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snapdragon
04-18-2009, 04:08 AM
http://www.tracypress.com/pages/full_story?article-Huckaby%20told%20friends%20she%20was%20raped%20=&page_label=results_content&id=2341927-Huckaby+told+friends+she+was+raped&widget=push&open=&

Perhaps another pathological lie?

paperwing
04-18-2009, 04:36 AM
there are lots of details in this article, none of which seem to correlate with any significance:

At age 18, her heart was broken.
She didn't make the dance team.
Her best friend went to college.
She didn't get along with her family.

This is not a "downward spiral" - these are normal (if uncomfortable) events in the life of many, many (perhaps most) 18 year olds!

What does this have to do with her telling her friends she was raped? Did her "downward spiral" cause her to be raped? Did the rape cause all these bad things to happen - things that (with different details) nearly all teenagers deal with, often at the same time and often at the end of high school?

I don't see the correlation here, but maybe I'm missing something...

I don't doubt the statements of these friends, but the rape incident seems to need some formal verification - like a name or a location or any other definitive detail. If it was a police officer, MH ought to be able to offer a name, description or something probative in order for LE to follow up. Even so, being raped doesn't automatically make someone kill, so what purpose does this info serve and who does it benefit? This is so vague one has to wonder who assumes benefit from this rumor.

The fact that each of these witnesses were told separately or don't know each other doesn't seem relevant. I don't doubt their truthfulness - I doubt the relevance/veracity of what they may have been told. This needs verification, that's all. MH can provide that (my guess is she won't ID the officer, but I could be wrong).

QNA
04-18-2009, 05:46 AM
Being raped I would imagine would be a very traumatic ordeal with long lasting complications. I don't think the rape itself had any direct bearings on Melissa's alleged actions but it might have been part of the her psychological make up at the time. Depression, failed relationships, a failed marriage, being in trouble with the law and being an out of work single mother all have their parts in that "make up" as well.

The fact that she allegedly used to cut herself tells me she was definately dealing with some painful personal issues. I've read that cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear, or bad situations they think can't change. And cutting is more common than most people think.

Of course none of this means she is prone to torture, rape and murder another human being. A lot of people today suffer the same afflictions and cope with it.

doubletrouble
04-18-2009, 06:10 AM
http://www.tracypress.com/pages/full_story?article-Huckaby%20told%20friends%20she%20was%20raped%20=&page_label=results_content&id=2341927-Huckaby+told+friends+she+was+raped&widget=push&open=&

Perhaps another pathological lie?

im sorry...i still have no pity..true or not... we have all had some type of "trauma" in our lives at one point and time... doesnt give anyone a green light to rape and murder and dispose of an innocent little girl the way sandra was.:eek:

QNA
04-18-2009, 06:19 AM
im sorry...i still have no pity..true or not... we have all had some type of "trauma" in our lives at one point and time... doesnt give anyone a green light to rape and murder and dispose of an innocent little girl the way sandra was.:eek:

Allegedly. If it turns out she is innocent will be have pity then?

Mouser
04-18-2009, 08:49 AM
I know what I'm about to say will make me very unpopular here, but I feel I need to express it anyway. And please read this entire post, if you read it at all--before you write me off.

I do have some compassion for Melissa Huckaby. I think she is a very deeply troubled and lost soul. Though I believe she was most likely abused in one or more fashions during her youth, it really doesn't matter if she wasn't because either way, she's clearly messed up. If she didn't suffer any "real" trauma, than she likely has a genetic chemical imbalance. I mean--no one chooses to be depressed or mentally unstable. When I saw her sob in the courtroom, I felt that a life time of pain was surfacing, and I do believe she is remorseful for what she did.

Now, having said that--I do not in any way mean to suggest that she is excused. She committed heinous crimes, for which she should be punished. But, in my opinion, unlike Casey Anthony, I do think she deserves some psyche help when she's in prison. I think CA is beyond help or redemption, but I think MH still has a soul that can be saved. (I'm not Christian per se, but I do believe in many of the tenets of the religion.)

My compassion toward MH does not preclude my anger toward her. I feel both, with equal amounts of pain in my heart. As this case runs its course, information may come out to make me change my mind about her, but from what we know at this point, these are my feelings.

Thank you for reading.

QNA
04-18-2009, 09:18 AM
There is nothing wrong with showing compassion for those who are suffering. Especially for those whom you may despise. It is the mark of a very wise and advanced soul.

Luke 6:35 "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.

arielilane
04-18-2009, 09:24 AM
No pity from here...two wrongs don't make a right. good grief.

arielilane
04-18-2009, 09:25 AM
I believe in compassion, but will not pamper a murderer.

har30black
04-18-2009, 09:33 AM
There is nothing wrong with showing compassion for those who are suffering. Especially for those whom you may despise. It is the mark of a very wise and advanced soul.

Luke 6:35 "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.

Thank you for quoting this verse. I myself have struggled with feeling of feeling compassion for those who have done wrong, as well as anger to what they have done...it is a very strange mix of emotions...

QNA
04-18-2009, 09:35 AM
I believe in compassion, but will not pamper a murderer.

Alleged murderer. At the moment she is just charged with the crime.

Mouser
04-18-2009, 09:37 AM
Please understand that I don't think MH should be "pampered" either. I think she should be punished to the full extent of the law. I just think that she still has some humanity. I distinguish her from the likes of Casey Anthony who shows absolutely no remorse or human emotion. I don't think anything in MH's past, or the state of her mental health, should soften her sentence, but I do hope that she finds some spiritual peace while she spends her life paying for her crimes--that she is released from some of what has tormented her while she comes to terms with the horror she has cast.

Bobbisangel
04-18-2009, 09:38 AM
People with Borderline Personality Disorder are usually the cutters. It is often a release of their pain to cut. Some say that it feels good and they know when they cut that they are still alive. Basically it is a release of some type for a cutter.

I have no doubt that Melissa has some deep seated problems or she couldn't have done what she did. I can also feel sad that she didn't receive help when she really needed it when she was still in school or right afterward. Regardless, it doesn't change what she did. I want to know WHY she did it.

She very well could have been raped by a cop when she was 18 yrs. There are many people who were raped and never turned the rapist in but just tried to live with it. I get the feeling that some of the things Melissa did were a cry for help but no one seemed to catch on which is to bad.

jai-yen
04-18-2009, 09:47 AM
Please understand that I don't think MH should be "pampered" either. I think she should be punished to the full extent of the law. I just think that she still has some humanity. I distinguish her from the likes of Casey Anthony who shows absolutely no remorse or human emotion. I don't think anything in MH's past, or the state of her mental health, should soften her sentence, but I do hope that she finds some spiritual peace while she spends her life paying for her crimes--that she is released from some of what has tormented her while she comes to terms with the horror she has cast.

At least in theory, she will get help in prison. She'll get stability, medication and psychiatric help.

doubletrouble
04-18-2009, 09:55 AM
well usually everyone is a suspect until the police have some type of solid evidence to charge that individual for the crimes allegedly commited... she either confessed, or there is significant evidence..and to add a rape with a foreign object??? nope...no pity here...sorry

arielilane
04-18-2009, 10:09 AM
I like to think of myself as an old and advanced soul. The bigger picture that we don’t all agree on…I too can agree with compassion and forgiveness, but I’m just not there yet. I know that my vision of a precious child Sandra was happily playing and not bothering anyone; doing what a child is suppose to do…and then came a monster. Sorry, but I’m not there yet…if ever. Thankfully, it really doesn’t matter how I feel, as long as justice is served for Sandra.

arielilane
04-18-2009, 10:19 AM
I know what I'm about to say will make me very unpopular here, but I feel I need to express it anyway. And please read this entire post, if you read it at all--before you write me off.

I do have some compassion for Melissa Huckaby. I think she is a very deeply troubled and lost soul. Though I believe she was most likely abused in one or more fashions during her youth, it really doesn't matter if she wasn't because either way, she's clearly messed up. If she didn't suffer any "real" trauma, than she likely has a genetic chemical imbalance. I mean--no one chooses to be depressed or mentally unstable. When I saw her sob in the courtroom, I felt that a life time of pain was surfacing, and I do believe she is remorseful for what she did.

Now, having said that--I do not in any way mean to suggest that she is excused. She committed heinous crimes, for which she should be punished. But, in my opinion, unlike Casey Anthony, I do think she deserves some psyche help when she's in prison. I think CA is beyond help or redemption, but I think MH still has a soul that can be saved. (I'm not Christian per se, but I do believe in many of the tenets of the religion.)

My compassion toward MH does not preclude my anger toward her. I feel both, with equal amounts of pain in my heart. As this case runs its course, information may come out to make me change my mind about her, but from what we know at this point, these are my feelings.

Thank you for reading.
I have bolded your post, that I do not understand. I would put MH and CA in the same hellhole. You are entitled to your thoughts and no problem that you have posted them. But, how can you possibly think that MH should get help, but not CA? Because MH was crying? I think she was crying for herself. I think we may hear of intents and other times that she has harmed Sandra and others.

Mouser
04-18-2009, 10:31 AM
I have bolded your post, that I do not understand. I would put MH and CA in the same hellhole. You are entitled to your thoughts and no problem that you have posted them. But, how can you possibly think that MH should get help, but not CA? Because MH was crying? I think she was crying for herself. I think we may hear of intents and other times that she has harmed Sandra and others.


I am stating feelings, not facts. Feelings can not always be defended in a rational way. I interpreted MH's tears as sincere, and loaded with existential pain (maybe I'm seeing truth, maybe it's PMS--who knows--they're simply "feelings"). In contrast, CA has barely squeezed out a tear, and her attempts at conveying any emotion other than self-righteousness, seem very contrived to me. Again, these are not provable facts--they are admittedly, just my subjective "feelings".

passionflower
04-18-2009, 10:36 AM
Her statement may be a half truth.............just the rape.........
maybe molested/raped and easier to blame an enemy (cop now)
than a family or friend level.............

QNA
04-18-2009, 11:12 AM
well usually everyone is a suspect until the police have some type of solid evidence to charge that individual for the crimes allegedly commited... she either confessed, or there is significant evidence..and to add a rape with a foreign object??? nope...no pity here...sorry

We haven't been privy to the meat of the evidence yet and even then it is not infallible.

Here are some excerps from The Innocence Project (http://www.caught.net/innoc.htm) on the subject of wrongful convictions:

"...Huff, Rattner, and Sagarin, authors of the 1995 book "Convicted but Innocent", spent more than a decade studying the persistence of wrongful convictions, gathering evidence and assessments from police administrators, sheriffs, prosecutors, public defenders, and judges. The three scholars concluded that about 0.5 percent of persons convicted of felonies are estimated to be innocent of the crimes convicted of. This rate amounted to 10,000 innocents per year in 1995 when there were only one million people behind bars

But DNA has blown the lid off of even the extravagant assessment of Huff, Rattner, and Sagarin. DNA analysis has suggested that all of the experts-wise judges like Learned Hand, dedicated police officers, liberal academics, and hard-working lawyers on both sides of the bar-have all underestimated the rate of wrongful conviction. Last year’s best-seller "Actual Innocence" by Barry Scheck, Peter Neufeld and Jim Dwyer suggested the true rate of wrongful convictions may be closer to ten percent than to one-half of one percent. DNA tests used before trial have exonerated at least 5000 prime suspects out of the first 18,000 DNA suspect samples at the FBI and other crime labs-suggesting a pre-trial error rate of more than 25 percent. Since 1977, some 553 people have been executed in the United States while another eighty death row inmates have been released after they were found innocent. For every seven executed, one innocent person is freed-an “error rate” of more than twelve (12) percent. In the State of Illinois, 12 people have been executed since 1977 while 13 have been released after proving their innocence-an error rate of 52 percent. Last year the Governor of Illinois-who supports the death penalty-finally called a moratorium on the use of the death penalty until all of the quirks in the process are ironed out. ..."

-Roger Roots
Providence, Rhode Island

oceanblueeyes
04-18-2009, 11:21 AM
What does this case have to do with the Innocence Project?

How do we know she falsely confessed?

How do we know there isn't forensic evidence tying her to all of the crimes she has been charged with?

I think it is a little too early to be beating the drum for the Innocent Project when the State has not even had a trial where they can introduce the evidence they have against this woman.

And this is a crime message board........not a court of law.


imo

oceanblueeyes
04-18-2009, 11:28 AM
I am stating feelings, not facts. Feelings can not always be defended in a rational way. I interpreted MH's tears as sincere, and loaded with existential pain (maybe I'm seeing truth, maybe it's PMS--who knows--they're simply "feelings"). In contrast, CA has barely squeezed out a tear, and her attempts at conveying any emotion other than self-righteousness, seem very contrived to me. Again, these are not provable facts--they are admittedly, just my subjective "feelings".

I think it is normal for everyone to have gut reactions when they see a defendant as they watch their demeanor.

I respect your feelings even though mine are the opposite. I think this woman cries for herself knowing that everyone is going to know what torturous things she did to an innocent 8 year old child. Imo, she knows her dark secrets are going to be exposed. No longer can she go under the guise of being sweet, meak, trusting and a person that wouldnt harm anyone.

imo

QNA
04-18-2009, 11:30 AM
...

...

I think it is a little too early to be beating the drum for the Innocent Project when the Sate has not even had a trial where they can introduce the evidence they have against this woman

....




...well then consequently it must also be too early to presume she is guilty of these crimes.

JoeFromLB
04-18-2009, 11:32 AM
I'm not at all surprised that MH apparently had lots of trauma and trouble in her life. Most of the murderers who populate our prisons have had troubled childhoods, etc., and endured all sorts of abuse.
I would actually be surprised if Sandra's killer had lived a normal childhood and was well-adjusted in life.

I think the defense if going to play every card available to them and present MH as a deeply traumatized individual who descended into madness and had no control over her actions. Her family is going to go through a sort of hell as all the facts of her life are laid out in a public trial. I have the feeling there could be some shocking revelations in store.

MCDRAW
04-18-2009, 11:35 AM
I know what I'm about to say will make me very unpopular here, but I feel I need to express it anyway. And please read this entire post, if you read it at all--before you write me off.

I do have some compassion for Melissa Huckaby. I think she is a very deeply troubled and lost soul. Though I believe she was most likely abused in one or more fashions during her youth, it really doesn't matter if she wasn't because either way, she's clearly messed up. If she didn't suffer any "real" trauma, than she likely has a genetic chemical imbalance. I mean--no one chooses to be depressed or mentally unstable. When I saw her sob in the courtroom, I felt that a life time of pain was surfacing, and I do believe she is remorseful for what she did.

Now, having said that--I do not in any way mean to suggest that she is excused. She committed heinous crimes, for which she should be punished. But, in my opinion, unlike Casey Anthony, I do think she deserves some psyche help when she's in prison. I think CA is beyond help or redemption, but I think MH still has a soul that can be saved. (I'm not Christian per se, but I do believe in many of the tenets of the religion.)

My compassion toward MH does not preclude my anger toward her. I feel both, with equal amounts of pain in my heart. As this case runs its course, information may come out to make me change my mind about her, but from what we know at this point, these are my feelings.

Thank you for reading.



Prisons were designed to rehabilitate but they are used now for punishment. There's not much help there or there wouldn't be such a high rate of recidivism. JMO

SeriouslySearching
04-18-2009, 11:48 AM
Allegedly. If it turns out she is innocent will be have pity then?How are you so convinced she is innocent? Do you not believe the police have worked diligently in preparing their case against her? Do you honestly think they would arrest her without having adequate proof to back it up and to risk their own careers by this move? Would you be willing to let her babysit your children right now? Are you that convinced of her innocence?!

I have no pity for people who rape and murder children. I believe LE can prove their case and I pray she doesn't walk because one person on the jury feels sorry for her in any way.

Salem
04-18-2009, 12:01 PM
I like to think of myself as an old and advanced soul. The bigger picture that we don’t all agree on…I too can agree with compassion and forgiveness, but I’m just not there yet. I know that my vision of a precious child Sandra was happily playing and not bothering anyone; doing what a child is suppose to do…and then came a monster. Sorry, but I’m not there yet…if ever. Thankfully, it really doesn’t matter how I feel, as long as justice is served for Sandra.

I agree and I won't get there if in fact it is proven that MH did what is being reported. Someone did it - and LE believes that someone is MH. If MH truly feels remorseful and she is guilty - she will plead guilty. If she allows this to go to trial, there will be no compassion from me. Sorry. I believe with her upbringing and her knowledge of right and wrong, that she should do the right thing.

From all her recent actions, including the swallowing of knife blades - all I see is more bids for attention. I'm not sure what all that means - is she crying out for help or does she just want to be noticed? I don't know, I'm no pyschologist. For now, I am watching and waiting and praying that MH does the right thing.

Salem

Salem
04-18-2009, 12:09 PM
I am stating feelings, not facts. Feelings can not always be defended in a rational way. I interpreted MH's tears as sincere, and loaded with existential pain (maybe I'm seeing truth, maybe it's PMS--who knows--they're simply "feelings"). In contrast, CA has barely squeezed out a tear, and her attempts at conveying any emotion other than self-righteousness, seem very contrived to me. Again, these are not provable facts--they are admittedly, just my subjective "feelings".

Mouser - I respect your feelings and I also believe that emotions do not have to be rational - they are what they are (I'm very emotional :))

I would remind you though (with all good intent) that KC also cried at her arraignment and her bond hearing. And she shed tears, especially when her father was on the stand at the bond hearing. But, in my opinion, those tears were for herself and not for Caylee or her family which KC has destroyed in my opinion.

For me - watching MH at her arraignment, I am not convinced that the tears she shed were for anyone other than herself. Even when she flinched - I think she flinched at the "special circumstances" more than at the mention of Sandra's name. If she really is remorseful, she will plead guilty and spare the Chavez/Cantu families the pain of a trial.

Salem

snapdragon
04-18-2009, 12:09 PM
Just want to point something out that I have noticed with what I have seen of MH. The crying in court did make many wonder if she was abused herself, was remorseful, etc. We really don't know. But when I think about her behaviour in the day or two before her arrest, remorse and shame do not make sense. Being local, I was privy to watching much of this on tv, reading the actual local paper. I know many of you have to rely on streaming video over the net. I'm sure you can understand, that when you live locally in a situation like this, you are SATURATED with news/info. So this is what I did and didn't see in MH just prior to her arrest.


MH seemed to be grandstanding.. she loved the attention of the press. She seemed friendly, willing to answer anything, and in control. After Jen Wadsworth at the Tracy press got her to talk and published it, other reporters called her, and she seemed to enjoy very much talking with them and giving them various versions of her story. She did not seem shameful, scared, or remorseful in any way. As a matter of fact, she seemed relaxed, and to be enjoying all the attention. She even texted the press that she was going down to the police station. The crying started after she got caught.

Because of this, I have a hard time buying the remosre angle. Plus if she were truly remorseful, she would plea guilty and get this over with. She strikes me as a very selfish, narcissitic person who borders on sociopathic (though I'm not sure that she is sociopathic). I believe she saw Sandra as an object to take her rage out on. I don't even know now if I believe that MH was molested in the past or not. I know i completely doubt the rape story. I think it was a way for her to get attention from her friends... very Munchausen-like (like another poster said). It has been reported that MH's daughter was examined and shows no sign of molest. MH may have never molested anyone.... she may not even be a pedophile. She may have just raged on that poor child and did whatever to inflict pain for that reason only. I think she was born with faulty wiring, and various stressors, hormones, etc, brought this to a head. I think she puts on a great act for others, while a monster lurks inside. I don't know that we will ever know the true motive for this, since whenever MH's lips are moving, she's lying. I do believe she is a danger to society and can never be rehabilitated. Regardless of the plea, sentence, etc, she needs to be locked up for life.

SeriouslySearching
04-18-2009, 12:21 PM
It doesn't surprise me that she is a cutter. I only pray nothing remotely related was done to Sandra.

I guess we knew the supposed "suicide note" from the sixth grade would come out after it was written about here, but I am surprised her old friends are taking the press route to "humanize" Melissa. Defending Melissa would not be on my list of things to do even if I knew her "back in the day".

Her being raped and having psychological problems would not account for the brutal sexual attack and murder of Sandra, imo. To try and lessen the burden of guilt in this case by people coming forward to speak of rapes or problems to me is almost like they are trying to justify what she supposedly has done.

lawlady84
04-18-2009, 12:43 PM
I think MH is deeply disturbed. But what is stated in the article is really not that out of the ordinary. Many people go through the same things. This will sound bad, but if MH was charged with murdering her abusive boyfriend/ex-husband, I would be more "understanding." Her "symptoms" would add up more - abused, clinically depressed, self-mutilating woman flies into a rage and murders her alleged abuser.

