus was more than likely terrorized by the experience of having a full grown man enter a school bus and start a profanity laced tirade.

Not every child on that bus might have been an abuser of his daughter.

He also threatened physical action against the driver, not just the kids.

Excuse me? I have the deepest sympathy for this man and his daughter but it is never okay in my book to threaten a child and/or an adult with physical harm.

BTW, If it had been one of my children that was doing the abusing, they wouldn't have to worry about this man kicking their butts, I would make them wish that they had had their butt kicked instead of the discipline I would deliver. (I don't spank, but that's how I raise my kids).

But if a man got up on a bus and my children were on that bus and they had nothing to do with the situation and he was ranting profanities, and threatening to harm children on that bus and/or the driver? Although I'm not a litigious person, yes I would bring charges against anyone that subjected my child to their tirade.

I can't condone his actions. I can sympathize with his frustration but I think this could have been handled in a much better way. JMHO.

Thank god he didn't put his hands on any of those kids. He would be facing assault charges for sure.

I wonder if they have any training at that school for bullying? My kids got taught about that in almost every school they have attended.

All just my humble opinion.

ohiogirl
09-20-2010, 02:24 PM
Damn, this just doesn't seem to be getting any better. The schools really need to wake up and STRESS to their employees, that they need to be on the look out for this sort of behavior.
I understand this dad's frustration, but I think he didn't handle it very well.
I would have to camp out in the principal's office until the offenders were suspended from the bus.
I know it is the parents' responsibility to raise responsible children, but when it is happening on school property, the school must step in.
With all of the "zero tolerance" policies these days, I can't believe that this issue is not being jumped on immediately.

burbqueen
09-20-2010, 04:31 PM
i cant totally see my husband doing this. Totally. he is a hot head and loves his son more than anything. It would hurt him to the core if our Son was hurting. I am the calm one, but Dh nope. I would have to really try to talk some sense into him.

lonetraveler
09-20-2010, 05:01 PM
Ok, the father has acknowledged that he did not handle the situation correctly and has publicly said that he was sorry for his actions. You have to remember by news reports that this happened in early September and after this happened that the bullying continued. Why? I would imagine that the children riding on that bus experienced a lot of stress daily from watching and most probably experiencing the receiving end of these bullies actions. If the bullying continued, why wasn't the bus driver involved in putting these juvenile delinquents off the bus? In my county when a student is fighting or bullying or committing any other prohibited acts, that student is not allowed to ride the bus to or from the school. Their parents has to figure out how to get them to school and back. This school has shown no accountability or recognized any responsibility toward protecting the students threatened by these thugs. Something is very wrong with this picture! Maybe a parent or other adult should ride the bus, sit at the back of the bus so that they can see everything that is going on and stop the bullying before someone has to suffer from it. Again, why were these thugs allowed to continue to ride this bus? or any bus for that matter? Those are the questions that need to be answered, now.

lonetraveler
09-20-2010, 05:09 PM
They supposedly had two adults on that bus but neither once spoke English. Had do they direct the children in case of an accident if they don't speak English? The second adult on the bus should sit in the back and to end bus bullying, there is a rather simple approach I would suggest. Have the children receive a grade for bus behavior which counts along with their other grades. If they flunk "bus", their parents would have to get them to school some other way.

:furious: This is freaken unbelievable that three adults were on that bus and just allowed three punks to terrorize a helpless little girl!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely unacceptable. These punks continued to bully this little girl even after the incident where her father was involved. This school has a lot of explaining to do!!!!!!! Why the hell were the punks still on the bus?

lonetraveler
09-20-2010, 05:14 PM
I think it is truly amazing that there is a video of the father coming onto the bus and confronting the punks and the bus driver for the bullying of his daughter but the school has not produced the videos showing these punk's handiwork on the bus. I bet the school will say that their dog ate the videos.

tlcya
09-20-2010, 05:25 PM
I'm with you lone, I find the lack of any video put forth by the school, the district or the bus company save for that specific day and time when the dad went off very telling. Where is all the everyday footage? It would be rather convenient if the only time video was running was during dad's tirade.

So where's the rest of the footage in the weeks leading up to dad loosing it? Where's the footage of the little punks tossing unwrapped condoms into his daughter's hair?

Wise Old Owl
09-20-2010, 05:43 PM
I'm with you lone, I find the lack of any video put forth by the school, the district or the bus company save for that specific day and time when the dad went off very telling. Where is all the everyday footage? It would be rather convenient if the only time video was running was during dad's tirade.

