Baby Found Dead in Vehicle

[Yakwoman]

This happened where I live. Summer has barely begun and already we have children dying in vehicles. So sad.

Baby Found Dead in Vehicle

A 5-month-old baby died in a minivan Wednesday after the mother apparently forgot to drop the child off at day care.

The tragedy was discovered about 5:30 p.m. outside the Wonder Years 2 day care. The baby's mother stopped at the day care after work to pick up the child and was told by staff that the baby had not been dropped off. She realized then that the baby had been in her minivan all day.

http://www.grandforks.com/mld/grandforks/14926060.htm

[ember]

How in the H*LL does this happen???!!! And keep happening???!!!
I just can't wrap my head around this!:banghead:
I'm at work 10 hours a day 4 days a week and still know where my children are constantly because I call home to check on them so often...and they're at home with my husband, their father!!!! How does someone just forget their child???!!! This makes me crazy!!!:behindbar I am a very busy woman, but NEVER that busy!


That poor baby....:(

[Sassygerl]

I hate these stories!!!!! I'll never understand how someone forgets their child in the back seat!!! Prayers for the family and the mother...she will never forgive herself.

[JBean]

This happened where I live. Summer has barely begun and already we have children dying in vehicles. So sad.

Baby Found Dead in Vehicle

A 5-month-old baby died in a minivan Wednesday after the mother apparently forgot to drop the child off at day care.

The tragedy was discovered about 5:30 p.m. outside the Wonder Years 2 day care. The baby's mother stopped at the day care after work to pick up the child and was told by staff that the baby had not been dropped off. She realized then that the baby had been in her minivan all day.

http://www.grandforks.com/mld/grandforks/14926060.htmMan this is just so hard to believe. This lady has way too much on her mind and none of it includes her baby. Work must be a real priority for her.
How do you face your family after doing something so negligent?

[bakerprune64]

I don't understand how this can happen. I'm gonna go a little off the subject here (not completely though) and say that when it was 106 here last week, it was 121 inside my truck when I got in it after work. I doubt that her actions were deliberate, and she'll have to live the rest of her life knowing that she caused her baby's death. I have three kids and a full time job and have never forgotten one of my kids. So not making excuses for her but a possible explanation could have been that she got a late start to work and was hurried, got the baby loaded up in the vehicle and the little one was fast asleep. She was rushing to get everywhere on time and with the baby not making a peep, forgot that he/she was there. It could happen,. Very sad for the entire family.

[kato]

Year after year. I just don't understand these idiots!

[Gmommy]

I just feel so sorry for this mother and her family. I wonder if she shared drop-off duties with her spouse. I used to share drop-off with my husband and during the periods where we were especially sleep deprived I know we forgot to drop off important things like the bottles but never the baby. I can easily see how this could happen.

This same thing happened last year, right? I seem to remember reading a news blurb about the parent discovering their child when they went out to their vehicle and a coworker heard the screaming. Just terrible all around and the poor woman will have to live with this :(

[Old Broad]

Here is a very informative article on how this happens so often. Every summer we hear these terrible stories and wonder how in the world it can happen! After reading this it seems we must not ever hear about most of the stories because the numbers are staggering!! A terrible thing for everybody involved.

Old Broad

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13537542/

[GlitchWizard]

I could not survive if I had forgotten a child and it died. It would be torture for me to even conceive of it.

[eve]

It makes me wonder if someone should invent some kind of a warning device -- rigged through the car seat to the ignition key or something -- alerting parents that they haven't removed the child from the car seat. OMG this is awful, and happens repeatedly! I did once drive off leaving my daughter in her car seat on the front porch -- only for about 30 seconds though! I was horrified! So busy trying to get my 2-year old buckled in, I forgot about her, she was patiently waiting in her car seat on the porch! EEK!

Eve

[GlitchWizard]

It makes me wonder if someone should invent some kind of a warning device -- rigged through the car seat to the ignition key or something -- alerting parents that they haven't removed the child from the car seat. OMG this is awful, and happens repeatedly! I did once drive off leaving my daughter in her car seat on the front porch -- only for about 30 seconds though! I was horrified! So busy trying to get my 2-year old buckled in, I forgot about her, she was patiently waiting in her car seat on the porch! EEK!

