This is so hard to believe in my town..I am helping ya and listening to everything and maybe iu can help me...I have had restless nights...and cried to my girls..that no matter what u can come to me..I have 3 girls! I am scared to death...I watch them constantly ...I know this is a small town but I can't seem to let them walk on their own anywhere!..if u help me I will help u..our comminuty needs to find hailey..we r so restless!
I empathize, msyanas.
When my son was 12, a 16-year-old girl disappeared in our small town. Her car was found abandoned on a small hill on a highway that ran straight through town. She had disappeared in broad daylight at a time when people were moving up and down the highway on their way to work.
Weeks and months went by with no break in the case. Many in the town turned on her parents, accusing them of killing their daughter and staging a kidnapping. Later still, some children in the country were out hunting for firewood and found the girl's body stuffed under an abandoned house. She had been held in the house and tortured for a long time before being killed. The killer was found, thank goodness, but our small-town security was shattered.
It was further shattered when the daughter of a former mayor/sister-in-law of a former governor was murdered in her home...an antebellum home that could be seen half-way down Main Street...catty corner to the church and manse where I'd grown up and spent many a day roaming and playing as a child myself. She had been bound...her mouth and nose wrapped with duct tape...and left to die, while her bed-ridden husband hear everything from the next room.
So how do you protect your children without putting them in mortal fear of anyone they meet? Well, my son and I took a self-defense course that included some very practical things to do if under attack (and sadly, my son later found himself in a position to use them...but they worked!) It also included basic safety rules. We implement them to this day.
Assure them of your love. Let them see you locking and bolting doors at night. Keep a light on at night that can be seen both inside and outside.
Be honest with them about the progress of the search, but don't go into too many vivid details. Most of all, let them talk to you about it and ask any questions, no matter how gruesome the questions may be.
Remind them of their safety rules, and keep a close eye on them. Explain that you don't want to keep them babies, but you do want to keep them safe. Insist on this. Don't succumb to being afraid of not being the "cool parents." Be the "nerdy" parents that insist on knowing where they are and who they are with at all times. They might gripe about it, but they will secretly be thankful.
Get involved with other parents. Watch out for each other's children. Band together to carpool kids hither and yon and chaperon their activities. Let each other know what is okay behavior for your kids and what is off limits.
And if you believe in the power of prayer...pray fervently for guidance and protection.
