2008.07.25 "I wish I'd been a better dad...", said George to Casey

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Francine

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Near the beginning of this jail visit to KC in 2008 http://www.wftv.com/video/18206653/, George says he wishes he'd been a better dad. Was he sincere in taking some responsibility? Should he have? How much of what happened with KC is nurture and how much is nature?

Do you think if he had been a "better dad" it would have made any difference (especially when considering that LA seems to function adequately)? Based on what you know about George so far do you think he was a poor parent? In what ways do you think George himself believes he should have been a better parent? If you think he was a poor parent, in what ways do you think he was (e.g. anger management, poor job history, etc.) and how should he have improved?


If there is a similar thread, could someone point me to it? I did several types of searches and could not find a thread directly related only to George's parenting skills.
 
I do believe he made some mistakes -- we're all human. Like the on line gambling that put the family into debt. He admitted that in one of the interviews I believe. And letting Cindy make life decisions for him - like quitting his job as an officer to work in a car lot (don't hold me to that...it's late).

What I see (IMHO) is he was an enable. CA got away with everything! The only time I remember him confronting her was with the gas cans, and filing the police report when the shed was broken into. But he could have been more aware when it came to her job and the nanny.

Just my thoughts.

Mel
 
I think he is basically a pretty weak guy, and probably an ineffective parent, also selfish and focused on himself. George is a guy in my opinion who is yet to reach maturity, he is like a teenager refusing to grow up, refusing to become a responsible adult, and allowing himself to be bossed around and then acting out passive aggressively in order to feel like a 'man' again. So no, not a great dad, and pretty poor example.

However on the nature vs nurture thing, I think Casey was born with psychopathic tendencies and I absolutely don't think that upbringing can really help. I also believe that society in general plays a large role in what kind of form the psychopathy will take, so their social class may have played a large roll also, which was to some extent dictated by the parents ability to prosper etc...

IMO psychopathy is partly just bad genetic luck, here's some backup from a description of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)

http://www.outofthefog.net/Disorders/ASPD.html

'Because of their destructive behaviors, people with ASPD can be viewed judgmentally by others and with little sympathy. Their families - and in particular their parents can come under criticism and are often blamed for poor upbringing or a lack of morality. Such simplistic criticism is often the result of an ignorance of the mental disorder ASPD.'

...and here's an article which supports the idea that a dysfunctional family environment can have an impact

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/what-causes-antisocial-personality-disorder/

'Social and home environment also contributes to the development of antisocial behavior. Parents of troubled children frequently show a high level of antisocial behavior themselves. In one large study, the parents of delinquent boys were more often alcoholic or criminal, and their homes were frequently disrupted by divorce, separation or the absence of a parent.'

These two ideas seem to contradict each other...which is confusing really...here's a doco I found fascinating on the subject; http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/psychopath/
 
Though NG wasn't referring to GA it fits here!
"If you allow yourself to be manipulated-you're not manipulated"!!:snooty:
(I can't believe I'm using NG as a source of wisdom!:crazy:)
His giving in to CA and not being "a better father" was an excuse for being lazy and not asserting himself!! IMO
I still wonder how he sleeps at night and looks at himself in the mirror!:waitasec:
 
You know what tho....Casey might have been a bit of a psychological lost cause by the time she had become an adult, and I absolutely believe that George and Cindy failed miserably in their inability to deal with the truth of Casey, and therefore take steps to protect Caylee. That in my opinion is the GRAND FAILURE. Their denial meant that they left their precious grandchild under the supervision of a person who couldn't be trusted on any level. Those creepy videos of Caylee where she is being silently filmed paint an extremely disturbing aspect of Caylee's short life. They must have known that things weren't 'right'.

Somewhere along the line they decided they just couldn't 'do' anything about Casey, but they could have done something to minimise the damage, which they didn't do, or if they tried, they tried in the wrong way. Cindy as a nurse, and George as ex LE should known how to pull resources from outside the family to help them. Perhaps their pride stopped them, perhaps it was just that they underestimated the danger. But they knew, they knew about the theft, they knew about the pathological lying, and they knew Casey was sociopathic.
 
We have heard this lament or something similar by every single person that has had to endure some sort of tragedy, its human nature. Heck, I am going thru a major illness and I am doing the 'if only...maybe I wouldn't have to go thru this'. Hindsight is always and will always be 20/20.

The situation with George is that he had little if any control over his life after he hooked up with Cindy. If he could turn back time, the best thing he could have done is asked someone else out and let some other schmuck date CA.
 
My very best wishes to you, Openmyeyes, I hope you make a full recovery.
 
I too listened to these recordings again yesterday. It has always been my belief his statement reflects that he is simply expressing some guilt, perhaps to make KC feel comfortable enough to show some too.
It's clear from the way they are handling their conversation with KC and suggesting all kinds of routes for her to "reach-out" to different people (aka confess) they know she is guilty.
 
You know what tho....Casey might have been a bit of a psychological lost cause by the time she had become an adult, and I absolutely believe that George and Cindy failed miserably in their inability to deal with the truth of Casey, and therefore take steps to protect Caylee. That in my opinion is the GRAND FAILURE. Their denial meant that they left their precious grandchild under the supervision of a person who couldn't be trusted on any level. Those creepy videos of Caylee where she is being silently filmed paint an extremely disturbing aspect of Caylee's short life. They must have known that things weren't 'right'.

