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  1. #1
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    FL - Dwayne & Pamela Hardy for child abuse, Seminole County, 2010

    http://www.wesh.com/r/24615815/detail.html

    Poor kids, home was bad enough to be removed and THIS is where they landed, out of the frying pan into the fire.

    snipped from above linked article

    A report from the Seminole County Sheriff's Office said the little girl was spanked until she started to bleed.

    According to the report, the boy told investigators, "If his 'butt' starts to bleed from being paddled, his mom would scrape the blood off his leg with the paddle, put it back on his butt, and continue to spank him."

    According to an incident report, the boy said he had been caught sneaking food, and the consequences of that would be a few days without eating.

    DCF said the siblings had been placed in the Hardy's home as a foster family last fall. To officially adopt them in February, the couple had to pass a background check and home inspection.

    The state looked into their references, financial records and even the stability of their marriage. Officials said it's an extensive process turned up no red flags.
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  2. #2
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    Sadists.
    email me


    Long Lost Love: The Bob Harrod Story Disappeared/ID Network
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    “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
    ― Maya Angelou

  3. #3
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    just so sad for these kids. As if life hadn't thrown enough at them to need seperated from their families but to then find themselves with these freaks. My heart just breaks for them. How will these kids ever be able to respect authorities or trust anyone again?! These kids have been let down again and again.
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  4. #4
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    I am really curious to know who the anonymous tip came from. It s sounds as if the Hardy's had the rest of the community completely hoodwinked as to their true nature. I wish I could hug whoever that anonymous tipster is. I wonder if it was actually one of the kids.
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  5. #5
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    How can you beat a child until they bleed and then keep beating them? What kind of monster does that take? Why did they adopt these children? Why adopt children and then abuse them? These poor kids have never caught a break. My heart hurts for them. They need to start doing follow-ups on adoptions. Once the adoption goes through, they never check on them. This is so disturbing.

  6. #6
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    Totally unacceptable. Any fost/adopt parent goes through extensive training on alternative discipline methods and has access to behavior therapists. Families must also sign a contract that they will NEVER use corporal punishment with a foster child. One also may not use isolation, humiliation, emotional battering, cold showers, or the withholding of food. There is no flicking, pinching, thunking, or yelling.

    This couple would have had that training and agreed to these parameters--admittedly tough to follow for the most challenging kids. But necessary to assure children's safety. Sadly, they did not ask for help with their children's behavior. If it wasn't readily available, DHS must address this critical issue.

    I'm very sad that these little ones endured even more abuse. I pray that their next parents will be loving and supportive.

    If you've read my posts for long, you'll know that I have very strong opinions of the issue of food for any child in an out of home placement. IMO, far more training and support needs to be given to this flashpoint. I am not defending these people's horrid crimes but I know from experience how food can incite passion and violence. Adoptive and/or foster parents can feel that they are doing all they can for a challenging child with strange acting out behaviors. They can serve well-balanced meals and offer healthy snacks. When they catch a child sneaking food it can set off a cascade of emotions. It's usually not a cookie or a banana, either, but a pound of peanut butter, a whole loaf of bread, or a case of cookies. Often the parent is then left to deal with a sick child who has no idea why they just ate to the point of vomiting. Parents can feel great remorse even as they become rageful at the child. They take the child's behavior personally and see it as ungratefulness. The reality is that no child is grateful and no parent should ever expect a child to experience or falsely exhibit that emotion.

    I can't say that I've been pushed over the edge but I've seen that edge a few times--when, after a delicious dinner, I watched a son bury two large bags of bagels in our backyard (for later) or when another son ate an entire birthday cake belonging to someone else while we took photos on the front porch.

    Food is love is food. When that part of the brain acts out due to early trauma, bad things can happen. My prayer is that these children are placed with far calmer and more experienced parents who grasp the boundaries of discipline and guidance.

  7. #7
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    Why do people become foster parents just to become abusive parents??? What the h*ll is wrong with people???
    "I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life."
    Rest in peace, Ethan Stacy and Aja Johnson.

  8. #8
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    These people wanted these kids. My concern is, for what? I want to know if they were experienced fosters or if fostering these particualr kids was their first foster placement. I want to know why go to the next step of adopting them only to treat them thus? Were they new to foster/adoptive parent scene? Did they bite off more than they could chew (no excuse) and find out they weren't cut out for this?

    They obviously knew it was wrong else they would have displayed this behavior in front of friends, neighbors and others in the community. They did not, telling me they knew full well their abuse was just that - abuse.

    I just don't get it. Why take some already abused, possibly emotionally screwed up kids and do this to them?? What was going on with these people? DId they have natural children in the home as well? If so were those children subjected to the same treatment? If they had previous foster children was this their technique with them as well? Frightening.
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  9. #9
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    Belinda, I respectfully but whole-heartedly disagree. Once an adoption is final, the child and parent relationship is EXACTLY the same legally as that of a biological child. There is no oversight allowed by law other than what is permitted for any child through the regular channels. To offer any less is disrespectful of the adoptive family. The Child Welfare Act of 1980 set out the federal mandate that children placed in their adopted homes would cease to be under the purview of the state.

