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Marie
12-31-2006, 04:57 PM
Kids Taken, Mother Arrested After Child Found On Interstate (http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10636968/detail.html)


Police said the boy wandered out of a second-story apartment, down the stairs and about 200 yards to the road at about 9 a.m. He was clad in only a shirt and diaper, and gone for two hours.

Mom's 2yo daughter was found filthy and eating off the floor, while mom napped.

2sisters
12-31-2006, 04:59 PM
The "mother" says her place was a mess b/c she was unpacking. Yeah, when I move and unpack there is ofter poop on the walls.

IndyLaw
12-31-2006, 05:01 PM
I saw her on our local news last night - she looked completely strung out.

It's fortunate that this happened on a Saturday. In weekday/rush hour traffic, I fear the result would have been even more tragic.

Floh
12-31-2006, 05:03 PM
Good luck trying to find the father. :rolleyes:

she seems as though she's given up and actually doesn't care.

thank goodness the children have been reached before it's too late for them because i have no doubt worse was to befall them.

cynpat2000
12-31-2006, 05:03 PM
Thank goodness that little guy was not injured. Im so glad those babies got taken away from that "mother" . I hope they lock her up and throw away the key. She is such a :loser: . There are so many people out there that cant have kids and scum like this can have kids and do them this way , it makes me :sick: .

FactsareFacts
12-31-2006, 05:17 PM
The "mother" says her place was a mess b/c she was unpacking. Yeah, when I move and unpack there is ofter poop on the walls.


:laugh: ROFLMAO yes me too and spaghetti on the floor too!

Reannan
12-31-2006, 06:34 PM
What a sad life for all of them. What do you want to bet she tries to get the kids back? Best thing for everyone would be for them to be placed in a loving home. Too bad, it is so hard to find those types of environments these days. I would also like to know what kind of support network the Mother has. Where is the Dad? Drugs have to be involved. People can sure make a mess of their lives, can't they?

Mr. E
12-31-2006, 06:50 PM
Did you see that baby's diaper? It reminded me of that Family Guy episode where Peter was in charge of Stewie because Lois was incarcerated. Stewie's diaper was dragging along the floor. This poor little girl's diaper was to her ankles, and she was filthy. Beautiful child. Mother had been asleep for two hours and didn't know her autistic son was even gone??? Okay, the kids are babies and shouldn't be left unattended, and he's autistic. The report said she has to go to court to get her kids back. I hope she doesn't bother.

kidzndogznme
12-31-2006, 07:40 PM
EW! Are you serious? I haven't read the links yet but I have moved over 15 times in my life and clutter is not the same thing as dookey on the walls. :doh:

The "mother" says her place was a mess b/c she was unpacking. Yeah, when I move and unpack there is ofter poop on the walls.

IndyLaw
12-31-2006, 08:27 PM
Hoping to find where the boy lived, Merritt, joined by Child Protective Services workers, went to the nearby Scarborough Lake Apartments. An assistant apartment manager directed them to the Dyer family's unit.
Their arrival woke Nancy Dyer up.
"Oh, he got out again," Merritt said she told him after hearing about her son's escape.
Dyer, who moved here from Florida about six months ago, told police she doesn't hear the children after she falls asleep on their one bed and had last seen Damon and her daughter, Gabriel, 2, just after midnight. Dyer told police she often used boxes to secure the apartment's door because Damon is able to unlock it, Merritt said. Whether she did so Friday night was unclear.
Merritt said Indianapolis police earlier last week were summoned to the area after the boy was seen running around a parking lot near his home unattended.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061231/LOCAL/612310322

lynie
12-31-2006, 08:39 PM
I very much hope that this is a new beginning for those two babies.... :mad:

Let this be the worst day of their lives, and the best thing that ever happened to them!

Lynie

SadieMae
12-31-2006, 08:59 PM
How does one secure a door with boxes????
Seems getting a keyed deadbolt would be a sure thing to keep the kids inside. I kept the key on a chain around my neck when locked.
I agree, those kids will be better off wthout her.

ETA: She looks really skanky, JMO.

Mr. E
12-31-2006, 09:09 PM
This new article says that the mother last saw her children just after midnight.

Saturday morning. You have a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old. How do you not wake up? My kids used to be up at the crack of dawn when they were that age. If my husband and I were still asleep, the kids would crawl into bed with us, prying my eyelids open and saying, "Mommy, are you awake?" They would make such rackets that you coudn't stay asleep for long.

Was this woman stoned? Drunk? There's got to be more to it.

SadieMae
12-31-2006, 09:15 PM
This new article says that the mother last saw her children just after midnight.

Saturday morning. You have a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old. How do you not wake up? My kids used to be up at the crack of dawn when they were that age. If my husband and I were still asleep, the kids would crawl into bed with us, prying my eyelids open and saying, "Mommy, are you awake?" They would make such rackets that you coudn't stay asleep for long.

Was this woman stoned? Drunk? There's got to be more to it.
I agree! Mine are 22 months apart and no way could I sleep once they awoke when they were 2 & 3. I had to laugh, mine would pull my eyelids open too!!!

IndyLaw
12-31-2006, 09:35 PM
Was this woman stoned? Drunk? There's got to be more to it.

She looked stoned and/or drugged on her way to jail. :banghead:

Malapoo
12-31-2006, 09:40 PM
Now you guys are jumping to conclusions - maybe it's like dogs marking their territory. She wanted to be sure that when her little boy got out, he could find his way home. Food on the floor is in case she does over sleep so the kids can eat. Good grief, give the poor woman a break. http://www.websleuths.com/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gif

SadieMae
12-31-2006, 10:04 PM
:laugh: Now you guys are jumping to conclusions - maybe it's like dogs marking their territory. She wanted to be sure that when her little boy got out, he could find his way home. Food on the floor is in case she does over sleep so the kids can eat. Good grief, give the poor woman a break. http://www.websleuths.com/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gifAnd the reason poopoo was on the wall was...???? :crazy:

Sassygerl
12-31-2006, 10:04 PM
OMG......how sad!!!! The mother looked like she's a crystal meth or crack user IMO.

I hope 2007 holds a safe and promising future for those 2 babies!

Malapoo
12-31-2006, 10:10 PM
:laugh: And the reason poopoo was on the wall was...???? :crazy:
Silly, Mom figured that poo would carry a stronger (and therefore further) smell then peeing on the walls!

Opie
12-31-2006, 10:13 PM
Those poor, poor babies. Wonder where their father(s) is/are, as this woman seems to be on her own with the children. I hope they are kept together in a wonderful loving home with someone capable of caring for them. I do hope we get to learn more details about this situation.

IndyLaw
12-31-2006, 10:15 PM
Those poor, poor babies. Wonder where their father(s) is/are, as this woman seems to be on her own with the children. I hope they are kept together in a wonderful loving home with someone capable of caring for them. I do hope we get to learn more details about this situation.

It was reported that the children's father is in Florida, and authorities are attempting to contact him.

SadieMae
12-31-2006, 11:10 PM
Silly, Mom figured that poo would carry a stronger (and therefore further) smell then peeing on the walls!Now that makes perfect sense to me. If she was smart enough to think of all that, then why didn't the beyotch get dogs instead of having babies! :D

Mr. E
01-01-2007, 12:39 AM
Judging from the state of that poor little girl's diaper, I'm guessing there must have been poop everywhere! No wonder her brother let himself out of the house.

OT, but why is it that there are certain cases that just really get to you? I feel sad or upset or angry when I read cases like this, but then sometimes it just really gets to me. For some reason the sight of that baby girl in her filthy diaper has stuck in my mind. It breaks my heart.

Malapoo
01-01-2007, 09:37 AM
Dear Lord, I need to respectfully tell you that creating mankind so that they could reproduce "automatically" wasn't the best idea. It should be that when people want to have children, they get counseling and then have to get a minor operation to enable reproduction. I think of all those people who struggle to have children and sometimes never do, but crack headed no goods can spit them out like Pez and treat them like Pez as well.

2sisters
01-01-2007, 11:01 AM
Did you see that baby's diaper? It reminded me of that Family Guy episode where Peter was in charge of Stewie because Lois was incarcerated. Stewie's diaper was dragging along the floor. This poor little girl's diaper was to her ankles, and she was filthy. Beautiful child. Mother had been asleep for two hours and didn't know her autistic son was even gone??? Okay, the kids are babies and shouldn't be left unattended, and he's autistic. The report said she has to go to court to get her kids back. I hope she doesn't bother.I have seen that, it's dragging behind him and he can barely move! It reminded me of the diapers I see when my kids wake up. At that point it is ready to burst so we have to hurry, they can only hold so much. Jeez.
Who sleeps with a kid running around?

Marie
01-01-2007, 12:51 PM
OT, but why is it that there are certain cases that just really get to you? I feel sad or upset or angry when I read cases like this, but then sometimes it just really gets to me. For some reason the sight of that baby girl in her filthy diaper has stuck in my mind. It breaks my heart.Mr. E, I understand about certain cases getting to you, this one gets to me, too. I think the sight of that droppy, filthy, ankle-hanging diaper graphically demonstrates the lack of love, concern, tenderess, joy, even basic care, that these two little children are suffering. Sadly there are many more of them behind closed doors, it's very heartbreaking.

Mygirlsadie
01-01-2007, 01:10 PM
I understand when you move your place can get messy. With small kids life becomes a little overwhelming at the time. I been there done that many times actually we do it every 3 years being in the military. However....regardless of how tiring and how much work it is there is no excuse for poo on the walls and your babies walking around in diarrea filled diapers and mom to be in bed at 9am. The autistic boy escaping the house well obviously mom knew he was autistic and had attempted escapes before so she should of been prepared for that situation I don't care if it meant her sleeping in front of the door then that is what I would of done. My son is Autistic and I know all too well about their little escape habits. I almost lost my mind during that period of our life due to over exhaustion and worry.

southcitymom
01-01-2007, 01:13 PM
The mother looks utterly defeated. My heart goes out to her and two these two children. Certainly, poverty and substance abuse appears to be at play in this case.

hipmamajen
01-01-2007, 01:32 PM
That's just so sad! I'm glad he's still alive.

There's a big difference between clutter and filth. I guarantee if you stop by my house that you will find clutter. But I can't imagine letting the house get like they're describing.

At one point, I had 3 kids age 2 and under, and I was tired and there were hundreds of diapers a week. But, poop on the walls? Never. Not even when we were all sick...

2sisters
01-01-2007, 01:57 PM
My kids diapers don't look that bad like the little girls in the morning. I was afraid my earlier post may be misunderstood. If the poo at night they wake up and I change it.

SewingDeb
01-01-2007, 02:37 PM
My kids diapers don't look that bad like the little girls in the morning. I was afraid my earlier post may be misunderstood. If the poo at night they wake up and I change it.


LOL I think we all knew that. It looks like that diaper had not been changed in days...not just overnight. Poor kids....I hope she never tries to get them back.

Reannan
01-01-2007, 02:41 PM
I bet the kids woke up this morning, the first day of the new year, with clean clothes, in a clean environment, and with good, clean food to eat. I know they probably wonder where their Mom is, but it doesn't look she was doing much that they will miss. They looked to be pretty much on auto-pilot. Mr. E commented on how much this case has stuck with him, and I totally agree. Did you notice the smile on the little girls face when she was running around? She was cute as a button, and so sad. I hope it is the first day of a very good year for all of them.....including the mother.

SewingDeb
01-01-2007, 02:53 PM
I bet the kids woke up this morning, the first day of the new year, with clean clothes, in a clean environment, and with good, clean food to eat. I know they probably wonder where their Mom is, but it doesn't look she was doing much that they will miss. They looked to be pretty much on auto-pilot. Mr. E commented on how much this case has stuck with him, and I totally agree. Did you notice the smile on the little girls face when she was running around? She was cute as a button, and so sad. I hope it is the first day of a very good year for all of them.....including the mother.

Amen. I don't think much of the mother but she definitely needs help and this brought attention to the situation and all three will be better off for it though I am sure the mother probably does not see it that way right now.

If she has a drug or alcohol problem, this may prompt her to change her life. If it is simply being overwhelmed and depressed, this will give her a break and time to think about how she can change her life.

I hope nothing but positives come from this almost tragedy. She needs to think about how close her son came to dying that morning.

teonspaleprincess
01-01-2007, 04:03 PM
And you can tell it wasn't just a wet diaper. That poor kid must have horrible diaper rash. And did you see her looking all bashful? She was so cute..even though she was filthy.

Marstan
01-01-2007, 04:15 PM
All I can say about this is: I am soooo happy this was documented on tv and on tape for future reference. I can remember a time when almost the very same incident happened in my home town. If it had not been for a female officer going in, taking pictures and documenting how the children were living, the kids would have been back with their mother. The male officers could not stand being in the filth so it was up to her.

The lady in the picture is difinately on or has been using some sort of drugs. It does not mean she does not love her children (RIGHT!), it is just that something else has become more important to her. I hate to say it but I doubt the father of these children will be much different.

:mad:

reb
01-01-2007, 08:13 PM
sterilization NOW.

Bobbisangel
01-02-2007, 06:07 AM
This is the second time that the little boy has been found wandering around outside alone and the second time the police have been called. I wonder if things looked a little different when they were called the first time. It seems like if the house was filthy and the kids were filthy they would have been taken away the first time or maybe someone dropped the ball the first time.

Looks like the little boy had a clean diaper on by the time the pictures were taken. That poor little girl though...I've never seen a diaper look like that and I raised 4 kids. One of my daughters used to pee so much during the night I swear her diaper weighed 5 lbs by morning! It still didn't look that awful.

I hope that this will be an incentive for the mother to get some help whatever type of help she needs. It bothers me that the trooper said that she didn't seem to care at all. If that is the case then the kids should be placed for adoption. Why try to work with a mother that could care less just to keep the family together like many CPS places do.

Dalilah
01-02-2007, 11:06 AM
Mom looks like a meth abuser. And, stating that she does not "hear" her kids when she sleeps makes sense for a meth abuser. Those kids are darn lucky they're not with her anymore.

SewingDeb
01-02-2007, 11:11 AM
sterilization NOW.

That would be a positive.

SewingDeb
01-02-2007, 11:14 AM
This is the second time that the little boy has been found wandering around outside alone and the second time the police have been called. I wonder if things looked a little different when they were called the first time. It seems like if the house was filthy and the kids were filthy they would have been taken away the first time or maybe someone dropped the ball the first time.

Looks like the little boy had a clean diaper on by the time the pictures were taken. That poor little girl though...I've never seen a diaper look like that and I raised 4 kids. One of my daughters used to pee so much during the night I swear her diaper weighed 5 lbs by morning! It still didn't look that awful.

I hope that this will be an incentive for the mother to get some help whatever type of help she needs. It bothers me that the trooper said that she didn't seem to care at all. If that is the case then the kids should be placed for adoption. Why try to work with a mother that could care less just to keep the family together like many CPS places do.


I agree with you Bobbi. I hope they children never have to go back to that "mother". She has had her chance with them.

Where is her family? I'm curious about them...have they tried to help at all? Or is a situation where they washed their hands of her long ago?

I think this woman needs a psychological examination and some mental help...especially since she will probably go on to have more children whether she gets these two back or not.

curious1
01-02-2007, 03:00 PM
I just saw this story. Awful. My guess is even if she was not drunk or stoned at the time she has been so many times in the past she has fried so much of her brain and that is why she was so 'laid back' when told the kid got out. She just seems like someone who is not all their mentally. Probably wasn't before she started drinking or doping. I have a distant cousin like that. She was not all there before and once she started doing drugs it was all over. She has a couple of kids, but she is just 'gone' even now and she has not done drugs in over 5 years. She lives with her family and they make her take a drug test every month and if she tests positive she's out and they get custody of the kids. She's passed the test every month for 5 years, but you would think she was stoned or drunk the way she acts. It's sad.

A.Wood
01-02-2007, 05:49 PM
My stepdaughters little 2 year old half-brother wandered off while his mother slept. Luckily he a cop saw him before he ended up in the middle of our many busy intersections in Savannah. ugh! And they handed that poor child back to his so-called mother without incident. There is a reason she doesnt have custody of her oldest child, my stepdaughter! She also has a newborn son. I dont know how those two boys will survive. She is constantly drinking and on pills yet noone seems to care.

IndyLaw
01-03-2007, 02:04 PM
Apparently the "Mother of the Year" is being held without bond and will go before a judge tomorrow.
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070103/LOCAL/701030478

Here's her MySpace page - I think it explains many things. :banghead:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=87238611

curious1
01-03-2007, 03:34 PM
HA! She has Evanescene "Call Me When Your Sober" playing on her page. HA! Good one, if she's waiting for someone to call her when she's sober she'll be waiting a long time. What a total screwball.:bang:

curious1
01-03-2007, 03:38 PM
Okay, okay. Maybe that last post was a bit harsh. I just have no empathy today for folks like her. I am only hearing one side of the story, but I think I'm right in the opinion I have formed. Emphasis on 'opinion'.

Melisinde
01-03-2007, 03:47 PM
Maybe I'm misunderstanding something here... but a 2 year old. Unlocking a door. I don't do the kids thing but... I thought 2 year olds were short/small? They can REACH doorknobs??? How about a sliding chain up high then? I mean really. Am I crazy here or are 2 year olds bigger than I think they would be...

curious1
01-03-2007, 03:50 PM
Depends on the kid. My nephew is about to turn seven and he is almost to my shoulder and I am 5' 1". When he started walking my sister and her hubby had to install deadbolts with key locks. He would open the door and walk out.

IndyLaw
01-03-2007, 04:00 PM
Okay, okay. Maybe that last post was a bit harsh. I just have no empathy today for folks like her. I am only hearing one side of the story, but I think I'm right in the opinion I have formed. Emphasis on 'opinion'.

I don't think you're being a bit harsh. I'm very interested in what happens at tomorrow's hearing . . .

Amraann
01-03-2007, 04:14 PM
As the mother of an autistic child (now 12) I am going to take the flip side of this coin....

Dead bolts and alarms cost money.... money that I am guessing a single mother could not afford.
I am not saying this women was God's gift to motherhood but.... I challenge anyone of you to stay up ALL night EVERY night with an autistic child.
Which Is what I am guessing is going on at that house.
Maybe she did go get drugged up.....
And who could blame her?? The school system screws you, no pediatricain can help you .... YOU WALK ONE MILE IN THOSE SHOES ... then judge

Do you know what it is like to have a child break everything you own?
I absolutely cannot imagine Richie alone..... He would have broken my will long ago.
The issue here is not bad parenting but lack of support and help for the parents of disabled children.
Its always a fight.. Its tiring and takes more force of will then anyone outside of it will ever know.
BTW when Richie was little he use to pee in his toys....
Tony was at that poopie paint stage.... so daily I had to bleach the crib ...
So I wonder if you showed up at that exact moment ???

A.Wood
01-03-2007, 05:20 PM
My stepdaughter has behavioral and learning problems. Her mother cannot stand her, so she chooses not to see her. Her mother has a 2 year old and a newborn. Her two year old did get out of her apartment a few months back, this mother is on drugs. So we should go, "oh well the two year old is a handful its okay for her to be on drugs". The system must think the way you do, because it explains why so many children are handed over to their strung out parents.

Amraann
01-03-2007, 05:55 PM
My stepdaughter has behavioral and learning problems. Her mother cannot stand her, so she chooses not to see her. Her mother has a 2 year old and a newborn. Her two year old did get out of her apartment a few months back, this mother is on drugs. So we should go, "oh well the two year old is a handful its okay for her to be on drugs". The system must think the way you do, because it explains why so many children are handed over to their strung out parents.
The way I do?? OK, I am confused ....... think the way I do???
I ADORE my son. You simplified my answer to that of someone who has never been there.
My question is ... why on earth would you be married to someone who hates her own child?????
BTW .... Her mother hates her (your words not mine) due to societies limitations and her own ignorance and lack of emotional support.
MY reply was based upon the fact that life with a disabled child is stressful.
Based on your reply, you took it out of context.
I am saying this women could have been up all night every night, could not afford locks, has NO emotional support, is under educated about how to deal with a disabled child AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOOO WHERE FOR HER TO TURN.

jubie
01-03-2007, 06:00 PM
If she can afford a computer and internet access AND has time to burn at her MySpace site she can bloody well afford a $5.00 chain from Home Depot to keep her son at least in his own home. And the diaper that poor little girl is dragging along behind her is NOT from one night.


This is not a situation brought on this poor loving mother because she has an autistic child. Are there famillies out there that are being short changed because of children with special needs? You bet! But it is not a free pass when a parent or parents get busted for such apparent neglect.


Just have a peek at her MySpace to see how self absorbed this 'over exhausted poor mother' is. Makes me sick.

jubie
01-03-2007, 06:03 PM
The way I do?? OK, I am confused ....... think the way I do???
I ADORE my son. You simplified my answer to that of someone who has never been there.
My question is ... why on earth would you be married to someone who hates her own child?????
BTW .... Her mother hates her (your words not mine) due to societies limitations and her own ignorance and lack of emotional support.
MY reply was based upon the fact that life with a disabled child is stressful.
Based on your reply, you took it out of context.
I am saying this women could have been up all night every night, could not afford locks, has NO emotional support, is under educated about how to deal with a disabled child AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOOO WHERE FOR HER TO TURN.


Her charming MySpace makes it clear she's educated.

JanetElaine
01-03-2007, 06:19 PM
Hello... I've been reading on here for at least a year and finally signed up so I can post.... Forgive me for butting in, but Amraann, it did sound like you said it was okay for her to be on drugs...

Maybe she did go get drugged up.....
And who could blame her?? The school system screws you, no pediatricain can help you .... YOU WALK ONE MILE IN THOSE SHOES ... then judge
Not trying to speak for someone else, but I think that's kinda what A.Wood was referring to. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that, but I frowned when reading it, too. :)

I am getting 'worried' about her MySpace though... or rather the comments regarding it... I went there and checked it out, but I don't really see where it 'explains a lot', and she doesn't seem overly self-absorbed either. She does use very blunt language, but that sounds more like someone who's very sick of getting hurt and/or strung along - something that happens in the best families. I am not trying to defend her, but I don't get the commotion over her MySpace.... or maybe me and my sister are weirder than we think. :)

Sincerely,
JanetElaine

Amraann
01-03-2007, 06:25 PM
I do NOT want to be in the postion of defending someone who abused their child.. disabled or not....


I do want to make it clear that to have a child who consumes your life in ways that I cannot even explain could make it seem like abuse or neglect when in fact its not.
I cannot even fault her for the 20$ pr month for internet access.
I said 5$ for locks ..... its really much more ...unless you can install it yourself.
A chain would not work...... Richie would simply move furniture to unlock it and to those of you who say you would wake up????
NOT after a year of NO sleep you would not.

I do not want to defend this women ...but on the same token I feel that to judge her is wrong ......
I do not think I can make anyone who has not lived it understand....
Maybe she is a bad mother but maybe she is just exhausted and without help.

Amraann
01-03-2007, 06:36 PM
Hello... I've been reading on here for at least a year and finally signed up so I can post.... Forgive me for butting in, but Amraann, it did sound like you said it was okay for her to be on drugs...


Not trying to speak for someone else, but I think that's kinda what A.Wood was referring to. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that, but I frowned when reading it, too. :)

I am getting 'worried' about her MySpace though... or rather the comments regarding it... I went there and checked it out, but I don't really see where it 'explains a lot', and she doesn't seem overly self-absorbed either. She does use very blunt language, but that sounds more like someone who's very sick of getting hurt and/or strung along - something that happens in the best families. I am not trying to defend her, but I don't get the commotion over her MySpace.... or maybe me and my sister are weirder than we think. :)

Sincerely,
JanetElaine
I have not read her MySpace ...... Whatever this women vented online could be a total fabrication..
Again I do not want to defend her if she is wrong ...... But simply .... she was sleeping? the kids were a mess and wandered?
It could happen ....
Back 30 years ago it was a village ... people helped their neighbors ..
For that matter Dr's gave mom's valium and autistic children were put in institutions.

Swoodski
01-03-2007, 06:40 PM
I just saw this story. Awful. My guess is even if she was not drunk or stoned at the time she has been so many times in the past she has fried so much of her brain and that is why she was so 'laid back' when told the kid got out. She just seems like someone who is not all their mentally. Probably wasn't before she started drinking or doping. I have a distant cousin like that. She was not all there before and once she started doing drugs it was all over. She has a couple of kids, but she is just 'gone' even now and she has not done drugs in over 5 years. She lives with her family and they make her take a drug test every month and if she tests positive she's out and they get custody of the kids. She's passed the test every month for 5 years, but you would think she was stoned or drunk the way she acts. It's sad.

Curious, if a person is using Meth it only takes three days to clear your system for a urine test. You might pass info on to your family, just in case they have any future reason to think your cousin relapsed. (This is for a UA not a hair test.) Im so glad you've got family that will help her and hold her accountable.

jubie
01-03-2007, 06:44 PM
Hello... I've been reading on here for at least a year and finally signed up so I can post.... Forgive me for butting in, but Amraann, it did sound like you said it was okay for her to be on drugs...


Not trying to speak for someone else, but I think that's kinda what A.Wood was referring to. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that, but I frowned when reading it, too. :)

I am getting 'worried' about her MySpace though... or rather the comments regarding it... I went there and checked it out, but I don't really see where it 'explains a lot', and she doesn't seem overly self-absorbed either. She does use very blunt language, but that sounds more like someone who's very sick of getting hurt and/or strung along - something that happens in the best families. I am not trying to defend her, but I don't get the commotion over her MySpace.... or maybe me and my sister are weirder than we think. :)

Sincerely,
JanetElaine


Welcome to WS! :)

My point about her MySpace site is that if she has the time and resources for such activity surely she can change a diaper a little more often than say every other day and maybe secure her door a little better so her autistic son doesn't wander off-again.

It just really ticks me off seeing kids in situations like this.


