GUILTY UK - Helen Bailey, 51, Royston, 11 April 2016 #10

[ColourPurple]

But she should have gone to the police with her 'intuitive doubts' when he switched tone and quizzed her on his way back from Broadstairs. That kind of information is like a piece from a jigsaw puzzle.

What have you told police? Hello?

Definitely. Did she not do that?

 

[LozDa]

Absolutely and it was clear from Helen's book that she did not want a counsellor.

I do feel that for support to be unbiased though it can't be blurred by personal involvement ...that's what happened here...they became friends. Once that happens the boundaries become less clear.
it's not the fault of Shelley Whitehead that IS turned out to be a predatory psychopath. However had she maintained a professional distance she might have been more able to help Helen really evaluate this new relationship.


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But she was a life coach. Not a counsellor. It's like blaming a motivational speaker for not keeping professional boundaries for becoming friends with someone who goes to watch them talk...

Where has the belief that she was required to keep professional boundaries come from?

I get that people don't believe in the virtue of Life Coaches (I don't either), but I respect that Helen formed a friendship with one and respected her views.

No one could know what IS was. As far as Helen knew, IS was perfect for her and DID like dogs.

We now know differently, but they didn't know that at the time. He seemed ideal for her and she was saying that if there had been any red flags at the beginning, Helen would have spotted them. Unfortunately, no red flags appeared to anyone. She was simply pointing out that no one has any idea of his true character. I don't think saying that is unprofessional in the slightest. Especially given that she is not a counsellor or anything more prestigious than a Life Coach.

 

[TheRisenBishop]

Absolutely and it was clear from Helen's book that she did not want a counsellor.

I do feel that for support to be unbiased though it can't be blurred by personal involvement ...that's what happened here...they became friends. Once that happens the boundaries become less clear.
it's not the fault of Shelley Whitehead that IS turned out to be a predatory psychopath. However had she maintained a professional distance she might have been more able to help Helen really evaluate this new relationship.


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Totally agree. No professional would countenance such a relationship. The fact she lacked such professionalism may or may not have played a small part in Helen furthering her relationship with IS. Either way it was a mistake!

 

[LozDa]

But she should have gone to the police with her 'intuitive doubts' when he switched tone and quizzed her on his way back from Broadstairs. That kind of information is like a piece from a jigsaw puzzle.

What have you told police? Hello?

That much I agree with!

 

[LozDa]

Maybe it's just my deep-rooted need for everyone to get along and like each other.

:laughing:

 

[Tortoise]

Definitely. Did she not do that?

I haven't heard that she did, it sounds to me that she is saying it now to cash in on her 5 minutes of fame.
It wasn't in her police statement. I can't remember if she even appeared in person or via statement as a witness in the trial.

 

[cottonweaver]

I haven't heard that she did, it sounds to me that she is saying it now to cash in on her 5 minutes of fame.
It wasn't in her police statement. I can't remember if she even appeared in person or via statement as a witness in the trial.

neither AFAIK

ETA : I'll check though and edit this if needed.

 

[peter010101]

My oldest friend worked for the CPS (a third or fourth career) and was known for dealing with cases of seizures of assets where others had given up. She got a yacht from one gangster!

I did a double-take there, thinking for a few seconds that she'd been given a yacht!
Speed-reading can lead to misunderstanding, in many ways
(Ok i guess it was my speed-thinking )

 

[Squamous]

No, she wasn't a witness. I'm bothered mostly by her having a televised interview about the private thoughts one of her clients who is now deceased - does she not claim to offer any confidentiality or discretion?? And on top of that, she is saying that Helen would have noticed if anything was amiss, and that IS was considerate and loved dogs. She's speaking about a man who murdered his partner (ultimate act of inconsiderate behaviour) and killed his family dog! Clearly Helen didn't notice something was amiss unless there's some alternate version of events that she is referring to!

 

[LozDa]

Sorry, I've just been thinking about why I'm defending this and I think I can't bear to think of one more person profiting or showboating about anything to do with this. I'm really, really trying to believe in the good in people. Because I can't stand to think someone else that Helen trusted and liked is letting her down.

My arguments about your posts aren't directed at you, they're expressions of hope that Helen hasn't been let down again xx

 

[cottonweaver]

I wonder whether he was required to lose the beard. If not, it was a dumb move on his part. Unmasked, almost literally.

