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View Full Version : Should Jaycee's Bio Dad Be Allowed to Have a DNA Testing Done?


RainbowsAndGumdrops
09-27-2009, 10:43 AM
There seems to be a lot of fury about Jaycee's bio dad. So my question is does he have the right to have DNA testing done to see if Jaycee is his daughter?

Evan's Mom
09-27-2009, 10:56 AM
Since Jaycee is an adult, I don't think he has the right to demand a DNA test or anything else from her.
However, if Jaycee wants the tests for whatever reason, then of course he should be allowed to have it done.

MarioMangler
09-27-2009, 12:00 PM
Why is this even our business? Now we're getting close to Jon & Kate tabloid territory.

Natal
09-27-2009, 04:29 PM
If it was only Jaycee it wouldnt matter, but because there are minor grandchildren involved, it will become a legal question that will have to be answered by the courts if pressed, and DNA paternity testing is the only way to do that (unless the mother concedes of course).

I'm sure you all know that, whether you like the idea or not, so this poll is kind of pointless.

JBean
09-27-2009, 05:06 PM
If it was only Jaycee it wouldnt matter, but because there are minor grandchildren involved, it will become a legal question that will have to be answered by the courts if pressed, and DNA paternity testing is the only way to do that (unless the mother concedes of course).

.
A legal question for whom and at what point?

stilettos
09-27-2009, 05:08 PM
If it was only Jaycee it wouldnt matter, but because there are minor grandchildren involved, it will become a legal question that will have to be answered by the courts if pressed, and DNA paternity testing is the only way to do that (unless the mother concedes of course).

I'm sure you all know that, whether you like the idea or not, so this poll is kind of pointless.

This man forcing Jaycee and her girls to have a relationship is taking their power away again...and revictimizing them. He should hang his head in shame...but then he has no shame or decency, IMO.

LinasK
09-27-2009, 05:18 PM
This man forcing Jaycee and her girls to have a relationship is taking their power away again...and revictimizing them. He should hang his head in shame...but then he has no shame or decency, IMO.
Nowhere has it been proven that he's forcing them, and contrary to popular opinion, if I were Jaycee, I'd welcome additional blood relatives that I'd been denied access to- by being forced to have the Garridos as family.:sick::sick::sick:

stilettos
09-27-2009, 05:24 PM
Nowhere has it been proven that he's forcing them, and contrary to popular opinion, if I were Jaycee, I'd welcome additional blood relatives that I'd been denied access to- by being forced to have the Garridos as family.:sick::sick::sick:

My concer is with Gloria ALred and the info that they may go to court to require the testing. That, IMO is forcing her. If she chooses it...I am all for it. Nothing in her life should be forced upon her against her will...it is very hard for those who have had their power taken from them at a young age by an abuser to be forced to do anything against their will...it brings back the helplessness of the original abuse.

JBean
09-27-2009, 06:26 PM
This man forcing Jaycee and her girls to have a relationship is taking their power away again...and revictimizing them. He should hang his head in shame...but then he has no shame or decency, IMO.
Revictimizing and forcing? Short of pulling a Garrido, how exactly does one force a relationship?
I have no idea what Slayton's motivation is, but imo perhaps he just wants to prove his paternity and then give them the choice.

But, as I have stated before, timing is everything.

stilettos
09-27-2009, 06:29 PM
Revictimizing and forcing? Short of pulling a Garrido, how exactly does one force a relationship?
I have no idea what Slayton's motivation is, but imo perhaps he just wants to prove his paternity and then give them the choice.

But, as I have stated before, timing is everything.

I agree, Jbean...timing is everything. Hiring an attorney to force a DNA test...well that takes Jaycee's power and choice away. That makes a victim feel helpless...if and when Jaycee and the girls decide they want to pursue the relationship...then it can happen. Why should this man who never had a single thing to do with Jaycee before or during her ordeal, suddenly be granted rights to force biological testing? Can he not out of love choose to allow her to make decisions for her own life...and the girls for their lives?

JBean
09-27-2009, 06:37 PM
I agree, Jbean...timing is everything. Hiring an attorney to force a DNA test...well that takes Jaycee's power and choice away. That makes a victim feel helpless...if and when Jaycee and the girls decide they want to pursue the relationship...then it can happen. Why should this man who never had a single thing to do with Jaycee before or during her ordeal, suddenly be granted rights to force biological testing? Can he not out of love choose to allow her to make decisions for her own life...and the girls for their lives?
Can a DNA test be forced on an adult for paternity if no crime is involved?

stilettos
09-27-2009, 06:40 PM
Can a DNA test be forced on an adult for paternity if no crime is involved?

I do not know....I am under the impression that Gloria Alred will attempt to force the testing if neccessary. The children should not be forced into any relationship that they are not ready for either. Emotionally they are fragile...right now they do not need the complication.

JBean
09-27-2009, 06:45 PM
I do not know....I am under the impression that Gloria Alred will attempt to force the testing if neccessary. The children should not be forced into any relationship that they are not ready for either. Emotionally they are fragile...right now they do not need the complication.
Can you link to where Glo or Slayton say they will force a paternity test and then force a relationship on Jayee and her daughters please? I am just trying understand if the actual facts are being discussed here. I am only questioning our understanding of events.

stilettos
09-27-2009, 06:52 PM
I do not know....I am under the impression that Gloria Alred will attempt to force the testing if neccessary. The children should not be forced into any relationship that they are not ready for either. Emotionally they are fragile...right now they do not need the complication.

Can you link to where Glo or Slayton say they will force a paternity test and then force a relationship on Jayee and her daughters please? I am just trying understand if the actual facts are being discussed here. I am only questioning our understanding of events.

BBM No JBean, i do not have a link. As i said...I am under that impression...from past evidence with Gloria Alred...she does not ask...she usually impels. If the post is against TOS, I will gladly remove it.

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 07:01 PM
A legal question for whom and at what point?

I don't try to speak for anyone but I think what Natal is trying to say is, the courts may decide that Jaycee's children have a right to know if Mr. Slayton is their biological grandfather should it ever be taken to court. While they may not wish to exercise that right is another issue completely because the courts may decide it is in their best interest in the long run to know if he, in fact, is their grandfather.

I would also like to point out the imbalance of this survey, as there are 2 options for yes and only 1 for no. In the long run, no matter what any one person has to say about it, it should ultimately be up to Jaycee and her girls, though. Especially since theirs are the only lives that will be affected by it in the end.

kbl8201
09-27-2009, 07:21 PM
this is absolute nonsense.........how can slayton claim he has grandparent rights when he never excercised his parental rights??

JBean
09-27-2009, 07:35 PM
BBM No JBean, i do not have a link. As i said...I am under that impression...from past evidence with Gloria Alred...she does not ask...she usually impels. If the post is against TOS, I will gladly remove it.TOS?
Oh no need to remove it Stillettos! I am just trying to understand what the facts are. I am no fan of Glo generally speaking, but even she can't impel anyone to do something that they are not legally required to do.

I am trying to understand if he actually can bring legal action to force paternity testing and even if he were able to do that can he force a relationship? My understanding of CA grandparent rights is that they are mainly based on bond.

I do not know what Slayton can and cannot do.
So if he cannot force paternity testing I don't see the issue. If he can do it based on grandparent standing, I just want to understand that.

Evan's Mom
09-27-2009, 07:36 PM
this is absolute nonsense.........how can slayton claim he has grandparent rights when he never excercised his parental rights?? seriously, i have to wonder what is going on on this board.

Why do say that?
What does Jaycee's biological father wanting to establish paternity have to do with "what is going on on this board".
Can you clarify exactly what you mean by that statement?

stilettos
09-27-2009, 07:39 PM
TOS?
Oh no need to remove it Stillettos! I am just trying to understand what the facts are. I am no fan of Glo generally speaking, but even she can't impel anyone to do something that they are not legally required to do.

I am trying to understand if he actually can bring legal action to force paternity testing and even if he were able to do that can he force a relationship? My understanding of CA grandparent rights is that they are mainly based on bond.

I do not know what Slayton can and cannot do.
So if he cannot force paternity testing I don't see the issue. If he can do it based on grandparent standing, I just want to understand that.

I am not sure of the legal issues regarding Grandparents rights...nor what State would actually have jurisdiction...assuming it would be CA? Researching that area would be my next option. I hope that her bioDad gives her time and makes a request, not a legal demand. Hopefully Gloria will be subtle in her dealings with this case. LOL

kbl8201
09-27-2009, 07:40 PM
TOS?
Oh no need to remove it Stillettos! I am just trying to understand what the facts are. I am no fan of Glo generally speaking, but even she can't impel anyone to do something that they are not legally required to do.

I am trying to understand if he actually can bring legal action to force paternity testing and even if he were able to do that can he force a relationship? My understanding of CA grandparent rights is that they are mainly based on bond.

I do not know what Slayton can and cannot do.
So if he cannot force paternity testing I don't see the issue. If he can do it based on grandparent standing, I just want to understand that.

what is his objective? if he establishes paternity in court he'd be liable to pay back child support from birth to 11 years old........maybe if he starts paying her instead of demanding things from her i'd take a diffrent view of him.

JBean
09-27-2009, 07:46 PM
what is his objective? if he establishes paternity in court he'd be liable to pay back child support from birth to 11 years old........maybe if he starts paying her instead of demanding things from her i'd take a diffrent view of him.
Maybe that's what he is going to do, I just don't think we know yet.
I have no position on this issue yet because I do not know what he can or cannot do and what his motivation is.

if we were to find out that he wanted to make things right, help the girls financially as much as possible ,try to right his wrongs and let them set the pace,then more power to him.

if he is forcing an unwanted relationship on these girls then he is self centered and will hopefully be shut down in a big way.

So the facts of this situation will strongly influence my take on this topic.

Openmind
09-27-2009, 07:46 PM
Can you link to where Glo or Slayton say they will force a paternity test and then force a relationship on Jayee and her daughters please? I am just trying understand if the actual facts are being discussed here. I am only questioning our understanding of events.

Only my opinion, and it is a matter of perception, but taking this first to the press without first attempting to privately contact Jaycee's representatives about his parental rights, is a form of pressure. I think he knew the response would be to buzz off so he went to the public with his appeal.

Since he has never exercised any legal claim nor publicly acknowledged Jaycee as his child, I can't see were he has the right to ask for anything. And that includes the grandchildren. I hate to think of his weepy reunion and the explanation of how he never in 28 years made any attempt to know Jaycee or helped look for her to suddenly now be overwhelmed with parental love. They don't need his baggage at this time, if ever.

kbl8201
09-27-2009, 07:52 PM
Only my opinion, and it is a matter of perception, but taking this first to the press without first attempting to privately contact Jaycee's representatives about his parental rights, is a form of pressure. I think he knew the response would be to buzz off so he went to the public with his appeal.

Since he has never exercised any legal claim nor publicly acknowledged Jaycee as his child, I can't see were he has the right to ask for anything. And that includes the grandchildren. I hate to think of his weepy reunion and the explanation of how he never in 28 years made any attempt to know Jaycee or helped look for her to suddenly now be overwhelmed with parental love. They don't need his baggage at this time, if ever.

the part about not helping look for her is intriguing. i mean........before august 26/27th this year did he even wonder if she was still alive? his daughters (jaycee's half sisters) from there interview seem to have been told she was dead. granted 18 years is a long time to keep hope (even carl has admitted he was thinking of recovery rather then rescue) but did he care at the time she dissappeared? 15 years ago? 10? 5?

JBean
09-27-2009, 08:13 PM
the part about not helping look for her is intriguing. i mean........before august 26/27th this year did he even wonder if she was still alive? his daughters (jaycee's half sisters) from there interview seem to have been told she was dead. granted 18 years is a long time to keep hope (even carl has admitted he was thinking of recovery rather then rescue) but did he care at the time she dissappeared? 15 years ago? 10? 5?
He said in one interview that he followed that case. Terry named him as the father when Jaycee was kidnapped and did cooperate with authorities at that time.

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 08:15 PM
what is his objective? if he establishes paternity in court he'd be liable to pay back child support from birth to 11 years old........maybe if he starts paying her instead of demanding things from her i'd take a diffrent view of him.

How can you be so sure he hasn't already made a contribution to Jaycee? I would hope he wouldn't announce it if he has. If he did announce that he had, you'd be mad that he felt the need to announce it. I would be VERY surprised if he hasn't already PRIVATELY sent money. It would actually be foolish of him not to when you really think about it.....

Openmind
09-27-2009, 08:21 PM
He said in one interview that he followed that case. Terry named him as the father when Jaycee was kidnapped and did cooperate with authorities at that time.

I am sure a lot of people followed the case. We have heard from friends, neighbors, teachers, etc. and many of them actively looked for her. Did he ever do more than just follow the case? The FBI spoke directly to him and if this had been my child, I would have said, I want to keep in touch and be informed -- also, what can I do to help?

JBean
09-27-2009, 08:27 PM
I am sure a lot of people followed the case. We have heard from friends, neighbors, teachers, etc. and many of them actively looked for her. Did he ever do more than just follow the case? The FBI spoke directly to him and if this had been my child, I would have said, I want to keep in touch and be informed -- also, what can I do to help?
I have no idea which is why I posted what I did. That's all the info I have.

Natal
09-27-2009, 08:38 PM
Can a DNA test be forced on an adult for paternity if no crime is involved?

I imagine it can in a case like this where grandchildren are involved and the mother has claimed paternity at one point (and she must have, or Slayton wouldnt have been investigated).

Natal
09-27-2009, 08:40 PM
I am sure a lot of people followed the case. We have heard from friends, neighbors, teachers, etc. and many of them actively looked for her. Did he ever do more than just follow the case? The FBI spoke directly to him and if this had been my child, I would have said, I want to keep in touch and be informed -- also, what can I do to help?

I doubt they would have done that, because he wasn't listed as the father on the birth certificate. They would have investigated and then left. They wouldn't have kept him updated.

Openmind
09-27-2009, 08:44 PM
How can you be so sure he hasn't already made a contribution to Jaycee? I would hope he wouldn't announce it if he has. If he did announce that he had, you'd be mad that he felt the need to announce it. I would be VERY surprised if he hasn't already PRIVATELY sent money. It would actually be foolish of him not to when you really think about it.....

Tizzle, my biggest objection is he should have done all of this privately, and he should have waited. If he is sincerely this passionate to contact Jaycee, he should have seeked help on when and how. Not sure Allred would have advised him to wait.

The first comments I read from him were more about being angry at Garrido. Just after she was recovered, he was inrerviewed in his front yard. He said Jaycee's eleven year old picture looked just like him at that age. He didn't talk about his long ago promise to be a better dad. So, what a surprise when he popped up last week with Allred crying and wanting a paternity test. Why did he suddenly become so concered about her welfare in three weeks.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/09/03/jaycee-lee-dugard-s-dad-vows-i-ll-kill-sick-animal-who-took-my-jaycee-115875-21643636/

Openmind
09-27-2009, 08:48 PM
I doubt they would have done that, because he wasn't listed as the father on the birth certificate. They would have investigated and then left. They wouldn't have kept him updated.

No sure about that. They came to him and I am sure if he had acted concerned they would have spoken with him when he called.

Otherwise, he could have swallowed his pride and contacted Terry.

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 09:09 PM
Tizzle, my biggest objection is he should have done all of this privately, and he should have waited. If he is sincerely this passionate to contact Jaycee, he should have seeked help on when and how. Not sure Allred would have advised him to wait.

The first comments I read from him were more about being angry at Garrido. Just after she was recovered, he was inrerviewed in his front yard. He said Jaycee's eleven year old picture looked just like him at that age. He didn't talk about his long ago promise to be a better dad. So, what a surprise when he popped up last week with Allred crying and wanting a paternity test. Why did he suddenly become so concered about her welfare in three weeks.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/09/03/jaycee-lee-dugard-s-dad-vows-i-ll-kill-sick-animal-who-took-my-jaycee-115875-21643636/

Yes, I first saw this article a couple of weeks ago.
I don't know....
Overwhelmed, maybe, about having a camera shoved in his face unexpectedly while he's shirtless, working on his truck in his front yard and didn't have time to think about the perfect thing to say to make people give him a chance? I'm sure that would rattle even the sturdiest of minds. Displaying anger towards the Garridos was his snap reaction to an uncomfortable situation and also could be viewed as an expression of concern about her welfare, possibly? Maybe he is easily rattled and felt it better to seek legal counsel before he became a victim of foot in mouth syndrome? Jaycee is in seclusion and no one knows how to reach her so he retained legal counsel to do legwork? Maybe they didn't feel confident that any such "private" message that you suggest would ever make it to Jaycee so the obvious best alternative is to go public in the hopes that one day Jaycee will get his message?
Maybe? Yes?