But to be charged with the rape and murder of an 8 year old girl is an entirely different animal. I think it takes a certain pathos to even contemplate a crime like that. ESPECIALLY a mother. I am not wearing "gender blinders," but the pure biological fact is that men and women are different - and the act of pregnancy, child birth, and child rearing normally make women more sensitive to children. Its just pure biology - your body has evolved to be attached to and nurture your child. Yes there are awful women, but we would not survive as a species if women weren't "programed" to child-raising.

So IMO for a mother to do something like this, it takes much more than being sad about not making the dance team, and even a rape at 18. Something is OFF in her brain, or she endured some torture when she was younger. IMO even those situation would not excuse her. She knew right from wrong, she should pay the consequences. Personally I only think the insanity defense should be allowed for those who are mentally challenged (as in below a certain IQ functioning). So even if MH has a brain disorder, she can sit in jail and take her meds. Society can't function on excuses!

snapdragon
04-18-2009, 12:44 PM
It doesn't surprise me that she is a cutter. I only pray nothing remotely related was done to Sandra.

I guess we knew the supposed "suicide note" from the sixth grade would come out after it was written about here, but I am surprised her old friends are taking the press route to "humanize" Melissa. Defending Melissa would not be on my list of things to do even if I knew her "back in the day".

Her being raped and having psychological problems would not account for the brutal sexual attack and murder of Sandra, imo. To try and lessen the burden of guilt in this case by people coming forward to speak of rapes or problems to me is almost like they are trying to justify what she supposedly has done.

Yes, SS! If I had known MH in the past and found out she did this, flapping my jaw to the press would be the LAST thing I'd do. I'd be mortified, glad that I no longer knew her, and happy that she didn't rage on me or my family! I also wouldn't want to call that type of attention to myself. I smell hidden agendas here.... paid interviews? Free trips to NYC to be on Today show? Book deals? hmmm

tiredofthis
04-18-2009, 01:26 PM
Allegedly. If it turns out she is innocent will be have pity then?

Melissa obviously played some role in the kidnapping, rape, and murder of Sandra Cantu. The police are fairly certain she committed this horrible act on her own. She has admitted Sandra's death was an accident and she covered up the crime, so no matter how you look at it, she isn't innocent. This beautiful, little girl would be alive today if not for Melissa's actions.

KoldKase
04-18-2009, 01:37 PM
Just want to point something out that I have noticed with what I have seen of MH. The crying in court did make many wonder if she was abused herself, was remorseful, etc. We really don't know. But when I think about her behaviour in the day or two before her arrest, remorse and shame do not make sense. Being local, I was privy to watching much of this on tv, reading the actual local paper. I know many of you have to rely on streaming video over the net. I'm sure you can understand, that when you live locally in a situation like this, you are SATURATED with news/info. So this is what I did and didn't see in MH just prior to her arrest.


MH seemed to be grandstanding.. she loved the attention of the press. She seemed friendly, willing to answer anything, and in control. After Jen Wadsworth at the Tracy press got her to talk and published it, other reporters called her, and she seemed to enjoy very much talking with them and giving them various versions of her story. She did not seem shameful, scared, or remorseful in any way. As a matter of fact, she seemed relaxed, and to be enjoying all the attention. She even texted the press that she was going down to the police station. The crying started after she got caught.

Because of this, I have a hard time buying the remosre angle. Plus if she were truly remorseful, she would plea guilty and get this over with. She strikes me as a very selfish, narcissitic person who borders on sociopathic (though I'm not sure that she is sociopathic). I believe she saw Sandra as an object to take her rage out on. I don't even know now if I believe that MH was molested in the past or not. I know i completely doubt the rape story. I think it was a way for her to get attention from her friends... very Munchausen-like (like another poster said). It has been reported that MH's daughter was examined and shows no sign of molest. MH may have never molested anyone.... she may not even be a pedophile. She may have just raged on that poor child and did whatever to inflict pain for that reason only. I think she was born with faulty wiring, and various stressors, hormones, etc, brought this to a head. I think she puts on a great act for others, while a monster lurks inside. I don't know that we will ever know the true motive for this, since whenever MH's lips are moving, she's lying. I do believe she is a danger to society and can never be rehabilitated. Regardless of the plea, sentence, etc, she needs to be locked up for life.

Thanks for sharing your experiences here. This is very interesting. I had no idea she had become such a "media ho" before the arrest.

All I have seen of the before arrest video of Huckaby is her waving at the press when she was driving to the police station. I thought that was odd, because I wondered why the press would even have that shot. I wondered if they were just there in the park because of the murder and happened to catch her leaving. Now it seems, from what you say, she set up that photo op.

Really sick.

KoldKase
04-18-2009, 01:51 PM
I know what I'm about to say will make me very unpopular here, but I feel I need to express it anyway. And please read this entire post, if you read it at all--before you write me off.

I do have some compassion for Melissa Huckaby. I think she is a very deeply troubled and lost soul. Though I believe she was most likely abused in one or more fashions during her youth, it really doesn't matter if she wasn't because either way, she's clearly messed up. If she didn't suffer any "real" trauma, than she likely has a genetic chemical imbalance. I mean--no one chooses to be depressed or mentally unstable. When I saw her sob in the courtroom, I felt that a life time of pain was surfacing, and I do believe she is remorseful for what she did.

Now, having said that--I do not in any way mean to suggest that she is excused. She committed heinous crimes, for which she should be punished. But, in my opinion, unlike Casey Anthony, I do think she deserves some psyche help when she's in prison. I think CA is beyond help or redemption, but I think MH still has a soul that can be saved. (I'm not Christian per se, but I do believe in many of the tenets of the religion.)

My compassion toward MH does not preclude my anger toward her. I feel both, with equal amounts of pain in my heart. As this case runs its course, information may come out to make me change my mind about her, but from what we know at this point, these are my feelings.

Thank you for reading.

Your compassion is what you DON'T have in common with Huckaby. If she had compassion, a child would still be skipping down the street anticipating the sweetness of a summer day. If she had compassion, she wouldn't have been waving at cameras while the parents of her victim cried with broken hearts that will never be mended.

You're projecting a lot into what you think Huckaby feels. You don't know what she feels. Don't be fooled just because you are a good person. There be monsters here.

KoldKase
04-18-2009, 01:54 PM
There is nothing wrong with showing compassion for those who are suffering. Especially for those whom you may despise. It is the mark of a very wise and advanced soul.

Luke 6:35 "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.


Oh, puhleeze. Such obvious flattery is patronizing, you know.

adnoid
04-18-2009, 02:51 PM
...I don't think the rape itself had any direct bearings on Melissa's alleged actions but it might have been part of the her psychological make up at the time...

Alleged rape.

Columbo
04-18-2009, 03:10 PM
Someone has probably already said this, but anyway......If she was wrongfully accused of this crime, why would she have said it was an accident?

If she were innocent, she would protest being accused and arrested at all, not trying to invent new ways to make the crime appear less heinous.

As far as her claim that she was raped by a cop....who knows?

HarvestMoon
04-18-2009, 03:18 PM
I think she probably was raped. I expected to hear this and of more abuse. I also suspected she was a cutter. I think this murder could have been avoided . We need more resources for mental health aid. We need to not make it a tabu to seek that aid, people ARE wounded and they DO hurt. People have remarked over and over that this woman was off-course. Even the court apparently noticed. It's a shame, a real shame. I'm so sad and angry that Sandra Cantu is gone at 8 years old.

MCDRAW
04-18-2009, 04:34 PM
It doesn't surprise me that she is a cutter. I only pray nothing remotely related was done to Sandra.

I guess we knew the supposed "suicide note" from the sixth grade would come out after it was written about here, but I am surprised her old friends are taking the press route to "humanize" Melissa. Defending Melissa would not be on my list of things to do even if I knew her "back in the day".

Her being raped and having psychological problems would not account for the brutal sexual attack and murder of Sandra, imo. To try and lessen the burden of guilt in this case by people coming forward to speak of rapes or problems to me is almost like they are trying to justify what she supposedly has done.


I agree. If she was raped, you would think that she would know the horror and pain and not then do this to a young innocent 8 year old girl. Now had she kidnapped the alleged police man who raped her and raped him with a foreign object then I might could squeeze a tad of sympathy out for MH. JMO

SuziQ
04-18-2009, 05:13 PM
Why is it that so many feel sympathy towards a criminal when they see what appears to be remorse? IMO Melissa, like so many other murderers, don't reflect a person who has an ounce of empathy towards their victims when they take their life. So it would not make a lick of sense that they would suddenly show sympathy once they are arrested and charged. What does make sense is that they are grieving for themselves and the situation that they got themselves into. They are grieving for their own life ruined. They are upset because they got caught.

Winnow
04-18-2009, 05:19 PM
Just posted

Tracy Press Re Huckaby rape charge:

SoCal officer cleared of Huckaby rape charge, probe found

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/full_story?page_label=home&id=2345658-SoCal+officer+cleared+of+Huckaby+rape+charge-+probe+found&article-SoCal%20officer%20cleared%20of%20Huckaby%20rape%20 charge-%20probe%20found%20=&widget=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&

SuziQ
04-18-2009, 05:26 PM
How are you so convinced she is innocent? Do you not believe the police have worked diligently in preparing their case against her? Do you honestly think they would arrest her without having adequate proof to back it up and to risk their own careers by this move? Would you be willing to let her babysit your children right now? Are you that convinced of her innocence?!

I have no pity for people who rape and murder children. I believe LE can prove their case and I pray she doesn't walk because one person on the jury feels sorry for her in any way.

I hear you SS. I've often said that the people with this thought process might have a change of heart if these perps had to go live with them and their children. Heck, we might have parole boards and judges make better decisions if this was a requirement.

SuziQ
04-18-2009, 05:33 PM
Someone has probably already said this, but anyway......If she was wrongfully accused of this crime, why would she have said it was an accident?

If she were innocent, she would protest being accused and arrested at all, not trying to invent new ways to make the crime appear less heinous.

As far as her claim that she was raped by a cop....who knows?

