soozieqtips
Owned by a cat...
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Also, you have to think about what the absent father would have added to the equation. My father was aggressive and physically intimidating towards my mother, and when he and my mother divorced when I was six, my 10-year-old brother went to live with my father, where he learnt to be exactly like my father, aggressive and physically intimidating. Had my father not been around, my brother wouldn't have learnt this unacceptable behaviour from him, and his three (!) wives would have been spared a lot of heartache. So just having a father in the picture means nothing if the father is a bad influence.I agree with all you've said. The quality of the parenting is the most important thing. I'd like to add that a huge percentage of marriages/relationships with children end up in either divorce or separation. In Australia it's close to 50% and I've not read of any correlation between that and aggressive or deviant behaviour in the children of one parent families.
OP was not a child when his mother died, he was 15. I've not read of him displaying any aberrant behaviour prior to her death. If this is when he went to live with Arnold, you have by necessity to draw some conclusions here. Why was he allowed to drive a car without a licence? How was he able to buy a car before he was old enough to do so? This points to Arnold IMO. Young men can be very reckless when they're young and good parents can and do point out the consequences of bad behaviour if they learn of it. However young people, both male and female, often hold the view, "That wouldn't happen to me". It's critical as parents to set out boundaries from early childhood and keep reinforcing them as they mature.
A further point. Arnold has a 24 room mansion, and no doubt his brothers have very large homes too, leaving aside Henke. Is it conceivable in your wildest dreams that Oscar, Carl and Aimee would not have been taken in by someone in the family and have them placed into orphanages as wards of the state? Totally ridiculous.
If Uncle Arnold turned a blind eye to what the P boys were up to, either because he was too busy to keep an eye on them, or because he thought "boys will be boys" - then like I said before, he had an influence on their development, and the men they eventually became. Without clear boundaries, kids/teenagers can go completely off the rails, as we've seen with OP, although in his case, the rails have come back... to his new shower room :smile: