WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 8

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Absolutely. Also, it seems like a lot of the information he is being asked about are things that were in the declaration he made to the court many months before Sky went missing. He was not publicly bashing her then, he was filing a document with the court that has now been made public. If my kid was missing and people were asking me questions you better believe I would answer them and I would answer them honestly, even if it made my ex look bad. If it walks like a duck...

I agree.

Not once have I seen him call a presser to discuss his "crazy wife." Nor has he seemed comfortable discussing it.

I get the feeling that this guy is just broken. He's been through hell. He's been flogged for YEARS. He lost his business, his home, his condo, his wife, both kids, and now his son is perhaps dead. And no matter what he does or says people keep blaming him.

His no longer has the strength to tell the media "I don't think it is appropriate or important to discuss Julia at this time, let us focus on Sky."
 
(snipped for brevity)
I agree with you and usually would not approve of him talking about her on TV, but he does seem to be working very closely with LE and I am guessing he may be doing that at the suggestion of LE. It seems like she may have support from a few people close to her who don't really see the extent of her mental illness. Suppose she did get her son spirited away by some underground group that hides abused children. I don't think it's likely, but just suppose. Or maybe her close supporters know things they're not revealing b/c they don't understand how sick she is. His statements may be a way to clue them in.

Also, I don't really agree that there are always three sides to every story. Sometimes one person is lying and one person is telling the truth.

By the way I'm a fan of yours on the Lisa Irwin thread, and even though I don't see eye-to-eye with you in this case, I like your independent thinking and the way you don't bow down to groupthink. Hugs.

Even though I support SM, I do see a little bit of what bothers you about some of his TV appearances. I think he compromised his principles in being with her in the first place, probably overly impressed with her charms, letting the little head do his thinking for him, so to speak...and look what has happened. If he married someone in his league he would have a normal life right now. Why are looks so important to some people? I don't believe him when he says they had a normal marriage for 5 years.

I see Solomon as being very naive and soft, the kind who could easily be manipulated. Just because he might come from a male dominated culture doesn't mean that he has the same views of women or acts the way they do in his country of birth. I know quite a few guys who allow their wives to dominate them, my dad being one of them, and they remind me a lot of Solomon. He seems to be the type who is very eager, very willing to please. Just like I can't blame battered wives for staying with their abusers, I also can't blame Solomon for staying with her for such a long time if he really did feel that she was the love of his life. Maybe he had no other gf besides her, maybe he had been with no other woman, and he had a hard time letting go of her after being with her for so long. i think he did state that he only realized how wrong the whole situation was when he had a chance to live separately away from her.
 
I think she used the Mr. Ed photo I talked about the other day. It was not a $5000 a month photo. It was a Big Mac and a "hey thanks" photo.

:rocker: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :rocker:
 
(snipped for brevity)
I agree with you and usually would not approve of him talking about her on TV, but he does seem to be working very closely with LE and I am guessing he may be doing that at the suggestion of LE. It seems like she may have support from a few people close to her who don't really see the extent of her mental illness. Suppose she did get her son spirited away by some underground group that hides abused children. I don't think it's likely, but just suppose. Or maybe her close supporters know things they're not revealing b/c they don't understand how sick she is. His statements may be a way to clue them in.

Also, I don't really agree that there are always three sides to every story. Sometimes one person is lying and one person is telling the truth.
By the way I'm a fan of yours on the Lisa Irwin thread, and even though I
don't see eye-to-eye with you in this case, I like your independent thinking and the way you don't bow down to groupthink. Hugs.

Even though I support SM, I do see a little bit of what bothers you about some of his TV appearances. I think he compromised his principles in being with her in the first place, probably overly impressed with her charms, letting the little head do his thinking for him, so to
speak...and look what has happened. If he married someone in his league he would have a
normal life right now. Why are looks so important to some people? I don't believe him when he says they had a normal marriage for 5 years.
:star1:
 
Actually, I think it is helpful for him to explain some of what was going on with her. So I care.... the more I understand about how her illness affected her, the more I might be able to come up with plausible theories about where she might have put Sky, kwim?