In fact, in LE interrogations, LE will often play a sympathetic role towards a suspect saying over and over "this is the chance to tell your side of the story" "maybe you didn't mean it", etc. And usually a suspect that goes on to confess will dowplay their involvement by saying the murder was either an accident, self defense, or the victim wronged the suspect somehow and deserved it. LE has gotten their admission from the suspect that they caused the death. It's up to the prosecutor to show and prove motive in court.

panthera
04-18-2009, 05:34 PM
I agree. If she was raped, you would think that she would know the horror and pain and not then do this to a young innocent 8 year old girl. Now had she kidnapped the alleged police man who raped her and raped him with a foreign object then I might could squeeze a tad of sympathy out for MH. JMO
Exactly. How many rape victims abduct, rape and then kill an innocent little girl? If anything, they'd want to help others avoid what they've been through. MOO

tiredofthis
04-18-2009, 05:36 PM
Why is it that so many feel sympathy towards a criminal when they see what appears to be remorse? IMO Melissa, like so many other murderers, don't reflect a person who has an ounce of empathy towards their victims when they take their life. So it would not make a lick of sense that they would suddenly show sympathy once they are arrested and charged. What does make sense is that they are grieving for themselves and the situation that they got themselves into. They are grieving for their own life ruined. They are upset because they got caught.

I don't feel remorse for MH, however I do believe there was some form of abuse in her past which caused her to commit this crime. This doesn't make what she did okay and she shouldn't get sympathy for her actions. I will argue for and sympathize with victims of sex abuse nonstop, but the minute a former victim crosses the line and becomes an abuser themselves, my sympathy goes out the window.

snapdragon
04-18-2009, 05:49 PM
I think the compassion some try to feel for MH is a coping mechanism.. a way of making sense of the senseless. I am reading other boards too and seeing that some feel sorry for her hard life. Wow, is all I have to say. What a hard life. I, personally, went through a divorce early on, my husband cheating on me, got laid off, went back to college, got a great job, got a cancer diagnosis, beat it, got married, got pregnant with my one and only child, stayed on bedrest for 6mos with dr.s telling me I was gonna lose her, gave birth, went back to work full time while raising my young daughter and my 16yr old stepson.

My husband lost his first wife to cancer, raised his son alone until he met me.

My dear friend lost her 19y/o daughter 15yrs ago to her violent boyfriend who strangled her in her own home, drove her in a car to a secluded area, and set her and the car on fire. My friend will go to Corcoran prison in less than 2wks to again fight his parole, a lovely activity she has had to endure every 5yrs for the past 15.

Have I, my husband, or my friend ever thought about raping and killing a little girl because life stresses us out? Because we have been dealt hard blows? God no. Never crossed my mind. Do I sometime fantasize about running away from home and living by the beach? Yes! My point is, NORMAL people do not kill/rage on other people when life's hard knocks come a knockin'. EVERYONE has problems... I have no sympathy for MH. I only have sympathy for Sandra and her family. That's it. She had a RIGHT to play in her neighborhood without thinking some psycho would take her and brutalize her. Boy, I wish I could volunteer for this jury!

Sandra had the misfortune of crossing paths with a psychopath. I do think it was just a matter of being unlucky. If not Sandra, then someone else. Poor, poor little one. Keep her in your mind and heart first. I am now doubting that MH was ever abused in anyway, what with the false rape charges. I am leaning now toward borderline sociopath and narcissist.

SuziQ
04-18-2009, 06:35 PM
Tori2, IMO, some things, especially murder is unforgiverable and forgiveness is wasted on a criminal. Forgiveness is very overated. I've seen victims and their families chastised and badgered because they won't forgive and "move on". I know for me that witholding forgiveness, especially for something unforgiveable like sex abuse is at least something I can personally hold over my tormentor. And yes, that makes me feel real good! I really feel that forgiveness let's the criminal off the hook and makes them feel better. I know many people, including me, that have forgiven someone for something unforgiveable, regreted it later and became more angry than before. And if they don't forgive they are made to feel guilty for it and feel like they, the victim, has done something wrong. And that's not right.

ETA: I feel that forgiveness is to be cherised and not handed out to everyone, be expected, or demanded by anyone. It should be an individual choice for each person.

gitana1
04-18-2009, 06:46 PM
I like to think of myself as an old and advanced soul. The bigger picture that we don’t all agree on…I too can agree with compassion and forgiveness, but I’m just not there yet. I know that my vision of a precious child Sandra was happily playing and not bothering anyone; doing what a child is suppose to do…and then came a monster. Sorry, but I’m not there yet…if ever. Thankfully, it really doesn’t matter how I feel, as long as justice is served for Sandra.


I'm with you. I also am very compassionate. I can't hurt a fly. Literally. I feel deeply for people for the smallest hurts they suffer. I cannot satnd seeing people or animals in pain. But, I cannot feel pity for MH right now. I feel sorry for the child she used to be because I sense that she was probably molested when young. I feel sorry for that child. But not for the adult MH who made a conscious decision to act out her own misery by harming another - an innocent, little kid.
We have free will as humans, even disturbed humans. IMO, MH's sick thoughts took precedence over the human rights of little Sandra to live without assault, to be innocent, to be free from harm and to just be.
MH killed her. That was a choice. She knew it was wrong. That is obvious from her post-crime conduct and the way she committed the crime. I apologize if I offend but given these facts, I cannot empathize at the moment. Not for the person she is today.
Reading this article, I do believe MH has a significant Munchausen's component. I do not believe she was raped by a police officer. Claiming rape or claiming to be the victim of another type of crime is very common for people with Munchausen's and Munchausen's by proxy. Interestingly, she also claims to have been assaulted by two exes and her small child is thin and "sickly". The cutting and suicidial ideation and suicide attempt via swallowing razor blades, no less, also fits such a disorder, from what I have learned.
These are people who don't mind hurting themselves or others for attention.
I find it signficant that LE may not have looked at MH if she had not inserted herself into the case by speaking with the media, writing the note and saying the things she did. It seems to me that she may have wanted to get attention by harming a child and then discover "clues" herself that would make her stand out as someone who found something important. Sorry, but these types never engender pity within me. Their sick desire to be noticed regardless of the lives that may be destroyed due to their wants, disgusts me. It's evil.
But, the apparent sexual assault of Sandra before killing her points to something even more sinister than even Munchausen's. I think there may be a pedophilic element as well. I can't find any pity for these types either. Again, they are deciding that their desires, their wants, are more important than an innocent child's need to remain safe, whole and alive.
MH is disturbed, likely because of her childhood, but she clearly knew right from wrong and had control over what she did. That she committed the crime in secret and then tried to cover it up proves that, IMO. Being disturbed may explain the impulses involved in the commission of a crime but it is not an excuse and it certainly should not be a mitigating factor: The majority of people abused in childhood and/or disturbed adults, do NOT become defilers of children. It is a choice.
IMO the adult MH does not deserve our pity, due to the choice she made. My pity is reserved for sweet little Sandra who just wanted to play and have fun being a kid and her devastated family who will not get to put their arms around that little girl for the rest of their days on earth.

gitana1
04-18-2009, 06:57 PM
I know what I'm about to say will make me very unpopular here, but I feel I need to express it anyway. And please read this entire post, if you read it at all--before you write me off.

I do have some compassion for Melissa Huckaby. I think she is a very deeply troubled and lost soul. Though I believe she was most likely abused in one or more fashions during her youth, it really doesn't matter if she wasn't because either way, she's clearly messed up. If she didn't suffer any "real" trauma, than she likely has a genetic chemical imbalance. I mean--no one chooses to be depressed or mentally unstable. When I saw her sob in the courtroom, I felt that a life time of pain was surfacing, and I do believe she is remorseful for what she did.

Now, having said that--I do not in any way mean to suggest that she is excused. She committed heinous crimes, for which she should be punished. But, in my opinion, unlike Casey Anthony, I do think she deserves some psyche help when she's in prison. I think CA is beyond help or redemption, but I think MH still has a soul that can be saved. (I'm not Christian per se, but I do believe in many of the tenets of the religion.)

My compassion toward MH does not preclude my anger toward her. I feel both, with equal amounts of pain in my heart. As this case runs its course, information may come out to make me change my mind about her, but from what we know at this point, these are my feelings.

Thank you for reading.

Mouser, I seriously admire your ability to feel compassion for MH even while feeling anger towards her. Compassion, as long as it does not temper reason and a determination to obtain true justice, can never be wrong, IMO. However, I believe that if MH really felt actual remorse for what she did, she would simply plead "Guilty." When she does that, I'll believe she feels remorse. So far, all I have seen her do is lie in a calm voice before the body was found, fail to shed tears when talking about the missing child to reporters and only cry when she is caught, and tell her family that she is innocent. I see no remorse so far.

MCDRAW
04-18-2009, 07:00 PM
Well, snap, you have sure had your share of troubles; and I think you're right, many of us have. I'm so glad you seem to be in a better place now.

I agree and disagree with you.

I was/am very upset with all the children who are hurt in this world. I will never forget Sandra skipping - EVER! What a joyful child! I'm extremely upset with what happened to her, and to tell you the truth, I am sick to death of all the sexual predators out there. That, and all the parents who should not be parents. How can anyone hurt a child?

Where we differ is that I do feel empathy for any of these people. I once read someone - and I can't remember who it was - say that none of these people started their lives wanting to become murderers, pedophiles, etc. Somewhere, somehow, something went wrong.

Is it some sort of imbalance? Could be, and if so, it bothers me to think that someone may have been born that way. Were they raised with terrible people? Again, it could be, and that is a terrible situation, too. The thing is, something happened to this human being, too. Something went terribly wrong and was never addressed. I do not feel I have the right to judge this person. They will be judged...in the courts and by God.

I guess I just don't think things are so black and white. There are so many variables and we have no clue. Even if she is anti-social diagnosed, that is still something that came to be/or something missing and how can you not have empathy for that?

You don't have to like the person or the act, but to hold onto that much anger is not good. Forgiveness is one of the biggest things we must deal with and it is NOT for the other person...it is to let go of the negativity we hold on to.

I think in cases such as this we should pray for everyone. Do I realize that not everyone can do this? Yes. I do. But, I think that is what we strive for. This is what I truly believe God and every other enlightened prophet has spoken about throughout the ages. Forgiveness is what we must get to.


