03-29-2011, 09:16 PM #1
NM - RIO ARRIBA COUNTY- 13 yr old rapes 7 yr old-claims bullying made him
I'm angry at their wording!!
"...said a 13-year-old boy from the Espanola area is facing charges for inappropriately touching and having sex with a 7-year-old girl in his family."
It's not sex IT"S RAPE!!!
""This case is all about bullying, and because of the bullying, now we have two victims," Sheriff Thomas Rodella said."
TWO VICTIMS???????? I think NOT! There is 1 victim and she's a baby at 7 yrs old!!!!
03-29-2011, 09:52 PM #2
There may be something that the sheriff knows that we don't. Bullying isn't just words and threats, it often becomes physical. For that reason, I will withhold judgement for a little while. Not that it makes it right for this boy to put his own safety above that of a 7 year old girl, but I just need a little more before I pick up my pitchfork.JMO. Unless there's a link, I can't prove it.
03-29-2011, 10:09 PM #3
I see your point, but i'm still steamed.
He's a teenager. So he was getting teased for being a virgin... he's not the first nor the last young man OR WOMAN to be teased for being a virgin.. usually it happens at an older age.... but he's still not the first. Not all kids teased for being virgins rape a 7 yr old child in their family ya know..
03-29-2011, 11:25 PM #4Registered User
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
I don't understand the police either.
Certainly, there have been cases of 13 year old being charged as adults. So for police to say this 13 is a victim doesn't make much sense to me at all.
03-29-2011, 11:59 PM #5
I just don't see how raping a 7 year old was his only "option"...
Bless her heart.
I don't care who tells you to do what, or makes fun of you for whatever, at whatever age, you DO NOT RAPE YOUR FAMILY MEMBER!“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”~Oscar Wilde
03-30-2011, 01:44 AM #6Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
This particular subject is very very tough for me as one of our children was bullied/threatened into touching his sister inappropriately during our children's rapes. When the rape disclosures (he was the one that first told) were made this son immediately disclosed what he had done and the decision was made not to bring charges. This son had been raped himself by the rapist and had been threatened with a gun and with the claim that if he told, the rapist would come into our home during the night and rape and kill me and our oldest two daughters. He'd also sexually abused a live bird in front of our son to show him what would happen if he spoke up. The sexual abuse involved a power drill.
It was heartbreaking as the sister he touched is intellectually and physically disabled. The son who did the touching is also developmentally disabled. Several of the other children observed that particular touching incident and related that the rapist orchestrated it and laughed about it. Even after the trial and all the convictions, our son spent years with tremendous guilt over what he had done and apologized to his sister over and over. To this day, I believe that the coerced touching was the catalyst which caused the disclosures to come when they did.
Our son and daughter are adults now and I doubt (it's hard to know) if our daughter remembers the incident. All this said, it was an extremely painful part of the disclosures. The detectives we worked with explained that actually it is quite common as it was clear that the rapist was attempting to use coercion to silence our son. By coercing or bullying him into touching his sister, the rapist could use that as leverage for silence. It didn't work and I was extremely proud of our son that he confessed....but still confused and terribly saddened.
I would have to agree with NMKs, we need more information. The boy could be using excuses or he could truly be a victim himself.
And Peeples, ITA about the wording. It infuriates me too. I often send reporters a short note reminding them that children cannot consent to "have sex" or to have a "sexual relationship". The editor should have caught that.
03-30-2011, 08:34 AM #7
There is a big difference between an adult bullying and coercing and grooming a child and peers bullying and coercing a teenager though.
03-30-2011, 10:37 AM #8
03-30-2011, 10:39 AM #9
Old enough to know what he was doing was wrong? Yes.
Young enough to be manipulated by his peers ? Yes.
Without knowing the child personally, And this is MHOO he is just 13. That is still classified as a child. Now - I could sit here and babble on and on in his defense, but i agree whole heartdly, he's done the wrong thing. I'm going to assume he knows it.
There are two victims here.
A 7 year old child and a 13 year old child - whose now labelled 'rapist'.
It's not unusual for kids at that age to be enquiring about sex, obviously he's been influnced by a group of kids who are shooting off their mouths, or perhaps are victims themselves. Personally, i've known victims that come from 'Good' Families that have had the same thing happen just based on what they heard from their freinds. IMHO i personally don't condone it but it does happen.
These days it can just be ' i saw it on tv and wanted to try it ' then they play out what they see, what they hear.
Reality is - 13 year olds WANT to be liked, it's a NEED for them. Peer prussure is very real and should be taken into account. He did choose the wrong and will suffer the consequences.
So before i get flamed please just note that i am being completely objective.
They are both victims.
Also just wanted to add - It's possible he may not even know about rape or what it is. He is merely 13. Also think people are a little more inclined to jump the gun because he's a teen. At this stage there just really isn't enough to paint a clear enough picture. Just throwing it out there.
06-24-2011, 03:43 PM #10
Missizzy, My heart breaks for you and your family and the monumental pain you have walked through. Thank you for taking the step and sharing with everyone the hell you have journeyed through as a family because of a monster out there. I know the sharing does not come easy. I also know, as a survivor of so very much that in sharing we have the chance to help another out there who may be feeling alone and we also heal ourselves a little bit more each time.
My prayers and love to you and your family along with gentle hugs,
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