Really well said, GBMG. I get the impression that no one really knew the BF/F very well even though he and SL were engaged to be married and knew each other for almost two years.
bbm: The characterizations and feedback comes from the apparent "radio silence", and in the lack of actions (perceived lack of caring and compassion) after she disappeared. And, you pointed out in this post (bringing forward) perhaps the possible answer or a variation of why there was radio silence:
"That said, I do still think it's possible that SL had decided to break up with him, and that he was "suckered" bc he had made a very public display of his love for her via the ring and engagement party/announcement. (Thus prompting the rest of MMQC's statement, that "he had given her a very expensive ring and she takes off." -- could he have said "takes IT off"?) That's right up there with being left at the alter, IMO -- a kind of public humiliation."
And in the "no publicity" aspect was there something known that charted that course, or was there fear (something unknown or suspected) that silenced those who were searching for her?
So, a break up could have been true, or fictionalized to cover up. One would have to be a hell of an actor to pull off the latter, especially with the mother who was having a breakdown, allegedly....
Thanks, Rose
BBM1: Yeah, that's odd, right? Although "no one" means "no one speaking to us on this thread." SL's brother may have been a little too young to know him well, and MMQC didn't socialize that much with SL and the BF/F by that time (didn't care to either, it seems). So we know him that much less. I totally agree: You have to read silence with care. There seems to be a group of SL's friends not represented here, and they may have known him better.
BBM2 (not counting your bolding of my quote from the earlier post): For me, it's hard to evaluate the "no publicity" request. Some people just naturally shrink from the public spotlight, others may be hyper-focused on reputation or even the
appearance of impropriety. I think some older people may even see "public-ness" as contrary to traditional values of "femininity." Exposure. Nakedness -- the metaphorical confused with the actual.
To me "no publicity" speaks to EL's uncertainty about what had happened. Are you asking, did EL have
reason to suspect SL may have run off voluntarily? It's possible. I'm just not sure it's necessary in order for her to be reluctant about publicity (or to be uncertain). I haven't been able to form an opinion on it.
BBM3: I'm not 100% sure I know what you mean here. I don't see that story being sold anywhere but here, do you (I'm thinking that to serve as a coverup it would have to be articulated)? Or are you thinking, as per my post, that he could have fictionalized it for his parents? Yes, def, but if he did not believe it himself, wouldn't it as a fictional story make him look bad bc it gives him an emotional motive? Not sure. Could someone who actually
is guilty have (in my hypothetical "sucker" scenario) fictionalized it to the BF/F to keep him from questioning SL's disappearance? I suppose, but good gosh, that's so far afield from what's known I'm getting dizzy just thinking it!
So many things could have made the mother break down -- from not knowing (and fearing the worst) to knowing (and fearing the worst)! She could even have been conflicted by her son's (hypothetical) request that she
not reach out to SL's family.