Amraa, I don't know about Richies ability when he was two but surely a chain (yes about $5.00) could have prevented this little boy from getting out -again. I'm not talking fancy locks, a chain should be a no brainer.(Not that you're a no brainer, I mean this mom)

You are very clear about how frustrating it is to see famillies wihtout support, I get it, I understand and it really really sucks, I just don't see it as a free pass when a child is neglected.



Jubie

JanetElaine
01-03-2007, 06:56 PM
FWIW, I do agree with you, Amraann... as long as you were not really saying it would be okay for her to be on drugs. :)

I was a single mom of one healthy toddler and even that was hard. My parents lived close by, but they had their jobs too which would have them travelling a lot, so they could not be there all the time. Friends lived far away, as well. I remember I would get exhausted and sometimes nap when she was awake and playing... I'd always try to be awake but when you're exhausted, sometimes you can't stay awake no matter how hard you try.

However it always scared the heck out of me.... as soon as I'd wake up I'd be frantic until I knew she was alright. Which usually wasn't long (both the napping and the frantic part :)), because I had child-proofed my house beyond belief and she couldn't get into anything.

So the part I understand is that I very well too could have ended up with poopy walls (what if she soiled her diaper and decided to investigate the contents? Yikes....) and a child eating spaghetti off the floor (plates would sometimes still be sitting at the dining table when I fell asleep, she surely could have knocked them on the ground and had another bite). If people would have walked in on me then, they'd have probably thought I was a bad mother. I think (hope? ;)) most parents probably went through a day or moment like this.

BUT what I do not understand in this case, is where she doesn't even seem concered about the fact that her little boy was found wandering near/on the highway. I'd have been kicking and screaming to be allowed to hug and hold my child, and would have been crying my eyes out. Exhaustion does not excuse her obvious lack of concern about the situation, or relief about having her son back safely - any emotion, really.

I think people are not judging her home situation alone, but the totality of the picture - and even then I do not think most people on this thread have been harsh, as I have read many wishing the best to come from this, even for the mother. I hope this as well... because it does seem apparent that there is more going on than just exhaustion.

And I also do agree that there should be more help for families who do not have the resources of their own... I know I could have used some help, let alone parents with special needs children!

Amraann
01-03-2007, 07:39 PM
I want to say Welcome tooo....


I am questioning that this is the totallity of the situation.
This is one news article... Her reply??? to me screams overwelhmed tired mom.
I really meant to illustrate that her reply is likely programed to the BS she normally gets back. YOu just eventually lose the will to cope.

Jubie at age 2 Richie could solve any puzzle. He could easily figure out a chain lock and a means to reach it. Thus the reason for the bolted furniture in our house.
Anything less then a keyed deadbolt he could have undone. A keyed deadbolt costs money and the knowledge to install it along with a drill or the money to pay for installation.

Again I DO NOT want to defend this women for outright neglect.....
But ... based on one news article highlighting the worst of the situation (to sell papers) I just can see how a totally exhausted mom could sleep while the child wandered off and maybe the toddler had just woken up with a messy diaper (possibly raisins or corn eaten the night before?? remember those messes???)
So the toddler decides last nights spaghetti leftovers looks good.
PLEASE ..... Richie likes the cat food....

MY point about the resources is that legally they are suppose to be there for a disabled child but in reality they are not.

Maybe she needs a parenting class. I don't know.... But I am upset that the reporters were soooooo willing to highlight the bad mother she is without illustrating the resources needed or the difficulties she may have.

kgeaux
01-04-2007, 08:01 AM
I was listenig to Nancy Grace last night, and although Nancy was "Nancy" and perfectly willing to publically trash this mother, her panelists did offer a flip side to the coin.

Apparently this mom has very recently fled from an abusive relationship and only just moved into the apartment. Moving is very difficult. And moving alone with two toddlers, one of whom seems to be a precocious (spelled wrong?) escape artist has to have just taken all the energy this woman has.

PLUS she may be suffering from depression, don't you think? Her past circumstances make depession VERY probable. Her deep sleep, her inability to finish unpacking the boxes, her messy home, all symptoms of depression. She did TRY to keep the boy indoors, she shoved boxes up by the door to try to prevent his escape.

Honestly, she looked more depressed than strung out to me. I am not so willing to trash this young mother as some of you are. Geez, I guess there are just a couple of moms on this forum who have made made mistakes while raising their children....and I'm one of them.

Let's get the rest of the story before we jump down this mother's throat.

teonspaleprincess
01-04-2007, 08:37 AM
I can see how the woman would be depressed and overwhelmed. Caring for two toddlers is very stressful. I have four young children and I have been a single mother living in a battered women's shelters and out of hotels while we were running from my abuser so I could sympathize but none of my children ever had to walk around with a diaper like that. There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for that...it would have taken her all of 2 minutes to change the diaper.

lizzybeth
01-04-2007, 08:56 AM
I looked at the mother's myspace pics and am I understanding correctly that she has three other kids? There was a picture of two girls (they looked about ten and twelve) and then one of a boy who when the picture was taken about a year ago looked to be about thirteen (there was a comment about being a teenager). Where are these kids? Hopefully with someone that takes better care of them then their mother takes care of her other two.

Amraann
01-04-2007, 09:26 AM
The MySpace also has a comment from one of her friends that says she is in fact suffering from depression.
She was in the process of waiting for one of the fathers to come help her.
(According to the comment) The father was on his way up there to help her with the children.
So this women acknowledged that she was overwelhemed and was trying to seek help in order to ensure what is best for her children.

curious1
01-04-2007, 09:58 AM
Curious, if a person is using Meth it only takes three days to clear your system for a urine test. You might pass info on to your family, just in case they have any future reason to think your cousin relapsed. (This is for a UA not a hair test.) Im so glad you've got family that will help her and hold her accountable.
Thanks for the info. They keep a pretty close eye on her. She holds down a job and since her dad is retired he takes her to and from. She only goes to work and to social functions that are usually family related or have to do with her kids school. She doesn't seem to mind it too much, but then she is a bit out of it plus I think she likes the idea of not having to make choices for herself. I think she realizes she is just a 'weak' individual and without her parents running interference she would fall right back into her past lifestyle. Hopefully she will learn to stand on her own two feet, but as long as her parents live until her kids are grown and out of the house they will be okay. After that, she can do what she wants and not affect the kids too much, they are both smart and I am sure they will go to college and move out in the next 10 years and will do just fine without her. It's sad, but that's life.

curious1
01-04-2007, 10:16 AM
Looking back over the posts I guess we do sometimes sit in judgement of others. I realize this is just one newspaper article and I also realize just how wrong the press can get things either innocently or on purpose to sell papers so I am now going to withhold judgement until I read more about this.:silenced:

JanetElaine
01-04-2007, 10:34 AM
The mom has been charged with neglect:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,241319,00.html

Amraann and jubie, thank you for the welcome. :)

Amraann
01-04-2007, 11:07 AM
Thank you for the updatd link.


Since she was seeking help for her problems I am saddend that she is being charged.
I can't imagine the child had been diagnosed with autism for to long since most often symptoms do not occur until around the age of 19- 24 months.
It is said that parents who have a child diagnosed with cancer often fair better then those with a child diagnoised with autism.

Mr. E
01-04-2007, 11:54 AM
I didn't see where it said she was seeking help.

I can empathize with her situation, but I can't excuse what I saw on the video.

1) The mother was asleep and didn't know that her son was out. Okay, I can understand that the autism makes him able to get out easily and also fearless. So maybe some way of alarming the mother when the door opens? If she can't afford an alarm, some bells? An alarm clock so she knows to be up before 9:00 am. There was another child in the home who wasn't autistic; the mother should have been attending to that child, too.

2) There was food on the floor. Okay, maybe the toddler had gotten into food from the fridge or garbage, but again, why was the mother asleep? Why didn't she wake up when she heard her daughter rummaging for food? Why didn't the daughter indicate in some way (crying or asking) that she wanted food? Was it because she had been left alone to fend for herself before, and knew that the only way she'd eat would be to rummage?

3) The state of the toddler's diaper. To me, there is just no excuse for that. That is neglect. I know that you can't always change a diaper right away; diapers leak, but that diaper was almost to the floor. And where was the mom? Asleep.

4) The poop on the walls. Inexcusable. However it got there, by the autistic boy or his sister, the mother should have been awake to clean it up.

I know that she is probably very overwhelmed. Aside from the fact that the boy is autistic, they are two babies who need constant care, and that would be overwhelming for anybody. But that doesn't mean that those kids didn't have the right to be clean and safe in their own home. Everybody makes mistakes, but there was just too much going on in that apartment to make me think that it was just a case of an overwhelmed single mother.

Amraann
01-04-2007, 12:17 PM
I didn't see where it said she was seeking help.

I can empathize with her situation, but I can't excuse what I saw on the video.