Openmind
09-27-2009, 09:30 PM
Yes, I first saw this article a couple of weeks ago.
I don't know....
Overwhelmed, maybe, about having a camera shoved in his face unexpectedly while he's shirtless, working on his truck in his front yard and didn't have time to think about the perfect thing to say to make people give him a chance? I'm sure that would rattle even the sturdiest of minds. Displaying anger towards the Garridos was his snap reaction to an uncomfortable situation and also could be viewed as an expression of concern about her welfare, possibly? Maybe he is easily rattled and felt it better to seek legal counsel before he became a victim of foot in mouth syndrome? Jaycee is in seclusion and no one knows how to reach her so he retained legal counsel to do legwork? Maybe they didn't feel confident that any such "private" message that you suggest would ever make it to Jaycee so the obvious best alternative is to go public in the hopes that one day Jaycee will get his message?
Maybe? Yes?

Trutuhfully, I had more respect for the guy when he was shooting from the hip.

I have no doubt his message would have made it to Jaycee had he done this privately. Lawyers know how to do these things, and Allred certainly knows her way around. I am sure he was concerned any request for a meeting would be rejected, but I don't think he has improved his chances by going public.

He is a stranger to not only Jaycee and the girls but to everyone else including Terry. He had no connection to any of these people before she was kidnapped and made no contact after she was gone. It is a crowded enough field as it is without a virtual stranger wanting to be treated like family.

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 10:26 PM
Trutuhfully, I had more respect for the guy when he was shooting from the hip.

I have no doubt his message would have made it to Jaycee had he done this privately. Lawyers know how to do these things, and Allred certainly knows her way around. I am sure he was concerned any request for a meeting would be rejected, but I don't think he has improved his chances by going public.

He is a stranger to not only Jaycee and the girls but to everyone else including Terry. He had no connection to any of these people before she was kidnapped and made no contact after she was gone. It is a crowded enough field as it is without a virtual stranger wanting to be treated like family.

BBM
What is it that makes you so certain any private message to Jaycee from Mr. Slayton wouldn't be intercepted and swept under a rug? Do you know what Terry's opinion of him his? Do you know for certain that she isn't the one that wanted him absent from Jaycee's life and maybe still does? It is entirely possible, no? Just because Glo knows her way around doesn't mean the people surrounding Jaycee don't know how to keep secrets. Maybe he did first try to the private approach but for whatever reason didn't feel confident that the message would meet it's destination. Also possible.

BTW, you state that he was probably afraid he would get rejected by doing it privately. So explain to me how a seemingly rational human being would expect a different result by going public? The scenario that he was afraid of rejection just doesn't make sense, I'm pretty sure that Gloria is intelligent enough to know that a camera won't produce a different result but probably a more adverse one that to begin with. Don't you think?

txsvicki
09-27-2009, 10:35 PM
I figure there's already dna on file somewhere that was compared to Jaycee's Mom, so the Dad should be able to access it just to make sure. However, I don't think he should have publicly said that he wasn't sure years ago that the baby was his or if the baby was even going to be kept.

Imbackon
09-27-2009, 10:39 PM
Slayton is free to take a DNA test if he wishes but he cannot force JC to have a test.
Imagine you personally are 29 years old and a former neighbor, anyone really comes along and wants to see if you are their child. Do you really think that legally you could be forced to comply with said request?
Now pretend you are deceased and worth a fortune and leaving no heirs? Think he could do that?
Pretend DNA is proved even serreptiously the courts still would not put a parents name on the certificate belatedly. In other words there would be no point in the test as Mr. Slayton missed the boat by not attempting to exercise his rights the first 18 years of JC's Life or until Jc was adopted by another man. If she had been adopted by Mr. Probyn he only had a limited amount of time to contest that even. He actually didn't even have 18 full years because he had good reason to know it was possible he was her father (not like he met her mom, had a 1 night stand, and never saw or heard from her again in other words).
Biology is not much when the rights to your biological child are not exercised. It is not an endlessly open door and for good reason.

ps. PRETEND A MAN NAMED CHARLES MANSON, TRIED TO FORCE CHILDREN OF HIS FORMER GROUPIES, to take dna, do you think the courts would make you submit? No absolutely not, because as an adult you actually have a right to NOT know who your biological parent is, and that overides any percieved right on the part of ANY possbile biological father. The court is not going to side with Slayton if this became a legal action, no way.

i.b.nora
09-27-2009, 10:44 PM
Can you link to where Glo or Slayton say they will force a paternity test and then force a relationship on Jayee and her daughters please? I am just trying understand if the actual facts are being discussed here. I am only questioning our understanding of events.
http://www.mercurynews.com/california/ci_13404645

Jaycee Dugard case: Man who says he is Dugard's father pleads for reunion

By Molly Hennessy-Fiske
Los Angeles Times
Posted: 09/24/2009 12:01:00 AM PDT

"Allred said Slayton wants to get in touch with Dugard or a family representative to arrange a private meeting and a confidential paternity test. If the family does not consent to the test, she said Slayton may take legal action."

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 10:54 PM
I think Jaycee might want some closure in that area of her life. I think she might want to know so the lingering question that she's probably asked herself many times over the years can finally be answered. "Who is my real daddy?" or something along those lines has possibly entered her train of thought more than once over the last 3 decades. It makes perfect sense that she would want to know. Who wouldn't? Wouldn't you want to know? I would. Why should Jaycee feel any different than most people would? So, I would be surprised if she doesn't respond or hasn't already responded to his message in some form.

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 11:03 PM
http://www.mercurynews.com/california/ci_13404645

Jaycee Dugard case: Man who says he is Dugard's father pleads for reunion

By Molly Hennessy-Fiske
Los Angeles Times
Posted: 09/24/2009 12:01:00 AM PDT

"Allred said Slayton wants to get in touch with Dugard or a family representative to arrange a private meeting and a confidential paternity test. If the family does not consent to the test, she said Slayton may take legal action."

When I first read this the other day, it instantly raised my suspicions that Mr. Slayton may have already tried to make contact privately but was met with strong opposition. The quote also says "may take legal action" not "will take legal action". Very different.

JBean
09-27-2009, 11:05 PM
http://www.mercurynews.com/california/ci_13404645

Jaycee Dugard case: Man who says he is Dugard's father pleads for reunion

By Molly Hennessy-Fiske
Los Angeles Times
Posted: 09/24/2009 12:01:00 AM PDT

"Allred said Slayton wants to get in touch with Dugard or a family representative to arrange a private meeting and a confidential paternity test. If the family does not consent to the test, she said Slayton may take legal action."
Thanks IBN. I have seen that, but I am not sure what legal action they would take. That's why I am trying to understand if they can force a paternity test and if they can't what legal action are they going to take?

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 11:09 PM
ps. PRETEND A MAN NAMED CHARLES MANSON, TRIED TO FORCE CHILDREN OF HIS FORMER GROUPIES, to take dna, do you think the courts would make you submit? No absolutely not, because as an adult you actually have a right to NOT know who your biological parent is, and that overides any percieved right on the part of ANY possbile biological father. The court is not going to side with Slayton if this became a legal action, no way.

snipped

Except Jaycee might actually want to know. And Mr. Slayton is absolutely not comparable, at all, to Charles Manson. PERIOD.

Imbackon
09-27-2009, 11:09 PM
Different states have different time limits, but no Mr. Slayton would not be liable for 11 years of back child support.
You can only go back a few years basically, UNLESS they evaded payment on a previously court ordered payment. Since it appears MS. Probyn never asked for support (if she had paternity would have had to have been established first), no one can go back and try to recoup any monies.
I know this subject as I received a lump sum child support settlement for my 30 year old daughter only 3 years ago.

Imbackon
09-27-2009, 11:18 PM
snipped

Except Jaycee might actually want to know. And Mr. Slayton is absolutely not comparable, at all, to Charles Manson. PERIOD.

I am not comparing Slayton to Charles Manson.
Neither are the courts going to take up the time to decide the "worthyness" of Slaytons legal fatherhood if he so requests. That is the whole point. Courts don't like to get involved in matters like this, and unless you are talking about a childs right to have a legal father or mother and that time has passed passed passed.

If Jc wants to know, NO COURT ACTION FOR DNA would be necessary now would it.

It is simple, if JC WANTS TO KNOW, no court action is required. If JC does not want nor care to know, NO ONE CAN MAKE HER FIND OUT.
Her rights supercede any percieved right of Slaytons. Wouldn't you rather have it that way, or would you like to live in a country where folks can go around making you take DNA tests? Your DNA is yours, unless you are being forced to take DNA due to criminal actions,

Tizzle
09-27-2009, 11:22 PM
I am not comparing Slayton to Charles Manson.
Neither are the courts going to take up the time to decide the "worthyness" of Slaytons legal fatherhood if he so requests. That is the whole point. Courts don't like to get involved in matters like this, and unless you are talking about a childs right to have a legal father or mother and that time has passed passed passed.

If Jc wants to know, NO COURT ACTION FOR DNA would be necessary now would it.

It is simple, if JC WANTS TO KNOW, no court action is required. If JC does not want nor care to know, NO ONE CAN MAKE HER FIND OUT.
Her rights supercede any percieved right of Slaytons. Wouldn't you rather have it that way, or would you like to live in a country where folks can go around making you take DNA tests? Your DNA is yours, unless you are being forced to take DNA due to criminal actions,

BBM
Where in the world would you get the idea that that is my line of thinking? Do you even read any of my posts before you type? Where do I ever say that I think Jaycee should be forced to do anything? I mean, really.

Jaycee probably already gave DNA when her identity was discovered to determine her maternity to the girls. You think it was her idea or do you think someone else told her she had to? So, in a sense, she was forced to then.

mysteriew
09-27-2009, 11:26 PM
I don't know if she can be forced to submit to a paternity test or not. But somehow I doubt it. How many times have we seen adults who have claimed that a celebrity was their absent father? And often there is no resolution to the question of their parentage, unless the alleged father in question would agree to a DNA test. So I would guess there might be a statute of limitations on that. But why would GA make threats if she knew there was a limit on when a paternity action could be taken?

mysteriew
09-27-2009, 11:29 PM
Different states have different time limits, but no Mr. Slayton would not be liable for 11 years of back child support.
You can only go back a few years basically, UNLESS they evaded payment on a previously court ordered payment. Since it appears MS. Probyn never asked for support (if she had paternity would have had to have been established first), no one can go back and try to recoup any monies.
I know this subject as I received a lump sum child support settlement for my 30 year old daughter only 3 years ago.

Many states allow the child to sue for paternity when they attain the age of majority, if the mother didn't establish paternity. But Jaycee was still in captivity when she turned 18. So it is possible the court might make an exception because of that.

kbl8201
09-27-2009, 11:33 PM
How can you be so sure he hasn't already made a contribution to Jaycee? I would hope he wouldn't announce it if he has. If he did announce that he had, you'd be mad that he felt the need to announce it. I would be VERY surprised if he hasn't already PRIVATELY sent money. It would actually be foolish of him not to when you really think about it.....
if that's his motiation then why does he need the mouthpiece

kbl8201
09-27-2009, 11:36 PM
When I first read this the other day, it instantly raised my suspicions that Mr. Slayton may have already tried to make contact privately but was met with strong opposition. The quote also says "may take legal action" not "will take legal action". Very different.

really? cause to me it sounds like "do it my way or i'll take you to court". it's an implied threat. and it's his lawyer issuing it. and she's acting on his behalf. maybe he thinks she's still 11 and thinks he's actually taking her mom to court. i dont know. but she's not a kid anymore. he'd have to take her to court to get her to take the paternity test

Imbackon
09-28-2009, 12:01 AM
Many states allow the child to sue for paternity when they attain the age of majority, if the mother didn't establish paternity. But Jaycee was still in captivity when she turned 18. So it is possible the court might make an exception because of that.


That may be true regarding the child's right to a parent, makes sense, but we are talking about whether Slayton has the right at this point in time to have paternity decided, not JC's rights to any court action.

Slayton was not denied his right he just choose to ignore it, which is quite different. Since he had reason to believe he may be a parent, the onus was on him to file for paternity.
When folks say, "he lost touch", this is no excuse. He could still have had legal avenues to enforce his rights as a parent.
If he had pursued this in almost any way while she was a child, i would go along with the possibility of his chances of having himself named her father, but I have not read anything yet that appears to suggest he did.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 12:14 AM
He said in one interview that he followed that case. Terry named him as the father when Jaycee was kidnapped and did cooperate with authorities at that time.

he cooperated with authorities only to clear his own name.
to no one's knowledge did he ever do anything to help carl or terry find her.
and the reason the authorties dismissed him as a suspect, other then they had carl set up in the lee harvey oswald role, was the fact they realized he didnt give two cents about her

JBean
09-28-2009, 12:18 AM
he cooperated with authorities only to clear his own name.
to no one's knowledge did he ever do anything to help carl or terry find her.
and the reason the authorties dismissed him as a suspect, other then they had carl set up in the lee harvey oswald role, was the fact they realized he didnt give two cents about her
I didn't have any of that information. thank you. I was only reporting what information I had.

Imbackon
09-28-2009, 12:25 AM
BBM
Where in the world would you get the idea that that is my line of thinking? Do you even read any of my posts before you type? Where do I ever say that I think Jaycee should be forced to do anything? I mean, really.

Jaycee probably already gave DNA when her identity was discovered to determine her maternity to the girls. You think it was her idea or do you think someone else told her she had to? So, in a sense, she was forced to then.

If I am not mistaken this whole thread is about whether jc can be made to take dna and was not speaking to you directly until you said, maybe she wants to take DNA (which makes the question moot), and regarding my "comparison" to Manson. I was not comparing Manson to Slayton, Manson and Slayton would be equal in the eyes of the law, I was just showing WHY someone may choose to not know dna results, with Manson being a good example of why someone would NOT want to know.

I don't get your statement about JC and daughters. Are you saying you think she did DNA testing voluntarily or was forced? there is no "in a sense" about it, either one would be forced or volunteer. They may volunteer because they are forced by circumstance, but that is a very different thing.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 12:28 AM
I didn't have any of that information. thank you. I was only reporting what information I had.

its ok. your trying to be unbias. i respect that. im very cynical when it comes to stuff like this cause of my own father situation. lets just say if my dad poppped up after 30 years (a strange connection here, since athat's how long my dad is out of the picture so far0 and asked/requested/demanded a meeting id tell him to pound dirt.......but like i've said, its up to jaycee. not us, and certianly not him

Natal
09-28-2009, 12:35 AM
I don't know if she can be forced to submit to a paternity test or not. But somehow I doubt it. How many times have we seen adults who have claimed that a celebrity was their absent father? And often there is no resolution to the question of their parentage, unless the alleged father in question would agree to a DNA test. So I would guess there might be a statute of limitations on that. But why would GA make threats if she knew there was a limit on when a paternity action could be taken?

Since she deals with these things, she probably has a pretty clear idea of what can and can't be done. I think that that it will come down to a petition for visitation rights with the grandchildren, and a DNA test to establish lineage will be requested from the court on the basis of the prior allegation of paternity made when Jaycee was originally kidnapped. Without that allegation GA likely wouldnt be able to make a case for doing the test since there would be insufficient basis for claiming lineage. But, the claim was made, so there is a reasonable evidentiary trail to support such a petition, whether a DNA test is done or not. If Jaycee refuses to take the DNA test (which would likely result in a contempt charge, if she had been ordered to do so), the court may order visitation anyway on that basis.

But I don't think any of that will happen. More likely the opposing sides will puff up their chests a little for a while, and then do the right thing through a settlement (which we will never hear about).