So true.

 

[Squamous]

I did a double-take there, thinking for a few seconds that she'd been given a yacht!
Speed-reading can lead to misunderstanding, in many ways
(Ok i guess it was my speed-thinking )

I thought she was given the yacht too! Nice work if you can get it

 

[TheRisenBishop]

Originally Posted by Tortoise
But she should have gone to the police with her 'intuitive doubts' when he switched tone and quizzed her on his way back from Broadstairs. That kind of information is like a piece from a jigsaw puzzle.

What have you told police? Hello?

Exactly, and this is where the duality of the relationship becomes a problem. Did she refrain from acting on her concerns as she should have because she knew she had encouraged Helen to deepen the relationship with IS? Did she do it because it might hurt her own credibility? Had she maintained a professional relationship would she have found it easier to go to the police and voice her concerns?

 

[ColourPurple]

Two finance related pieces of info in this article. He was treasurer of the bowls club and was famously tight with money!

Stewart was a keen bowls player and was a treasurer at the Bassingbourn Bowls Club in Royston for a number of years.
Despite his commitment to the club, Stewart was famously tight with his money and once refused to contribute just £10 to help buy a new water tank.

http://www.itv.com/news/anglia/2017...-web-of-deceit-to-cover-up-his-lovers-murder/

 

[BlueMosaic]

I did a double-take there, thinking for a few seconds that she'd been given a yacht!
Speed-reading can lead to misunderstanding, in many ways
(Ok i guess it was my speed-thinking )

That should have read "out of", perhaps... or I should ask for a ride around the coast. As she lives in the midlands and has never, so far as I know sailed (more of a walking lady) it might be a bit surplus.

 

[cottonweaver]

Two finance related pieces of info in this article. He was treasurer of the bowls club and was famously tight with money!

Stewart was a keen bowls player and was a treasurer at the Bassingbourn Bowls Club in Royston for a number of years.
Despite his commitment to the club, Stewart was famously tight with his money and once refused to contribute just £10 to help buy a new water tank.

http://www.itv.com/news/anglia/2017...-web-of-deceit-to-cover-up-his-lovers-murder/

Oh my. Thanks for that.
I did see poor Joe C in some of the IS bowls matches, playing alongside and against IS - not going to post those links obviously though.

 

[Squamous]

Sorry, I've just been thinking about why I'm defending this and I think I can't bear to think of one more person profiting or showboating about anything to do with this. I'm really, really trying to believe in the good in people. Because I can't stand to think someone else that Helen trusted and liked is letting her down.

My arguments about your posts aren't directed at you, they're expressions of hope that Helen hasn't been let down again xx

I think there's lots of our own feelings tied up in all our posts about the case, and I agree that our thoughts and arguments aren't personal. I know a big part of me unjustly feels that the coach should have said "he's clearly a psycho, don't go there" because I so desperately wish Helen had lived. But I do also think there's some rational disdain in how I feel about her encouraging Helen to ignore the internal voice she had that said "too soon". And I do stand by my comments above about her behaviour now, I think it's really inappropriate.

 

[MillyM]

Also, one of the many activities available at Bedford is indoor bowls...wouldn't want him to be able to take part in that.

No way - to repeat his own phrase - bloody bowls, how convenient for him! Cushy number. I wonder if he still thinks it was worth it, just for money. Though *if* he did have a hand in first wife's death, he probably got too cocky and thought he was invincible.

 

[cottonweaver]

he was once the TREASURER at the Bowls club!

 

[LozDa]

I think there's lots of our own feelings tied up in all our posts about the case, and I agree that our thoughts and arguments aren't personal. I know a big part of me unjustly feels that the coach should have said "he's clearly a psycho, don't go there" because I so desperately wish Helen had lived. But I do also think there's some rational disdain in how I feel about her encouraging Helen to ignore the internal voice she had that said "too soon". And I do stand by my comments above about her behaviour now, I think it's really inappropriate.

And deep down, I suspect I feel the same. I'm just wary of posting it somewhere so easily accessible. But I admit that's my own issue to deal with and I shouldn't be trying to make others feel the same as me.

It's just been an emotional day and I just want to stop all the betrayals of Helen. There have been too many already.