Eve
That's a good idea. There is already a buzzer that tells you when your seatbelt isn't fastened and your door isn't shut. Why not one that says the carseat is still fastened when the car is turned off?

[lilsister]

Eve, that is an awesome idea!!! You should definately look into that!

[shdbepaintin]

It makes me wonder if someone should invent some kind of a warning device -- rigged through the car seat to the ignition key or something -- alerting parents that they haven't removed the child from the car seat. OMG this is awful, and happens repeatedly! I did once drive off leaving my daughter in her car seat on the front porch -- only for about 30 seconds though! I was horrified! So busy trying to get my 2-year old buckled in, I forgot about her, she was patiently waiting in her car seat on the porch! EEK!

Eve
Eve,
This idea is even better then the guy with the orbital car seat (and his is awesome) that was on American Inventor. You are on to something.

[TisHerself]

It makes me wonder if someone should invent some kind of a warning device -- rigged through the car seat to the ignition key or something -- alerting parents that they haven't removed the child from the car seat. OMG this is awful, and happens repeatedly! I did once drive off leaving my daughter in her car seat on the front porch -- only for about 30 seconds though! I was horrified! So busy trying to get my 2-year old buckled in, I forgot about her, she was patiently waiting in her car seat on the porch! EEK!

Eve
If it will save babies lifes and other Mother's from going threw this horror then it is a great idea.

[Beyond Belief]

This makes me so sad.

[michelle]

That's a good idea. There is already a buzzer that tells you when your seatbelt isn't fastened and your door isn't shut. Why not one that says the carseat is still fastened when the car is turned off?Isn't it sad though that they would actually sell the crap out of a device like that because people are so preoccupied with work ect...I mean I think anything that will save a life is good especially a little baby, but that is insane!

[lisag]

I feel sad for the family, although I do not understand how this can happen,... How can you forget ???

[michelle]

I feel sad for the family, although I do not understand how this can happen,... How can you forget ???Who knows....I think about my son all day when he is in pre-k or whatever we are doing. I cannot Fathom how a child is "forgotten". It makes no sense what so ever to me!!!!

[Masissy]

Who knows....I think about my son all day when he is in pre-k or whatever we are doing. I cannot Fathom how a child is "forgotten". It makes no sense what so ever to me!!!!
Me too Michelle and mine are 18 and 13. This baby was 5 months old, wonder why she never called day care to check on he/she. I have been known to call school and have them pull my kids out of class so I can just hear their voices.

[michelle]

Me too Michelle and mine are 18 and 13. This baby was 5 months old, wonder why she never called day care to check on he/she. I have been known to call school and have them pull my kids out of class so I can just hear their voices.I am the same way. People think I am too "anal". I dont care, when It comes to my child I will do anything to try to keep them safe!!

[ember]

I am the same way. People think I am too "anal". I dont care, when It comes to my child I will do anything to try to keep them safe!!
Me too! :p Even my kids say "mom you worry too much!"
But I tell them that's my job!
I would rather be saying "what if" than "If only"...

[michelle]

I would rather be saying "what if" than "If only"...EXACTLY!!!!:clap:

[TisHerself]

EXACTLY!!!!:clap:
What I don't understand is, when she went to the day care after work to pick the baby up, isn't it odd she did not remember she not go there in the morning?

[michelle]

What I don't understand is, when she went to the day care after work to pick the baby up, isn't it odd she did not remember she not go there in the morning?YES that is odd, That stood out to me too. I wonder if she is on medication or something?

[mic730]

It makes me wonder if someone should invent some kind of a warning device -- rigged through the car seat to the ignition key or something -- alerting parents that they haven't removed the child from the car seat. OMG this is awful, and happens repeatedly! I did once drive off leaving my daughter in her car seat on the front porch -- only for about 30 seconds though! I was horrified! So busy trying to get my 2-year old buckled in, I forgot about her, she was patiently waiting in her car seat on the porch! EEK!

Eve

Eve this is an awesome idea! This is the very type of thing a parent would buy. You really should try to do this.

My aunt drove to work one day several years ago noticed her 2 year old still asleep in the car seat. She is an extemley responsible parent but IMO was mesmorized by routine. Like road hypnosis is how I think this happens.

[Amraann]

I think its like "auto pilot"

Have you ever driven your normal route home and gotten home and came out of your "trance?"