1) The mother was asleep and didn't know that her son was out. Okay, I can understand that the autism makes him able to get out easily and also fearless. So maybe some way of alarming the mother when the door opens? If she can't afford an alarm, some bells? An alarm clock so she knows to be up before 9:00 am. There was another child in the home who wasn't autistic; the mother should have been attending to that child, too.

2) There was food on the floor. Okay, maybe the toddler had gotten into food from the fridge or garbage, but again, why was the mother asleep? Why didn't she wake up when she heard her daughter rummaging for food? Why didn't the daughter indicate in some way (crying or asking) that she wanted food? Was it because she had been left alone to fend for herself before, and knew that the only way she'd eat would be to rummage?

3) The state of the toddler's diaper. To me, there is just no excuse for that. That is neglect. I know that you can't always change a diaper right away; diapers leak, but that diaper was almost to the floor. And where was the mom? Asleep.

4) The poop on the walls. Inexcusable. However it got there, by the autistic boy or his sister, the mother should have been awake to clean it up.

I know that she is probably very overwhelmed. Aside from the fact that the boy is autistic, they are two babies who need constant care, and that would be overwhelming for anybody. But that doesn't mean that those kids didn't have the right to be clean and safe in their own home. Everybody makes mistakes, but there was just too much going on in that apartment to make me think that it was just a case of an overwhelmed single mother.
According to a Myspace posting by her friend she had sought help.
I am not yet ready to judge her for sleeping.
It is likely that her autistic son had been up all night, maybe she had finally gotten him to lay down and dozed her self.
That type of lack of sleep schedule could easily cause her to sleep through subtle noises.
It is possible that the two year simply had created that diaper in the night and or the mess on the wall. Also it should be considered that if the two year old pulled down a plate of food or took it out of the fridge she could have also spilled water or some other liquid on the floor and sat in it which would saturate a diaper and make it look like she had not been changed.
It was stated in the article that she had just moved to the apt. Possibly she had not had the oppurtunity to install or create some type of safety device?

Swoodski
01-04-2007, 12:20 PM
Read the "detox" info on her web site. There's been a drug issue with this girl whether she's using now or not. There's alot on her site to make anyone think she has had drug use history.

Im not condemming her for any drug use she may have participated in, I just know that if anyone gets too involved with Meth they have alot of similiar characteristics discussed on this thread.

Leaving the kids out of it for now, It may be a blessing in disquise that this girl has been arrested.

If she's using and depressed, she can detox and possibly get counseling while in custody.

Whether or not the drugs are involved, she had definately hit a rock bottom with her life. She's young and hopefully this terrible situation will help her find a new start in the future. Its going to be alot of work, so l will keep her in my prayers too.

Swoodski
01-04-2007, 12:25 PM
Just a little info on way I feel the way I do about the possible drug use. Im a Social Worker in here in my area Meth is being used so much. AND by every class, race or gender.

Ive personally seen two close friends who looked like soccer moms and NO ONE knew they were using. Their lives changed in just 2 years. One had her child taken by CPS and the other is serving 3 years in prison.

mssheila
01-04-2007, 12:28 PM
I'm not kidding when I say that this was my worst nightmare... I used to have bad dreams about my kids getting out of the house in the night, or something- and me not hearing them. I have two boys, not quite 11 months apart.. and they were VERY skilled at opening doors, cupboards, etc... from a really young age. So here's what I did. I locked the house down. I put things over the doorknobs that even adults had trouble using, I used chain locks up very high, I secured cupboards with dangerous things in them. I did everything I could think of, and when a new "situation" presented itself, I handled it in a manner where they just could not get into the dangerous area.

I did all that after being diagnosed with severe post-partum depression. But even though I was severely depressed, I knew that I had to keep my boys safe. I had NO support, no family- it was me and hubby (who works 60 hours a week- 6 days a week).

If this woman is depressed, I'm sorry to hear that, but I was depressed, and I NEVER saw a diaper like that on my kids.

Nocgirl
01-04-2007, 12:48 PM
I am glad she is being charged. Bottom line is, she has a hidtory of this, and if she cannot take car eof her kids and they are at risk if they stay with her, she should have put them in the temp. custody of somebody who can care for them.

Who are the kids staying with? Where is dad?

Mothers often get the upper hand in court and this woman is clear proof she is not the better parent just because she is the mother.

Amraann
01-04-2007, 01:07 PM
According the the friends MySpace post the father was on his way from Florida to help her with the kids because she was aware of how depressed she was.

Also as I stated above it is possible that the 2 Yo spilled something on the floor and sat in it thereby causing the diaper to look like it had not been changed.

southcitymom
01-04-2007, 01:19 PM
I'm with your thoughts on this one, Amraann. I've never seen a more defeated, overwhelmed looking woman in my life.

I have immeasurable resources - a strong constitution, no mental illness, financial security, a supportive involved partner and sweet kids with no disabilities - and I find raising children to be super tough. I can't imagine what it must feel like for this woman.

When I read about this case, I feel nothing but compassion for this family and a there-but-for-the-grace-of-God gratitude for myself.

southerngirl
01-04-2007, 01:45 PM
Read the "detox" info on her web site. There's been a drug issue with this girl whether she's using now or not. There's alot on her site to make anyone think she has had drug use history.

Im not condemming her for any drug use she may have participated in, I just know that if anyone gets too involved with Meth they have alot of similiar characteristics discussed on this thread.

Leaving the kids out of it for now, It may be a blessing in disquise that this girl has been arrested.

If she's using and depressed, she can detox and possibly get counseling while in custody.

Whether or not the drugs are involved, she had definately hit a rock bottom with her life. She's young and hopefully this terrible situation will help her find a new start in the future. Its going to be alot of work, so l will keep her in my prayers too.Her "detox" blog entry is about staying away from a relationship partner for 60 days to remove the addiction and to focus on strengthening the self and focusing on other positive aspects of life. It wasn't about detoxing from drugs.

Did anyone else catch that she is pregnant? Apparently by her boyfriend Richie who's been playing her and now wants to only be friends (she says she's been his whore). She alternates between terminating her parental rights of the child she's carrying and letting Richie raise his son versus letting Richie walk away and seeing his son when the boy is 18. She seems defeated, betrayed and hurt by men (haven't we all been, though?), and self-absorbed. At 30 she's stuck in that adolescent stage where she's pondering relationships ad nausem. With children I think you have to grow up quick and stop all the philosophical nonsense and take care of your children and the business of life. That said, I remember how utterly exhausted I was in the early months of pregnancy. Add in an autistic toddler and another toddler sibling close in age. Factor in poor coping skills, depression, apathy, lack of support, and being in a new city. Mix in personality weaknesses and alcohol use (admitted) and you have a recipe for disaster.

kgeaux
01-04-2007, 01:45 PM
According the the friends MySpace post the father was on his way from Florida to help her with the kids because she was aware of how depressed she was.

Also as I stated above it is possible that the 2 Yo spilled something on the floor and sat in it thereby causing the diaper to look like it had not been changed.


I am SO in agreement with you, Amraann. She was aware she had a problem, she was seeking help, and in the meantime, she had done what she could to try to prevent the little one from escaping.

I absolutely pity this mother. It looks as though she was doing all she could and help just did not arrive fast enough.

If anyone here has ever been dirt poor while your children were young, then I bet you know something I know. Cheap diapers are not of the same quality that nicer ones are.....it does not take much to make a cheap poor quality diaper sag all the way to the knees and beyond.

Amraann
01-04-2007, 01:45 PM
I do not want to give the impression that its ok these children live in such deplorable conditions.

I do not think that at all. I do think she asked for help and was in the process of trying to seek it.
I also think that the newspaper could easily make the situation seem much worse then it really was to those not familiar with having a disabled child.
I am not convinced that this was just bad timing.
I also think the story should illustrate the lacking resources for those with disabled children.
I know much has been made that she had the money for online access and time to blog on MySpace but I think everyone needs some down time.
I am not even saying hand the kids right back to her....
I am saying there is a difference between criminal neglect and abuse and someone who if given the help needed could be a good mother.
Like you said Southcitymom even in normal supportive circumstances parenting can be a challenge.
I am just not so sure that justice is served by charging this women with a felony.
Maybe that time, energy and money would be better placed helping her.

Even many pediatricians are of little help in helping parents with autistic children.

Amraann
01-04-2007, 01:52 PM
I am SO in agreement with you, Amraann. She was aware she had a problem, she was seeking help, and in the meantime, she had done what she could to try to prevent the little one from escaping.

I absolutely pity this mother. It looks as though she was doing all she could and help just did not arrive fast enough.

If anyone here has ever been dirt poor while your children were young, then I bet you know something I know. Cheap diapers are not of the same quality that nicer ones are.....it does not take much to make a cheap poor quality diaper sag all the way to the knees and beyond.