So where's the rest of the footage in the weeks leading up to dad loosing it? Where's the footage of the little punks tossing unwrapped condoms into his daughter's hair?
When this first surfaced last week - it was either HLN or FOX national - but I did see video footage of the condom being put on her head and the whole bus erupts in laughter. Guess the district was right on top of that as I have NOT seen it again. But the footage is there - someone has it.

Lou Cyper
09-21-2010, 02:44 AM
People don't seem to care anymore.

I went to school in the 70s and it was worse. People have never cared.

These bullies think they have a right to torment someone who has already been dealt a crappy hand, they're pathetic scum but the system allows them to do it.

YellowDog
09-21-2010, 03:11 PM
:furious: This is freaken unbelievable that three adults were on that bus and just allowed three punks to terrorize a helpless little girl!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely unacceptable. These punks continued to bully this little girl even after the incident where her father was involved. This school has a lot of explaining to do!!!!!!! Why the hell were the punks still on the bus?

Well, I'm incensed that they hire non-English speaking people to transport these children. How can they really know what is going on if they can't even speak the language?

Wise Old Owl
09-21-2010, 04:02 PM
Well, I'm incensed that they hire non-English speaking people to transport these children. How can they really know what is going on if they can't even speak the language?
A huge majority of bus drivers here don't speak the language. I've seen this first hand - my DD had several bus drivers that couldn't communicate with the kids.

I called the district about this quite a few times and guess what? I was chastized, I was called a racist, I was dismissed as a "disgruntled parent". But again I ask, what happens if there is an emergency? How is this "bus driver" going to communicate with LE or the authority that shows up? It is dangerous.

Now FDLE is investigating the "transportation department" of the school district here - several nasty claims - neopitism. One guy was an employee of the district who was terminated for being "lazy" and stealing - but it seems his "family" was employed by the transportation dept so low and behold - he is now a bus driver. Yep. Welcome to urban mecca chaos.

I did hear that this district "reassigned" the driver. Oh that's real good. Give him a new bus with a new group of students - what do you think is going to go on?

And do we really have to wonder why public education in this country is the laughing stock of the rest of the world?

YellowDog
09-21-2010, 05:29 PM
Exactly. If a bus accident occurs, who would you rather have directing your child................someone they can't understand or an English speaking person? Is English no longer the language of our country?

Lovejac
09-22-2010, 10:36 PM
Good for you, James Jones.

I am so sorry your precious daughter has suffered at the hands of these monsters. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Wise Old Owl
09-23-2010, 11:01 AM
Interesting today that people are now asking why after Mr. Jones apologized why haven't the bullies been made to apologize?

I think that is a great question. And I also think that the "apology" from the bullies will never happen. They are now victims (poor kids).

I still haven't heard anything about his daughter. I hope she is improving and will be ok after this horrible ordeal. It seems she has gotten lost in all of this. She was the one being bullied in the first place and I would think the first in line for an apology. But what do I know?

txsvicki
09-23-2010, 10:18 PM
If the Dad tried to get something done and failed, then he did the right thing by getting on the bus. But, threatening kids wasn't the right thing to do. Chew them out good, yes. What he should do is go after the pocketbook and demand than the girl have her own private aide to ride with her daily and stay with her at school, plus start filing harassment lawsuits. Better yet, start working on the disabled having their own bus and aides to help them. Maybe he could have even won money to pay for private school. In my town, the disabled kids are transported on their own bus and have the helpers getting them on and off. The school doesn't have anything to do with the buses here, so maybe that is another problem for this family. The school "doesn't handle that". I don't believe in spanking, but if one of mine ever bullied the disabled, I'd bear the tar out of their rear ends.

charok
09-24-2010, 08:26 AM
i had seen in cnn news that he ( basically apologized, shouldnt have handled it that way,heat of the moment) ..even thought IMO he didnt do anything bad, good for him for accepting responsibility for his actions. lord knows if my disabled daughter was getting tormented and bullied and to make matters worse adults on the bus just let it happen? you bet id probably react similar.

MandyLeigh
09-29-2010, 09:40 PM
More bus bullying? What are these drivers doing when they go to work? Sticking headphones in their ears and trudging through their days? The bus driver had other adults on the bus to help, there is no excuse for allowing a disabled child (or any child) to be bullied. Disgusting.

My bus driver drove through the mountains with a horde of kids for hours before and after school as we lived in the boonies. She did it by herself and NO ONE gave her flack. We all knew picking on others or her was not tolerated. So no one did it. Simple as that.