If she is afraid of dust, chances are she did not drive down a dirt road to put Sky wherever he is now. If she is so controlling as to deny the use of a bathroom, maybe that is why Sky is missing? Maybe he soiled himself and she flipped? Knowing more about how she reacts, will help LE in the search for Sky, I think anyway.

Salem

I guess if you believe him, yes I could see how that would help you or others. I have a problem with his honesty. I think his appearances are self serving and only spark more outrage against a woman who may or may not have killed her child.

I think if LE hasn't figured out what happened, we have a huge problem. He should continue to talk to LE and stop appearing on tv with his divorce attorney by his side. Why does he need his attorney there anyway?

Parents snap and kill their children even with no mental illness. OCD may or may not have anything to do with Sky's disappearance. Perhaps she hated SM's guts and took it out on Sky. IDK and nobody knows what her state of mind was at the time.

It does concern me that the LDT test was inconclusive to the bruises question. Not to say he has anything to do with Sky's disappearance but maybe what Julia said about him may be true.
 
The guy who owns the sugar daddy "arrangements" website, he said he can't tell whether someone registered for themselves or if someone else did it using their name (because it's free and he doesn't do background checks).

Can LE determine who registered the account? If they can, I can understand why they wouldn't make that info public. I just wondered if all that computer forensics that we see on shows like CSI, SVI, NCIS etc is realistic. A lot of their TV science is fake, but I don't know enough about computers for this one.

They can find out the IP number and then go to the ISP for subscriber information. They would need a warrant for the ISP information. The results would not be instant like the CSI t.v. show.
If the IP address is traced back to her home then it will be hard for her to say it was somebody else since she lives alone.
 
What I don't understand is why JB chose not to get a sitter and leave her children alone?

She had the choice to leave them with their father, her mother, her brother, hire a baby sitter. Even if she couldn't afford a babysitter she could have offered to trade baby sitting time with another parent with children her childrens age. MOST 4 year olds are in preschool at least 3 days a week. There are umpteen playgroups offered all over the place. We know from residents of the building there are other children and other parents in the building who could have recommended a sitter. She could have even called the county to find out about baby sitting services. If her income allowed for it she could have contacted the county for day care assistance and providers who accept that assistance. She had a large number of friends who provided their testimonial for her in court. She could have asked them, asked someone in their family.

Yet she chose NONE of the above suggested options and chose to repeatedly leave them alone and for extended periods of time. It was like playing Russian Roulette (no pun intended). Statistically the odds against a 2 and 4 yr old NOT getting hurt as often and for as lengthy times as she admitted to leaving them unsupervised.
Now she is not talking and no one can find Sky. :(

BBM Yes, that is abuse. How do you keep 2 little ones from destroying the house? Kitchen to eat? Bathroom to potty?
Turn your back and 2yr/4yr olds get into allot of things, love to get their own drinks etc............
did she drug them up? keep them locked in a room? what did she really do to these children? That is my question.
Where is little daughter?
Hopefully in a safe place away from mother!
 
IMO if SM were 'bashing' his wife, he'd be offering up more than the court documents which became available via MSM. He would have offered up why his wife claimed he kept their daughter from them for 7 months. He would have offered up the full story about her 3 hospitalizations. He's done none of that.

I have to disagree on the suggestion he stop appearing on TV to keep his childs story in the media. LE is still ASKING for tips. They are still doing two pressers a day? or is it down to 1 per day now this week? If LE had this figured out, they wouldn't be utilizing the media as they are.

More power too him. I disagree on hiding her illness, his not talking is more enabling. This mother needs help. She seriously needs help if she wishes to have any further involvement in her daughters life. Which sadly may be visits in a penitentiary.

Any media is better than no media, as with the thousands of MP cases out there. IIRC Charley project last had 9000 unsolved missing persons cases. We have families of the missing begging for even a paragraph. I'm afraid there just isn't going to be a happy median here.

Heck this LE department even openly solicited tips from Psychics - despite all we have read about how they interfere and are not reliable in MP cases. That tells me SM is likely doing as much media as he is per LE's request.