I mean you were aware and alert but your mind is sooo far off.
I know this is different because a baby was involved.
Its sad but IMO not criminal. This women is not a threat to society.

[kgeaux]

It makes me wonder if someone should invent some kind of a warning device -- rigged through the car seat to the ignition key or something -- alerting parents that they haven't removed the child from the car seat. OMG this is awful, and happens repeatedly! I did once drive off leaving my daughter in her car seat on the front porch -- only for about 30 seconds though! I was horrified! So busy trying to get my 2-year old buckled in, I forgot about her, she was patiently waiting in her car seat on the porch! EEK!

Eve


Sweetie, Go for it! Your idea is an idea that has been a long time in coming.

I have never forgotten a child in a car seat--BUT, and I hate to admit this, since the mom has been called an idiot, etc., I have forgotten a child at home. We had this huge van, and 4 kids in 5 1/2 years and were off to the dentist. I had loaded everyone up and ran back into the house to grab my purse or something. When we got to the dentist, I counted One, Two, Three, as my boys climbed out of the van. But where, oh where was the baby? At home. Hiding under the azalea bush in the front yard. He had climbed out of his car seat after I'd loaded him up, and I didn't recount before backing out of the driveway. To this day I break out in a cold sweat when I realize all the horrible things that could have happened. I could have backed over him. Someone evil could have come by and picked him up before I drove up to rescue him. All kinds of bad things could have happened.

I can only imagine this mother's guilt, and I have nothing but sympathy for her. Her pain must be awful, as she realizes how her baby suffered and died because she was distracted or forgot or whatever. I've come too close to her tragedy for me to condem her.

[ljwf22]

I like the idea of an alarm going off if a sealbelt is still buckled when the car is turned off. Some new school buses have an alarm that goes off if the driver doesn't inspect (and touch) every seat during the post-route inspection.

Unless the baby was in the third seat of a van, I don't know how she would not have seen the baby. Maybe because I always have more than just a purse to take into work and I put my tote bags in the back seat. And I wonder why day care didn't call when the baby didn't show up for the day. So sad. I can't even fathom the grief for the family,

[beakiebean]

This isn't quite as high tech (and I really like the idea of an alarm too!) but I read an article once that said to always put your purse, wallet, or something you'd have to take with you in the back seat so you always had to look back there and get it and you'd see the backseat and see your child in there.

[concernedperson]

I just don't think I would ever forget a child maybe if the coffee pot was still on. But, that has been proven faulty over the years.It is always off even when I worry about it.

Maybe, I am too sensitive about children. I just go into overdrive about them. Not saying stuff didn't happen to them but I always knew if they were in the back seat or not.

On a humorous note, my two year old knocked over a shelf at a store. Broke all the things on it. He was pugnacious at best. Active too. I walked my young butt right out....couldn't hardly afford groceries much less a shelf at the store. I know, a chicken chit way to deal but I would rather state my faults than rest on bad legs.

[Amraann]

I like the idea of an alarm going off if a sealbelt is still buckled when the car is turned off. Some new school buses have an alarm that goes off if the driver doesn't inspect (and touch) every seat during the post-route inspection.

Unless the baby was in the third seat of a van, I don't know how she would not have seen the baby. Maybe because I always have more than just a purse to take into work and I put my tote bags in the back seat. And I wonder why day care didn't call when the baby didn't show up for the day. So sad. I can't even fathom the grief for the family,

I think the alarm should go off until the baby is removed.
Plenty of carseats are not removed when unloading a baby, therefore the belt would remain locked.

[lilsister]

Still a great concept...wow! kudos!!!!!

[ljwf22]

I think the alarm should go off until the baby is removed.
Plenty of carseats are not removed when unloading a baby, therefore the belt would remain locked.
Ah! Didn't think of that! Then an alarm somehow attached to the carseat's buckle...or the base which stays in the car.

[TisHerself]

YES that is odd, That stood out to me too. I wonder if she is on medication or something?
I was wondering about that also, I just really can't understand how she could not know she did not go there in the morning. I mean I can understand maybe forgetting a baby in a car, but how do you go back to pick a baby up and not remember you never even dropped her offf?

[Old Broad]

Here are some links to other incidents where babies were forgotten in the car.