Natal
09-28-2009, 12:39 AM
I don't get your statement about JC and daughters. Are you saying you think she did DNA testing voluntarily or was forced? there is no "in a sense" about it, either one would be forced or volunteer. They may volunteer because they are forced by circumstance, but that is a very different thing.

I think her DNA was taken when she was recovered to prove that she was who she said she was, so LE would have that. LE criminal evidence isnt subject to a third party civil suit (I think), so they probably wouldnt be able to get it from that source.

JBean
09-28-2009, 12:57 AM
California Family Code lets grandparents file for visitation:
∑ If one of the child’s parents has died.
∑ If the grandchild’s parents are no married, separated, or divorced.
∑ During custody proceedings.
∑ If the child is not living with either parent.

However:
∑ There must be a pre-established grandparent-grandchild relationship.
∑ Visits cannot get in the way of a parent’s own visitations.
∑ Visits must be in the best interest of the grandchild.

http://www.californiafamilylawblog.com/2006/11/for_grandparent_visitation_thr_1.html


ETA: I am wondering if that is just oversimplifed, so here's the actual code.There is most likely some good reading in here:
http://law.justia.com/california/codes/fam/3100-3105.html

Natal
09-28-2009, 01:15 AM
The relevant code is as follows:

3104. (a) On petition to the court by a grandparent of a minor
child, the court may grant reasonable visitation rights to the
grandparent if the court does both of the following:
(1) Finds that there is a preexisting relationship between the
grandparent and the grandchild that has engendered a bond such that
visitation is in the best interest of the child.
(2) Balances the interest of the child in having visitation with
the grandparent against the right of the parents to exercise their
parental authority.

On the surface that may make such a petition unlikely to succeed (it could however still be filed), but the petitioners could claim that because of the circumstances of the case (specifically the forcible confinement as a result of a criminal act), 3104(a)(1) doesnt apply in this particular case.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 01:16 AM
California Family Code lets grandparents file for visitation:
∑ If one of the childís parents has died.
∑ If the grandchildís parents are no married, separated, or divorced.
∑ During custody proceedings.
∑ If the child is not living with either parent.

However:
∑ There must be a pre-established grandparent-grandchild relationship.
∑ Visits cannot get in the way of a parentís own visitations.
∑ Visits must be in the best interest of the grandchild.

http://www.californiafamilylawblog.com/2006/11/for_grandparent_visitation_thr_1.html


ETA: I am wondering if that is just oversimplifed, so here's the actual code.There is most likely some good reading in here:
http://law.justia.com/california/codes/fam/3100-3105.html

he's pretty much screwed then. good.
unless he gets it moved to minny......or whatever rock he crawled out from under

Natal
09-28-2009, 01:24 AM
Another unusual aspect of this case is that the mother herself did not excercise parental authority over the children, it was the father and his wife. The children regarded their mother as their sister. So, would it be possible to make an argument that Jaycee isn't the mother from a legal point of view as well?

Openmind
09-28-2009, 01:25 AM
If Jaycee declines his request, surely this man would not force himself on her and the girls this way. I hope all this legal talk is just forum babble because if he did take this to that level, he truly is self centered. No way can he truly care about Jaycee or his new found grandchildren and put them through those kind of proceedings.

Imbackon
09-28-2009, 01:28 AM
he's pretty much screwed then. good.
unless he gets it moved to minny......or whatever rock he crawled out from under

KB what is Minny? I am from Minnesota, and I hope you don't mean there!

Imbackon
09-28-2009, 01:30 AM
Another unusual aspect of this case is that the mother herself did not excercise parental authority over the children, it was the father and his wife. The children regarded their mother as their sister. So, would it be possible to make an argument that Jaycee isn't the mother from a legal point of view as well?

Nope.

JBean
09-28-2009, 01:32 AM
If Jaycee declines his request, surely this man would not force himself on her and the girls this way. I hope all this legal talk is just forum babble because if he did take this to that level, he truly is self centered. No way can he truly care about Jaycee or his new found grandchildren and put them through those kind of proceedings.
This is exactly how I see it. that is why I am trying to understand what his intent truly is.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 01:40 AM
KB what is Minny? I am from Minnesota, and I hope you don't mean there!

i thought slayton lived in minnesota.
what i meant though, was what rock he crawled out from in minnesota lol or wherever he lives

Natal
09-28-2009, 01:42 AM
Nope.

No, I think you are wrong. It's a reasonable argument that does make this case different.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 01:45 AM
If Jaycee declines his request, surely this man would not force himself on her and the girls this way. I hope all this legal talk is just forum babble because if he did take this to that level, he truly is self centered. No way can he truly care about Jaycee or his new found grandchildren and put them through those kind of proceedings.


i dont get why he needs the mouthpiece lawyer. if his motives were good i woudl think he would come out and say "no my lawyers is wrong, im not forcing legal action here" but of course he hasnt. no need to hire a lawyer UNLESS your going to take action

Natal
09-28-2009, 01:49 AM
If Jaycee declines his request, surely this man would not force himself on her and the girls this way. I hope all this legal talk is just forum babble because if he did take this to that level, he truly is self centered. No way can he truly care about Jaycee or his new found grandchildren and put them through those kind of proceedings.

The counterargument would be that if Jaycee really cared about her kids, she wouldn't either. Which is why I think both parties will reach a settlement before a court gets involved. This stuff we are seeing now is posturing because the two families don't like each other (which doesnt involve Jaycee herself - she is caught in the crossfire, and may not even be aware of all of this). But in the end they will compromise, they have to.

Natal
09-28-2009, 01:50 AM
i dont get why he needs the mouthpiece lawyer. if his motives were good i woudl think he would come out and say "no my lawyers is wrong, im not forcing legal action here" but of course he hasnt. no need to hire a lawyer UNLESS your going to take action

The most likely reason is that he is being stonewalled by the Probyns.

pittsburghgirl
09-28-2009, 03:29 AM
Jaycee's an adult. She doesn't have to submit to DNA testing in order to satisfy this man's sudden urge to be her "father." Let's just say his timing is very bad.

athy
09-28-2009, 03:57 AM
i too think his timing is wrong and he needs to wait for any talk of DNA. but in reading everyone talking about this and how he hasn't had anything to do with jaycee there seems to be something that at least some have forgotten. according to what he said he never KNEW jaycee's mom was pregnant with her and that she could be his child until AFTER jaycee was abducted. if this is true and he didn't know she existed how was he to have anything to do with her? and once he found out she was already gone...how was he to then?

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 05:15 AM
i too think his timing is wrong and he needs to wait for any talk of DNA. but in reading everyone talking about this and how he hasn't had anything to do with jaycee there seems to be something that at least some have forgotten. according to what he said he never KNEW jaycee's mom was pregnant with her and that she could be his child until AFTER jaycee was abducted. if this is true and he didn't know she existed how was he to have anything to do with her? and once he found out she was already gone...how was he to then?

this is wrong. terry called him up when she found out and todl him. and then she called him up after she had the baby and told him jaycee looked just like him. he just claimed she wasnt his.

meep meep
09-28-2009, 05:32 AM
there simply is not enough information currently available to vote in this poll.
We don't know why he is seeking to establish paternity.

I do not believe that when Allred says they "may take further action", that that is what this guy intends to do. She may have said that in response to a direct question from the press.

The guy needs a mouthpiece for the same reason everyone else involved needs one -- it's a complicated, serious business. What kind of [person] would walk into that arena and informally ask about paternity? seriously....

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 06:19 AM
there simply is not enough information currently available to vote in this poll.
We don't know why he is seeking to establish paternity.

I do not believe that when Allred says they "may take further action", that that is what this guy intends to do. She may have said that in response to a direct question from the press.

The guy needs a mouthpiece for the same reason everyone else involved needs one -- it's a complicated, serious business. What kind of moron would walk into that arena and informally ask about paternity? seriously....

what kind of [person]wants to put the daughter he allegedly cares about thru more problems just to alieve his own guilt for his own failures?

Openmind
09-28-2009, 07:48 AM
The counterargument would be that if Jaycee really cared about her kids, she wouldn't either. Which is why I think both parties will reach a settlement before a court gets involved. This stuff we are seeing now is posturing because the two families don't like each other (which doesnt involve Jaycee herself - she is caught in the crossfire, and may not even be aware of all of this). But in the end they will compromise, they have to.

How do you know the two families dislike each other? How do you know Jaycee is caught in the middle? And why does Jaycee's family have to compromise for anything? This man literally comes out the blue with this bizarre claim after showing zippo interest in his child for 28 years. Now, he wants to be grandfather? That implies he still has zippo interest in Jaycee and if I was her family I would resent the heck out of that, but I don't know any of that is true.

Truthfully, I don't see any posturing on either side. Slayton made a request; Jaycee's family declined to comment except to say they were surprised by his request. My comments are directed only at the Slayton's possible motives, but if he is determined to turn this into a battle then his motives are strictly self-serving. Jaycee and the girls do not need, or deserve, to be in the middle of a paternity "fight" if that is what you want to call it. Haven't they had enough trauma in their lives without this?

If Slayton insist on pushing this, and he does get a meeting, he better be in for the long haul. He can't bring them down to his home, give them a party, and when the relationship becomes work, and all relationships become work, he better not decide then it is more than he bargained for. Jaycee and the girls need/demand only those committed to their well-being and recovery -- not pop in and out do-gooders.

kbl8201:

what kind of [person] wants to put the daughter he allegedly cares about thru more problems just to alieve his own guilt for his own failures?

Absolutely and to imply if Jaycee loved her children she would do whatever this man she has never met, never known, never had a minute to spare before she was rescued, is cruel.

JBean
09-28-2009, 10:10 AM
this is wrong. terry called him up when she found out and todl him. and then she called him up after she had the baby and told him jaycee looked just like him. he just claimed she wasnt his.
I have read conflicting reports as to how this went down. Do you have a link to your info kbl8201? thanks in advance.

Tizzle
09-28-2009, 10:24 AM
i thought slayton lived in minnesota.
what i meant though, was what rock he crawled out from in minnesota lol or wherever he lives

He lives somewhere in SoCal, I think outside of L.A. Nowhere near Minnesota.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 10:29 AM
I have read conflicting reports as to how this went down. Do you have a link to your info kbl8201? thanks in advance.
he claimed the parts about her caling him after she was born in his little interview here that was quoted a few pages back.
the part about terry calling him when she found out she was pregnant has been aroud for years i think

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 10:40 AM
He lives somewhere in SoCal, I think outside of L.A. Nowhere near Minnesota.

thanks for the clarification tizzle :)
for some reason i thought i read minnesota lol

Tizzle
09-28-2009, 10:41 AM
this is wrong. terry called him up when she found out and todl him. and then she called him up after she had the baby and told him jaycee looked just like him. he just claimed she wasnt his.

This is also wrong. It's been reported that Terry called him only ONCE about 2 weeks after their affair to tell him that she was pregnant. After Jaycee was born, the mutual friend called him to inform him that Terry had given birth and that the baby looked like him. Terry didn't make that call.

BBM
You have no idea, just like the rest of us, whether his claims were for or against his parentage. He stated that after the phone call from Terry he didn't know what her plans were as far keeping the baby or not. Terry may have not wanted his involvement and could have stated this in the one phone call she made to him which would explain why he didn't know if she was keeping the baby or not. Maybe he decided to respect her wishes in order to not "rock the boat". Not a great decision, by any means, but a possibility for sure. None of us know, for certain, what went on. But she could have called him initially because she knew he would find out from the mutual friend that she was pregnant, anyway. So, maybe she wanted to save him and herself any uncomfortable "why didn't I find this out from you?" phone calls by just calling him herself and stating her intentions/uncertainty of her intentions.

stilettos
09-28-2009, 10:44 AM
Another unusual aspect of this case is that the mother herself did not excercise parental authority over the children, it was the father and his wife. The children regarded their mother as their sister. So, would it be possible to make an argument that Jaycee isn't the mother from a legal point of view as well?

No I do not believe that that argument would be successful. Jaycee's lack of parental authority over the girls was arguably forced by the kidnappers. Arguments could be floated that she is not legally their Mother...but I do not believe they will hold water with a Judge.

stilettos
09-28-2009, 10:54 AM
How can you be so sure he hasn't already made a contribution to Jaycee? I would hope he wouldn't announce it if he has. If he did announce that he had, you'd be mad that he felt the need to announce it. I would be VERY surprised if he hasn't already PRIVATELY sent money. It would actually be foolish of him not to when you really think about it.....

If the man has privately sent money to help Jaycee and the girls needs...kudos to him. Hopefully if he has...he will realize that any relationship with Jaycee and the girls needs to be at their choice, their pace and place their need above his own.

You mention that it would be foolish of him not to send money....would that be because he is thinking that entitles him legally to contact with the children? Or were you just referring to the "private" part? Just trying to understand you thoughts behind the post. TIA

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 11:03 AM
This is also wrong. It's been reported that Terry called him only ONCE about 2 weeks after their affair to tell him that she was pregnant. After Jaycee was born, the mutual friend called him to inform him that Terry had given birth and that the baby looked like him. Terry didn't make that call.

BBM
You have no idea, just like the rest of us, whether his claims were for or against his parentage. He stated that after the phone call from Terry he didn't know what her plans were as far keeping the baby or not. Terry may have not wanted his involvement and could have stated this in the one phone call she made to him which would explain why he didn't know if she was keeping the baby or not. Maybe he decided to respect her wishes in order to not "rock the boat". Not a great decision, by any means, but a possibility for sure. None of us know, for certain, what went on. But she could have called him initially because she knew he would find out from the mutual friend that she was pregnant, anyway. So, maybe she wanted to save him and herself any uncomfortable "why didn't I find this out from you?" phone calls by just calling him herself and stating her intentions/uncertainty of her intentions.

not aure who/what to believe anymore.
the only thing i know for sure is he's picking a heck of a time for a "reunion' and he's going it about it the wrong way hiring a lawyer to do his dirty work for him.

JBean
09-28-2009, 11:06 AM
he claimed the parts about her caling him after she was born in his little interview here that was quoted a few pages back.
the part about terry calling him when she found out she was pregnant has been aroud for years i think
have never heard that she called him when she found out she was pregnant and if we don;t have a link to that we should be careful about spreading that info. IN the interview I quoted he said that a friend told him, not Terry. So I guess we may have conflicting information.
IMO, this would be important for us to get accurate information.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 11:19 AM
have never heard that she called him when she found out she was pregnant and if we don;t have a link to that we should be careful about spreading that info. IN the interview I quoted he said that a friend told him, not Terry. So I guess we may have conflicting information.
IMO, this would be important for us to get accurate information.

not sure where i heard/read it then. im tiring of the whole bio-dad situation rather rapidly though. i'll let jaycee's lawyer handle this, or let jaycee herself make up her mind.
glancing overall the cases on websleuths, i dont have to remind myself how lucky we are to be talking about jaycee in the PRESENT tense. this is a rare exception and a rare happy ending :woohoo:

gpc
09-28-2009, 11:51 AM
This is exactly how I see it. that is why I am trying to understand what his intent truly is.

Could his intent be to relieve the pressure his two daughters are putting on him, as well as the guilt he is feeling for not telling them they have a sister?

"I owe somebody something here...My girls are asking if she is their sister," said Slayton


http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_13290973

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 12:05 PM
Could his intent be to relieve the pressure his two daughters are putting on him, as well as the guilt he is feeling for not telling them they have a sister?

"I owe somebody something here...My girls are asking if she is their sister

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-...nclick_check=1

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-...nclick_check=

he owes them and jaycee. but its not jaycee's duty to set his mess straight for him. not after whats she's been thru. she has to decide on her own

Tizzle
09-28-2009, 12:15 PM
If the man has privately sent money to help Jaycee and the girls needs...kudos to him. Hopefully if he has...he will realize that any relationship with Jaycee and the girls needs to be at their choice, their pace and place their need above his own.

You mention that it would be foolish of him not to send money....would that be because he is thinking that entitles him legally to contact with the children? Or were you just referring to the "private" part? Just trying to understand you thoughts behind the post. TIA

Meaning it would be a gesture of good will towards Jaycee by making a private contribution to her and the girls' financial needs thus making him out to be less of an opportunist and more like a caring observer that wants to help. Like many who have donated. Not for legal entitlement at all.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 12:26 PM
Meaning it would be a gesture of good will towards Jaycee by making a private contribution to her and the girls' financial needs thus making him out to be less of an opportunist and more like a caring observer that wants to help. Like many who have donated. Not for legal entitlement at all.

i really hope this is the case.

Tizzle
09-28-2009, 01:06 PM
i really hope this is the case.

Me, too.

stilettos
09-28-2009, 01:07 PM
Meaning it would be a gesture of good will towards Jaycee by making a private contribution to her and the girls' financial needs thus making him out to be less of an opportunist and more like a caring observer that wants to help. Like many who have donated. Not for legal entitlement at all.

Thank you for answering. They can use all the help they can get. They need time.....counseling....lots of both...space to regain their power....and loads of understanding.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 01:19 PM
Thank you for answering. They can use all the help they can get. They need time.....counseling....lots of both...space to regain their power....and loads of understanding.

and family that loves them.
that can be better therapy then any shrink can give.

RainbowsAndGumdrops
09-28-2009, 01:27 PM
I've seen a lot of arguement that Jaycee's bio dad has terrible intentions because he hired his attorney Gloria A (or whatever her name is). Did it ever occur to anyone that this attorney loves having high profile cases and that she probably sought out the bio dad? She may have even done the work for free because of the publicity. Again, we should look at the facts. We do not know that hte bio dad hired her. We do not know that bio dad asked her to state they may seek legal action. We do not know that it was the bio dad that wanted to make the public statement.

stilettos
09-28-2009, 01:42 PM
and family that loves them.
that can be better therapy then any shrink can give.

Not always kbl8201, I can attest to that.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 01:46 PM
I've seen a lot of arguement that Jaycee's bio dad has terrible intentions because he hired his attorney Gloria A (or whatever her name is). Did it ever occur to anyone that this attorney loves having high profile cases and that she probably sought out the bio dad? She may have even done the work for free because of the publicity. Again, we should look at the facts. We do not know that hte bio dad hired her. We do not know that bio dad asked her to state they may seek legal action. We do not know that it was the bio dad that wanted to make the public statement.

no one put a gun to his head to make the public statment. and lawyers dont hire themselves :banghead:

JBean
09-28-2009, 03:46 PM
I've seen a lot of arguement that Jaycee's bio dad has terrible intentions because he hired his attorney Gloria A (or whatever her name is). Did it ever occur to anyone that this attorney loves having high profile cases and that she probably sought out the bio dad? She may have even done the work for free because of the publicity. Again, we should look at the facts. We do not know that hte bio dad hired her. We do not know that bio dad asked her to state they may seek legal action. We do not know that it was the bio dad that wanted to make the public statement.
Slayton himself made it crystal clear in his Kennedy and Suits interview on KFI that Glo did NOT seek him out and that he approached her. he made a point of clarifying that.

Tizzle
09-28-2009, 07:12 PM
Slayton himself made it crystal clear in his Kennedy and Suits interview on KFI that Glo did NOT seek him out and that he approached her. he made a point of clarifying that.

Wow, great interview, Jelly, thank you. I don't know if I missed it in one of your previous posts, or what. I don't know how I missed it but I just listened to it for the first time. It's interesting.

If anybody hasn't heard the Kennedy and Suits interview w/ Mr. Slayton and Gloria Allred on KFI, you should give it a listen.

JBean
09-28-2009, 07:38 PM
Wow, great interview, Jelly, thank you. I don't know if I missed it in one of your previous posts, or what. I don't know how I missed it but I just listened to it for the first time. It's interesting.

If anybody hasn't heard the Kennedy and Suits interview w/ Mr. Slayton and Gloria Allred on KFI, you should give it a listen.I agree. It was actually my first impression of him and it was his first live interview.

Openmind
09-28-2009, 08:52 PM
The most likely reason is that he is being stonewalled by the Probyns.

If he never contacted the Probyns, how can he be stonewalled?

Natal
09-28-2009, 09:50 PM
If he never contacted the Probyns, how can he be stonewalled?

The only reason for doing something like this in public is that it can't be done in private. I know you think that Slayton has lost his marbles and done something completely irrational instead of the obvious thing. Do you honestly think that GA would be involved if he was just some crazy dude? I'm sure she has better things to do with her time.

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 10:27 PM
im still not sure what slayton's motivation is.
but an attorney who takes a high profile case like this can only have one or two motivations. money and noteriety

Openmind
09-28-2009, 11:07 PM
The only reason for doing something like this in public is that it can't be done in private. I know you think that Slayton has lost his marbles and done something completely irrational instead of the obvious thing. you honestly think that GA would be involved if he was just some crazy dude? I'm sure she has better things to do with her time.

Actually, considering GA willingness to involve herself in high profile cases, I don't doubt she was willing to take this case.

This forum is not an echo chamber that allows only one idea or opinion. If you want to beleive this man and have the utmost faith in his good intentions, that is aboslutley your right, but because I question his timing and methods does not mean I can't expres my opinions. I do wonder how you know he couldn't contact the family through a private mediator? If you know for a fact Slayton tried to contact the family and was turned away, please share that information, but if this is just your assumption, I simply do not share your opinion.

Certainly, a lawyer with Allred's connections could get a private message to Jaycee, but the news conference was an easier and showier way to get out their message.

Tizzle
09-28-2009, 11:29 PM
Actually, considering GA willingness to involve herself in high profile cases, I don't doubt she was willing to take this case.

Just because I don't see things the same as you does not mean my opioions are narrow or partisan. This forum is not an echo chamber that allows only one idea or opinion. If you want to beleive this man and have the utmost faith in his good intentions, that is aboslutley your right, but because I question his timing and methods does not mean I can't expres my opinions. I do wonder how you know he couldn't contact the family through a private mediator? If you know for a fact Slayton tried to contact the family and was turned away, please share that information, but if this is just your assumption, I simply do not share your opinion.

Certainly, a lawyer with Allred's connections could get a private message to Jaycee, but the news conference was an easier and showier way to get out their message.

BBM
It is stated in the Kennedy and Suits interview that Mr. Slayton and Glo have attempted to contact Jaycee through her representatives but were unsuccessful in their attempts. Even Glo can't take down the Berlin Wall, which is probably much like what Jaycee is surrounded by.

Also, kbl brings up the money point again....Yes Glo is making money on this because Mr. Slayton retained her services. Meaning he will continue to pay her until either a) he has accomplished a satisfactory resolution, or b) he fires her. If you think he's in this for money you have to consider that he likely is already financially stable. Glo's not cheap, by any means. I doubt some lowlife just grubbing for money from a victim of a crime would be able to afford Ms. Allred's services....

kbl8201
09-28-2009, 11:41 PM
BBM
It is stated in the Kennedy and Suits interview that Mr. Slayton and Glo have attempted to contact Jaycee through her representatives but were unsuccessful in their attempts. Even Glo can't take down the Berlin Wall, which is probably much like what Jaycee is surrounded by.

Also, kbl brings up the money point again....Yes Glo is making money on this because Mr. Slayton retained her services. Meaning he will continue to pay her until either a) he has accomplished a satisfactory resolution, or b) he fires her. If you think he's in this for money you have to consider that he likely is already financially stable. Glo's not cheap, by any means. I doubt some lowlife just grubbing for money from a victim of a crime would be able to afford Ms. Allred's services....

tizzle so what exactly is the satisfactor resolution you speak of?

Openmind
09-29-2009, 12:22 AM
BBM
It is stated in the Kennedy and Suits interview that Mr. Slayton and Glo have attempted to contact Jaycee through her representatives but were unsuccessful in their attempts. Even Glo can't take down the Berlin Wall, which is probably much like what Jaycee is surrounded by.

Also, kbl brings up the money point again....Yes Glo is making money on this because Mr. Slayton retained her services. Meaning he will continue to pay her until either a) he has accomplished a satisfactory resolution, or b) he fires her. If you think he's in this for money you have to consider that he likely is already financially stable. Glo's not cheap, by any means. I doubt some lowlife just grubbing for money from a victim of a crime would be able to afford Ms. Allred's services....

Thanks for the information.

My objection to his contact is I think this is much too soon and much too demanding. Again, my opinion. If this was my child, I would have a Berlin Wall around her, as well. If my daughter was stolen from me, I would do everything I could to protect her from anything or anyone I think might inhibit her recovery. If that makes people angry, too bad. This is not about anyone but Jaycee and the girls. Truthfully, Terry doesn't know Ken, and he doesn't know her, so why should she open her home and risk their privacy and sheltered environment to a virtual stranger. They own nothing to anyone -- even Ken.

I listened to the radio program. I heard a lot of excuses and accusations that prevented him from seeing his child, a rather lame attempt to find her, an "out of sight, out of mind," and then the idea he must now be an immediate part of her life.

Just a thought, how does Ken know there are no positive male role models in Jaycee's life?

As for Allred's fee, we really don't know what she is charging if anything.

kbl8201
09-29-2009, 12:29 AM
Thanks for the information.

My objection to his contact is I think this is much too soon and much too demanding. Again, my opinion. If this was my child, I would have a Berlin Wall around her, as well. If my daughter was stolen from me, I would do everything I could to protect her from anything or anyone I think might inhibit her recovery. If that makes people angry, too bad. This is not about anyone but Jaycee and the girls. Truthfully, Terry doesn't know Ken, and he doesn't know her, so why should she open her home and risk their privacy and sheltered environment to a virtual stranger. They own nothing to anyone -- even Ken.

I listened to the radio program. I heard a lot of excuses and accusations that prevented him from seeing his child, a rather lame attempt to find her, an "out of sight, out of mind," and then the idea he must now be an immediate part of her life.

Just a thought, how does Ken know there are no positive male role models in Jaycee's life?

As for Allred's fee, we really don't know what she is charging if anything.

reading that people magazine article from 1991 it would appear carl was her positive male role model at the time she was kidnapped. they had really started to bond well in the previous year. right now i dont know what that situation is. i only hope its better then this one.

JBean
09-29-2009, 12:41 AM
Next person to attack another member gets a TO. no warnings.

remember if there is a violation or attack click the red triangle in the upper right corner of the offending post. Otherwise we probably won't even know it is there.

JBean
09-29-2009, 12:46 AM
Actually, considering GA willingness to involve herself in high profile cases, I don't doubt she was willing to take this case.

This forum is not an echo chamber that allows only one idea or opinion. If you want to beleive this man and have the utmost faith in his good intentions, that is aboslutley your right, but because I question his timing and methods does not mean I can't expres my opinions. I do wonder how you know he couldn't contact the family through a private mediator? If you know for a fact Slayton tried to contact the family and was turned away, please share that information, but if this is just your assumption, I simply do not share your opinion.

Certainly, a lawyer with Allred's connections could get a private message to Jaycee, but the news conference was an easier and showier way to get out their message.
ActuallyJaycee's camp will not acknowledge that Glo has tried to get hold of them. They are not recognozing them at this point.
Bigger fish to fry at this time imo.

Tizzle
09-29-2009, 12:46 AM
Thanks for the information.

My objection to his contact is I think this is much too soon and much too demanding. Again, my opinion. If this was my child, I would have a Berlin Wall around her, as well. If my daughter was stolen from me, I would do everything I could to protect her from anything or anyone I think might inhibit her recovery. If that makes people angry, too bad. This is not about anyone but Jaycee and the girls. Truthfully, Terry doesn't know Ken, and he doesn't know her, so why should she open her home and risk their privacy and sheltered environment to a virtual stranger. They own nothing to anyone -- even Ken.

I listened to the radio program. I heard a lot of excuses and accusations that prevented him from seeing his child, a rather lame attempt to find her, an "out of sight, out of mind," and then the idea he must now be an immediate part of her life.

Just a thought, how does Ken know there are no positive male role models in Jaycee's life?

As for Allred's fee, we really don't know what she is charging if anything.

BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.

I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can.
I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.

i.b.nora
09-29-2009, 12:51 AM
I think Mr $layton, and the girl$, should butt out. He has very poor timing.

JBean
09-29-2009, 12:51 AM
BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.

I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can.
I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.
IMO, he is overestimating himself a bit at this point. if it is truly about Jaycee, he needs to wait and be patient. If Jaycee can be more patient than all of us put together, it is the least he can do at this point.

If his heart is true, it will withstand this transition period and be patient for her.

kbl8201
09-29-2009, 12:52 AM
BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.

I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can.
I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.

carl is/was a positive role model for jaycee and she knows and remembers him. im just saying.

LillyRush
09-29-2009, 03:29 AM
The more I think about this, the more I feel that Jaycee's counselor(s) should be the ones to deliver the news about her bio-dad trying to get in touch with her. She has a lot to deal with right now and the professional counselors surely would be able to assess when she might be at a point to process this information. Maybe that is what Jaycee's family is planning to do?

Imbackon
09-29-2009, 03:50 AM
The more I think about this, the more I feel that Jaycee's counselor(s) should be the ones to deliver the news about her bio-dad trying to get in touch with her. She has a lot to deal with right now and the professor counselors surely would be able to assess when she might be at a point to process this information. Maybe that is what Jaycee's family is planning to do?

You are so right! The counselors or whatever mental health professionals may working with her may have decided it was not in JC's best interests to even bring him up to her yet much less talk about introductions.
I don't think everyone really gets the trauma that she may have experienced and that time is needed to adjust. The only people she should be in contact with for now should only be those that have the highest level of trust factor.

kbl8201
09-29-2009, 04:01 AM
You are so right! The counselors or whatever mental health professionals may working with her may have decided it was not in JC's best interests to even bring him up to her yet much less talk about introductions.
I don't think everyone really gets the trauma that she may have experienced and that time is needed to adjust. The only people she should be in contact with for now should only be those that have the highest level of trust factor.

we all know what kind of trauma she's been thru. i just wonder if slayton and his lawyer do.

LillyRush
09-29-2009, 04:03 AM
Thanks for supporting my comment!

Oh, I had to go back and correct something...I meant to say professional counselors....not professor counselors. lol Time for bed. :angel:

meep meep
09-29-2009, 05:15 AM
The word from Jaycee's camp was "it's not even on our radar". She will attend to it if and when she is ready. Hopefully she has good people advising and assisting her -- it sounds like she might.

I still submit that we need to see biodad's next move before ascribing any motive to his actions. The rest is just rhetoric and supposition IMO.

kbl8201
09-29-2009, 06:15 AM
The word from Jaycee's camp was "it's not even on our radar". She will attend to it if and when she is ready. Hopefully she has good people advising and assisting her -- it sounds like she might.

I still submit that we need to see biodad's next move before ascribing any motive to his actions. The rest is just rhetoric and supposition IMO.

like you said.. he has to let jaycee make the first move.
anything else and all my fears about him will be realzed

Openmind
09-29-2009, 07:49 AM
BBM
Either way, he approached her with the idea that he would probably have to pay for her services. Whether or not she offered to work pro bono is unknown. But it's doubtful he would contact her without a penny in his pocket and the idea that Glo would work for free.



Absolutely agree. Fee is an unknown.


I, too, would want to protect my child in these circumstances. Without a doubt. But not to the point where I would have to lie to her or keep secrets like this from her, if that is, in fact, what is happening. Jaycee at least has a right to know that he's made this offering to her and she has the right to decide herself. Jaycee would probably be more angry about them keeping this information from her than she would be about him publicly stating he loves and wants to help her in any way he can.



Do you know Jaycee is being lied to or left in the dark? I have been surprised that the family or has been turned into conspirators against Slayton, when we don't know what Jaycee knows or does not know. In truth, Jaycee may have been told of his request and she may have rejected the offer. She has never knew him before and just might have enough to deal with without an absentee father that suddenly wants to be included in the family. And if she is being denied this information, they are with her everyday and undoubtedly have therapists that are helping them adjust and deal with the issues Jaycee and the girls are facing. Before I assume this is a personal slam against Slayton, I would consider if they feel this is just not the right time and situation to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls.