JMO
 
I think I disagree but only in my own personal experience and I am on the other side of the fence. I have OCD and exposure therapy and coping skills are more important for my condition. SSRI replaces the serotonin which is good but its like putting a bandaid on a severed arm. It wasnt until I got to the root of the problem and understood it that I was able to refocus reevaluate and laugh about it. I still do it but most of the time I can catch myself. I know people have it far worse than me. The condition evolves.

As a mental health counselor (verified by WS), I really appreciate your post. I have seem some amazing stories of recovery through exposure therapy and other C/BT techniques -- often these clients were not on any medications and demonstrated dramatic progress. Of course, I have also seen good responses to medication, especially when used in conjunction with other therapeutic interventions. Even if OCD does have a primary genetic basis, that doesn't exclude therapeutic techniques from helping to alleviate symptoms, as you so thoughtfully pointed out from your own experience. Just think about it: there are plenty of mental health conditions that respond to treatment other than medication (depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc). Thank you for your story!

I do still wish JB had gotten help -- there's plenty of it out there and lots of different approaches. Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if she had gotten good treatment (even if she didn't do something to Sky, maybe we wouldn't be stuck with a little boy who is missing and a mom who won't give up any info....)
 
Despite her mental state, she has reportedly fought for custody of her children. IMO, she may not be able to recognize that she is incapable of caring for herself or her children. I am not a mental health expert, nor have I evaluated her mental health status.

My point is that her husband has reported that his wife suffers from OCD, bi-polar disorder, and depression. Based on this information, I believe that JB was/is incapable of making rational decisions regarding herself & her children. I believe that JB is mentally ill.

I also care about her missing child.

I also believe that a mentally ill person does not deserve to be called "crazy" or "psycho" or "evil".

While tending to agree with you about labeling the mental ill, I must respectively disagree about evil. Many therapists I think believe there is a deep seated evil is some that cannot be explained. IMO Jeffrey Dalmer, for one.... JMO, IMO, etc, but I think it's something organic they just haven't placed a finger on yet; whether it be a "wire" just not connected, crossed, displaced, malformed or just not there.
 
I guess if you believe him, yes I could see how that would help you or others. I have a problem with his honesty. I think his appearances are self serving and only spark more outrage against a woman who may or may not have killed her child.

I think if LE hasn't figured out what happened, we have a huge problem. He should continue to talk to LE and stop appearing on tv with his divorce attorney by his side. Why does he need his attorney there anyway?

Parents snap and kill their children even with no mental illness. OCD may or may not have anything to do with Sky's disappearance. Perhaps she hated SM's guts and took it out on Sky. IDK and nobody knows what her state of mind was at the time.

It does concern me that the LDT test was inconclusive to the bruises question. Not to say he has anything to do with Sky's disappearance but maybe what Julia said about him may be true.

okay, if what Julia had said about him was true, why then did she ask for her beloved daughter to be sent to him rather than a foster home to be looked after? this is a woman who fought long and hard to gain sole custody of her kids and relinquish the father's rights to his children. Now all of a sudden, she doesn't deem him to be a danger to his daughter anymore after she had accused him of not only physically abusing M, but also sexually abusing her as well. what is up with that? and if she was so concerned for her children, why leave them alone for 12 hours, why leave one of the children in the car again even after she was punished for it previously?

And btw, as the police have said, if the facts of the case seem to cast suspicion on the mother, then they can't do anything about it. SM declaration in court was made public, and he was asked about it by the media. he doesn't go to the media to talk about his wife, rather he has been pleading with them to help find his son. if the public feels outraged at the mother, it is her actions and not the father who has caused it. why isn't she out there helping to look for her missing son? why isn't she talking to the police? why did she lie about running out of gas? why did she neglect her children for 12 hours? mental illness is not an excuse for her behaviour, since there are plenty of people who suffer similar severe symptoms who love their children enough to try and get help for their problems. At the very least she could have gotten one of her friends or family members to look after the kids if she had a hard time coping with them.
 
I guess if you believe him, yes I could see how that would help you or others. I have a problem with his honesty. I think his appearances are self serving and only spark more outrage against a woman who may or may not have killed her child.