This one was an aunt who was babysitting.
http://www.4rkidssake.org/FL1427.htm

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/text/2005/oct/04/519460640.html
This one lists several cases in Las Vegas, one a father who forgot to drop off the child at daycare on his way to work as a teacher.

http://www.rr-bb.com/archive/index.php/t-111173.html

This is another mother who forgot to drop the baby off at daycare, later the father went to pick up the baby and was told it was not there so he called his wife, she then ran out to the car to find her baby still inside.

Yet another father, forgot his 10 month old baby was in the backseat as he parked the car at work.
http://www.irvineworldnews.com/Astories/aug14/child.htm

This story tells of a father who forgot his baby in his car parked at the train station. He suddenly remembered after traveling on the train and was able to take another train back to the car. People had already spotted the abandoned baby and it had already been rescued so luckily that baby was saved!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11982453/

I could list so many more stories just like these here, it seems the list never ends!

Old Broad

[GlitchWizard]

Whoever suggested the idea of a car seat indicator - PLEASE contact the patent office immediately, fill out the forms so you get to get rich off the idea, and then contact Ford, Chevy, Dodge, etc. Whoever and get this product out on the market. They're making cameras on the back of minivans because of people backing over their kids - I'm sure your idea will really fly. If you need proof you were the first to mention it - print this thread out - you've got a spectacular idea and anyone who has their husband drive their baby to work would demand it to be in their car.

It would make me feel better knowing the product was out there, too.

[Paladin]

Sadly, I agree a device like this would be a good idea. Why sadly though? People SHOULDN'T need a device to remind them to be a friggin' parent and remember their child is in the back seat.

I don't want it to get to the point where we use devices like this as a crutch to help us parent, and heaven forbid if the device fails and a child die, we'll see countless recalls and lawsuits by lazy parents using this as an excuse for not caring about thier child enough to remember where they are.

[Yakwoman]

Here's an update on the story:

The investigation into the death of a 5-month-old girl left alone in a van all day Wednesday may take weeks to complete, Grand Forks police said.

Andrea Boe, 34, thought she had left her daughter, Kate, at a day-care center before going to work Wednesday morning, authorities said. Police said the mother drove to her day care about 5:30 p.m., after leaving work, and was told she had not dropped the girl off earlier.

http://www.grandforks.com/mld/grandforks/14935197.htm

[GlitchWizard]

Sadly, I agree a device like this would be a good idea. Why sadly though? People SHOULDN'T need a device to remind them to be a friggin' parent and remember their child is in the back seat.

I don't want it to get to the point where we use devices like this as a crutch to help us parent, and heaven forbid if the device fails and a child die, we'll see countless recalls and lawsuits by lazy parents using this as an excuse for not caring about thier child enough to remember where they are.

If the seatbelt device fails and the driver doesn't put his or her seatbelt on, the car manufacturer isn't at fault when you become part of the dashboard.

Maybe parents can tether themselves to their children.

[Jade]

Here's an update on the story:

The investigation into the death of a 5-month-old girl left alone in a van all day Wednesday may take weeks to complete, Grand Forks police said.

Andrea Boe, 34, thought she had left her daughter, Kate, at a day-care center before going to work Wednesday morning, authorities said. Police said the mother drove to her day care about 5:30 p.m., after leaving work, and was told she had not dropped the girl off earlier.

http://www.grandforks.com/mld/grandforks/14935197.htm

What a horrid scene that must have been at the day care center….
Are there any siblings?
At 34 with a 5 month old and a job maybe she was sleep deprived? Wonder what kind of work she did? Mine didn’t go to day care until much older and only a couple days a week but the dropping off and picking up was a major event in my day. I would think at 5 months there would be quite a bit of paraphernalia that would have to be prepared and carried in as well.

So sad.

[mymeow]

This is a truly tragic story. As a new mother who takes her child to daycare every day, I know that sometimes I'm half way to work and, due to major sleep deprivation, will panic and think-oh my God, did I drop the baby off? Of course I did, but there have been times when I got on the parkway (which is a block before the day care) because it was my routine for 5 years. I used to think these parents were idiots, too, but after trying to function on 2 hours sleep some nights, I, sadly, can see how this would happen. My heart goes out to this family. I also don't think I could survive the guilt.