I don't think Ken believes she doesn't currently have any positive male role models, he probably actually doesn't even know. I think he knows she hasn't had one for 18 years and wants to show her with anyone else that wants to that men can actually be trusted and caring and giving. I don't think he wants to deprive her of any other positive male role models but wants to have the opportunity to be an example of one for her. I'm sure he knows that Mr. Probyn is also a positive male role model for her, but what's wrong with more than one? Absolutely nothing. Especially when she was deprived of one for nearly 2 decades.

That could be true and time will tell if he gets to be an active member of her life.

I don't know anything about Slayton but what he has revealed in the news conference. He may be the best guy in the world -- salt of the earth. He may be rolling in dough and wants to shower Jaycee and the girls with attention and material comforts. He may be a working guy that wants to help however he can. Slayton does have a beautiful family, and I hope he is happy in his current life, but this offer/demand is way too soon. Allred's aggressive style is offsetting to me. The undertone of the request has a level of threat that is inappropriate. His future behaviors will be even more telling.

As for Terry, I don't know anything about her either. They have revealed very little (most information coming from Slayton) but she does appear to have done a good job raising Jaycee, was devastated when she was taken, and lived a low profile life in all the years since Jayces was taken. She willingly dropped her life when Jaycee was recovered and has since dedecated herself to her daughter and new found granddaughters. Considering her behaviors and her relationship with Jaycee, if they don't want to speak with Slayton, I trust them to know best. I admire that and wish them the absoute best. I hope all parties will always considering what is best for Jaycee and the girls first and foremost. This has just begun.

Tizzle
09-29-2009, 10:23 AM
Absolutely agree. Fee is an unknown.



Do you know Jaycee is being lied to or left in the dark? I have been surprised that the family or has been turned into conspirators against Slayton, when we don't know what Jaycee knows or does not know. In truth, Jaycee may have been told of his request and she may have rejected the offer. She has never knew him before and just might have enough to deal with without an absentee father that suddenly wants to be included in the family. And if she is being denied this information, they are with her everyday and undoubtedly have therapists that are helping them adjust and deal with the issues Jaycee and the girls are facing. Before I assume this is a personal slam against Slayton, I would consider if they feel this is just not the right time and situation to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls.



That could be true and time will tell if he gets to be an active member of her life.

I don't know anything about Slayton but what he has revealed in the news conference. He may be the best guy in the world -- salt of the earth. He may be rolling in dough and wants to shower Jaycee and the girls with attention and material comforts. He may be a working guy that wants to help however he can. Slayton does have a beautiful family, and I hope he is happy in his current life, but this offer/demand is way too soon. Allred's aggressive style is offsetting to me. The undertone of the request has a level of threat that is inappropriate. His future behaviors will be even more telling.

As for Terry, I don't know anything about her either. They have revealed very little (most information coming from Slayton) but she does appear to have done a good job raising Jaycee, was devastated when she was taken, and lived a low profile life in all the years since Jayces was taken. She willingly dropped her life when Jaycee was recovered and has since dedecated herself to her daughter and new found granddaughters. Considering her behaviors and her relationship with Jaycee, if they don't want to speak with Slayton, I trust them to know best. I admire that and wish them the absoute best. I hope all parties will always considering what is best for Jaycee and the girls first and foremost. This has just begun.

BBM
No, I don't know that they are withholding information from her or lying to her about Mr. Slayton, that's why I said "if that is, in fact, what is happening." It does seem to be what he and Glo are suggesting, though. Mr. Slayton seems to be a rationally thinking man, and I don't feel he and Glo would say that they are unable to make contact with her reps if it were untrue. If Jaycee has been told and did, in fact, reject his offer, why wouldn't her reps just tell him that? Do you really think that if he thought Jaycee didn't want anything to do with him, he would continue to badger her by making 2 public appearances? I don't, because I think he would think about his own daughters and how he wouldn't want someone to do that to them. JMO, but all indications point to Mr. Slayton being railroaded and Jaycee being left in the dark about it.

I realize that his timing isn't viewed as the best, but wouldn't you want to know after all this time if she really is your daughter? Don't you think she would want to know after all these years? If you were him, wouldn't you want to help her in any way and wouldn't you want to make sure she knew you wanted to offer yourself to her? Wouldn't you want to make up for not being there for her as soon you got the first chance to?With Jaycee's reappearance, he's been given a second chance to make right all the wrong he's done in regards to Jaycee. And she's been given a chance to have the relationship with the real dad that she's probably always wondered about. Just because he made bad decisions doesn't mean Jaycee didn't want to know about him. I've known a few children and adults of absentee fathers, they ALL wondered about their real father and always wanted to meet their real father. You think Jaycee, for some reason, is different? Her situation is different, yes, but a person never forgets to wonder about a dad they never knew regardless of the circumstances.

And you make mention of the fact that they may not feel it's the right time to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls. I think you forget, though, that EVERYBODY Jaycee's girls have been introduced to over the last month are all strangers to them and on some level to Jaycee, too. As strong as Jaycee obviously is, I don't think it would hurt her one bit to know, after all these years, that her real dad wants to create a healthy relationship with her. If, after that, SHE is not interested in meeting him, then they need to tell Mr. Slayton that and not decide on their own that it's best she doesn't know about his interest in being a part of her life and lives of her girls. She'll surely be more angry that this was decided FOR her and not WITH her, she is an adult, after all. Far more angry than she'll be finding out that he's been reaching out to her. For all we know, though, their meeting may already be in the works. It's also worth mentioning that if Mr. Slayton had just sat back and said nothing and waited "until a better time", as you suggest, he would likely be ridiculed and demonized for not "being a man and stepping forward" sooner, possibly more harshly than he is now. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mr. Slayton is damned if does, damned if he doesn't.

kbl8201
09-29-2009, 12:46 PM
BBM
No, I don't know that they are withholding information from her or lying to her about Mr. Slayton, that's why I said "if that is, in fact, what is happening." It does seem to be what he and Glo are suggesting, though. Mr. Slayton seems to be a rationally thinking man, and I don't feel he and Glo would say that they are unable to make contact with her reps if it were untrue. If Jaycee has been told and did, in fact, reject his offer, why wouldn't her reps just tell him that? Do you really think that if he thought Jaycee didn't want anything to do with him, he would continue to badger her by making 2 public appearances? I don't, because I think he would think about his own daughters and how he wouldn't want someone to do that to them. JMO, but all indications point to Mr. Slayton being railroaded and Jaycee being left in the dark about it.

I realize that his timing isn't viewed as the best, but wouldn't you want to know after all this time if she really is your daughter? Don't you think she would want to know after all these years? If you were him, wouldn't you want to help her in any way and wouldn't you want to make sure she knew you wanted to offer yourself to her? Wouldn't you want to make up for not being there for her as soon you got the first chance to?With Jaycee's reappearance, he's been given a second chance to make right all the wrong he's done in regards to Jaycee. And she's been given a chance to have the relationship with the real dad that she's probably always wondered about. Just because he made bad decisions doesn't mean Jaycee didn't want to know about him. I've known a few children and adults of absentee fathers, they ALL wondered about their real father and always wanted to meet their real father. You think Jaycee, for some reason, is different? Her situation is different, yes, but a person never forgets to wonder about a dad they never knew regardless of the circumstances.

And you make mention of the fact that they may not feel it's the right time to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls. I think you forget, though, that EVERYBODY Jaycee's girls have been introduced to over the last month are all strangers to them and on some level to Jaycee, too. As strong as Jaycee obviously is, I don't think it would hurt her one bit to know, after all these years, that her real dad wants to create a healthy relationship with her. If, after that, SHE is not interested in meeting him, then they need to tell Mr. Slayton that and not decide on their own that it's best she doesn't know about his interest in being a part of her life and lives of her girls. She'll surely be more angry that this was decided FOR her and not WITH her, she is an adult, after all. Far more angry than she'll be finding out that he's been reaching out to her. For all we know, though, their meeting may already be in the works. It's also worth mentioning that if Mr. Slayton had just sat back and said nothing and waited "until a better time", as you suggest, he would likely be ridiculed and demonized for not "being a man and stepping forward" sooner, possibly more harshly than he is now. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mr. Slayton is damned if does, damned if he doesn't.

the timing is awful there is no getting around that. the issue should be what is best for jaycee, and slayton and terry might both not be able to make that decision for her. in the end i thihk it is up to her and her coundelers, not her parents, not lawyers, and not some judge.

Openmind
09-29-2009, 07:12 PM
BBM
No, I don't know that they are withholding information from her or lying to her about Mr. Slayton, that's why I said "if that is, in fact, what is happening." It does seem to be what he and Glo are suggesting, though. Mr. Slayton seems to be a rationally thinking man, and I don't feel he and Glo would say that they are unable to make contact with her reps if it were untrue. If Jaycee has been told and did, in fact, reject his offer, why wouldn't her reps just tell him that? Do you really think that if he thought Jaycee didn't want anything to do with him, he would continue to badger her by making 2 public appearances? I don't, because I think he would think about his own daughters and how he wouldn't want someone to do that to them. JMO, but all indications point to Mr. Slayton being railroaded and Jaycee being left in the dark about it.

Railroaded -- no, I don't see it that way at all. I see a man that made an offer and it went nowhere so he went public. No one knows what the family did or did not do or say. I have seen Slayton on a news conference and heard a radio interview and neither gave enough information to know what kind of man he is or the depth of his character -- good or bad. Terry is doing what she should do -- taking care of her child and grandchildren.



I realize that his timing isn't viewed as the best, but wouldn't you want to know after all this time if she really is your daughter? Don't you think she would want to know after all these years? If you were him, wouldn't you want to help her in any way and wouldn't you want to make sure she knew you wanted to offer yourself to her? Wouldn't you want to make up for not being there for her as soon you got the first chance to?With Jaycee's reappearance, he's been given a second chance to make right all the wrong he's done in regards to Jaycee. And she's been given a chance to have the relationship with the real dad that she's probably always wondered about. Just because he made bad decisions doesn't mean Jaycee didn't want to know about him. I've known a few children and adults of absentee fathers, they ALL wondered about their real father and always wanted to meet their real father. You think Jaycee, for some reason, is different? Her situation is different, yes, but a person never forgets to wonder about a dad they never knew regardless of the circumstances.

Again, we don't know what Jaycee knows or doesn't know, so I won't try to speak for her. My take on it is since she didn't know her biological father before she was taken, so I have no idea if she ever thought about him at all. It is pure speculation to assume what Jaycee thought, thinks, or wants.



And you make mention of the fact that they may not feel it's the right time to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls. I think you forget, though, that EVERYBODY Jaycee's girls have been introduced to over the last month are all strangers to them and on some level to Jaycee, too.

I would think if Jaycee thought about anyone during her captivity it was the people she already knew as her family. They are not strangers and she does have a connection to them, and she can share that with her girls. Time will not diminish a bond of the heart.


As strong as Jaycee obviously is, I don't think it would hurt her one bit to know, after all these years, that her real dad wants to create a healthy relationship with her. If, after that, SHE is not interested in meeting him, then they need to tell Mr. Slayton that and not decide on their own that it's best she doesn't know about his interest in being a part of her life and lives of her girls. She'll surely be more angry that this was decided FOR her and not WITH her, she is an adult, after all. Far more angry than she'll be finding out that he's been reaching out to her. For all we know, though, their meeting may already be in the works. It's also worth mentioning that if Mr. Slayton had just sat back and said nothing and waited "until a better time", as you suggest, he would likely be ridiculed and demonized for not "being a man and stepping forward" sooner, possibly more harshly than he is now.

Again, we don't know what Jaycee knows or doesn't know. You're absolutely right, I do think his timing is selfish and inappropriate. He never made the effort or took the time to find his child, he didn't take the time to help look for her when she was kidnapped or reached out to Terry to express his grief or regrets, but now that she is found he wants to pony up to the front of the line and be an active part of her life. I say, take a number and wait for it to be called.

I said it before and I'll say it again, Mr. Slayton is damned if does, damned if he doesn't.

But not by everyone. I say this with sincerity, he does have you as a most staunch supporter.

Tizzle
09-29-2009, 11:21 PM
Openmind:waitasec:, how about we agree to disagree and just let it lie? Mr. Slayton has, so far. I've stated my opinion, I see what you're saying, I understand that point of view. I'm not saying your point of view is wrong. I'm not saying my ideas are right. I'm simply exploring them. That's ok, yes?

And yes, I do staunchly support Mr. Slayton's presence as long as it improves Jaycee's life in any way when all is said and done. I'm sorry if that offends you. But if his presence ever harms her in any way, I will change my way of thinking to yours in a heartbeat.:thumb:

I decided to keep this one short and sweet for you. All that quoting and cutting and copying has got to be time consuming LOL

Natal
09-29-2009, 11:52 PM
Do you know Jaycee is being lied to or left in the dark? I have been surprised that the family or has been turned into conspirators against Slayton, when we don't know what Jaycee knows or does not know. In truth, Jaycee may have been told of his request and she may have rejected the offer. She has never knew him before and just might have enough to deal with without an absentee father that suddenly wants to be included in the family. And if she is being denied this information, they are with her everyday and undoubtedly have therapists that are helping them adjust and deal with the issues Jaycee and the girls are facing. Before I assume this is a personal slam against Slayton, I would consider if they feel this is just not the right time and situation to introduce a stranger to Jaycee and the girls.

I think if Jaycee had rejected the offer, or if she said would consider it at a later date, her public representatives would have said so explicitly. But their reaction isn't direct at all, it is oddly defensive, which is why I believe she hasn't been told at all. They can't make the decision for her because she is an adult, and if they don't tell her, she can't make a decision either. IMO that is why they are behaving the way they are, and why we have all this public legal display going on.

kbl8201
09-29-2009, 11:54 PM
Openmind:waitasec:, how about we agree to disagree and just let it lie? Mr. Slayton has, so far. I've stated my opinion, I see what you're saying, I understand that point of view. I'm not saying your point of view is wrong. I'm not saying my ideas are right. I'm simply exploring them. That's ok, yes?

And yes, I do staunchly support Mr. Slayton's presence as long as it improves Jaycee's life in any way when all is said and done. I'm sorry if that offends you. But if his presence ever harms her in any way, I will change my way of thinking to yours in a heartbeat.:thumb:

I decided to keep this one short and sweet for you. All that quoting and cutting and copying has got to be time consuming LOL

to me the only way his presence will hurt is if he takes it to court.....its putting himself above what jaycee and the girls need at this point

Natal
09-30-2009, 12:15 AM
I don't think it will go to court, IMO this is a fight between the two families, not between Jaycee and her father. When it comes to the crunch, the situation will resolve itself.

kbl8201
09-30-2009, 12:21 AM
I don't think it will go to court, IMO this is a fight between the two families, not between Jaycee and her father. When it comes to the crunch, the situation will resolve itself.

i hope it's not a fight at all but a misunderstanding...........

Tizzle
09-30-2009, 12:27 AM
I think if Jaycee had rejected the offer, or if she said would consider it at a later date, her public representatives would have said so explicitly. But their reaction isn't direct at all, it is oddly defensive, which is why I believe she hasn't been told at all. They can't make the decision for her because she is an adult, and if they don't tell her, she can't make a decision either. IMO that is why they are behaving the way they are, and why we have all this public legal display going on.

Both sides have been awfully quiet the last few days. I would be surprised if contact hasn't already been made. He wouldn't stay quiet this long if he was still being railroaded, IMO. I think both sides are cooperating privately now, at least, I hope. I'm pretty sure Jaycee's reps would tell him first and foremost "NO MORE PUBLIC APPEARANCES" regarding Jaycee or the girls from this point forward. I get the feeling he would comply with any terms of privacy imposed on him, as he should, as long as he knows everyone is being honest and forthcoming. JMO.

kbl8201
09-30-2009, 12:32 AM
Both sides have been awfully quiet the last few days. I would be surprised if contact hasn't already been made. He wouldn't stay quiet this long if he was still being railroaded, IMO. I think both sides are cooperating privately now, at least, I hope. I'm pretty sure Jaycee's reps would tell him first and foremost "NO MORE PUBLIC APPEARANCES" regarding Jaycee or the girls from this point forward. I get the feeling he would comply with any terms of privacy imposed on him, as he should, as long as he knows everyone is being honest and forthcoming. JMO.

i hope this is the case. i hope both sides are being rational.