Somewhere along the line they decided they just couldn't 'do' anything about Casey, but they could have done something to minimise the damage, which they didn't do, or if they tried, they tried in the wrong way. Cindy as a nurse, and George as ex LE should known how to pull resources from outside the family to help them. Perhaps their pride stopped them, perhaps it was just that they underestimated the danger. But they knew, they knew about the theft, they knew about the pathological lying, and they knew Casey was sociopathic.

You've said it better than I could and I absolutely agree.

Looking at what ICA has done for all of her young years - I think she was far beyond "parental controls" at any age.

What percentage of juvenile delinquents who have horrendous backgrounds - who are truly abused and horribly neglected, turn out to be killers. Somehow I think ICA with her wasp middle class background doesn't make that statistic grade.
 
I feel that in saying this, George was indirectly putting some blame for something on Casey.... or at least recognizing that it was her doing.. but that she was not completely responsible.

I think that is more than what Cindy would ever say.
 
I too listened to these recordings again yesterday. It has always been my belief his statement reflects that he is simply expressing some guilt, perhaps to make KC feel comfortable enough to show some too.
It's clear from the way they are handling their conversation with KC and suggesting all kinds of routes for her to "reach-out" to different people (aka confess) they know she is guilty.

ITA...I too think GA was playing or trying to play on ICA's emotions, trying desperately to get her to confess and tell what she did to/with Caylee. I feel once he got the pontiac with that awful smell eminating, he knew it was possibly ICA, Caylee or both who were dead! Once ICA was found and was tight lipped about Caylee, he probably feared the worst.

I feel once he told ICA how he should have been a better father/grandfather, her response was to say, he was a good dad and the best grandfather Caylee would want, paraphrased. In all likelyhood, he was aware of ICA's capabilities for he knew she pushed the limits...he knew she was jealous of the relationship Caylee had for CA and GA (but GA wasn't the one in competiton for Caylee's love, IMO), knew it bothered ICA enough when Caylee was handed over to grandma when she was first born. I do believe he was most honest with LE giving the true character of ICA where CA sugar coated it all. His fears came true on December 11, 2008....and reinforced by December 19, 2008 when Dr. G positiviely ID's the remains as Caylee...such a tragic situation but one they overlooked, once too often. IMO, it was there for years and they choose to turn a blind eye and deaf ear and Caylee paid the ultimate price...It also seems this is the way the A's deal with things, Ignore it, don't speak of it and it will eventually go away...JMHO


Justice for Caylee
 
I think that George meant if he had followed his instincts about Casey he could have possibly prevented this tragedy. He could have kept her out of trouble by calling her out and having her face consequences early on. Cindy actually kept him from doing that and I think he is sorry he let her do that. This is just my take on it....
 
Methinks those words will come back to bite him in the arse.
 
I too wish he had been a better father, but I think his fate was sealed back with his choice of a wife.
 
If they weren't seeking the death penalty in this case I think her parents would be more forthcoming about the truth. It is not an accident that Caylee was found by her grandpagents house. My opinion is that KC overdose Caylee by accident because she wanted to go out to party. She probably left her in the car sleeping and she died. Then she tried to make it look like an abduction. The woman is clearly guilty.
 
If they weren't seeking the death penalty in this case I think her parents would be more forthcoming about the truth. It is not an accident that Caylee was found by her grandpagents house. My opinion is that KC overdose Caylee by accident because she wanted to go out to party. She probably left her in the car sleeping and she died. Then she tried to make it look like an abduction. The woman is clearly guilty.

That's a nice thought, but the DP was not on the table for a long period of time, and that's actually when the Anthonys lied the most.

They don't strike me as people who need a reason to lie, they just do so by natural habit.

Hmmm, where have we heard that before? ;)
 
I think most parents wish they could have done it better, so I don't take that statement as anything incriminating. I know I wasn't a perfect parent. I also believe that he may have been trying to give Casey a way out, so that she would confess to her crime.
 
I think most parents wish they could have done it better, so I don't take that statement as anything incriminating. I know I wasn't a perfect parent. I also believe that he may have been trying to give Casey a way out, so that she would confess to her crime.

Agree Searchfortruth, and you may know the saying - you may truly forgive your parents no matter what your background when you understand they were doing the best job they knew how and were capable of doing. (given their own stuff)
 
MY biggest issue with George is that he stayed and let his children stay in the home with "that woman". But I think George is just as ill equipt as the rest of the family in dealing with and accepting their own reality. I think he is a weak, sad and very emotionally stunted and lonely man. I think his fear of losing his wife (and all that that would entail) has ruled him for many many years. I will go deeper than that (of course lol)- I believe he grew up much like Casey did and probably had a fear of losing his mother too.. not to death or whatever but her not loving or accepting him.. just like Casey and her mother so he knows nothing else. I know people think that because we *know* better we should *do* better but in the real world it just doesn't work like that. you know nothing else , you know that what you know is not normal, but after a childhood of abnormal- keeping yourself from being that (your normal) abnormal is so abnormal it's very easy to run from .. to cling to what you do know-no matter how unhealthy.

I understand why he stayed but I just wish he had not and I wish he had RUN with his kids after about the third time his wife made him feel just like his mother used to.. treated him just like his mother treated her husband. Because this is what I honestly believe.. I think he grew up with a mother just like Cindy- I can't get as angry at him as I do with Cindy but IMO they both did just as much damage George's probably being the worst and i think that is what George meant when he said "I should have been a better father".

~whew~ does any of that even make sense?! lol sorry, it's all jmo! :)
 
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