[Yakwoman]

What a horrid scene that must have been at the day care center….
Are there any siblings?
At 34 with a 5 month old and a job maybe she was sleep deprived? Wonder what kind of work she did? Mine didn’t go to day care until much older and only a couple days a week but the dropping off and picking up was a major event in my day. I would think at 5 months there would be quite a bit of paraphernalia that would have to be prepared and carried in as well.

So sad.

Andrea is a marketing director for an engineering firm. Her workplace is practically across the street from the day care. Not sure if they had any other kids. So sad.

[Garnan]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.

[Masissy]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.
Probably for autopsy results.

[Yakwoman]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.

Well, it wasn't a car - it was a van and it had tinted windows. From what I've been able to gather via news reports and the old "grapevine," it seems that it was simply a tragic accident, and I think the autopsy results will bear that out.

[Yakwoman]

Here is the obituary notice, along with a photo of little Kate.

http://www.legacy.com/grandforks/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=18298260

[Leila]

I heard a radio interview yesterday with a woman who's the spokesperson for an auto-safety group. She had a few good tips for people who regularly transport their infants and toddlers to daycare or other places. One thing she said was to get into the habit of having your purse and/or briefcase or whatever you normally carry in the car, placed right next to the car seat, which would nessitate you opening the rear door and seeing the child.

The other hint was to have a teddy bear in the car seat when it's not in use. When you place the child in the car seat, move the teddy bear to the front seat and place it where you can't miss it, reminding you that a child is on board.

The woman is advocating some sort of alarm either on car seats or on the car that will go off when the engine is turned off. It might be as simple as something that can be programmed into the car's computer that the owner can pre-set only once when they purchase the car. The alarm will come on every time the engine is turned off. I like the idea that the alarm could be a pre-programmed voice alert "child in rear seat" as opposed to a sound, as often people get used to a sound and their mind tunes them out. A verbal alert might be more effective.

[reb]

does anyone notice an increase of people being distracted all day long from yakking incessantly on their cell phones, and this kind of thing happening....???

[lizziedripping]

This is very strange, why didn't she see the baby in the car when she left work that afternoon? Sorry for this, but... wouldn't there have been an odor in the car as well? I am not liking what I am thinking, but this is not your typical left the baby in the car story. I am not surprised that an investigation is going to take 2 weeks.
I'm not sure if I think it's strange or just hard to believe. Does anyone know where the van was parked, on the company car park, on the street? Surely the baby must have been crying at some stage, strange how nobody heard it

[Old Broad]

I wish someone had been able to see the baby and gotten help but I'm thinking that with the temperature rising, the affect would be just the oposite, the baby would be more apt to fall asleep.

A couple years ago I got upset with seeing a small dog left in the car parked at a restaraunt. It was the middle of summer and Hot! I went inside and called humane society and police station. Of course the people responsible for leaving that poor dog inside the swealtering car did it on purpose. I'm sorry but leaving an animal inside an oven with a little crack in the window is criminal, it was a sit down place and they were probably in there 45-60 minutes.

It happens also that young children get inside parked cars and are killed. Some just curl up and go to sleep, never trying to get back out.

Old Broad

[Yakwoman]

I'm not sure if I think it's strange or just hard to believe. Does anyone know where the van was parked, on the company car park, on the street? Surely the baby must have been crying at some stage, strange how nobody heard it

It's a very small parking lot where the employees park. Most likely, everyone arrived around the same time and didn't leave again until lunchtime or closing time (even by lunchtime it was probably too late to hear anything). The van had tinted windows, so it was unlikely anyone would have seen anything even if they had looked.

[Amraann]

This poor family.


Its worth noting that these types of accidents seem more prevalant now that women are a larger part of the work force.
You can only do a million and ONE things at once before you start to forget.
You cook you clean you still do all those Mommy/ wife things and you work 40 hours or more per week.
I am sad that at 5 months old this baby had to go into daycare. I know that its what a working mom has to do. I am not bashing.. I am just saying its almost impossible for a family to survive without 2 incomes nowadays and mom's working are more distracted and over stressed then ever before.

[2sisters]

I consider myself a smart woman (somewhat). I love my children, I would step in front of a speeding train for them. I am a good mother and they are my first priority above everything. They are my life. That said, I have driven past my day care before and had to turn around half way to work b/c my babies are in the car still. I have also driven past and failed to pick them up ( I have 4 month old twins). This happens to alot of us so lets lay off this woman a little and quit being so judgemental. The mother must feel awful, I would want to kill myself i would feel so bad. i don't think I could live with out my babies.