Openmind
09-30-2009, 07:04 AM
Openmind:waitasec:, how about we agree to disagree and just let it lie?

Works for me.

Mr. Slayton has, so far. I've stated my opinion, I see what you're saying, I understand that point of view. I'm not saying your point of view is wrong. I'm not saying my ideas are right. I'm simply exploring them. That's ok, yes?

I, too, am an explorer and hope to respect the ideas of others even if I don't agree with them. Disagreeing it tricky, but we aren't always going to see eye to eye.


And yes, I do staunchly support Mr. Slayton's presence as long as it improves Jaycee's life in any way when all is said and done. I'm sorry if that offends you. But if his presence ever harms her in any way, I will change my way of thinking to yours in a heartbeat.:thumb:

Time will tell and I hope everyone has only Jaycee and the girls best interest at heart.



I decided to keep this one short and sweet for you. All that quoting and cutting and copying has got to be time consuming LOL

Actually, I learned a few tricks and I don't cut and paste at all. Really fast to quote back. Actually, annoyingly fast - right? ;)

Tizzle, all best to you. I hope in the end the resolution to this makes us feel better about all parties involved.

ActuallyJaycee's camp will not acknowledge that Glo has tried to get hold of them. They are not recognozing them at this point.
Bigger fish to fry at this time imo.

I agree. Much much bigger fish. Not only Jaycee and the girls but all the legal interactions in regard to Garrido.

kbl8201
09-30-2009, 07:05 AM
I agree. Much much bigger fish. Not onlly Jaycee and the girls but all the legal interactions in regard to Garrido.

i hope that someone shanks garrido in the shower. that way taxpayers dont have to fit the bill for his trial/incarceration and jaycee wont have to testiy against him.

Openmind
09-30-2009, 07:14 AM
i hope that someone shanks garrido in the shower. that way taxpayers dont have to fit the bill for his trial/incarceration and jaycee wont have to testiy against him.

Sadly, this "man" is probably being held in high security far from any threats or possible harm. Eventually, we will have to endure all sorts to testimony about his tragic and misspent youth to try and excuse away his evil behaviors. We have just started his running tab at the taxpayer's expense.

kbl8201
09-30-2009, 10:09 AM
Sadly, this "man" is probably being held in high security far from any threats or possible harm. Eventually, we will have to endure all sorts to testimony about his tragic and misspent youth to try and excuse away his evil behaviors. We have just started his running tab at the taxpayer's expense.

doesnt have to be a prisoner that knifes him though......accidents happen you know :)

flourish
09-30-2009, 04:49 PM
doesnt have to be a prisoner that knifes him though......accidents happen you know :)

Have you been watching "OZ?" :) (I love that show)

kbl8201
09-30-2009, 04:52 PM
Have you been watching "OZ?" :) (I love that show)

lol never seen it actually :innocent:

flourish
09-30-2009, 05:25 PM
lol never seen it actually :innocent:

LOL It's a show that was on HBO a few years back. Set in a fictional max. security prison

JBean
09-30-2009, 06:30 PM
guys, don't start talking about knifing people or causing them physical harm please.
Crikey.

kbl8201
09-30-2009, 08:08 PM
guys, don't start talking about knifing people or causing them physical harm please.
Crikey.

sorry i got carried away lol

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 01:31 AM
Both sides have been awfully quiet the last few days. I would be surprised if contact hasn't already been made. He wouldn't stay quiet this long if he was still being railroaded, IMO. I think both sides are cooperating privately now, at least, I hope. I'm pretty sure Jaycee's reps would tell him first and foremost "NO MORE PUBLIC APPEARANCES" regarding Jaycee or the girls from this point forward. I get the feeling he would comply with any terms of privacy imposed on him, as he should, as long as he knows everyone is being honest and forthcoming. JMO.

Why are you using the word RAILROADED?

Transitive verb, To force somebody to act hastily: to force a person or group to make a decision or take action quickly, without time for consideration or discussion

This has been used, not once but twice that I can see.

Who's railroading who? Seems by the definition it is being used backwards.

My story.
My daughter's father was first IN, THEN OUT OF HER LIFE, THEN BACK IN, THEN OUT. When she was 3 1/2 years old, I told him, quit with the disappearing act , either you are in or out but that it was hurting her to continue this behavior. He said he was IN. this lasted 3 years, then he disappeared for 20 years! Try to explain that to a child.

So, with absolutely no track history NO ONE OWES IT to Slayton to reunite him with JC , just to satisfy his immediate needs.

What if after the media dies down, and maybe if there are mental health issues to deal with and things are not all nice nice....who knows what trouble may arise, and Slayton decides he CAN'T HANDLE THE SITUATION, and backs off from his new found obligation, are you going to be the one to pick up the pieces?

Terry's daughter has basically COME BACK FROM THE DEAD. Nothing on earth at this point could keep most mother's from protecting their child after something like this. YOU DON'T KNOW what the actual situation is. For all you know Mr. Slayton being away from JC during her childhood caused her great anguish, or shame or whatever, and THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR HER TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING outside of basic survival kind of stuff.
The use of the word railroading has a very negative connotation toward those that are now in a position to try to do what is best for JC and MAKE SURE NO ONE HARMS HER EVER AGAIN, and those people would be her mother and her counselors so they are the only people I can think of that you are referring to when you speak of railroading.

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 08:27 AM
Why are you using the word RAILROADED?

Transitive verb, To force somebody to act hastily: to force a person or group to make a decision or take action quickly, without time for consideration or discussion

This has been used, not once but twice that I can see.

Who's railroading who? Seems by the definition it is being used backwards.

My story.
My daughter's father was first IN, THEN OUT OF HER LIFE, THEN BACK IN, THEN OUT. When she was 3 1/2 years old, I told him, quit with the disappearing act , either you are in or out but that it was hurting her to continue this behavior. He said he was IN. this lasted 3 years, then he disappeared for 20 years! Try to explain that to a child.

So, with absolutely no track history NO ONE OWES IT to Slayton to reunite him with JC , just to satisfy his immediate needs.

What if after the media dies down, and maybe if there are mental health issues to deal with and things are not all nice nice....who knows what trouble may arise, and Slayton decides he CAN'T HANDLE THE SITUATION, and backs off from his new found obligation, are you going to be the one to pick up the pieces?

Terry's daughter has basically COME BACK FROM THE DEAD. Nothing on earth at this point could keep most mother's from protecting their child after something like this. YOU DON'T KNOW what the actual situation is. For all you know Mr. Slayton being away from JC during her childhood caused her great anguish, or shame or whatever, and THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR HER TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING outside of basic survival kind of stuff.
The use of the word railroading has a very negative connotation toward those that are now in a position to try to do what is best for JC and MAKE SURE NO ONE HARMS HER EVER AGAIN, and those people would be her mother and her counselors so they are the only people I can think of that you are referring to when you speak of railroading.

I don't know where you got the idea from my post that I feel anybody "owes" Mr. Slayton anything, but I'm sorry, you're way off. They DO owe Jaycee the information that her father is interested in a relationship, however. She's an adult and keeping this information from her could be far more damaging than any press conference Mr. Slayton has held. And yes, if Jaycee's reps were ignoring Mr. Slayton's attempts, as was said, and he felt there was no other option but to take it public in order to get a response, then I would say that the definition of railroading that you posted covers this as Mr. Slayton probably felt "forced to make a decision or take action quickly, without time for consideration or discussion." Thanks

I doubt Mr. Slayton is the "give up" kinda guy you refer to and really don't feel that anyone has to worry about him coming in and out of Jaycee's life. If that were the case, I doubt he would've gone to the trouble of retaining Gloria. He's not a dumb man. I'm sure he understands the gravity of the situation and wouldn't make such a big deal of getting his message to her if he didn't plan on being in this for the long haul. He's not after money from the story, it's obvious to me that he has his own.

My Story:

My ex and I were high school sweethearts and spent 2/3 of our lives in each others lives. He grew up without his father. Only saw him one time when was a year old then nothing. He was very vocal about his negative opinion towards his father and his choices. He never said a nice word about his biological father and never tried to contact him.
When we were close to 30 y.o., my ex lost the keys to his truck so I located a local locksmith that had the same name as us because I figured it would be lucky. I called the business with our name, the lady that answered interrupted my inquiries with "Can I ask you a question?" I replied "Yes." She went on to ask me about my last name and if I was related to people from another town. When I explained to her that it was my married name but that my husband was born in the town she mentioned and what my husbands first name was and what his father's name was, she was OVERJOYED! She told me that her husband was my husband's uncle, his father's brother. His father, unfortunately had passed away 2 years prior.
When my ex came home and I told him what I had discovered he was INSTANTLY curious despite all the negative feelings he had harbored for nearly 30 years. We met with his aunt and uncle and discovered that his dad had, in fact, tried to contact him and did, in fact, want to be a part of his life like he was with his other children. My ex was the only one out of 5 total children that his father had no contact with. He was also his father's only son. When he found out the truth about his father and that his father did actually desire a relationship with him, all those negatives feelings seemingly disappeared. I never heard another bad word leave his lips regarding his real father ever again. NOT ONCE. In fact, when we separated and he left our home for the first time, the ONLY items he took with him were the pictures of his father that his aunt and uncle had given him.
After our discovery, he only had warm and loving feelings for his father. We spent holidays with his new found family from then on, he still does. It was definitely a healing experience for him after a tough life. So this is why I feel it wouldn't hurt Jaycee to know that her real father does actually love her and want to be a part of her life.
This isn't my only experience with victims of an absentee father. I've known quite a few, including my cousins. Every person that I've known that didn't have a father growing up, were ALWAYS curious about him and ALWAYS wanted more information about him.
I'm sorry for your daughter's experience with her father and hope you and her have healed. But, didn't she wonder about her father? If he's still absent, doesn't she still wonder about him on some level? I would be surprised if she hasn't TRULY felt this way at one time or another.
I'm not saying this IS the way Jaycee feels, I'm only saying it's a VERY REAL possibility that it would make her feel good to know he's interested. Big difference.
Finally, this conversation is really senseless at this point, because as I stated in the post you quoted, we haven't heard anything more from him which leads me to believe that contact has been made and that both sides are cooperating to whatever extent will be most beneficial to Jaycee and girls. Until we see otherwise, there is no need to bash this man further. And no need to attack my views further.
IMO

kbl8201
10-01-2009, 08:40 AM
I don't know where you got the idea from my post that I feel anybody "owes" Mr. Slayton anything, but I'm sorry, you're way off. They DO owe Jaycee the information that her father is interested in a relationship, however. She's an adult and keeping this information from her could be far more damaging than any press conference Mr. Slayton has held. And yes, if Jaycee's reps were ignoring Mr. Slayton's attempts, as was said, and he felt there was no other option but to take it public in order to get a response, then I would say that the definition of railroading that you posted covers this as Mr. Slayton probably felt "forced to make a decision or take action quickly, without time for consideration or discussion." Thanks

I doubt Mr. Slayton is the "give up" kinda guy you refer to and really don't feel that anyone has to worry about him coming in and out of Jaycee's life. If that were the case, I doubt he would've gone to the trouble of retaining Gloria. He's not a dumb man. I'm sure he understands the gravity of the situation and wouldn't make such a big deal of getting his message to her if he didn't plan on being in this for the long haul. He's not after money from the story, it's obvious to me that he has his own.

My Story:

My ex and I were high school sweethearts and spent 2/3 of our lives in each others lives. He grew up without his father. Only saw him one time when was a year old then nothing. He was very vocal about his negative opinion towards his father and his choices. He never said a nice word about his biological father and never tried to contact him.
When we were close to 30 y.o., my ex lost the keys to his truck so I located a local locksmith that had the same name as us because I figured it would be lucky. I called the business with our name, the lady that answered interrupted my inquiries with "Can I ask you a question?" I replied "Yes." She went on to ask me about my last name and if I was related to people from another town. When I explained to her that it was my married name but that my husband was born in the town she mentioned and what my husbands first name was and what his father's name was, she was OVERJOYED! She told me that her husband was my husband's uncle, his father's brother. His father, unfortunately had passed away 2 years prior.
When my ex came home and I told him what I had discovered he was INSTANTLY curious despite all the negative feelings he had harbored for nearly 30 years. We met with his aunt and uncle and discovered that his dad had, in fact, tried to contact him and did, in fact, want to be a part of his life like he was with his other children. My ex was the only one out of 5 total children that his father had no contact with. He was also his father's only son. When he found out the truth about his father and that his father did actually desire a relationship with him, all those negatives feelings seemingly disappeared. I never heard another bad word leave his lips regarding his real father ever again. NOT ONCE. In fact, when we separated and he left our home for the first time, the ONLY items he took with him were the pictures of his father that his aunt and uncle had given him.
After our discovery, he only had warm and loving feelings for his father. We spent holidays with his new found family from then on, he still does. It was definitely a healing experience for him after a tough life. So this is why I feel it wouldn't hurt Jaycee to know that her real father does actually love her and want to be a part of her life.
This isn't my only experience with victims of an absentee father. I've known quite a few, including my cousins. Every person that I've known that didn't have a father growing up, were ALWAYS curious about him and ALWAYS wanted more information about him.
I'm sorry for your daughter's experience with her father and hope you and her have healed. But, didn't she wonder about her father? If he's still absent, doesn't she still wonder about him on some level? I would be surprised if she hasn't TRULY felt this way at one time or another.
I'm not saying this IS the way Jaycee feels, I'm only saying it's a VERY REAL possibility that it would make her feel good to know he's interested. Big difference.
Finally, this conversation is really senseless at this point, because as I stated in the post you quoted, we haven't heard anything more from him which leads me to believe that contact has been made and that both sides are cooperating to whatever extent will be most beneficial to Jaycee and girls. Until we see otherwise, there is no need to bash this man further. And no need to attack my views further.
IMO
'
each situation is diffrent. mine my father is not only a deadbeat and an absentee father but he was physically and mentally abusive to my mom when they were married. he skipped out on visitation and child support, got married and had other kids (sound familiar this part?) and has not tried to contact me in 30 years though he knows exactly where i live. i have wondered why he can be such a husband/father to them but cant even give me a call once every 8 presidential elections......i dont know what the story with ken slayton is and its true i have jumped to conclusions and bashed him repeatedly, but in the end i just want whats best for jaycee. if it's to have him in her life because he truly cares about her, then so be it. but in the end it's jaycee's decision.
k im done. :)

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 12:47 PM
I don't know where you got the idea from my post that I feel anybody "owes" Mr. Slayton anything, but I'm sorry, you're way off. They DO owe Jaycee the information that her father is interested in a relationship, however. She's an adult and keeping this information from her could be far more damaging than any press conference Mr. Slayton has held. And yes, if Jaycee's reps were ignoring Mr. Slayton's attempts, as was said, and he felt there was no other option but to take it public in order to get a response, then I would say that the definition of railroading that you posted covers this as Mr. Slayton probably felt "forced to make a decision or take action quickly, without time for consideration or discussion." Thanks

I doubt Mr. Slayton is the "give up" kinda guy you refer to and really don't feel that anyone has to worry about him coming in and out of Jaycee's life. If that were the case, I doubt he would've gone to the trouble of retaining Gloria. He's not a dumb man. I'm sure he understands the gravity of the situation and wouldn't make such a big deal of getting his message to her if he didn't plan on being in this for the long haul. He's not after money from the story, it's obvious to me that he has his own.

