Link to Rose's Letters/Disscussion of Letters

[christine2448]

Rose wrote letters to her family, the last communications with her can be viewed here.

Yanette (Rose's SIL) posted this up in one place for viewing. (I started to post them here, the actual letters, but it takes up a lot of space)


Nov 17, 1972 (http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/yannette0469@sbcglobal.net/album?.dir=fb4a&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/yannette0469@sbcglobal.net/my_photos)

Dec 13, 1972 (http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/yannette0469@sbcglobal.net/album?.dir=ee68&.src=ph)

[christine2448]

Taken from Thread #1, posted by HOT

The SIL said she only had the envelope from one of the letters mailed from Synanon. From what I'm gathering, Rose's father was the one who had all of this information. When he died, the rest of the family finally had a chance to look through it. But, to answer your question, there were no envelopes with the letters after she left Synanon.

[iNTERESTEDWOMAN]

Here is a transcript of last letter in possession of Rose's family this was originally transcribed by her sister-in-law and posted by Heart of Texas, this letter is not included in the above links. I don't think a picture was ever posted of it.

Okay, here's the letter. It's very long and very sad and I doubt it's going to fit in one post. Here goes...


3:00 AM December 23, 1972

[It’s almost been a whole stinking, lousy year!]


[Sorry but I just got a stamp! ~ Feb 3, 1973]



Dear Mom,

I love you, oh mom what am I going to do! I can’t sleep no more at nites, I wake up from dreams, that leaves me frights.

I dream of you, and Daddy and Billy and Pose, and Jesse and Norma, I know its weird and sounds silly! I dream of being home, but wake up, and what happens, I’m all alone!

I am so scare out here,
I don’t like the atmosphere!
I walk the streets,
Oh God, if you knew the people I met.
Mom, I wanna come home,
Please understand, please!

If I thought you loved me, it would
put me being uptight, to ease!
Mom, I don’t know what to do!
All I can think of is you!
Mom, have you ever been lonely,
didn’t have no family to go to,
because they all hate you! Walk
streets, wondering what street to
take, know you don’t care, because
at least you’ll be going
somewhere, and whatever street
what difference does it makes.

I listen to different songs,
most make me feel like I don’t
belong. I feel so sad and blue,
I just want to make you guys
love me, as much as I love
you. I wish I could make you
see. Love me! Please, Mom,
Please love me! Oh God
love me, love me! please
love me! I can even go
to sleep at nites no-more. I
dream of one time, I was
walking down the street with my
suitcases, and Jesse and James
Hamilton was getting ready to
Get on the bus to Michigan and
I saw him, and I dropped my
suitcase, and I was so happy to
see him, and was crying, and
ran up to just hug him, and
I yelled Jesse, and he turned
Around and saw me, and I
Was getting ready to hug him, and
He said I hate you, Rose , I
hate your guts. He said don’t
ever come home again,
you’ve caused enough trouble,
and we all hate your guts so much,
we don’t ever want to here from you.

Then he got on the bus and looked
out the window, and I just stare at
him, and cried so hard, I didn’t think
I had anymore tears, and he just sat at
the window and cracked up laughing,
then mudged James and said something,
and James and Jesse waved there hand,
like get away you no – good Brad, and
they laughed and laughed.



I have a lot dream of the baby. I dream
of playing with him. I dreamed one time,
that I have to come home and Daddy was
the only one there, you guys was at Billy’s
and me and Daddy hugged, and kiss and stuff.
I was so glad to see him, and he took me where
you guys were at and I couldn’t wait to get inside.


I got out of the car and ran inside, and Pose was
looking out the door, and he opened it, and said
Rose you’re home finally, and we hugged and
Pose yelled, Rose is home and you came running
out and we hugged and hugged and we cried. And
then Norma came and said Rose I missed you so
much, I can’t wait to call Claire, and we hugged,
and then I said where’s Billy, because he’s who I
wanted to see so much. And you said he went to
pick up the baby, so then sat, and I never, felt so
good in my life, never. To bad it was only a dream.