[Yakwoman]

I consider myself a smart woman (somewhat). I love my children, I would step in front of a speeding train for them. I am a good mother and they are my first priority above everything. They are my life. That said, I have driven past my day care before and had to turn around half way to work b/c my babies are in the car still. I have also driven past and failed to pick them up ( I have 4 month old twins). This happens to alot of us so lets lay off this woman a little and quit being so judgemental. The mother must feel awful, I would want to kill myself i would feel so bad. i don't think I could live with out my babies.

Well said. :clap:

[Yakwoman]

This poor family.


Its worth noting that these types of accidents seem more prevalant now that women are a larger part of the work force.
You can only do a million and ONE things at once before you start to forget.
You cook you clean you still do all those Mommy/ wife things and you work 40 hours or more per week.
I am sad that at 5 months old this baby had to go into daycare. I know that its what a working mom has to do. I am not bashing.. I am just saying its almost impossible for a family to survive without 2 incomes nowadays and mom's working are more distracted and over stressed then ever before.

Very true. We are supposed to be "super women" who can "have it all" and when it comes right down to it, we are just human.

[lizziedripping]

It's a very small parking lot where the employees park. Most likely, everyone arrived around the same time and didn't leave again until lunchtime or closing time (even by lunchtime it was probably too late to hear anything). The van had tinted windows, so it was unlikely anyone would have seen anything even if they had looked.
Thanks Yakwoman, I think I was visualising a large car park with people constantly coming and going.

[Malapoo]

There was a time I could never understand how these things happened, but having worked with a wide variety of people over the years and having forgotten some pretty standard things myself more as the years passed, I can understand how they happen. Doesn't make it any less tragic, but I would bet that these folks will suffer enough for the rest of their lives without any reminders or chastisement from outside.


I travel certain routes to see family and football games repeatedly every year and have frequently found myself "daydreaming" only to look around and have absolutely no idea where I am. Routes I see regularly and certainly after a few miles I see a landmark I know, but it's sort of scary. Worked with a girl who performed the same task for YEARS and one morning she came past and I said have you done such and such (that task) and she said "Oh, would you like me to START doing that now?" - I'm not exaggerating, this task had been her responsibility for YEARS and suddenly it was like she'd never done it and had no idea that it was her job to begin with. I don't have children but she does and claims to be ADHD as well though as much as she likes to sit on her butt, I find that hard to believe since she doesn't take any meds etc for it.

Especially being in the work force, you get in sort of a monotonous routine where you "zone out" and as horrible as it seems, these things can and do happen. A veterinarian in this state did it - he wasn't the usual child care handler but had a few days when he did the morning routine which wasn't normally his and wound up with a dead child and this after they'd tried for years including fertility to even HAVE a baby. I won't tar & feather him because I know there is nothing society can do to him that comes close to what he'll do to himself inside for the rest of his life.

[TisHerself]

I consider myself a smart woman (somewhat). I love my children, I would step in front of a speeding train for them. I am a good mother and they are my first priority above everything. They are my life. That said, I have driven past my day care before and had to turn around half way to work b/c my babies are in the car still. I have also driven past and failed to pick them up ( I have 4 month old twins). This happens to alot of us so lets lay off this woman a little and quit being so judgemental. The mother must feel awful, I would want to kill myself i would feel so bad. i don't think I could live with out my babies.
Nobody is being judgemental or saying anything bad about this woman, some were just asking questions to try to make things a little clearer in their minds that's all. We can do that, my heart goes out to her she has to be totally devastated. Just because we are asking questions does not mean we are judging her, if I thought she was at fault I would come right out and say so.

[JBean]

Very true. We are supposed to be "super women" who can "have it all" and when it comes right down to it, we are just human.Hi Yak.I think we should stop trying to be superwomen. We can't do it all well, it's impossible. I have never met a woman that CAN do it all, without something getting neglected.I thought I could do it "all" once upon a time, but i figured out fast that while it appears everything is 'getting done" something is taking a backseat and is being neglected. Could be work that is neglected, could be family but something is coming in second. Might be as simple as losing the evening family meal because everyone is "too busy".
What I found really sad, was the "safety" tip to put your briefcase or purse near your child so you have to open the door and this will remind you that your child is there:eek: . Seems like it should be the other way around. That tip alone really rings of misplaced priorities IMO. I don't mean about specific women but about society in general.
We should put our briefcases next to our children to remember our briefcases.
I know accidents happen everyday all the time. But when we are so
preoccupied with work or other aspects of life that we forget our kids,it's time to make a change. Again, I am not speaking about this woman specifically, because i think she represents many.I am speaking about our society in general, about the expectations placed on us to be superwomen.
I feel really bad for this woman and her family.