I think if LE hasn't figured out what happened, we have a huge problem. He should continue to talk to LE and stop appearing on tv with his divorce attorney by his side. Why does he need his attorney there anyway?

Parents snap and kill their children even with no mental illness. OCD may or may not have anything to do with Sky's disappearance. Perhaps she hated SM's guts and took it out on Sky. IDK and nobody knows what her state of mind was at the time.

It does concern me that the LDT test was inconclusive to the bruises question. Not to say he has anything to do with Sky's disappearance but maybe what Julia said about him may be true.

So let me get this straight - a father has no business pleading for their missing child's return on TV? I'm guessing parents such as Kaine Horman, Bradley Lockhart, Marc Klaas, or the hundreds of others out there should just clam up and not speak a word to anyone regarding their child that is missing?



~jmo~
 
I disagree. I can think of an easy dozen GREAT reasons why the courts would not grant him immediate custody, and none of them have anything to do with their being something wrong with him.

In any case, the guy has a LOT on his plate right now. We don't even know if he asked for full custody.

Reports are that he did ask. Reports are also that the courts felt:
1. M had not seen him for a long time so they needed to start with visits, and
2. LE wanted free access to M and were wary of having her in anyone's custody but CPS's.

Makes sense to me and neither show there is something "wrong" with the father. I can believe that LE, at this point, may think they cannot guarantee that SM would protect M from contact with her mother. So CPS custody right now is optimal for them. But he's getting visits and after awhile, I'm sure the incredible damage JB did to her daughter's relationship with SM will get better.

The important thing to note is that despite ALL of the horrible accusations against SM that JB made, like physically abusing and bruising both kids, being violent and sexually molesting M, her lawyer, on her behalf, asked that M be placed in the FATHER's care, rather than the state's. So much for her allegations, huh?
 
I was married in 2003 and I was 22. I am turning 33 in two months. How did her age not progress? I want a do over!:waitasec:

2003 to 2011 is 8 years. 22 + 8 = 30. So....????
 
Do your panic attacks make you irresponsible? Do you use your panic attacks as an excuse for crappy behavior? SB is a sucker. He is the only one who has compassion or love for her. She really screwed that one up.

Panic attacks are a nightmare. Panic attacks are hell, as anyone who has experienced them will attest.

SM is not the only one who has compassion.

According to SM, his wife was diagnosed with severe OCD, bipolar disorder, and depression.

I have compassion for anyone who is afflicted with mental illness.

I don't believe that anyone who suffers from mental illness deserves to be called "crazy" or "nuts" or "psycho" or any other derogatory term.

Do we call those who suffer from Dementia or Alzheimer's "crazy" or "nuts" or psycho"?
 
I have not read all of the posts, but I have tried to keep up with this case. My thoughts are this....BOTH of these parents have issues. A court does not put a restraining order against a father for almost an entire year with NO EVIDENCE AT ALL just because his wife said he was a bad father. I truly feel for this family, but I don't think the entire truth has come out about the father. Something is not right here. The mother is obviously mentally ill. I have a good friend whose sister was diagnosed as bi-polar after the birth of her second child and it is very sad what they go through. A lot of the time they don't even know what they are doing. Family, friends and people close to this couple surly are helping the police put the puzzle pieces together.

What concerns me the most is the information in the declaration from December 2010 which states JB thought she might harm Sky and the close bond she has with the daughter. Everyone here figured that out before the declaration was made public. These words were written almost a year ago and the father's greatest fear seems to have come to fruition.....This is all too sad to comprehend. Sky.....where are you?
 
While tending to agree with you about labeling the mental ill, I must respectively disagree about evil. Many therapists I think believe there is a deep seated evil is some that cannot be explained. IMO Jeffrey Dalmer, for one.... JMO, IMO, etc, but I think it's something organic they just haven't placed a finger on yet; whether it be a "wire" just not connected, crossed, displaced, malformed or just not there.

I am a huge fan of Candice Delong. She was a FBI proflier and now does a show called Deadly Women on ID. She discusses women who are past a sociopath and into pure evil.
 
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