    What we DO need, however, is better training and vetting of foster and adoptive families. We need workers to stop overestimating parents' abilities and to stop straining the families taking the toughest kids. Because our social service system is broken and is bending under the pressure of too many children and not enough parents, families are often offered children which are a poor fit for their level of experience. This is a recipe for disaster. It's like sending a wild and rowdy Rottweiler to a frail elder for a pet. Something bad is bound to happen, whether there was initial malice or not.

    If anyone wants to know what they can do to help or if you are interested in the issues on the foster care and adoption front, please check the website of the organization I dedicated 20 years of my life to, The North Amercian Council on Adoptable Children.

    www.nacac.org

    There are nearly 400,000 children waiting for permanency in the US. Foster and adoptive families need pertinent and readily available training. More and more training videos or live-feeds are available on the web and that is great. We also need 24 hour help lines for difficult behaviors, safe and timely respite, appropriate funding and emotional support.

    Many people, even seasoned biological parents honestly have no earthly idea concerning the outrageous behaviors which are common in the traumatized child. Abandonment, fear, past abuse and neglect create life long negative and harmful behaviors that require parents with incredibly strong support systems, creativity, and a good deal of good humor. The crimes we typically see in foster and adoptive families are often the result of parents being overwhelmed and failing to seek help IMO. I feel that very few people actually set out to adopt children to traumatize and abuse them. Most start out with wonderful intentions and the situation worsens and implodes.

    Parenting a fostered or adopted child is one of the most rewarding avocations in the world but it will bring you to your knees. Then you have to get up the next morning and do it all over again.

  10. #10
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    Thank you button is not enought Missizzy. I know the patience and love it takes to do justice by a foster child. I have a great deal of respect for you and others like you.
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  11. #11
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    I'm not advocating continuous oversight, but a check-in at some specific point post-adoption to ensure the safety of the children. I wonder how long they fostered these children before adoption? Was none of the abuse pre-adoption? I find that hard to believe. To me, there was clearly a failure at some point in time. These post-adoption nightmares happen too often, so I feel some sort of check is in order.

  12. #12
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    The article also wasn't very specific. Was the boy sneaking food because he was starving or because he has food issues? Either way, how can the response be to not allow the child to eat for 3 days? We don't really know what, if any, behavioral issues may have exacerbated this situation. Nonetheless, the parents are serious abusers.

  13. #13
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    Belinda--ITA. On a certain level it makes sense and I know where your heart is. But consider for a minute how biological families--even ones with a risk factor ie illness, divorce, a death, an arrest, poverty, a new marriage, etc--would feel about a "check in". There would me massive gnashing of teeth. An adoption is a legally binding agreement and the child and parent have the the same rights as biological families. A great idea on the surface and one that has been looked at occasionally by legislators but it simply is not legal.

    According to studies, adoptive families have a lower tendancy to abuse when all the facts are looked at. You must remember that there's great sensationalism in reporting child abuse (as there should be) but other studies have shown that adoptive and foster families are far more likely to have their abuse reports followed by the media. The irony is that these families are also far more likely to be parenting challenging children. Think about what would happen if I abused a child. All hell would break loose!! I have a pretty stellar reputation but I imagine I'd find myself on the front page of the newspaper.

    I am not defending criminal actions nor abuse AT ALL. There is no excuse for abuse. I'm just putting out there my response to an oft debated subject. This is one of those slippery slopes which is similar to curtailing the child bearing rights of those who have offended or who have disabilities. Sounds like a great idea at first blush but follow it through and really examine the implications. We must follow the law and respect the rights and entitlements set forth.

    If I can answer specific questions concerning the general "whys", I would be happy to. Obviously, I can't know what went on in this specific family but I've worked with foster and adoptive families parenting both healthy and tremendously challenged children for over two decades. I've conducted 100s of hours in training families, prospective social workers and CASAs as to the management and modification of challenging and frightening behaviors and written extensively on these issues.

    Even with my disability, I still am a supportive contact for over 100 families. Plus, my husband and I raised 13 children (10 adopted) to adulthood and currently foster a daughter. I certainly have observations on these issues and might be able to shed some light on the inner workings of the adoptive or foster family. I would welcome educating any of you on these perplexing questions. Trust me, no question is too strange or offensive.

  14. #14
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    From listening to the interview it became apparent that there was another child in the home and that child was not subjected to abuse. It would be interesting to determine if that child was a bio child or another foster child.
    Just My Opinion

  15. #15
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    The children have been placed back with their original foster family.
    http://www.wesh.com/r/24615815/detail.html

    I hope that is a good move, but at least it does show that the state is acknowledging their need for as much stability as possible right now.

    A Seminole County couple is accused of withholding food to the point where a child was eating from a trash can.
    and
    But authorities said instead the children, ages 6 and 9, were locked in their rooms and not allowed to eat. If they were caught sneaking food from the garbage, they were paddled with wooden spoons or a belt.
    Also
    The younger child is also adopted and has been removed per this article
    http://www.cfnews13.com/article/news...ating-children

    Some questions answered right there, in my opinion.
    JMO. Unless there's a link, I can't prove it.

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