Your post reminded me of something else as well..
Having been young with young children and rather broke I recall trying to use up the last of the package of diapers even though my quickly growing toddler may had slightly outgrown it.
I do not mean size wise persay but I do recall a point when the diaper may have fit but was filled to quickly by the growing all the time eating toddler that within a matter of days it seemed that the next size up was required.
But darn it if I did not want to use up the last of the package.

teonspaleprincess
01-04-2007, 02:15 PM
According the the friends MySpace post the father was on his way from Florida to help her with the kids because she was aware of how depressed she was.

Also as I stated above it is possible that the 2 Yo spilled something on the floor and sat in it thereby causing the diaper to look like it had not been changed.I may be wrong but that did not look like she sat in liquid. It looked like her diaper was so full of poop and pee that it was weighing her down. And I have been a poor mother and used walmart or food lion diapers and they always worked just fine if you changed them when needed.

Jeana (DP)
01-04-2007, 02:57 PM
This female has absolutely no business being the sole guardian of any small children. If she's got some sort of mental issues or drug problems, she needs to deal with them before she gets these kids back.

Amraann
01-04-2007, 03:01 PM
Could she have sat in a puddle and then messed her diaper?
Within 15 or 20 minutes?

Or possibly messed then sat in a puddle..... It certainly would weigh down the diaper and make it appear sopping and like it had not been changed in a very long time. (Think of taking them to the beach and when their diaper gets wet)
IN the absence of severe diaper rash I would have to assume that was the case especially because she was said to have been eating.. so clearly she got into the food from somewhere.
Because if she were often left in a sopping messed diaper she would show signs of that.

Mr. E
01-04-2007, 03:35 PM
I haven't read the myspace site (I'm at work, where it's inaccesible). Sounds like the mother has a lot of problems and needs help. I hope she gets it.

I also hope the kids can now be well cared for. As far as the mom being charged, if her children were neglected she needs to be charged. It's the law, no matter what her circumstances. Sometimes it takes that kind of action to open a person's eyes and make them realize they really do need help.

I still can't excuse that diaper. I've seen kids at the pool in diapers that looked like they weighed 20 pounds, but they never looked that bad. I've seen kids with diarrhea who had messed their diapers and never looked that bad. That baby needed that diaper changed a long time before the woman had to have a police officer tell her to do it, and her failure to care enough to change it screams neglect to me.

In a perfect world, the mother will clean herself up, get the help she needs, find a support network, and get her kids back. We don't live in a perfect world, but there's always hope.

JanetElaine
01-04-2007, 03:42 PM
We don't live in a perfect world, but there's always hope.
I hope you mean there's hope for the world, too, Mr. E. and not just for this mother. The world needs to do some reaching out too, IMO. Lord knows way back when I tried, but even surrounded by neighbors nobody even asked how I was doing - and I know they were gossiping. They did, however, have no trouble finding me when I left my garbage can out 8 hours too long. :bang:

Mr. E
01-04-2007, 03:55 PM
I hope you mean there's hope for the world, too, Mr. E. and not just for this mother. The world needs to do some reaching out too, IMO. Lord knows way back when I tried, but even surrounded by neighbors nobody even asked how I was doing - and I know they were gossiping. They did, however, have no trouble finding me when I left my garbage can out 8 hours too long. :bang:
Honestly, if that woman was my neighbor I doubt I would have wanted to have anything to do with her, just based on her looks alone. It sounds awful, but I think I have a very suspicious nature. If I knew that she had two young kids, though, maybe it would be different. Knowing me, I probably would have called CPS if I thought even for a moment that the kids were in jeopardy.

I do have hope for the world (and the mother, and anybody who has ever made a mistake). But this world we live in today -- I think to many people are like me: too suspicious, too quick to make judgements, too untrusting. Just look at the topics on this board. How could you not be!?!

There was a family that lived in a trailer near us once with about 4 kids in the family. I was a stay-at-home mom with a kindergartener and a baby. My husband was a Ph.D candidate. We had very little money, and actually we were on welfare (food stamps and medicare). The family in the trailer constantly came to us asking to "borrow" a diaper or use the phone when theirs got cut off. I was very trusting, and I cared about the childrens' welfare (the parents were kind of weird). The family ripped us off. We found out they were stealing from us, and their "important" phone calls were long distance. I think that was the start of my distrustful nature.

kgeaux
01-04-2007, 03:56 PM
I may be wrong but that did not look like she sat in liquid. It looked like her diaper was so full of poop and pee that it was weighing her down. And I have been a poor mother and used walmart or food lion diapers and they always worked just fine if you changed them when needed.

I'm not talking about the diapers from Walmart! Those are relatively high quality. I'm talking about the ultra thin type from places like dollar stores.....they don't have that gel inside that absorbs the liquid.

IndyLaw
01-04-2007, 04:15 PM
Her trial has been set for February 28, and her public defender filed a demand for speedy trial. Judge refused to reduce her bond from $3500. She told the judge that she "did this to myself."

She is prohibited from any contact with the children. While this article doesn't indicate it, I learned from a different source that the children are with Ms. Dyer's father and stepmother.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10670529/detail.html

Marie
01-04-2007, 04:17 PM
Mom appears in court over toddler's highway romp (http://www.thetimesonline.com/articles/2007/01/04/updates/region_and_state/999b7486b18d7def86257259005de931.txt)

Police said at least half a dozen cars and a semitrailor swerved into other lanes to avoid the child.


February Trial Set for Mother of Wandering Toddler (http://www.wishtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5891312&nav=0Ra7)

Dyer is charged with four counts of felony child neglect.

Swoodski
01-04-2007, 07:27 PM
[QUOTE=southerngirl]Her "detox" blog entry is about staying away from a relationship partner for 60 days to remove the addiction and to focus on strengthening the self and focusing on other positive aspects of life. It wasn't about detoxing from drugs.]

The steps and stages she wrote about apply to drug detox too. Plus, who uses the term "detox" when getting over a guy?

Im not judging her drug use (or my opinion of her use). I truly hope she gets help "detoxing" from all the negatives in her life.

southcitymom
01-04-2007, 08:08 PM
[QUOTE=southerngirl]Her "detox" blog entry is about staying away from a relationship partner for 60 days to remove the addiction and to focus on strengthening the self and focusing on other positive aspects of life. It wasn't about detoxing from drugs.]

The steps and stages she wrote about apply to drug detox too. Plus, who uses the term "detox" when getting over a guy?

Im not judging her drug use (or my opinion of her use). I truly hope she gets help "detoxing" from all the negatives in her life.
I have not read her blog but I have definitely used the term detox to describe getting over a guy...some of them are like drugs, I swear! :rolleyes:

butterfly blue
01-05-2007, 06:21 AM
Mom appears in court over toddler's highway romp (http://www.thetimesonline.com/articles/2007/01/04/updates/region_and_state/999b7486b18d7def86257259005de931.txt)

Police said at least half a dozen cars and a semitrailor swerved into other lanes to avoid the child.


February Trial Set for Mother of Wandering Toddler (http://www.wishtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5891312&nav=0Ra7)

Dyer is charged with four counts of felony child neglect.


This whole story is so sad, I bet those 2 kids are missing their Mom, I hope they are with relatives, so that there is some normality in their lives. If that toddler hadn't wondered out, I just wonder would the Dad arrive from Florida & have sorted this mess out :(

southcitymom
01-05-2007, 08:21 AM
This whole story is so sad, I bet those 2 kids are missing their Mom, I hope they are with relatives, so that there is some normality in their lives. If that toddler hadn't wondered out, I just wonder would the Dad arrive from Florida & have sorted this mess out :(
I believe I read in one artcile that the kids are with relatives - maybe the Dad's parents...not entirely sure where I read this. Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

IndyLaw
01-05-2007, 09:59 AM
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070105/LOCAL1804/701050455

The children are with Ms. Dyer's father and stepmother. Turns out Damon is not autistic. The father and stepmother have already adopted Dyer's oldest child, a 15-year-old son. Two additional children live with their father in Florida. Dyer is pregnant with #6.

Interesting read.

southcitymom
01-05-2007, 10:08 AM
Thanks for the link - that is a good read. Her father sounds like he knows what she's up against. He sounds like he loves his daughter but knows she is not capable of being a good parent and his main concern is to take care of the children. I'm glad this happened if it sent the children to live with him.

teonspaleprincess
01-05-2007, 10:18 AM
I am so glad that the parents are not defending this so called mother. I hope that this gives those precious babies a chance at a real life and some happiness.

rayray
01-05-2007, 11:50 AM
[QUOTE=southerngirl]Her "detox" blog entry is about staying away from a relationship partner for 60 days to remove the addiction and to focus on strengthening the self and focusing on other positive aspects of life. It wasn't about detoxing from drugs.]

The steps and stages she wrote about apply to drug detox too. Plus, who uses the term "detox" when getting over a guy?