I personally believe that it comes down to choices. No one had a perfect childhood. The things we go through, either you learn to deal with it and go on or you use it as an excuse. There are things that profoundly effect our lives. People struggle every day with these affects. Most don't use them for excuses to rape and kill. Forgiveness is a good thing but I believe that we can only truly forgive with God's help and when it's right for us. It's an individual choice to forgive. Everyone gets to that place at a different time, if ever. Sometimes the pain is just too great. I believe God understands. I hope.

gitana1
04-18-2009, 07:04 PM
Just posted

Tracy Press Re Huckaby rape charge:

SoCal officer cleared of Huckaby rape charge, probe found

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/full_story?page_label=home&id=2345658-SoCal+officer+cleared+of+Huckaby+rape+charge-+probe+found&article-SoCal%20officer%20cleared%20of%20Huckaby%20rape%20 charge-%20probe%20found%20=&widget=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&


I knew it.

gitana1
04-18-2009, 07:24 PM
Gitana,
Just to make it clear, I do not pity MH. And, contrary to what you might think, many of these people don't always "choose" what they do. There is something wrong with them and they do not make the right choices. That is what Mental Health is all about. I have no clue if MH does or not, but it really doesn't matter. What she did was wrong and she will have to pay the price.

I am right with all of you hating what is happening in the world today; I just view it a little differently. I totally see where you're coming from.

Thank you. I disagree, though, that people like MH do not choose to do what they do. I have studied a significant amount of psychology and as a lawyer, albeit not a criminal one, I know enough about the subject of competency and not guilty by reason of insanity to have a firm foundation for my opinions. Again, I admire the ability to show compassion for a person who may have suffered such as this. I can't. Maybe I'm not a good enough person but I sincerely base my inability to feel compassion on the fact that MH made a choice and that her choice involved the rights, life and light of an 8 year old darling.
I would believe she did not choose to do what she did if she tried to do it on the street in full view of the public. I would believe it was out of her control if she was just as capable of trying to do it to a 200 pound adult male as to an 8 year old child. But, MH did this in secret. It appears she planned to do this by taking the child to an isolated location and not bringing witnesses. Then, she lied about it and tried to cover it up by stashing the body. If it was not in her control, I imagine she would hurl the body on the street in plain view, in a full, psychotic break. None of this happened. MH knew and MH chose, IMO.
It irritates me that many use the excuse that the person was mentally ill so they could not control themselves. The seriously mentally ill people I have knowleldge of that one could say were not in control of themselves do things like slinging their feces around or on themselves, lighting themselves on fire and chewing off their own fingers. They babble, hallucinate and are not coherent in the moments just prior or just after a psychotic episode. MH seemed to be in full control of her mental faculties before and after as she calmly lied to reporters and spoke of Sandra Cantu after she went missing and was found dead.
I'm not buying that MH is in anyway so mentally ill that she could not control what she did.

MCDRAW
04-18-2009, 07:24 PM
Yes, we have free will and we do have to make choices. Unfortunately, some people's psyche is not equipped correctly; some people have personality disorders; etc., etc. This does not in ANY WAY excuse what they've done. It is just one part of the whole picture. All I am saying is that Forgiveness is NOT about excusing what they've done. It is being able to see the human being underneath the "bad person" and not hold onto anger.

I honestly don't believe that too many people are born as "bad seeds." There's a lot more to it than choice.


I understand what you are saying. I feel like if someone knows right from wrong then it comes down to choices. If they don't know right from wrong then thats a different story. JMO

SuziQ
04-18-2009, 07:27 PM
Hey Suzi!
I totally hear you and understand. It's very scary to "forgive" someone. But, often "forgiveness" is not truly understood. It does not mean we let the other person off the hook - NO WAY! It does not mean we give them a "pass" for what they've done. None of this is what forgiveness truly means.

I am right there with you in regard to rape, murder, child abuse, etc. The difference is that I don't want to hold on to negativity, and judgmentalness is negativity. I also want to be able to look at the offender and at some level understand (BUT IN NO WAY APPROVE OF OR CONDONE)that this is a human being who somehow, someway got led astray or has medical problems or has also been abused. For whatever reason, this person has chosen to react in horrible ways.

I would never presume to tell someone when or how they should forgive. Maybe they never will. No one has the right to tell someone to "move on" or "suck it up". We just can't possibly understand what another person has been through.

I'll say it again, Forgiveness is NOT for the other person, it is for you. It is letting go of anything that will get in your way. You will never forget, but not forgiving keeps you constantly tied to that other person. In essence you are giving up your power to them! Forgiving and letting go empowers YOU.

I happen to have worked for one of the leading researchers on Forgiveness for many years, and she is now one of my dear friends. I learned a lot and I think if you knew more you might see it differently. But, I will in NO WAY tell you to do this!:blowkiss:

Victims should NEVER feel guilty. EVER!

I don't think forgiveness is overrated...I think it's misunderstood.

Regarding what I bolded. Does a criminal know what forgiveness means? Do you think they've benefited from reading the research your dear friend conducted? I doubt it. In fact most people do not know what forgiveness truly means. To many who receive forgiveness it does mean they they are let off the hook and it does make them feel better. Ever do something bad to someone and they forgave you for it? Did it not make you feel better or not?

Not trying to insult your friend or argue, just wanted to give another person's point of view about forgiveness. And there was a big movement a few years back when soul searching and self help was big and everyone had a book out there. Believe me when I say alot of people like me were left confused, hurt and wondered what was wrong with them because they didn't get it or jump on the forgiveness band wagon. I never heard any of the "experts" state it was ok not to forgive. But I sure heard alot of why we should and that we should.

gitana1
04-18-2009, 07:28 PM
Yeah, this is a very troubled young woman. I figured as much, too. You know, with all the religious background I'm wondering if maybe she didn't feel a lot of shame in her life. That's what I notice about a lot of preacher's kids. Or, sometimes the church comes before the kids. No matter what, MH was certainly crying out for help - in very, very bad ways.
I agree. I think some times religion is used in a way that prevents a person or family from facing, coping and dealing with things like mental issues or abuse.

gitana1
04-18-2009, 07:32 PM
You know, this whole subject is really freaking me out right now. I am going to have to take a break pretty soon here. What happened to Sandra as well as the serious evil and imbalance of a person like MH is giving me a bit of a panicky feeling and I'm usually good at viewing these cases clinically.

snapdragon
04-18-2009, 08:07 PM
Well, snap, you have sure had your share of troubles; and I think you're right, many of us have. I'm so glad you seem to be in a better place now.

I agree and disagree with you.

I was/am very upset with all the children who are hurt in this world. I will never forget Sandra skipping - EVER! What a joyful child! I'm extremely upset with what happened to her, and to tell you the truth, I am sick to death of all the sexual predators out there. That, and all the parents who should not be parents. How can anyone hurt a child?

Where we differ is that I do feel empathy for any of these people. I once read someone - and I can't remember who it was - say that none of these people started their lives wanting to become murderers, pedophiles, etc. Somewhere, somehow, something went wrong.

Is it some sort of imbalance? Could be, and if so, it bothers me to think that someone may have been born that way. Were they raised with terrible people? Again, it could be, and that is a terrible situation, too. The thing is, something happened to this human being, too. Something went terribly wrong and was never addressed. I do not feel I have the right to judge this person. They will be judged...in the courts and by God.

I guess I just don't think things are so black and white. There are so many variables and we have no clue. Even if she is anti-social diagnosed, that is still something that came to be/or something missing and how can you not have empathy for that?

You don't have to like the person or the act, but to hold onto that much anger is not good. Forgiveness is one of the biggest things we must deal with and it is NOT for the other person...it is to let go of the negativity we hold on to.

I think in cases such as this we should pray for everyone. Do I realize that not everyone can do this? Yes. I do. But, I think that is what we strive for. This is what I truly believe God and every other enlightened prophet has spoken about throughout the ages. Forgiveness is what we must get to.

Tori,

Thanks for your post. Am I angry with MH, especially since I live in Tracy? Yes. Do I have empathy for those tortured souls that were maltreated as children? Of course. We have no evidence that MH had any trauma as a child. Normal, but hard events, are not what I consider to be unusual trauma. I do not think I have had an out of the ordinary course of bad luck in my own life, many have had much worse. I have had many precious gifts as well and live a very comfortable life now... life is a journey full of trials and tribulations. I was just citing that we ALL have our negatives, but they do not drive the normal person to kill a child.

You speak of forgiveness. I believe forgiveness is a sense of accepting and moving on. It does not free the responsible party from anything, nor does it mean we have to forget. It is a letting go so one can go on with their lives in a positive manner.

The friend I mentioned, who's daughter was murdered, is the perfect example. She struggled with the why, where how. Perp wasn't talking, not taking the stand, etc. He got 15-life because they didn't allow a prior conviction as a 17.5y/o to be allowed. He had drug an ex girlfriend by the hair through a parking lot in a moving vehicle. She was in hospital for months and has scars. She is deathly afraid of him still today, yet will be at the upcoming parole hearing. She is my hero.

Anyway, my friend submerged herself into the church to deal with all of this. She also believes in forgiveness. She wrote her daughter's killer, who had supposedly found religion and wanted forgiveness. She struggled with this immensely based on what her faith said. She wanted to know what had happened, was haunted by it. He finally gave his version of events in a chilling letter. As parole hearings got closer, the letters from the murderer were more demanding.. saying if you forgive me, you have to petition for my release. Let me tell you... if you have wronged someone and ask for forgiveness or want to make amends, you do NOT require anything of that person you wronged. The letters were making her distraught until I pointed out to her that she was allowing him to abuse her as he did her daughter- that forgiveness wasn't about taking a specific action, it was about letting go so this could stop haunting her. Although she prays for his soul, she does NOT want another family to go through what she went through. She petitions actively against abusive relationships and talks to high schools about recognizing such behaviour. She is a very strong woman and I admire her.

Perhaps you are right that one should have compassion for MH. I just don't right now. I choose to have compassion with Sandra, the little innocent who just was playing, trusting that this was a safe, happy world. Guess she had a very rude wake-up call.

adnoid
04-18-2009, 08:15 PM
...I believe forgiveness is a sense of accepting and moving on. It does not free the responsible party from anything, nor does it mean we have to forget. It is a letting go so one can go on with their lives in a positive manner...

Yep. Our anger at someone else has no effect on that person. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." --Buddha

snapdragon
04-18-2009, 08:21 PM
Yep. Our anger at someone else has no effect on that person. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." --Buddha

Pefectly said, Adnoid! The quote is wonderful too.