My Story:

My ex and I were high school sweethearts and spent 2/3 of our lives in each others lives. He grew up without his father. Only saw him one time when was a year old then nothing. He was very vocal about his negative opinion towards his father and his choices. He never said a nice word about his biological father and never tried to contact him.
When we were close to 30 y.o., my ex lost the keys to his truck so I located a local locksmith that had the same name as us because I figured it would be lucky. I called the business with our name, the lady that answered interrupted my inquiries with "Can I ask you a question?" I replied "Yes." She went on to ask me about my last name and if I was related to people from another town. When I explained to her that it was my married name but that my husband was born in the town she mentioned and what my husbands first name was and what his father's name was, she was OVERJOYED! She told me that her husband was my husband's uncle, his father's brother. His father, unfortunately had passed away 2 years prior.
When my ex came home and I told him what I had discovered he was INSTANTLY curious despite all the negative feelings he had harbored for nearly 30 years. We met with his aunt and uncle and discovered that his dad had, in fact, tried to contact him and did, in fact, want to be a part of his life like he was with his other children. My ex was the only one out of 5 total children that his father had no contact with. He was also his father's only son. When he found out the truth about his father and that his father did actually desire a relationship with him, all those negatives feelings seemingly disappeared. I never heard another bad word leave his lips regarding his real father ever again. NOT ONCE. In fact, when we separated and he left our home for the first time, the ONLY items he took with him were the pictures of his father that his aunt and uncle had given him.
After our discovery, he only had warm and loving feelings for his father. We spent holidays with his new found family from then on, he still does. It was definitely a healing experience for him after a tough life. So this is why I feel it wouldn't hurt Jaycee to know that her real father does actually love her and want to be a part of her life.
This isn't my only experience with victims of an absentee father. I've known quite a few, including my cousins. Every person that I've known that didn't have a father growing up, were ALWAYS curious about him and ALWAYS wanted more information about him.
I'm sorry for your daughter's experience with her father and hope you and her have healed. But, didn't she wonder about her father? If he's still absent, doesn't she still wonder about him on some level? I would be surprised if she hasn't TRULY felt this way at one time or another.
I'm not saying this IS the way Jaycee feels, I'm only saying it's a VERY REAL possibility that it would make her feel good to know he's interested. Big difference.
Finally, this conversation is really senseless at this point, because as I stated in the post you quoted, we haven't heard anything more from him which leads me to believe that contact has been made and that both sides are cooperating to whatever extent will be most beneficial to Jaycee and girls. Until we see otherwise, there is no need to bash this man further. And no need to attack my views further.
IMO

Attack your views? No way did I do that. I do not think you are using the appropriate words when you say railroaded is all, and in reality it fits more with what is happening to the Dugards.
I was as polite as I could be, considering I feel you are attacking JC's mother, by trying to second guess what is best for JC.
You said;
"My ex was the only one out of 5 total children that his father had no contact with"
I say; so did dad's dialing finger break? What the other sibs couldn't let him know? Who was holding who back in this story. Something isn't right.

I stand by what I said.

kbl8201
10-01-2009, 12:51 PM
Attack your views? No way did I do that. I do not think you are using the appropriate words when you say railroaded is all, and in reality it fits more with what is happening to the Dugards.
I was as polite as I could be, considering I feel you are attacking JC's mother, by trying to second guess what is best for JC.
You said;
"My ex was the only one out of 5 total children that his father had no contact with"
I say; so did dad's dialing finger break? What the other sibs couldn't let him know? Who was holding who back in this story. Something isn't right.

I stand by what I said.

i think my dad had a severe case of cowarditis

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 12:55 PM
Tizzle said;
"We met with his aunt and uncle and discovered that his dad had, in fact, tried to contact him and did, in fact, want to be a part of his life like he was with his other children"

I wouldn't take it to the bank that the statement is true. Afterall look how easy it was for you to make contact "by luck".

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 05:57 PM
Attack your views? No way did I do that. I do not think you are using the appropriate words when you say railroaded is all, and in reality it fits more with what is happening to the Dugards.
I was as polite as I could be, considering I feel you are attacking JC's mother, by trying to second guess what is best for JC.
You said;
"My ex was the only one out of 5 total children that his father had no contact with"
I say; so did dad's dialing finger break? What the other sibs couldn't let him know? Who was holding who back in this story. Something isn't right.

I stand by what I said.

You're right, something isn't right. My ex was his mother's only child with his father. His mom held his dad back from making contact by moving to another town and by not listing her phone number, purposely. Which is what Mr. Slayton said was the case in his situation. Maybe he could have done more to make contact, maybe not. We'll never know because the past is the past and should be left there.
I haven't attacked Jaycee's mother, not once. My heart breaks for the woman. But her plight doesn't change the possibility that she might not have wanted Mr. Slayton to be involved in Jaycee's life. That isn't me attacking Jaycee's mom, that is me observing that there may be another side to the story. That is me being objective. And I'm not trying to second guess what's best for Jaycee, because I don't know what that is. But I am second guessing if it would be the best decision to keep Mr. Slayton's message a secret from her, if that is the case, since she's a grown woman capable of making her own decisions (for a change). I do know that the last thing she needs right now is more secrets...

Openmind
10-01-2009, 07:23 PM
I do know that the last thing she needs right now is more secrets...

Why do you assume there are secrets?

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 08:10 PM
Why do you assume there are secrets?

Why do you assume there aren't?

Openmind
10-01-2009, 08:25 PM
Why do you assume there aren't?

I asked first.

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 08:55 PM
Why do you assume there aren't?


Secrets, phfffff

This has nothing to do with keeping secrets, and the assumption should be made that MS. Probyn is doing what's best for her daughter.
There is no evidence to suggest she is not capable of doing so .

My mother has Alzheimers, and I keep all kinds of things from her that I think are in her best interests. When she asked my sister if she (my mother) had ever had cancer and my sister told her that yes she had, my mother got very upset.

When she later asked me if the same question, knowing how she reacted to my sisters answers, I said " No Mom you never had any cancer" she grinned and said, "that's what I thought, thank God for that".

Am i keeping secrets? Yep, I am.
I WOULD NEVER DARE TO SECOND GUESS SOMEONES MOTHER UNDER THESE CONDITIONS, AND AM ASTONISHED THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WOULD.

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 09:00 PM
Tizzle said;
His mom held his dad back from making contact by moving to another town and by not listing her phone number, purposely.

Just because you were told that story does not make it true.
It isn't the first time that's been told, in fact it is a COMMON defense from irresponsible dead beat dads (and their family). Just sayin.

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 09:07 PM
Tizzle said;
His mom held his dad back from making contact by moving to another town and by not listing her phone number, purposely. Which is what Mr. Slayton said was the case in his situation

Link please regarding Slayton's statement.I have not read any such statement.

my2sisters
10-01-2009, 09:13 PM
snipped and bbm
Wow, I am seriously having flashbacks to sixth grade here. I wonder who is going to say "I'm rubber and you're glue..." first.

Really, though, when I read Tizzle's post, I thought she (I think you're a she, Tizzle, sorry if I'm wrong) was saying, "Hey, Jaycee's had to deal with all this horrid stuff all these years...her daughters thought they were her sisters (there's a "secret" for ya), so if someone kept her bio dad's message a secret (there it is again) from Jaycee now, it would be another secret, which isn't something that is conducive to healing, etc. right now.

Please feel free to correct me if my interpretation is off.

To add to that...can you imagine the secrets PG made Jaycee keep!!! I think trust is paramount to her recovery and there can't be trust when there are secrets. She'll pick up on the fact that something is being withheld and could make more of it than is necessary. Terry can advise her and I imagine Jaycee will listen.

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 09:22 PM
To add to that...can you imagine the secrets PG made Jaycee keep!!! I think trust is paramount to her recovery and there can't be trust when there are secrets. She'll pick up on the fact that something is being withheld and could make more of it than is necessary. Terry can advise her and I imagine Jaycee will listen.

No one is advocating that this information be kept from JC forever.
It is the timing of the request that is the problem. Too soon, too unimportant right now. It is those that know her and are KNOWN to love her that must make that decision.

JBean
10-01-2009, 09:25 PM
His mom held his dad back from making contact by moving to another town and by not listing her phone number, purposely. Which is what Mr. Slayton said was the case in his situation

Link please regarding Slayton's statement.I have not read any such statement.
Actually Slayton moved to Sacramento and as far as he knew terry was still in Anaheim, because he called her at her parents at their Anaheim address and got no response because the phone was disconnected. he said that since Terry did not call him he figured 'out of sight out of mind"

this is from the kennedy and suits interview from KFI that I linked earlier.

JBean
10-01-2009, 09:29 PM
you guys come on. raise the level in here.

We do not know the mind of Slayton except what he has said. We do not know the mind of Terry and Jaycee because it has not been reported. So don't assume to know what is going on in their heads.
Guess or speculate but make sure it is clear that is what you are doing.

Natal
10-01-2009, 09:45 PM
Secrets, phfffff

This has nothing to do with keeping secrets, and the assumption should be made that MS. Probyn is doing what's best for her daughter.
There is no evidence to suggest she is not capable of doing so .

My mother has Alzheimers, and I keep all kinds of things from her that I think are in her best interests. When she asked my sister if she (my mother) had ever had cancer and my sister told her that yes she had, my mother got very upset.

When she later asked me if the same question, knowing how she reacted to my sisters answers, I said " No Mom you never had any cancer" she grinned and said, "that's what I thought, thank God for that".

Am i keeping secrets? Yep, I am.
I WOULD NEVER DARE TO SECOND GUESS SOMEONES MOTHER UNDER THESE CONDITIONS, AND AM ASTONISHED THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WOULD.

Jaycee is not retarded, she does not have dementia and she is 29. She is quite capable of making her own decisions. It is not anyones place, including her mother, to be doing that for her. They might give advice but they can't tell her to do something. In this case, if they are keeping something as fundamental as this a secret from her (and she WILL find out), that is a betrayal of trust and chances are that it will come back to bite them.

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 09:46 PM
Actually Slayton moved to Sacramento and as far as he knew terry was still in Anaheim, because he called her at her parents at their Anaheim address and got no response because the phone was disconnected. he said that since Terry did not call him he figured 'out of sight out of mind"

this is from the kennedy and suits interview from KFI that I linked earlier.

Much different story than to equate it with moving out of town and not having a phone number ON PURPOSE.

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 09:48 PM
Tizzle said;
His mom held his dad back from making contact by moving to another town and by not listing her phone number, purposely. Which is what Mr. Slayton said was the case in his situation

Link please regarding Slayton's statement.I have not read any such statement.

I'm sorry, I misspoke. I don't know nor have I read or heard anywhere that Terry held Ken back from making contact. I also didn't mean to imply that Terry moved away with Jaycee. I was referring to my own experience in that regard. However, Mr. Slayton says he lost touch with her after she called and told him she was pregnant. He says that he tried to call her a few times at her parents Anaheim address but the number had been disconnected. It's in the Kennedy and Suits interview.

Tizzle said;
"We met with his aunt and uncle and discovered that his dad had, in fact, tried to contact him and did, in fact, want to be a part of his life like he was with his other children"

I wouldn't take it to the bank that the statement is true. Afterall look how easy it was for you to make contact "by luck".

Hmmmmmm

Tizzle said;
His mom held his dad back from making contact by moving to another town and by not listing her phone number, purposely.

Just because you were told that story does not make it true.
It isn't the first time that's been told, in fact it is a COMMON defense from irresponsible dead beat dads (and their family). Just sayin.

Really? I wonder why his mom admitted wrongdoing then?

Imbackon, I'm sorry that you don't believe me, not my worry. I didn't question you about your experience with a deadbeat dad, it's rather unnecessary to do that to me. I wasn't TOLD that story, I was a PART of that story for better than 2/3 of my life. Just because my views don't align with yours, does not give you the right to question MY OWN experiences. That's unfair. Listen to the Kennedy and Suits interview. It's a good listen.

JBean
10-01-2009, 09:48 PM
Jaycee is not retarded, she does not have dementia and she is 29. She is quite capable of making her own decisions. It is not anyones place, including her mother, to be doing that for her. They might give advice but they can't tell her to do something. In this case, if they are keeping something as fundamental as this a secret from her (and she WILL find out), that is a betrayal of trust and chances are that it will come back to bite them.
I think imbackon was just drawing a parallel that sometime secrets are appropriate.
With that said we have absolutely no idea if this is being kept from jaycee at all.

JBean
10-01-2009, 09:51 PM
Let's stay on topic of Jaycee and Slayton please. Once we post our own experiences it opens the door to questions that do not need to be answered.

Every situation is different so let's stay on this topic please.

JBean
10-01-2009, 09:55 PM
Much different story than to equate it with moving out of town and not having a phone number ON PURPOSE. I was trying to clarify that Slayton is the one that left town.

IMO neither one of them tried to get hold of the other. He left town tried to call a couple times and gave up. Doesn't demonstrate much motivation imo.
She didn't contact him and I am guessing she wasn't intersted in having a relationship with him. I haven't heard they fought about it or there was any disagreement on the matter.
Why they didn't want to contact each other is unknown.
Seems like it was mutually benefical at the time.jmho of course.

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 10:01 PM
I'm sorry, I misspoke. I don't know nor have I read or heard anywhere that Terry held Ken back from making contact. I also didn't mean to imply that Terry moved away with Jaycee. I was referring to my own experience in that regard. However, Mr. Slayton says he lost touch with her after she called and told him she was pregnant. He says that he tried to call her a few times at her parents Anaheim address but the number had been disconnected. It's in the Kennedy and Suits interview.



Hmmmmmm



Really? I wonder why his mom admitted wrongdoing then?

Imbackon, I'm sorry that you don't believe me, not my worry. I didn't question you about your experience with a deadbeat dad, it's rather unnecessary to do that to me. I wasn't TOLD that story, I was a PART of that story for better than 2/3 of my life. Just because my views don't align with yours, does not give you the right to question MY OWN experiences. That's unfair. Listen to the Kennedy and Suits interview. It's a good listen.

If his mother admitted to this, then I am sorry for your ex that his mom did this.

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 10:03 PM
I was trying to clarify that Slayton is the one that left town.

IMO neither one of them tried to get hold of the other. He left town tried to call a couple times and gave up. Doesn't demonstrate much motivation imo.
She didn't contact him and I am guessing she wasn't intersted in having a relationship with him. I haven't heard they fought about it or there was any disagreement on the matter.
Why they didn't want to contact each other is unknown.
Seems like it was mutually benefical at the time.jmho of course.

BBM
I'm not saying he was father of the year back then. No way. I'm not saying what they were thinking or that they fought about anything, either. I agree that no one knows what the details are. Terry was, by all accounts, a wonderful single mom IMO. I only take issue with them withholding information from Jaycee, if that were the case, and with them not even responding to his inquiries, which seemed to be the case since that is what they stated. That's all.

JBean
10-01-2009, 10:06 PM
I'm not saying he was father of the year back then. No way. I'm not saying what they were thinking or that they fought about anything, either. I agree that no one knows what the details are. Terry was, by all accounts, a wonderful single mom. I only take issue with them withholding information from Jaycee, if that is the case, and with them not even responding to his inquiries, which seems to be the case since that is what they stated. That's all.
As I say, we have no idea if they have told her or not. I assume they have and maybe she just isn't interested right now. jmho.
As far as responding, they probably are not prepared to do that right now, since they are being incredibly private and Slayton is being incredibly public.

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 10:17 PM
As I say, we have no idea if they have told her or not. I assume they have and maybe she just isn't interested right now. jmho.
As far as responding, they probably are not prepared to do that right now, since they are being incredibly private and Slayton is being incredibly public.

He hasn't been public for a week, though. I think contact has already been made to some extent. Glo wouldn't be quiet this long if she weren't getting her way, cmon. :dance: Gotta love her moxy!

JBean
10-01-2009, 10:23 PM
He hasn't been public for a week, though. I think contact has already been made to some extent. Glo wouldn't be quiet this long if she weren't getting her way, cmon. :dance: Gotta love her moxy!
well actually I do not love her moxy and she makes me nuts. :)

If you think contact has been made, then why do you keep assuming he is being kept a secret?

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 10:26 PM
well actually I do not love her moxy and she makes me nuts. :)

If you think contact has been made, then why do you keep assuming he is being kept a secret?

I was speaking in past tense and giving my opinion in response to other posts about why he went public in the first place. I posted way back that I thought contact had been made.

JBean
10-01-2009, 10:29 PM
I was speaking in past tense and responding to other posters questions of me. I posted way back that I thought contact had been made.
Oh I am sorry. So you do not think he is being kept a secret anymore?
What I am understanding you to say is that if Glo wasn't getting what she wanted we would hear about it. Since we haven't heard about it, she must be getting what she wants and that is contact. Is that right? I am trying to understand your position.

