UK - Man who raped daughter (4) walks free...

Missizzy said:

This is a really hard one for me. I am heartbroken for the child, first and foremost. I read a lot into the child's statement which has been reported, "Papa, it's me!!" Could there be sadder words? This leads me to believe, though, that the child was shocked by her father's behavior and that she had some sort of experience with this man doing strange things while asleep. I'm glad I was not on that jury.

ITA that this man should never be around children while sleeping--ever. There will have to be an elaborate plan to ensure safe visitation with the child, though, as it seems as if they have a loving relationship.

All that said, I am here to raise my hand and say you all would NOT believe the things I have done during my seizures. As far as I know, I've never had sex, but I am totally gone and around the bend when I have them. I have gone looking for a cat in the snow, written poetry and sent it to people I hardly know, moved animals around the house and placed them in weird places, gotten into the shower with my clothes on and sat for several hours until someone found me, bolted out the door into the street and curled up in a ball, bolted (and I can hardly walk) into the fence and tried to dig a hole under the fence, literally tossed an already paralyzed little dog onto the ground, placed small stacks of books around the room with a penny on top, talked to people who were not present, tried to crawl out of an upstairs window, called a relative and told them that I'd just gotten off the phone with my father (who passed last year), screamed, bitten, spit, tried to head butt, pulled my clothes off, smacked my head repeatedly into a neighbor's house where a rescue crew found me under a bush eating leaves. I try to use humor but my family doesn't always laugh. And this is just the last couple of months. Thank God I haven't hurt a toddler but I can see something like that happening.

Very.....humbling.....to say the least. I never remember a single thing. It's gone. I wake up and have a headache and then fall back to sleep for hours while loved ones try to pick their hearts back up off the sidewalk and go on with life.

I've dealt with this for several years as my cerebellum has degenerated and our family knows that I can never be around children without much planning and supervision and only for a couple of minutes at a time. My behaviors are far too frightening and sudden. I have never held a grandchild without someone encircling my arms.

And this is me--mother of 14!! Miss pretty clothes and proper behavior. Advocate, board member, nice lady. Venerable and gracious matriarch. I wish!! I know what emails go flying. I know how many start with "Did you hear what Mommy did now?" and "Did you get a strange call?" and "Which search dogs worked the best, last time?" I wish you guys knew how often family and LE look at my last few posts on WS to see if there are clues as to what I've done or where I might be. Because my 35 year old insurance policy was summarily canceled, I can't afford a full time "watcher". I doubt if this man could either. My family just makes certain that I'm never alone with children.

Brains do strange things. They are frightening but awesome organs. I have to say that I tend to agree with what this man is saying. I've done a lot of research on seizures and sleep disorders and most would be shocked as to how wide-reaching the symptoms and triggers can be. Most know that flashing lights and certain sleep cycles can produce seizures but did you know that reading, doing math, chewing, certain sounds and music can cause seizures and strange behaviors? People have been documented doing just about everything while totally dead asleep. I'm reading the book, "Seized: Temporal Lobe Epilepsy as a Medical, Historical, and Artistic Phenomenon" by Eve LaPlante, right now and it is fascinating. Oliver Sacks' books are also eye-openers for those unaware of the vagaries of the brain.

I feel heartbroken for the 4 year old child but also for the father. However, I have to admit that there's some validation in this story for me personally concerning brain disorders. I'm not the only one.

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gogrannypop said:

If that were my daughter the loser wouldn't be walking free for long. He wouldn't be walking at all. Unbelievable.

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Missizzy said:

Many four year olds do, indeed, sleep with a parent. I'm stating a fact--not defending the practice. Our adult kids (even the single parents) have all slept with their children well through toddlerhood. I happen to know that, in Oregon, family court judges prefer that children over 6 cease sleeping with their parents. Each situation is different.

And I pray to God that I would never harm a child. But I can't be certain. No, I've never acted out sexually but I know that people with Alzheimer's and certain seizure disorders can become very sexualized. I know that I sure as heck didn't used to slam my head into walls, spit, and eat leaves. It's very disturbing.

http://www.healthcentral.com/alzheimers/c/57548/31000/inappropriate

"Most commonly [ETA: in Alzheimer's patients], inappropriate sexual advances include lewd remarks, touching, or public masturbation. Sometimes inappropriate sexual behavior combines with aggression and this is obviously a much more serious problem that can be very difficult to manage..."

And in Sleep Sex--

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_sex

Not an easy disorder to read about, that's for sure. Note, the connection with epilepsy. IMO, most likely it's the temporal lobe that is affected.

"If rape has been committed, it can be psychologically and physically devastating to the individual. Some individuals have even claimed sleep sex as a defense during rape trials. Other consequences of sleep sex include feelings of depression, embarrassment and shame after the event."

Believe me, I can relate to this.


My point is that a damaged brain does things that we can't control. I agree with everyone that this is horrid and disgusting and changes for this child must be made immediately. None of us knows the full story as the court does.

Ask any EMT which patient they least like getting a call about. They almost always say someone in an altered state due to natural causes. They despise being forced to protect themselves from a perfect gentleman or sweet lady who's throwing punches in a diabetic seizure or trying to talk someone with dementia into getting out of the middle of the street or out of the bushes. They can recognize drunkenness from an altered state and they really don't like controlling or frightening people simply because they have a brain disorder.

Think for a moment if this is really any different than me having a seizure while holding an infant. I would throw or drop that infant with no thought that I was hurting a little one. I would have tremendous remorse and NEVER place myself in that position again.

The one place where I can't forgive this man is in that he knew he had this disorder and still placed the child in danger. My guess is, that just like I did, he hoped against hope that it wouldn't happen--that he would never harm his child. If he does this again, he needs to be in a supervised setting. If I go around and pick up babies and drop them, I need to be locked up.

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I'm trying to make the point that mental dysfunction (not mental illness) can and does occur.

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