I should like to mention that forgiveness is but a step in the process of acceptance and healing. It typically does not arrive at once, at the time of the event. Some of us are still working through this whole thing.

snapdragon
04-18-2009, 08:27 PM
I am in no way telling you when or if to forgive. You are living a nightmare there. I guess I just don't want MH to have any more power over anyone. I want us all to be able to remember that little girl and have something good come out of it. I'm really thankful for all the new members we have here at WS.

I'm really glad you're here and thanks for talking this out with me!:blowkiss:
Tori

Tori, I bolded the above sentence... I agree completely, except, if she is indeed guilty, which I believe she is, based on our limited evidence, she needs to be convicted and locked up for life before we can get to the point of her to "not have any more power over anyone". If she is released, or gets off on some technicality, she can, indeed, have power over some... little, innocent ones. Let's convict her first if it is appropriate, serve justice, THEN we'll talk about forgiveness. It's a process... remember?

Nonni Brenda
04-18-2009, 08:43 PM
Please understand that I don't think MH should be "pampered" either. I think she should be punished to the full extent of the law. I just think that she still has some humanity. I distinguish her from the likes of Casey Anthony who shows absolutely no remorse or human emotion. I don't think anything in MH's past, or the state of her mental health, should soften her sentence, but I do hope that she finds some spiritual peace while she spends her life paying for her crimes--that she is released from some of what has tormented her while she comes to terms with the horror she has cast.


You may be right about her having humanity. Maybe she just wasn't in touch with it when she was raping Sandra with a foriegn object. If I had pity right now, it would be directed for the Cantu family. MOO. I feel so bad for them.:(

txsvicki
04-18-2009, 08:59 PM
Melissa is a coward. I won't say the vulgar word that I'd normally call someone, male or female, who whines and makes themselves out to be a victim instead of getting some strength to survive. She seems to blame everyone and everything for her own weakness. There's no excuse for killing a child and no reason for anyone other than her church members and family to forgive her. My understanding from all the Bible quoters out in the public who carry on about forgiveness, is that Christians are to always forgive a brother or sister who repents and asks and to pray for their enemies. If someone keeps on doing wrong they put them out and turn them over to whatever. Melissa is turned over to the legal system where she'll stay thank goodness.

oceanblueeyes
04-18-2009, 09:00 PM
I personally believe that it comes down to choices. No one had a perfect childhood. The things we go through, either you learn to deal with it and go on or you use it as an excuse. There are things that profoundly effect our lives. People struggle every day with these affects. Most don't use them for excuses to rape and kill. Forgiveness is a good thing but I believe that we can only truly forgive with God's help and when it's right for us. It's an individual choice to forgive. Everyone gets to that place at a different time, if ever. Sometimes the pain is just too great. I believe God understands. I hope.

I do believe that true forgiveness can come if it is someone that you know or have known personally and they are wanting your forgiveness to also make their lives whole again.

But it is hard to forgive someone when there is no rhyme or reason for what they have done. Melissa Huckaby wouldn't ever have my forgiveness if she had raped and murdered my precious sweet innocent child. There is no way that I can twist my mind to believe that her actions are understandable where I could invoke forgiveness to her. I find her reprehensible and imo she has done the unforgivable.

I am a firm believer, as a survivor of both childhood and adult marital abuse, that life is all about choices once a person becomes of age. Millions of children unfortunately are sexually abused in this country. Most of them don't go onto being heinous rapists and murderers of innocent little children. It is a choice and each one makes their own..... to either go forward toward the light or dwell in the shadows of the dark side.

To forgive ...... one has to understand the "why", imo. I do not understand why this happened and I never will.

imo

Nonni Brenda
04-18-2009, 09:03 PM
Just want to point something out that I have noticed with what I have seen of MH. The crying in court did make many wonder if she was abused herself, was remorseful, etc. We really don't know. But when I think about her behaviour in the day or two before her arrest, remorse and shame do not make sense. Being local, I was privy to watching much of this on tv, reading the actual local paper. I know many of you have to rely on streaming video over the net. I'm sure you can understand, that when you live locally in a situation like this, you are SATURATED with news/info. So this is what I did and didn't see in MH just prior to her arrest.


MH seemed to be grandstanding.. she loved the attention of the press. She seemed friendly, willing to answer anything, and in control. After Jen Wadsworth at the Tracy press got her to talk and published it, other reporters called her, and she seemed to enjoy very much talking with them and giving them various versions of her story. She did not seem shameful, scared, or remorseful in any way. As a matter of fact, she seemed relaxed, and to be enjoying all the attention. She even texted the press that she was going down to the police station. The crying started after she got caught.

Because of this, I have a hard time buying the remosre angle. Plus if she were truly remorseful, she would plea guilty and get this over with. She strikes me as a very selfish, narcissitic person who borders on sociopathic (though I'm not sure that she is sociopathic). I believe she saw Sandra as an object to take her rage out on. I don't even know now if I believe that MH was molested in the past or not. I know i completely doubt the rape story. I think it was a way for her to get attention from her friends... very Munchausen-like (like another poster said). It has been reported that MH's daughter was examined and shows no sign of molest. MH may have never molested anyone.... she may not even be a pedophile. She may have just raged on that poor child and did whatever to inflict pain for that reason only. I think she was born with faulty wiring, and various stressors, hormones, etc, brought this to a head. I think she puts on a great act for others, while a monster lurks inside. I don't know that we will ever know the true motive for this, since whenever MH's lips are moving, she's lying. I do believe she is a danger to society and can never be rehabilitated. Regardless of the plea, sentence, etc, she needs to be locked up for life.

snapdragon, I think you may be right. and we may never really know why she did what she did. Do any of us know anymore than we did as to why Jeffery D. what he did? It almost seems that she is playing a part in a TV crime drama, acting it out. I do know that IMO LE has done a very thorough job as I have noticed, and I have faith that they have arrested the right person. Our system does work most of the time, and I have confidence it will in this case. Just my opinion. Nonni

nursebeeme
04-18-2009, 09:28 PM
...well then consequently it must also be too early to presume she is guilty of these crimes.
seeing how this is websleuths... I can see your legal side of things. Seeing how this is websleuths, I can also see this going tit for tat for pages and pages during the discussion of what we know so far in this case. I understand that all persons are innocent until proven guilty. We are discussing this case and HOW she could have been arrested for this crime and accused not only of murder...but of kidnapping and rape with an object.

I personally am saving that legal work for the legal people and hoping they do a damm fine job. I don't want an innocent person put away for a crime they did not commit. I am sure many, if not all, other websleuthers would echo that.

nursebeeme
04-18-2009, 09:36 PM
Thanks for sharing your experiences here. This is very interesting. I had no idea she had become such a "media ho" before the arrest.

All I have seen of the before arrest video of Huckaby is her waving at the press when she was driving to the police station. I thought that was odd, because I wondered why the press would even have that shot. I wondered if they were just there in the park because of the murder and happened to catch her leaving. Now it seems, from what you say, she set up that photo op.

Really sick.
bold is mine, KK.. great post!

This girl was a walking, breathing, eating media ho! It really, moo, speaks to several possible personality disorders. I also give a lot of credit to the way in which Jennifer Wadsworth from the Tracy Press greased the skids and made her feel comforted and loved and BELIEVED by the media. It opened up the floodgates and washed her into the waiting arms of police.

nursebeeme
04-18-2009, 09:43 PM
I think she probably was raped. I expected to hear this and of more abuse. I also suspected she was a cutter. I think this murder could have been avoided . We need more resources for mental health aid. We need to not make it a tabu to seek that aid, people ARE wounded and they DO hurt. People have remarked over and over that this woman was off-course. Even the court apparently noticed. It's a shame, a real shame. I'm so sad and angry that Sandra Cantu is gone at 8 years old.
Bold is mine... I want to know what was going on with her family life that she was so distressed about according to friends. According to what her father has said it was all fine and good until BAM! She rapes and kills the neighbor girl. I don't buy it. How come her friend Emma never wanted to go over to her house and Melissa wanted to go live at Emma's? I have a hard time believing the truth will come from her family.... it will come from Melissa and after all that she has done and all the lies to police... it will be like "crying wolf".. Who will believe her?

I agree that we need more primary prevention in our society. There is no darker or sicker cycle than that of abuse and throwing a wrench in it very difficult.

txsvicki
04-18-2009, 09:53 PM
It's just my opinion, and know that there can be abuse in Christian homes, but I figure Melissa just bucked authority and had a very jealous vengeful nature. Maybe she suffered from anxiety and OCD that resulted in cutting and some depression, but stealing from Target is bucking authority and wanting instant gratification. That's just an example of her criminal mind right there.

snapdragon
04-18-2009, 10:41 PM
snapdragon, I think you may be right. and we may never really know why she did what she did. Do any of us know anymore than we did as to why Jeffery D. what he did? It almost seems that she is playing a part in a TV crime drama, acting it out. I do know that IMO LE has done a very thorough job as I have noticed, and I have faith that they have arrested the right person. Our system does work most of the time, and I have confidence it will in this case. Just my opinion. Nonni

OMG, Nonni B. I have also been thinking of Jeffery Dahmer throughout this. His poor parents looked distraught and had no clue how he ended up this way. it is not always "nurture", but sometimes nature that creates these monsters.

oceanblueeyes
04-18-2009, 11:06 PM
OMG, Nonni B. I have also been thinking of Jeffery Dahmer throughout this. His poor parents looked distraught and had no clue how he ended up this way. it is not always "nurture", but sometimes nature that creates these monsters.

Exactly and we have got to stop compartmentalizing all of these predators into one tiny box or statistic because to do so is turning a blind eye to the truth.

If we are going to support the victims then we have to open our minds to the fact that both genders can do very vile and despicable sexual things to children.

I hope now that more victimized children will come forth even if they are embarrassed and ashamed they were molested/raped by a female.

imo

Cubby
04-18-2009, 11:34 PM
...well then consequently it must also be too early to presume she is guilty of these crimes.


forensics don't lie, the judicial system at times may, but science doesn't. FWIW, I think the innocence project is a great topic but for another forum and thread. Particularly for those who are requesting trials to have evidence rexamined with current technology which wasn't at the time of their trial if any doubt exists..... but again, for another forum and another thread.

jmo

Cubby
04-18-2009, 11:37 PM
Just posted

Tracy Press Re Huckaby rape charge:

SoCal officer cleared of Huckaby rape charge, probe found

http://www.tracypress.com/pages/full_story?page_label=home&id=2345658-SoCal+officer+cleared+of+Huckaby+rape+charge-+probe+found&article-SoCal%20officer%20cleared%20of%20Huckaby%20rape%20 charge-%20probe%20found%20=&widget=push&instance=home_news_lead_story&open=&


Oh wow, thanks for posting this. When I initially opened the thread my immediate reaction was this was a made up story Melissa told friends for attention and some pampering, a cry for attention/help in a messed up way. Interesting she may have made up false allegations against an officer. Hmmmmm.....