Too bad, then I heard the car outside. I looked
out the window, and I saw Billy carry a big fat
baby in a bunch of blankets, then I don’t know
why but I was so happy, I mean righteously happy,
tears just poured and poured, and then I ran to the
door, and you said, Rose, take it easy, sit down in
the kitchen, and don’t let him know you’re here.
He came in and took the baby and said where’s Rose?
I ran to him and hugged and he said your finally home.
I didn’t want to let go and I heard the baby cry. I reached
out to him and he wanted me. It was like he loved me
and as I held him he smiled. We had dinner and I
never wanted to leave. I love everyone so much.


I woke up and then I tried to get back to sleep. But it was gone, what I wouldn’t do to have another dream like that. Now all I ever dream is you guys laughing at me. If you guys hate me all I can say is I don’t blame you. I understand but I just want you to know I love you. I’m used to going off by myself and crying, and it’s not hard for me.

Here’s a poem for you.


Stars! Stars are bright,
Stars give off light.
Stars make your love scene bright.
Stars shine and look brand new.
They refuse to come out when the sky’s blue!
They must like the night black.
Must bring good memories back.
I love the stars.
They get attention even though they are so far.


With all my love, your daughter, R. L. C



It’s not much, I know, but it’s a little.
Mom I wish I could get you guys to love me.
Give a hoot, don’t pollute!


Today’s my birthday,
so what is all I can say.


I’m 16 but I’m the same sad and cold.


I’m to blame I look like I did before.


Like I got hit in the face with a door.


I walk like I did before inherited it, my Mom’s to blame.


I don’t yet have strength,

my feet have the same length.


My legs are long, my stomach’s in outer space.


They need to belong, same old neck and ears.


Lonely tears and I live the way it appears.


In this funky big atmosphere.


God why can’t anyone see I’m not living.


I’m dying.


There’s all kinds of people mean and cruel.


Too bad we can’t combine.


Understanding and kindness would keep you happy.


Never push you from behind.


Lonely people I respect,


I consider myself a lonely aspect.


Black and white wanting to fight.


High class trip disrespect.


Might consider themselves one of us.


Why can’t they make one more friend?


Here I am in here, feeling sad and blue.

Drinking water wondering what to do.


Feel the walls creep close to me?


They don’t want me to be.


I’m the only one there,


room’s full of chatter and laughter.


Why does it always have to happen to me?


Maybe it’s something in me that you see and hate.


Why can’t they see I want to be understood.


Push me away because I’m shy.


That’s what they think,


don’t understand why.


Rose Cole

[christine2448]

Post # 52, thread one, Heart of TX

Here is Rose's last letter. I tried to preserve her writing style, meaning every comma, and hard space. But gave up after a while.

Letter details:
It was written on her birthday Dec 23, 1972 but mailed Feb 3, 1973 because she didn't have a stamp
A year has passed since she left to California
She describes her life in living in the streets
She can sleep ~ nightmares
Her letters have not been answered, this one is address to her Mom, the other ones where to her siblings
She talks about a baby. Billy had a baby at 19 with his girlfriend at the time~ not married ~ a lot of stress around that at home (Billy the oldest child, step brother ~ everyone including my husband loves BIlly best ~ he stood up to his stepfather Jesse Joseph and protected the other kids from bullies at school ~
Norma and Opal are the youngest ones, when the judge sentenced her, he said that he couldn't sent her home because there were two small kids (Pose & Norma) that she would put at risk
She asks for Norma's forgiveness (maybe from the letter to Pose)
She doesn't like her looks, she feels she looks like her real Mom, Willie
she talks about poor and rich people, it may be a stretch but maybe people with money ~ able to pay for prostitution?????
She want to be love, and feels guilt which is normal under the circumstances but she talks very nicely about her Dad. I find that strange! Given the fact he is the only one with access to the letters, maybe he had a heart after all.
This is a stretch but he might have contacted her after this or any other available letters that we don't know about to appear in court in Michigan.