Natal
10-01-2009, 10:34 PM
He hasn't been public for a week, though. I think contact has already been made to some extent. Glo wouldn't be quiet this long if she weren't getting her way, cmon. :dance: Gotta love her moxy!

GA would have contacted Jaycee's lawyer directly, not the family (they are irrelevant), and he would have talked to Jaycee directly (she is his client, not the family). So ya, I imagine that the message has been passed on by now.

Tizzle
10-01-2009, 10:36 PM
Oh I am sorry. So you do not think he is being kept a secret anymore?
What I am understanding you to say is that if Glo wasn't getting what she wanted we would hear about it. Since we haven't heard about it, she must be getting what she wants and that is contact. Is that right? I am trying to understand your position.

I believe that both sides are cooperating to whatever extent will be most beneficial to Jaycee and her girls. That is what I believe, yes. You think what you want to think about her, but even Glo has a heart. I'm confident in my belief that she would never exploit the rape and kidnapping of a child, now woman.

JBean
10-01-2009, 10:40 PM
I believe that both sides are cooperating to whatever extent will be most beneficial to Jaycee and her girls. That is what I believe, yes. You think what you want to think about her, but even Glo has a heart. I'm confident in my belief that she would never exploit the rape and kidnapping of a child, now woman.
All I said was she makes me nuts. I think she likes to make people nuts LOL.

kbl8201
10-01-2009, 11:06 PM
I was trying to clarify that Slayton is the one that left town.

IMO neither one of them tried to get hold of the other. He left town tried to call a couple times and gave up. Doesn't demonstrate much motivation imo.
She didn't contact him and I am guessing she wasn't intersted in having a relationship with him. I haven't heard they fought about it or there was any disagreement on the matter.
Why they didn't want to contact each other is unknown.
Seems like it was mutually benefical at the time.jmho of course.

this should be about what jaycee wants and needs and not what happened between ken and terry 30 years ago

Imbackon
10-01-2009, 11:13 PM
The title of this thread "Should Jaycee's Bio Dad Be Allowed to Have a DNA Testing Done?" never made sense to me, because obviously Slayton does not need permission to have a dna test. What he needs to have "allowed" is whether his DNA is a match to JC's DNA regarding him being a father to her. Correct?
So then Isn't this title more accurate " Should Jaycee's Bio Dad Be Allowed (to make Jaycee) Have a DNA Test Done? "

And if that is the case, I see that about 15% of the response to the survey says yes, with an additional nearly 10% saying, yes if the courts agree.

Is this analysis correct?

kbl8201
10-01-2009, 11:27 PM
The title of this thread "Should Jaycee's Bio Dad Be Allowed to Have a DNA Testing Done?" never made sense to me, because obviously Slayton does not need permission to have a dna test. What he needs to have "allowed" is whether his DNA is a match to JC's DNA regarding him being a father to her. Correct?
So then Isn't this title more accurate " Should Jaycee's Bio Dad Be Allowed (to make Jaycee) Have a DNA Test Done? "

And if that is the case, I see that about 15% of the response to the survey says yes, with an additional nearly 10% saying, yes if the courts agree.

Is this analysis correct?

legally i dont think he as a right to make her do anything.
morally im holding out hope he wont even try.
hoping they settle this without court lawyers and judges.

LillyRush
10-02-2009, 11:03 PM
Actually Slayton moved to Sacramento and as far as he knew terry was still in Anaheim, because he called her at her parents at their Anaheim address and got no response because the phone was disconnected. he said that since Terry did not call him he figured 'out of sight out of mind"

this is from the kennedy and suits interview from KFI that I linked earlier.

He also said something to the effect that being he was in Northern California and they were still in So Cal it wasn't like he could just drive over there and make in person contact. I thought it was interesting that he even knew her parents, let alone where they lived and how to contact them. He sure had a lot of information considering this was just a "fling", imo.

kbl8201
10-02-2009, 11:11 PM
He also said something to the effect that being he was in Northern California and they were still in So Cal it wasn't like he could just drive over there and make in person contact. I thought it was interesting that he even knew her parents, let alone where they lived and how to contact them. He sure had a lot of information considering this was just a "fling", imo.

so they dont have phones in northern california from 1979 to 1991 or what?
jeesh:waitasec:

LillyRush
10-02-2009, 11:38 PM
so they dont have phones in northern california from 1979 to 1991 or what?
jeesh:waitasec:

He claims that the number that he had for them became disconnected, coincidentally around the same time that he moved up north and that's when he adopted the "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy. So, who knows.

What I was mainly getting at though is that he seems to have known more about her than he originally let on with the whole thing about the weekend fling at the lake, etc. etc. Even if she was staying at her parents house and that's why he knew where they all lived, that is still more proof that he knew how to reach her. It's a contradiction to the first impression he gave which was that she was some random girl who he talked to once on the phone after the fling and that he never saw again.

Basically, I'm still having trouble with his version of events. I know someone is going to tell me that he's getting old and can't remember everything. If that is the case, then he either shouldn't have gone so public about it or Allred should keep his comments to a minimum. Also, there is a huge difference between simply not remembering something - he could just say he doesn't remember, maybe? - as opposed to outright saying two different things.

kbl8201
10-02-2009, 11:44 PM
He claims that the number that he had for them became disconnected, coincidentally around the same time that he moved up north and that's when he adopted the "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy. So, who knows.

What I was mainly getting at though is that he seems to have known more about her than he originally let on with the whole thing about the weekend fling at the lake, etc. etc. Even if she was staying at her parents house and that's why he knew where they all lived, that is still more proof that he knew how to reach her. It's a contradiction to the first impression he gave which was that she was some random girl who he talked to once on the phone after the fling and that he never saw again.

Basically, I'm still having trouble with his version of events. I know someone is going to tell me that he's getting old and can't remember everything. If that is the case, then he either shouldn't have gone so public about it or Allred should keep his comments to a minimum. Also, there is a huge difference between simply not remembering something - he could just say he doesn't remember, maybe? - as opposed to outright saying two different things.

if he knew terry's parents it wouldnt be too hard to get her number from them though.
i think hes getting into c. molino territory with all these oontridictions

Tizzle
10-03-2009, 12:55 AM
He claims that the number that he had for them became disconnected, coincidentally around the same time that he moved up north and that's when he adopted the "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy. So, who knows.

What I was mainly getting at though is that he seems to have known more about her than he originally let on with the whole thing about the weekend fling at the lake, etc. etc. Even if she was staying at her parents house and that's why he knew where they all lived, that is still more proof that he knew how to reach her. It's a contradiction to the first impression he gave which was that she was some random girl who he talked to once on the phone after the fling and that he never saw again.

Basically, I'm still having trouble with his version of events. I know someone is going to tell me that he's getting old and can't remember everything. If that is the case, then he either shouldn't have gone so public about it or Allred should keep his comments to a minimum. Also, there is a huge difference between simply not remembering something - he could just say he doesn't remember, maybe? - as opposed to outright saying two different things.

Remember, that he didn't contact the media first, they caught him unaware in his yard. It's not hard to believe that he was surprised, nervous and stumbled over some memories or words. Most people would be tilted. Not to mention, he was probably ashamed of his mistakes, as any real man should be. And I believe that Allred is keeping his comments to a minimum by him not taking questions after the press conference. He also says at the end of the Kennedy and Suits interview "I'm glad you guys gave me the opportunity to kinda spell it out here where I'm not looking at everybody." which leads me to believe that the cameras and attention make him nervous. He also didn't come across to me, in this interview, as a man who was proud of the choices he made regarding JC.
He also may have wanted to minimalize the details of their relationship to spare Terry any unnecessary media attention and he would be right in doing that. It's none of our business what happened 20-30 years ago between them. All that matters is now. He was pretty clear in the interview that he didn't want to get into anything about Terry, which I feel is honorable. If he had bad intentions, I believe he would be more than willing to give every detail and probably would add a few for good measure. He's done quite the opposite. I don't think he's old and can't remember everything LOL I think he's of sound mind and I think he remembers everything. I actually think it has severely haunted him, at least for the last 2 decades.
I'm sorry that I keep on about this, I just feel very strongly about it. I don't get a bad feeling about this guy at all and just wish he would be given a chance. He's stayed out of the media, just like he should. Lets just see how it turns out. This very well could be one of her happy endings, hopefully one of many. He doesn't seem the least bit grimey to me, he just seems determined to change the past, for JC and himself. Not so bad. JMO

kbl8201
10-03-2009, 01:02 AM
Remember, that he didn't contact the media first, they caught him unaware in his yard. It's not hard to believe that he was surprised, nervous and stumbled over some memories or words. Most people would be tilted. Not to mention, he was probably ashamed of his mistakes, as any real man should be. And I believe that Allred is keeping his comments to a minimum by him not taking question after the press conference.
He also may have wanted to minimalize the details of their relationship to spare Terry any unnecessary media attention and he would be right in doing that. It's none of our business what happened 20-30 years ago between them. All that matters is now. He was pretty clear in the interview that he didn't want to get into anything about Terry, which I feel is honorable. If he had bad intentions, I believe he would be more than willing to give every detail and probably would add a few for good measure. He's done quite the opposite. I don't think he's old and can't remember everything LOL I think he's of sound mind and I think he remembers everything. I actually think it has severely haunted him, at least for the last 2 decades.
I'm sorry that I keep on about this, I just feel very strongly about it. I don't get a bad feeling about this guy at all and just wish he would be given a chance. He's stayed out of the media, just like he should. Lets just see how it turns out. This very well could be one of her happy endings, hopefully one of many. He doesn't seem the least bit grimey to me, he just seems determined to change the past, for JC and himself. Not so bad. JMO

this is fine as long as hes truthful about the past. being inconsistant on his stories is not helping things

LillyRush
10-03-2009, 01:09 AM
I'm not talking about that very first interview where they caught him working on his car in his front yard or something. I wouldn't expect anyone to be perfectly composed or caught up on the details of something if they were suddenly approached about it in their yard one day. There wasn't even that much detail in that interview, just his reaction to the crime. I'm talking mainly about that press conference and the radio interview with Kennedy and Suits. There are instances of him, and even Allred herself, answering things differently or saying one thing and then when pressed further (by Kennedy, for instance) saying pretty much the exact opposite of what they had just said.

kbl8201
10-03-2009, 01:30 AM
I'm not talking about that very first interview where they caught him working on his car in his front yard or something. I wouldn't expect anyone to be perfectly composed or caught up on the details of something if they were suddenly approached about it in their yard one day. There wasn't even that much detail in that interview, just his reaction to the crime. I'm talking mainly about that press conference and the radio interview with Kennedy and Suits. There are instances of him, and even Allred herself, answering things differently or saying one thing and then when pressed further (by Kennedy, for instance) saying pretty much the exact opposite of what they had just said.

politicians in the making?

Tizzle
10-03-2009, 09:58 AM
I'm not talking about that very first interview where they caught him working on his car in his front yard or something. I wouldn't expect anyone to be perfectly composed or caught up on the details of something if they were suddenly approached about it in their yard one day. There wasn't even that much detail in that interview, just his reaction to the crime. I'm talking mainly about that press conference and the radio interview with Kennedy and Suits. There are instances of him, and even Allred herself, answering things differently or saying one thing and then when pressed further (by Kennedy, for instance) saying pretty much the exact opposite of what they had just said.

I've listened to both the interview and press conference many times and just listened again. I still didn't hear any contradictions. I did hear him say that it STARTED out as a weekend fling at Lake Havasu and continued for about a month after they returned to Anaheim. But that's not a contradiction. Could you give me an example of one of these contradictions? Because I must still be missing them. Thank you.

JBean
10-03-2009, 10:19 AM
I've listened to both the interview and press conference many times and just listened again. I still didn't hear any contradictions. I did hear him say that it STARTED out as a weekend fling at Lake Havasu and continued for about a month after they returned to Anaheim. But that's not a contradiction. Could you give me an example of one of these contradictions? Because I must still be missing them. Thank you.
I think the odd thing I heard was when he was asked if he sought Jaycee out, he said "I didn't even know she existed". Then Kennedy pointed that out as inconsistent with his press conference.He responded without skipping a beat and went on to tell of trying to contact Terry to see the child. It was strange. That and the "out of sight out of mind" comment are really the only 2 things about the interview that were off. beyond that he sounded very sincere.

Tizzle
10-03-2009, 11:21 AM
I agree, Jelly. Those statements stuck out to me, as well. However, I've pondered over them and listened to them repeatedly and don't feel that he was being dishonest when he made them.
When he said "..out of sight, out of mind, SORRY.", the tone in his voice said, to me, that while he wasn't proud of himself for adopting this mindset it was in the past and can't be changed now. All that matters is now and I believe that he has been sincere in his desires to make right, all the wrong he has done.
When he said, "I didn't know she existed." I think he was just incorrect in his choice of words for summing up the situation in one sentence. He knew she existed, we learned that in the press conference that took place the day before the Kennedy and Suits interview. He seems to be nervous about public speaking, as many are, and the result of that can, many times, be as simple as making a poor choice in words to express one's feelings. That doesn't make him contradictory, it actually makes him human. JMO

Sorry again for not letting this go. LOL. I just feel drawn to this aspect of this story, for some reason. My intentions are to be objective and not argumentative, honestly. My hopes are for any happy ending that can possibly be given to JC and family. :angel:

kbl8201
10-04-2009, 12:13 AM
I agree, Jelly. Those statements stuck out to me, as well. However, I've pondered over them and listened to them repeatedly and don't feel that he was being dishonest when he made them.
When he said "..out of sight, out of mind, SORRY.", the tone in his voice said, to me, that while he wasn't proud of himself for adopting this mindset it was in the past and can't be changed now. All that matters is now and I believe that he has been sincere in his desires to make right, all the wrong he has done.
When he said, "I didn't know she existed." I think he was just incorrect in his choice of words for summing up the situation in one sentence. He knew she existed, we learned that in the press conference that took place the day before the Kennedy and Suits interview. He seems to be nervous about public speaking, as many are, and the result of that can, many times, be as simple as making a poor choice in words to express one's feelings. That doesn't make him contradictory, it actually makes him human. JMO

Sorry again for not letting this go. LOL. I just feel drawn to this aspect of this story, for some reason. My intentions are to be objective and not argumentative, honestly. My hopes are for any happy ending that can possibly be given to JC and family. :angel:

a happy ending for jaycee and her family is what i want more then anything too......if that includes bio dad in the package, i wont be mad. :woohoo:

LillyRush
10-04-2009, 03:16 AM
I've listened to both the interview and press conference many times and just listened again. I still didn't hear any contradictions. I did hear him say that it STARTED out as a weekend fling at Lake Havasu and continued for about a month after they returned to Anaheim. But that's not a contradiction. Could you give me an example of one of these contradictions? Because I must still be missing them. Thank you.

All of the things that JBean mentioned above and also the thing about having a mutual friend which conflicts again with his comment about whether he knew she existed. Pretty much everything he said after Kennedy questioned him on the "I didn't know she existed" comment because when confronted he then backtracked and went into all these examples that prove that he actually did know she existed. I think that he would like for people to think he didn't know she existed, since that would make his absence seem less intentional or hurtful. Maybe that has been his standard line, what he's told many people this whole time. But, at this point, he has given enough accounts to the media that an interviewer can now go back and point out..hey, wait, I read this or you said that.

kbl8201
10-04-2009, 03:38 AM
All of the things that JBean mentioned above and also the thing about having a mutual friend which conflicts again with his comment about whether he knew she existed. Pretty much everything he said after Kennedy questioned him on the "I didn't know she existed" comment because when confronted he then backtracked and went into all these examples that prove that he actually did know she existed. I think that he would like for people to think he didn't know she existed, since that would make his absence seem less intentional or hurtful. Maybe that has been his standard line, what he's told many people this whole time. But, at this point, he has given enough accounts to the media that an interviewer can now go back and point out..hey, wait, I read this or you said that.

im more worried about his honesty for the present and the future right now then from 30 years ago.