Cubby
04-18-2009, 11:45 PM
OMG, Nonni B. I have also been thinking of Jeffery Dahmer throughout this. His poor parents looked distraught and had no clue how he ended up this way. it is not always "nurture", but sometimes nature that creates these monsters.


I agree, but his parents were 1)Not running around in denial. ;) ;)
2)His father openly admitted he KNEW his son had very serious issues since he was a young boy; his parent(s) simply did not have the knowledge on how to help him. I guess this is as good of place as any to again state, science has advanced with medical help for those who are mentally ill. Are we STILL a society which frowns upon this and people simply want to bury their heads in the sand and hope it goes away or resolves itself on it's own? Is it STILL that shameful? So sad that shame supercedes the love one would have for their own family and do whatever we could to help them. Help for the mentally ill and unstable has really come a long way in the past 30-40 or so years. Now societies thoughts on it needs to catch up as well.

jmo

snapdragon
04-19-2009, 12:04 AM
I agree, but his parents were 1)Not running around in denial. ;) ;)
2)His father openly admitted he KNEW his son had very serious issues since he was a young boy; his parent(s) simply did not have the knowledge on how to help him. I guess this is as good of place as any to again state, science has advanced with medical help for those who are mentally ill. Are we STILL a society which frowns upon this and people simply want to bury their heads in the sand and hope it goes away or resolves itself on it's own? Is it STILL that shameful? So sad that shame supercedes the love one would have for their own family and do whatever we could to help them. Help for the mentally ill and unstable has really come a long way in the past 30-40 or so years. Now societies thoughts on it needs to catch up as well.

jmo


Good post. Yes, science has come a long way, but not far enough.. I am a scientist myself. I can tell you that there exists no cure for personality disorder or psychosis. Yes, there are treatments. A bit better than 30yrs ago, but not much. Most of the meds have marked side effects that cause the users to stop taking the meds. Even when meds are taken properly, they can and do fail as well as cause possible worsening of symptoms. and even if a pill DID work absolutely, how could we propose to follow someone around for the next 30yrs. to make sure they were taking their meds so they didn't rape and murder children?

I think we still don't know enough about the human brain. And we have no drug or treatment to cure the compulsion sexual offenders feel. We have some treatments, like castration, that initially showed promise. Yet I have read of studies that this even doesn't always work...

Good points about Dahmer's parents, thanks!

SeriouslySearching
04-19-2009, 12:34 AM
You raised a very valid point. We do not know enough about the human brain. The studies are still in their infancy in regards to the brain. The answer is there, but we are many decades away from finding it, imo.

QNA
04-19-2009, 03:01 AM
How are you so convinced she is innocent? Do you not believe the police have worked diligently in preparing their case against her? Do you honestly think they would arrest her without having adequate proof to back it up and to risk their own careers by this move? Would you be willing to let her babysit your children right now? Are you that convinced of her innocence?!

I have no pity for people who rape and murder children. I believe LE can prove their case and I pray she doesn't walk because one person on the jury feels sorry for her in any way.

I am no more convinced of her innocence as I am convinced of her guilt. I just refuse to condemn her without seeing all the facts first.

I believe the police have done a good a job as far as they're concerned. This is not to say that their findings and conclusions are infallible. There are many instances where an investigations conclusions turned out to be not quite accurate or just plain wrong. There are special circumstances in this case that differ from your everyday, run of the mill investigation of a crime. For one, this is a very high profile, media saturated case with extensive national coverage. LE was/is under a tremendous amount of pressure to produce a perp and make it stick. The failure or success of this case could make or break some of the investigators/prosecutors who are involved. Their reputations are on the line. This would suggest an almost desperate climate for LE. Desperation breeds haste and a reduction of judgment. I'm not saying that LE has botched anything up or not used good judgment in this case, as I have not seen anything to indicate this, but the atmosphere is certainly there for this to occur. Until I see more concrete facts I have to remain as objective as possible.

Probably wouldn't let Ms. Huckaby babysit my kids in light of the allegations/charges against her but that doesn't mean that I think she's guilty. I just wouldn't risk my childrens safety with someone who could be guilty of such crimes.

That's where you and I differ... I do have pity and mercy for all human beings, regardless of what they've done or are alleged to have done.

SeriouslySearching
04-19-2009, 01:45 PM
My compassion for other people doesn't extend to those who show no mercy in the torture, rape, and murder of children or others. They do not deserve my pity nor do they deserve to be given the chance to redeem themselves. The DP is too kind and LWOP isn't severe enough a punishment in my opinion.

txsvicki
04-20-2009, 12:13 AM
What totally frightens me is these rare people who may or may not have some mental illness, but are very cunning and calculating in the way they commit crimes and set up others. If all this is true, then there is a line of M.'s victims from ex'es, the cop, the drugged child, and now news of the former housemate who believes she was set up in two fires at their home. This is just the ones who have talked. There must be others. Someone like this needs to be recognized as disordered when a child and helped if possible. But, how is this done when sociopaths seem nice, helpful, and charming. The teachers don't like the bothersome troubled kids and expect them to do wrong, not the cunning ones. These kids grow into adults and are a danger to society. They don't need sympathy then. It would do them no good.

darlin gal
04-20-2009, 12:41 AM
What talk of fires?

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/huckaby-school-melissa-2368620-finn-family

Huckaby was considered a "person of interest," but she was not arrested, Ethell said. La Palma police officers are sharing information about the fire case with the Tracy Police Department and the investigatiors.

claudicici
04-20-2009, 12:48 AM
...could the charges be true after all?what if she became pregnant after the rape and the baby was the baby that was adopted by her grandparents?whatever happened to this child?

Silver~Bell
04-20-2009, 01:03 AM
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/huckaby-school-melissa-2368620-finn-family

Huckaby was considered a "person of interest," but she was not arrested, Ethell said. La Palma police officers are sharing information about the fire case with the Tracy Police Department and the investigatiors.

BOY OH BOY if she set those fires, that would SURE be a super red flag -- arson is often coupled with later murders...:eek:

JoeFromLB
04-20-2009, 01:35 AM
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/huckaby-school-melissa-2368620-finn-family

Huckaby was considered a "person of interest," but she was not arrested, Ethell said. La Palma police officers are sharing information about the fire case with the Tracy Police Department and the investigatiors.

Great find! I did not know about the fires.
The article you linked has some good background on MH's life in Southern Calif.

daisy.faithfull
04-20-2009, 02:39 AM
You may be right about her having humanity. Maybe she just wasn't in touch with it when she was raping Sandra with a foriegn object. If I had pity right now, it would be directed for the Cantu family. MOO. I feel so bad for them.:(

In a way it is kinda better that she has humanity, because to me that means she can feel. And I think sitting in a little cell for the rest of her like feeling the guilt, anguish, remorse, isolation, worthlessness, helplessness and everything else is a more fitting punishment than feeling nothing.

KoldKase
04-20-2009, 09:24 AM
If Huckaby is a sociopath, she may feel sorrow and anxiety--for herself, but she won't feel guilt or remorse. But she may be something else...I can't put my finger on it. The cutting and suicide attempts, acting out--she obviously wanted attention. What she seems to have done is engaged in extreme "payback" when she felt rejected or didn't get what she wanted or didn't like someone for some reason. I'm just speculating, of course, but something is going on with her, an undercurrent now showing up in her patterns. I've known people who are control freaks to the point of planning how to hurt others in some way to manipulate a situation, etc. It's not uncontrollable anger, it's more insidious than that, I feel.

I'm starting to wonder if her child is "sickly" for reasons other than natural causes.

This woman is giving me a major case of the creeps. There have been female killers in history who have had long runs of committing abuse crimes against others, including children, even their own. I'm sure you all know of this. Reading the emerging history of Huckaby is making the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

oceanblueeyes
04-20-2009, 09:40 AM
BOY OH BOY if she set those fires, that would SURE be a super red flag -- arson is often coupled with later murders...:eek:

It sure is........so strange that two fires were in the very same home where she lived.

It seems as this woman goes here and yon.....strange things happen.

Kat
04-20-2009, 09:51 AM
I finally found the thread where the fires are being discussed:)

I remember reading a post from someone here on another case and they were talking about a type of personality disorder and what caught my eye was this person said "when we have this type "PD" on the ward, you can always tell...because half of the staff will think the patient is worthy of defense and is very nice, and the other half will see them for who they are...." something along those lines...that the staff will be divided in opinion of the patient...

Then we see reports of MH prior to her current arrest, some depict her as sweet, unassuming, and that they can't fathom how she could be involved. The we see reports such as the landlady who called her "secretive" and pretty much said that MH could have been responsible for arson.

Any armchair psychologist recognize what type(s) of PD this might fall under? I know we can't diagnose her, but it would help me to evaluate what she might have been capable of in the past.

I haven't seen any indication that she's mentally ill other than a previous diagnoses of depression. She may very well be PD though, and with a slew of co-morbidity factors too.

KoldKase
04-20-2009, 09:51 AM
You know, this whole subject is really freaking me out right now. I am going to have to take a break pretty soon here. What happened to Sandra as well as the serious evil and imbalance of a person like MH is giving me a bit of a panicky feeling and I'm usually good at viewing these cases clinically.

This is exactly what I mean when I say Huckaby is starting to give me the creeps.

It's like that guy who was the prototype for the modern serial killer, at least in America: Ed Gein. If you ever read about him and his life, he's one of those people so twisted, once his true pathology was revealed, you learn something you find you don't want to know, really: the landscape of his mind was the stuff of real horror, but it existed in complete secrecy in a small community somehow, for decades.

That's what Huckaby's roommate said, wasn't it? Huckaby had "no story", she was very secretive.

There it is again. That shiver....

KoldKase
04-20-2009, 10:11 AM
I finally found the thread where the fires are being discussed:)

I remember reading a post from someone here on another case and they were talking about a type of personality disorder and what caught my eye was this person said "when we have this type "PD" on the ward, you can always tell...because half of the staff will think the patient is worthy of defense and is very nice, and the other half will see them for who they are...." something along those lines...that the staff will be divided in opinion of the patient...