I am a very slow typer ~ I really suck at it ~ Next letter coming up!

[Shadow205]

Was it on the post card that she said she was living in China Town with some people who thought that she was 19? Is that also when she talked of being sick with maybe a kidney infection?

[christine2448]

Was it on the post card that she said she was living in China Town with some people who thought that she was 19? Is that also when she talked of being sick with maybe a kidney infection?


Why don't we have a copy of the postcard??

I have a telephone 'meeting' scheduled with Yannette tonight...just tried to call, no answer...I may be early..hopefully she will call me back :)

[christine2448]

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y171/christine2448/post2.jpghttp://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y171/christine2448/postcard-1.jpg

Shadow and I are in a Yahoo conference with Brenda, sister of Rose, and Yannette, SIL to Rose.....we have finally gotten our hands on Rose's last communication.

[christine2448]

Shadow and I spent some time in chat and via tele w/family tonight.

We have notes...but it's late and will try to organize and post tomorrow.

There is another card from Rose, no date.

[iNTERESTEDWOMAN]

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y171/christine2448/post2.jpghttp://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y171/christine2448/postcard-1.jpg

Shadow and I are in a Yahoo conference with Brenda, sister of Rose, and Yannette, SIL to Rose.....we have finally gotten our hands on Rose's last communication.


Is there a better pic of the post card? It's really small and even magnetized you can't read the chopped off ends. I can't make the post mark out at all. Hopefully you have it somewhere else to view

[iNTERESTEDWOMAN]

Shadow and I spent some time in chat and via tele w/family tonight.

We have notes...but it's late and will try to organize and post tomorrow.

There is another card from Rose, no date.

I've searched everywhere for this info you where going to post, I can't find it. Could you tell me what thread it is in? Thanks

[iNTERESTEDWOMAN]

Oh...FYI, Yahoo Photos, (where Yanette has the photos and letters of Rose) is shutting down and will discontinue to exist on Sept 20. She / You might want to move them to a permanent new location

[christine2448]

Oh...FYI, Yahoo Photos, (where Yanette has the photos and letters of Rose) is shutting down and will discontinue to exist on Sept 20. She / You might want to move them to a permanent new location

Hiya! I emailed Yannette to let her know when the notice went out, thanks a heap, just in case we missed it...I'll send her a reminder.

I need to look for those notes, I may have never done it. (like the timeline)

Sometimes you just have to smack me in the head!

[iNTERESTEDWOMAN]

After reading Rose's Letters again on the Hot on the Trail Blog, (Which are much easier to read) I have come to the conclusion that Rose was smoking pot at the time she wrote the 3rd Letter dated December 15, 1972. This was the letter written to Opal on yellow legal paper, to inform her she had split the Synanon. It has several burn holes in the first 2 papers, (4 pages). Knowing a few (okay a lot) of stoners in my old days, the burn holes are consistent with hand rolled joints. They are rolled much looser than a regular cigarette and tend to drip burning embers often. I know her Dad smoked cigarettes because in the picture of him you can see the outline of a pack in his shirt pocket, so I had originally thought maybe the pages got burned when he was reading it. (I couldnt really see them well) But on the top of page 3, Rose doodles around one of the holes so they where obviously there when she mailed them.

I know the jury is still out on wether Rose really did drugs, or just claimed to have out of a smartalic remark to the Judge.

Anyway, this letter makes me believe she did have at least a partial problem with drugs, and the rambling in the letter are very consistent with a teen girl smoking pot. It also leads me to believe she did hook up (at least temporarily) with another cult, (such as PT, Hare Krishna-sub culture, Heavens Gate etc.) where she was being sheltered, and where they openly shared and smoked pot. She obviously had no money (to buy it) because all her belonging where taken. Some one gave it to her, (or she "worked" for it).