[TisHerself]

Hi Yak.I think we should stop trying to be superwomen. We can't do it all well, it's impossible. I have never met a woman that CAN do it all, without something getting neglected.I thought I could do it "all" once upon a time, but i figured out fast that while it appears everything is 'getting done" something is taking a backseat and is being neglected. Could be work that is neglected, could be family but something is coming in second. Might be as simple as losing the evening family meal because everyone is "too busy".
What I found really sad, was the "safety" tip to put your briefcase or purse near your child so you have to open the door and this will remind you that your child is there:eek: . Seems like it should be the other way around. That tip alone really rings of misplaced priorities IMO. I don't mean about specific women but about society in general.
We should put our briefcases next to our children to remember our briefcases.
I know accidents happen everyday all the time. But when we are so
preoccupied with work or other aspects of life that we forget our kids,it's time to make a change. Again, I am not speaking about this woman specifically, because i think she represents many.I am speaking about our society in general, about the expectations placed on us to be superwomen.
I feel really bad for this woman and her family.
Great post, that's all I think some were saying when they were questioning, not judging this woman. It is really sad that it is to the point we have to think of puttting a briefcase next to us to remind us our child is in the car.
It does not speak to well of our society as a whole, and the pressures many of us are under in order to survive. The fact that our minds can be so overloaded and tired that we would need to have briefcases or alarms is really sad.

[GlitchWizard]

It hurt my heart to see the obituary of that baby.

I have ADD and ran a gifted preschool for many years. I do recall that the kids had a rule that if they were sent to stand in the corner and felt they were there for a REALLY long time - they were allowed to leave the corner. That was because I'd forget I put them there.

Obviously I never forgot to feed them, bathe them, take them places and bring them back - I was forever on top of things and can't relate to someone who would forget their kids - but maybe it's because I always double and triple check things now, as a work-around for ADD. But just because I don't understand it, does not mean I think it's impossible.

I just can't fathom how I'd FEEL if it were me.

Worse yet - when you already feel like the worst you can POSSIBLY feel, ever - to have someone charge you with the death - that would be too much.

[2sisters]

Nobody is being judgemental or saying anything bad about this woman, some were just asking questions to try to make things a little clearer in their minds that's all. We can do that, my heart goes out to her she has to be totally devastated. Just because we are asking questions does not mean we are judging her, if I thought she was at fault I would come right out and say so.It wasn't directed at posters who were asking questions, such as, the parking situation but at posts questioning if it was an accident or ones basically calling her irresponsible and a bad mother. It never hurts to question a situation.

[GlitchWizard]

It is difficult to know how to handle these situations. Obviously if it's an accident, the mother needs some SERIOUS comforting and feeling sorry for. But - if it's easy to leave your kid in the car on purpose to die, and then claim to be devistated - more women/men will just be able to say "oops" and get away with murder.

If it happened to me, I'd totally not want to survive, much less be accused and questioned first - but if some guy/girl did that to my kid - I'd want him to be accused and questioned to be sure it was an accident.

I don't have any answers to what procedure should be to handle this. ARE there any right answers?

[Masissy]

It makes me wonder if someone should invent some kind of a warning device -- rigged through the car seat to the ignition key or something -- alerting parents that they haven't removed the child from the car seat. OMG this is awful, and happens repeatedly! I did once drive off leaving my daughter in her car seat on the front porch -- only for about 30 seconds though! I was horrified! So busy trying to get my 2-year old buckled in, I forgot about her, she was patiently waiting in her car seat on the porch! EEK!

Eve
Eve,

Seems your idea has been in the working......

http://tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060714/FEATURES01/607140377/1076/FEATURES

[GlitchWizard]

A sponge under a baby? I should think this should be waterproof. I'd spill my coffee and the kid would pee - and we'd never get that alarm to shut up.