Im not judging her drug use (or my opinion of her use). I truly hope she gets help "detoxing" from all the negatives in her life.
Sorry if this was mentioned, but I got the impressions from her blog that the piece was from a book she had read. She did not write the piece herself. SOrry if I am mistaken

IndyLaw
01-05-2007, 11:58 AM
Her bond has been posted and she has been released.

Apparently she has decided to relinquish parental rights to Damon and Gabriel to her father.

First good decision she's made in quite some time, IMO.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070105/LOCAL/701050513

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10679111/detail.html

IndyLaw
01-05-2007, 12:59 PM
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701050513

It seems to me that by their inaction her family sent the message that Nancy should stay in jail. Thank goodness that her father and stepmother are spending their money on the children. And that she is prohibited from contact with the children.

Anyone think she'll go home and clean her apartment?????

teonspaleprincess
01-05-2007, 02:21 PM
Hmmm...nope, she will probably go home and get a nap.

JanetElaine
01-05-2007, 02:44 PM
Wow.... her father sounds like an awesome person. So glad he's not trying to defend her actions. I agree with everything the man said, and I hope the children will have a lot of good stuff coming yet. I also hope that Nancy can get her life straightened around... it isn't too late for her either.

mfmangel1
01-05-2007, 06:01 PM
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070105/LOCAL1804/701050455

The children are with Ms. Dyer's father and stepmother. Turns out Damon is not autistic. The father and stepmother have already adopted Dyer's oldest child, a 15-year-old son. Two additional children live with their father in Florida. Dyer is pregnant with #6.

Interesting read.

Very interesting read!

Nancy Dyer is now pregnant with child number 6....Even though she was not able to care for her prior children.
The oldest has been adopted by his grandparents, the next two are being raised by their father.
Now she is giving up parental rights to Damon and Gabrielle. I thought the father of Damon and Gabrielle was on his way to take care of the children. Nancy states on her myspace acct. that she wanted the father to take care of them.Where is he now?
She also stated that she was willing to either keep child #6 away from the father of that child or give the child up to him to raise, depending on his decisions about certain things.
Does this woman have any emotional, loving, maternal connection with her children at all?
I have to wonder where her bio mom is.

AND this woman is the beneficiary to a $250,000.00 trust fund.
I HAVE to wonder how that came about!

Amraann
01-06-2007, 11:57 AM
I read the article .... The father of Nancy is not sure the child is autistic.

But it should be noted that people from his generation would deny autisim because it had a certain stigma associated with it.
I am done defending her in light of recent articles and 5 children ...3 she does not have custody of.
I do question why ... if her father knew she was not capable... did he leave the children there??
Now he says he knew?? Spare me...
Anyone who leaves a child in a bad situation is just as guilty as the parent who caused it.

txsvicki
01-07-2007, 05:57 AM
Her "detox" blog entry is about staying away from a relationship partner for 60 days to remove the addiction and to focus on strengthening the self and focusing on other positive aspects of life. It wasn't about detoxing from drugs.

Did anyone else catch that she is pregnant? Apparently by her boyfriend Richie who's been playing her and now wants to only be friends (she says she's been his whore). She alternates between terminating her parental rights of the child she's carrying and letting Richie raise his son versus letting Richie walk away and seeing his son when the boy is 18. She seems defeated, betrayed and hurt by men (haven't we all been, though?), and self-absorbed. At 30 she's stuck in that adolescent stage where she's pondering relationships ad nausem. With children I think you have to grow up quick and stop all the philosophical nonsense and take care of your children and the business of life. That said, I remember how utterly exhausted I was in the early months of pregnancy. Add in an autistic toddler and another toddler sibling close in age. Factor in poor coping skills, depression, apathy, lack of support, and being in a new city. Mix in personality weaknesses and alcohol use (admitted) and you have a recipe for disaster.


I have no patience for women who get themselves on drugs when they have children. This woman has been a parent for 15 years already. When I was 30 I had a newborn born by C section, a toddler, 2 other kids, a husband who had just been disabled in an accident when I was 8 months pregnant. In fact, we both got out of the hospital on the same day and I had no help at all and was able to make it through it all without any neglect. Anyone with a brain could get their self straightened out and take care of their children. Now that I am still raising kids, grandkids due to drugs, I just hate to hear of even more grandparents having to take on the responsibility due to drugs.

southcitymom
01-07-2007, 09:10 AM
I have no patience for women who get themselves on drugs when they have children. This woman has been a parent for 15 years already. When I was 30 I had a newborn born by C section, a toddler, 2 other kids, a husband who had just been disabled in an accident when I was 8 months pregnant. In fact, we both got out of the hospital on the same day and I had no help at all and was able to make it through it all without any neglect. Anyone with a brain could get their self straightened out and take care of their children. Now that I am still raising kids, grandkids due to drugs, I just hate to hear of even more grandparents having to take on the responsibility due to drugs.Though I definitely understand your point of view, I need to weigh in. As a recovering drug addict who had many years clean, the birth of my second child found me scurrying back to heavy drug use for a number of reasons. Having children is extraordinarily stressful - oftentimes people given to using chemicals to relieve stress turn back to that coping mechanism during stressful times.

It's simple to say people who have a drug addiction problem shouldn't have children, but individuals have individual paths. I didn't start using after my first child was born and had no reason to believe I would after my second one was born. But I did - such is often the nature of addiction.

I have a bit of of a brain - I'm college-educated and have owned my own business for ten years - but I was absolutely unable to straighten myself out at that time in my life. In fact, I was convinced that I was a better mother on drugs than off them. Again, such is the nature of addiction and I do not expect anyone who hasn't personally struggled with drug addiction to "get" it.

There just aren't any simple black and white answers.

I am not trying to defend this woman. I don't even know if she is a drug addict though I have my suspicions! But I wanted to offer my perspective of a woman who "got herself on drugs when she had children."

IndyLaw
01-08-2007, 01:14 PM
This was from Sunday's paper. Dyer gave an interview to the Indianapolis Star.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701070440

And today she's changed her mind.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770108040

mfmangel1
01-08-2007, 01:33 PM
This was from Sunday's paper. Dyer gave an interview to the Indianapolis Star.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701070440

And today she's changed her mind.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770108040Absolutely unbelievable!

I previously questioned where the father is that was supposedly on his way from Fla. to take care of his children. What has happened to him?

Dyer is thinking of no one, but herself. She thinks taking the children from loving relatives and throwing them into foster care is really best for the children?

I can not believe she is giving interviews and making statements such as
her life is over and that she will never have a decent job, etc....Oh poor me!

She states her children are her world. Right!!!! We can tell!!!! Not! :behindbar

GMAB! She needs to grow up!

I still wonder how she is the beneficiary of a $250,000.00 trust. Unreal!

southcitymom
01-08-2007, 03:11 PM
I don't know much about social services/foster care. Can anyone explain to me why the kids need to go from their grandparents into the foster system in order for the mother to retain (or win back) custody?

IndyLaw
01-09-2007, 02:36 PM
I don't know much about social services/foster care. Can anyone explain to me why the kids need to go from their grandparents into the foster system in order for the mother to retain (or win back) custody?

From what I understand, her father and stepmother all already licensed foster parents with the state. If Nancy were to have signed away her parental rights, her father and stepmother could either have retained the children as foster parents or chosen to adopt them. Without termination of parental rights and the mother's desire to fight to keep them, the children are wards of the state until a determination can be made. Since her father's health is a concern, they are unable to care for them. The article at the link below talks about Nancy's stepsister having flown here from Germany to adopt Damon and Gabrielle.

Another interesting quirk about this is that Nancy herself posted on several Indianapolis Star message boards over the past 48 hours to "explain" her position. Her stepsister has also posted. If you want to read these, click at the link at the bottom of each article. Each article has a different "comments" board. Nancy posted as "Rush to Judgment" and her stepsister posted as "Set Record Straight."

A most unusual situation, to say the least.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701090377

southcitymom
01-09-2007, 10:52 PM
From what I understand, her father and stepmother all already licensed foster parents with the state. If Nancy were to have signed away her parental rights, her father and stepmother could either have retained the children as foster parents or chosen to adopt them. Without termination of parental rights and the mother's desire to fight to keep them, the children are wards of the state until a determination can be made. Since her father's health is a concern, they are unable to care for them. The article at the link below talks about Nancy's stepsister having flown here from Germany to adopt Damon and Gabrielle.

Another interesting quirk about this is that Nancy herself posted on several Indianapolis Star message boards over the past 48 hours to "explain" her position. Her stepsister has also posted. If you want to read these, click at the link at the bottom of each article. Each article has a different "comments" board. Nancy posted as "Rush to Judgment" and her stepsister posted as "Set Record Straight."

A most unusual situation, to say the least.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007701090377
Thanks..it is a strange case.

Amraann
01-10-2007, 02:10 PM
The Step sister is not defending her... However, the father of the children also posted and he is defending her.