Then we see reports of MH prior to her current arrest, some depict her as sweet, unassuming, and that they can't fathom how she could be involved. The we see reports such as the landlady who called her "secretive" and pretty much said that MH could have been responsible for arson.

Any armchair psychologist recognize what type(s) of PD this might fall under? I know we can't diagnose her, but it would help me to evaluate what she might have been capable of in the past.

I haven't seen any indication that she's mentally ill other than a previous diagnoses of depression. She may very well be PD though, and with a slew of co-morbidity factors too.

We don't know what kind of psych diagnosis Huckaby has, but something flagged her in her last theft arrest. That may come out and it would be interesting to see what those who examined her found out.

But some psychopaths can be very deceptive, as you point out. Not saying this is what Huckaby is, but just wondering about how a person takes the huge leap from the petty theft crimes on her record to the rape and murder of a child. As Gitano brings up, this isn't an out of control, anger issue, but a very calculated act of depravity.

That's what has me creeped out, too, txsvicki, I think: I wonder what we don't know about.

KoldKase
04-20-2009, 10:28 AM
Tori,

...

You speak of forgiveness. I believe forgiveness is a sense of accepting and moving on. It does not free the responsible party from anything, nor does it mean we have to forget. It is a letting go so one can go on with their lives in a positive manner.

...


I once heard a family member of a victim say it wasn't up to him to forgive the killer, that would be up to the victim who was murdered.

I agree with that.

Letting go of anger is part of the process of learning to live with the reality of such a devastating loss in such a violent manner, IMO. Some can, some can't. If it were easy, it wouldn't matter.

We--the citizens of our national community--are angry, but the loss to us is not comparable to what Sandra and her family lost. It is up to them to decide whether then can, should, or want to forgive, not me.

I just want to make sure this woman never does this again.

Salem
04-20-2009, 12:07 PM
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/huckaby-school-melissa-2368620-finn-family

Huckaby was considered a "person of interest," but she was not arrested, Ethell said. La Palma police officers are sharing information about the fire case with the Tracy Police Department and the investigatiors.

And don't forget the Cypress police apparently also have something to share :confused:

~snip~ Cypress police also are cooperating with the Tracy Police Department, said Sgt. Tom Bruce, but he declined to say if officers provided information about any specific incidents. ~end snip~

Salem

MIMOMMY
04-20-2009, 01:05 PM
No offense and all compassion aside - There are PLENTY of single mothers out there, who meet the description of having been raped, trying to hold down a job, and raise a child alone, Im sure they've all had their "hearts broken", many have thousands of dollars in debt, and receiving public assistance to try and get thru the "hard spots" in life --- I personally have been in that exact situation - broke, no help from anyone, child of a "broken" family system - yet, you dont see my face in the news because I raped and killed my daughters playmate.

Melanie
04-20-2009, 03:13 PM
there are lots of details in this article, none of which seem to correlate with any significance:

At age 18, her heart was broken.
She didn't make the dance team.
Her best friend went to college.
She didn't get along with her family.


Snipped Respectively --

IMHO - pretty much sums up most senior's or just off to college women. I agree - totally insignificant.

Bless,

Melanie

ilovemew
04-20-2009, 09:29 PM
Can someone please tell me if you have to use the word "alleged" here on websleuths? It seems to me that we discuss cases here freely. I think we all know the innocent until proven guilty motto but if that was true in regards to discussing cases than we wouldn't have forums until after the trials. Anyway just my :twocents:

Salem
04-20-2009, 09:40 PM
Hi ilovemew - I never use the word "allege" unless I am trying to make a point about something and I haven't gotten in trouble :)

We should always state that what we say is "just my opinion" because it helps ward off defamation claims and other legal stuff. I agree that we are all adults here (or at least we should be) with the basic understanding of innocent until proven guilty. That shouldn't keep us from having our own opinions. Nor should it keep anyone from voicing the opposite opinion.

Salem

Just my opinion :)

adnoid
04-20-2009, 11:08 PM
Can someone please tell me if you have to use the word "alleged" here on websleuths?...

Only if you think you need to in order to make a point. If you feel you can figure out by context what is opinion and what is fact then the rest of us probably can as well!


...I think we all know the innocent until proven guilty motto but if that was true in regards to discussing cases than we wouldn't have forums until after the trials. Anyway just my :twocents:

At the point where any one of us becomes the trier of fact and empowered to render a legally binding judgement on a case it would be inappropriate to express prejudice about the accused. Until that point (at which point you should not be posting here anyway) this is a crime discussion board, so discuss crime. It's what we do here.

nursebeeme
04-20-2009, 11:40 PM
[quote=Kat;3633369]I finally found the thread where the fires are being discussed:)

I remember reading a post from someone here on another case and they were talking about a type of personality disorder and what caught my eye was this person said "when we have this type "PD" on the ward, you can always tell...because half of the staff will think the patient is worthy of defense and is very nice, and the other half will see them for who they are...." something along those lines...that the staff will be divided in opinion of the patient...

Then we see reports of MH prior to her current arrest, some depict her as sweet, unassuming, and that they can't fathom how she could be involved. The we see reports such as the landlady who called her "secretive" and pretty much said that MH could have been responsible for arson.

quote]
hair cut and bold by me... I did not post about personality disordered patients in the hospital setting... but after reading your post Kat, I can tell you....THAT IS TRUE! I have been an RN almost 18 years now and I can tell you that manipulative people can show a pretty side to some and their fangs to others. As to what PD this could be... I am leaning toward bipolar disorder with sociopathic personality disorder traits. Just moo from my little corner of the world.

I truly see a lot of uncontrolled mania in this woman (fires, theft, poor impulse control with grabbing children/taking them without permission as in the other incident). I would not be surprised in the least to find out that she also has other seemingly minor compulsions and/or manias that her family never thought twice about. I guess we shall see. Of course this was moo...

future criminologist
04-21-2009, 12:34 AM
I don't think we should automatically assume she's lying about the rape. She doesn't seem to me to be a pathological liar, at least in the same way as Casey Anthony, who will absolutely never state a true thing.

and obviously she didn't go to the authorities because the guy was a cop. most rapes go unreported, so I don't think it should be assumed she's lying because she didn't report it, as the article insinuates.

txsvicki
04-21-2009, 12:40 AM
If Huckaby is a sociopath, she may feel sorrow and anxiety--for herself, but she won't feel guilt or remorse. But she may be something else...I can't put my finger on it. The cutting and suicide attempts, acting out--she obviously wanted attention. What she seems to have done is engaged in extreme "payback" when she felt rejected or didn't get what she wanted or didn't like someone for some reason. I'm just speculating, of course, but something is going on with her, an undercurrent now showing up in her patterns. I've known people who are control freaks to the point of planning how to hurt others in some way to manipulate a situation, etc. It's not uncontrollable anger, it's more insidious than that, I feel.

I'm starting to wonder if her child is "sickly" for reasons other than natural causes.

This woman is giving me a major case of the creeps. There have been female killers in history who have had long runs of committing abuse crimes against others, including children, even their own. I'm sure you all know of this. Reading the emerging history of Huckaby is making the hair stand up on the back of my neck.


Well, she was able to move in with the grandparents and not have to work in order to spend more time with the super think and sickly child. It's also giving me a case of the creeps, daily as I read more and more about this woman. It's as frightening as any male I've ever read about.

Kat
04-21-2009, 12:59 AM
I don't think we should automatically assume she's lying about the rape. She doesn't seem to me to be a pathological liar, at least in the same way as Casey Anthony, who will absolutely never state a true thing.

and obviously she didn't go to the authorities because the guy was a cop. most rapes go unreported, so I don't think it should be assumed she's lying because she didn't report it, as the article insinuates.

I understand and I really do respect your viewpoint. Mine differs in that, given she is a liar, I'm not ready to assume that she isn't lying about the rape.

With this one I'm going to suspend my usually jaded viewpoint and accept what SGT Sheneman has to say and he said that the LE officer involved has been cleared.

However, I am always open to change of mind when new facts come to light.

LinasK
04-21-2009, 01:18 AM
I don't think we should automatically assume she's lying about the rape. She doesn't seem to me to be a pathological liar, at least in the same way as Casey Anthony, who will absolutely never state a true thing.

and obviously she didn't go to the authorities because the guy was a cop. most rapes go unreported, so I don't think it should be assumed she's lying because she didn't report it, as the article insinuates.
Now the interesting thing is that I do believe Casey Anthony suffered some kind of sexual abuse/incest, but I don't believe it in Melissa Huckaby's case.

nursebeeme
04-21-2009, 01:28 AM
I don't think we should automatically assume she's lying about the rape. She doesn't seem to me to be a pathological liar, at least in the same way as Casey Anthony, who will absolutely never state a true thing.

and obviously she didn't go to the authorities because the guy was a cop. most rapes go unreported, so I don't think it should be assumed she's lying because she didn't report it, as the article insinuates.

bold is mine.

I haven't seen enough of Huckaby yet to class her as a Casey... but I have seen quite a bit to raise my hinky meter:

1- suitcase is not mine.. cops are getting pictures of a bag like mine to show it to me to compare (to cbs13)... compare that to "that is my suitcase" to tracy press

2- Huckaby states to cbs13 that she took the seven year old girl home and that the mother had her cell phone number but she "lost it".... today we hear that in the police report the mother called 911 and tracy police located the child at the park with Huckaby and escorted them home

3- tracy press confronts her with her past theft history and upcoming court dates. Huckaby tells Ms Wadsworth that is not her. When she asks her why the phone number and address are for "this" Ms Huckaby with whom she is speaking Huckaby again states it is not her. (of course we know now it is her)

4- Huckaby also stated in the cbs interview that her grandparents called her about the seven year old child's mother wanting to know where she was and Huckaby then brought her home.... today we found out that after the MOTHER called 911 police came to the park and brought them home. Today we also hear that her grandfather has a lot to say after this is all over and that he has not visited her at the jail and has no plans to do so.

5- Huckaby stated different accounts about when Sandra came to play the afternoon she went missing.

It seems to me there are many things she said and was glossing over. If they had the sunshine laws in California I bet she would continue to spin those lies over and over. I see a little bit more of Casey in her each day that passes. Moo of course...