2sisters
01-10-2007, 02:27 PM
I hope she never sees the kids again. how would she like to sit in her own waste for days. I seriously doubt if the baby sat in something. The police I am sure know the difference between that and a diaper bursting with doodie.

Bobbisangel
01-12-2007, 03:54 AM
I hope she never sees the kids again. how would she like to sit in her own waste for days. I seriously doubt if the baby sat in something. The police I am sure know the difference between that and a diaper bursting with doodie.



I hope that she never gets them back. Good grief...her oldest son lives with the grandparents....the next two kids live with their dad...these little ones should be adopted out and the baby taken away right after it is born.

If the state does give her a second chance they better stay right on top of her. They should make it part of her CPS plan to take parenting classes, living skills, and anything else that would teach her how to take care of her children and herself....clean a house...cook...etc. They should make house visits without calling first and on different days of the week....surprise visits. The state should be held accountable for keeping those kids safe if they give them back to her.

IndyLaw
02-03-2007, 06:13 PM
The mother of a 3-year-old found wandering on I-465 was freed from Marion County Jail on Friday after someone posted her bond, records show.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070203/LOCAL/70203002

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10922313/detail.html

JanetElaine
02-04-2007, 12:17 AM
I hope that she never gets them back. Good grief...her oldest son lives with the grandparents....the next two kids live with their dad...these little ones should be adopted out and the baby taken away right after it is born.Bobbisangel, with all due respect, but you put the kids living with their dad in the same sum-up of 'bad' places for kids to live. Bad as in, it's the mom's fault, I don't know, can't find the right words LOL. Hope you know what I mean, though. The two living with their father should be left out of the equation IMO, because they live with a parent, their father. I know of many kids who live with their father and their moms ain't bad moms at all. I also lived with my grandparents for a while when I was little and my mom picked up the pieces of life after an abusive husband, and she wasn't (and isn't) a bad mom at all. The kids living where they live isn't an indication IMO about how fit of a mother she is. I'm still not sure about this case.

teonspaleprincess
07-11-2007, 12:17 AM
http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/0710/neglect_ap.html

"Dyer admitted in court before her bench trial was to start that she had been sleeping about 9 a.m. the day her son was found on the highway and that she knew the boy could get out of their apartment. She pleaded guilty to three of four counts against her of neglect of a dependent.
Prosecutor Carl Brizzi said his office would seek a two-year prison term for Dyer when she is sentenced Aug. 20. He said it was just happenstance that the boy was not hurt"

More at link

cenasangel
07-11-2007, 02:44 AM
HANG ON........

First im the mother of a 5 year old Autistic boy with severe behaviour problems and social issues. He is an absconder and has escaped from his daycare center on several occasions. The finger of blame can only be pointed so far in this case. I'm not responsable for what goes on in his brain when he decides to have a violent episode, absconds from a fully inclosed yard or the bite marks and bruises that i'm forced to hide day after day. Id say neither is this lady ??. Maybe she was so overcome with caring for her son she simply had no time to do anything like house work or devote extra time to the other children ?? Maybe she was scared to ask for help and support because of fear she would be CONDEMMED or BLAMED for the boys behaviour or maybe she thought there was no point because no one would UNDERSTAND anyways. Maybe she did not have the funds to access the type of help he needed. At the end of the day noone knows what sort of a nightmore it is until your actually living so so please don't judge or condemm unless you are living it or have been there.

SadieMae
07-11-2007, 03:58 AM
This child was only 3, and was neglected. It shouldn't make any difference how tired or overwhelmed she was, or if the child is autistic. The child's welfare and safety is her responsibility. If she couldn't handle it then she should have checked into other options or available help. There was NO excuse for the filth they found in her apartment. My Aunt raised 8 kids, all no more than 2 years apart. Her home was always spotless and she worked full time. 2 years is letting her off easy IMO, her child could have been killed. She should also never regain custody of them.

cenasangel
07-11-2007, 04:51 AM
Well your allowed to say that.... your not living in my shoes or hers. You have no idea the burden and weight that carries.

On any regular day i can have 3-4 bite marks and bruises on my arms and legs. Thats just getting him dressed and fed in the mornings. He also has smashed up most of the furniture in his room plus other assorted items around the house. He also has tantrums last 5-6 hours which often does require being physicaly restrained so he does not hurt himself and his siblings.

Like i said maybe she did not have the funds to aquire help for him or maybe it was simply a case of help not being accessable to her. Support is very hard to find when your living in a situation like ours. Your constantly in fear of being blamed for behaviour and situations that is BEYOND anyones control. Theres to many people out there ready to condem but not enough to actually go lend support when it's needed.

p.s So am i to understand that i'm responsable everytime he escapes from daycare even though i'm physicaly not even there at the time ??

Diamond
07-11-2007, 05:38 AM
Shouldn't he be supervised, especially since it's a known problem? I truly can imagine how difficult it would be, I'm not saying it's easy by any stretch. It's just that he can't help it (he wouldn't chose this if he had a choice), so the adults need to look out for him and make sure it doesn't happen.

cenasangel
07-11-2007, 06:16 AM
Yeah but you can only be vigilant to a point..... he has never escaped whilst his at home but you can't be hovering all of the time. You do need to do things like sleep and go to the toilet.

This little boys demands may have been so great she might not have even been able to do that much.

zadari
07-11-2007, 09:33 AM
Well your allowed to say that.... your not living in my shoes or hers. You have no idea the burden and weight that carries.

On any regular day i can have 3-4 bite marks and bruises on my arms and legs. Thats just getting him dressed and fed in the mornings. He also has smashed up most of the furniture in his room plus other assorted items around the house. He also has tantrums last 5-6 hours which often does require being physicaly restrained so he does not hurt himself and his siblings.

Like i said maybe she did not have the funds to aquire help for him or maybe it was simply a case of help not being accessable to her. Support is very hard to find when your living in a situation like ours. Your constantly in fear of being blamed for behaviour and situations that is BEYOND anyones control. Theres to many people out there ready to condem but not enough to actually go lend support when it's needed.

p.s So am i to understand that i'm responsable everytime he escapes from daycare even though i'm physicaly not even there at the time ??
no and i dont think parents should be held accountable for situations when they cant be with thier kids . that is a pet peeve of mine when i see people blaming the mother right away . my family used to pick at me like that .but only my mother actually ever helped me . i didnt do drugs i didnt party i didnt even get myself new clothes ...i worked hard and bought food toys and clothes for my kid. i feel i am a good mother but im far from perfect . no parent can watch thier kids ALL the time .they are sneaky lol.. granted there are ways to keep your kids from getting into cupboards or going outside though .but they sometimes can get around that stuff depending on thier age and other factors..

cenasangel
07-11-2007, 06:32 PM
Yes thats right....... my sons school freind died in January after using the trampoline to scale the fence then climbed into the local river and drowned. He was obssessed with water and despite swimming lessons paid for by the school he died. They knew with the way his behaviour was that he was not going to live much past his 5th birthday and he didn't but thats not their fault it's what he was born with.

wildTrose
07-11-2007, 06:47 PM
This is one woman who needs to be ordered to be sterilized!!

Opie
07-11-2007, 08:56 PM
Slightly off topic here, but cenasangel, please come over and post with us on the Autism thread in the Jury Room. Lots of good info there and perhaps you can add to the fund of knowledge there. You are by no means alone in your situation. Many of us do understand.

IndyLaw
09-18-2007, 11:09 AM
One year in prison, one year home detention and a year of probation.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/14140078/detail.html

2sisters
09-18-2007, 01:34 PM
PLEASE, someone tell this woman about birth control. She should have served a year for each year each child spent with her being neglected.

SadieMae
09-18-2007, 02:13 PM
One year!!!! That's All????????!!!

IndyLaw
09-18-2007, 02:21 PM
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070918/LOCAL/709180433

Apparently she gave birth AGAIN last month and that child is in the care of a guardian.

A friend who was in the courtroom this morning tells me that Dyer's 16-year-old son wrote a letter to judge urging that his mother be given jail time.

Very telling indeed.

SadieMae
09-18-2007, 02:24 PM
OMG! She had ANOTHER one???!!

IndyLaw
09-18-2007, 02:25 PM
OMG! She had ANOTHER one???!!

Yeah, it was mentioned that she was pregnant again at the time of her initial arrest, but strangely enough no other info about the pregnancy made it into the media during her previous court appearances.

I can't even find words to describe how I feel about this person. :bang:

philamena
09-18-2007, 02:28 PM
She only gets one year AND she had another child. :doh::banghead::loser::furious:
She should be neutered and sentenced for 18 years for child abandonment and child neglect. After 18 years the children will legally be adults able to care for themselves.

sherri79
09-18-2007, 03:00 PM
amazing isnt it. she has 6 kids total. woman out there who would do any thing for a baby including die to protect it and they can not get pregnant and this lady pops them out like a pez dispenser. life just aint fair.