I often wonder how Casey and Lee, being the only two children of G&C, turned out so differently. It seems Lee had a job right out of highschool, did well in that job, maybe went on to another career, and is doing well there. He seems more focused, more mature, maybe happier than Casey. He moved out at a respectful age, got a place of his own (apartment, or shared a house with others, I can't recall which) and has a good relationship with his girlfriend. One would expect the second sibling to follow closlely in the older one's steps. Yes, some do and some don't. Some younger siblings exceed what their older brother/sister did. But it seems something feel apart in Casey's life. Was Lee held to higher standards than Casey ? Was Casey spoiled rotten, and Lee wasn't ? Did one parent have more of a hand in raising Lee, and the other parent raised Casey ?
I realize Lee may have done some covering up for Casey, but in the long run, it seems his life has always been on the right track.
Primarily a boy and girl thing, to me. There is usually a different dynamic. In KC, CA identifies with herself.
Lee's personality is different, too. Note that as soon as he was legally able, he left the house and went out on his own. That may or not be telling-IIRC, he lived in a house on the grounds of a storage unit where he worked after high school-Good for him for working his butt off, it has paid off in what I see as an awesome and fun career.
When KC failed to launch, that changed a lot of things as well. I don't think you would see nearly the domineering behavior in CA that you see now if KC had gone off to college or to a career. KC herself would have developed the self-awareness and independence required to be able to tell CA to back off and let her live her own life, without fear that CA would take away the money and the living arrangements.
There's not much that I can see that CA can hold over Lee's head. Not that I blame CA entirely-when someone needs money from you consistently, they sort of give up the ability to tell you to mind your own business.
ETA-KC made a concious choice to use Caylee's birth as a reason to be a bum. I had my daughter at the age KC had Caylee, and I chose not to be a bum. So to me, it's on KC.
Personally I think alot of it had to do with the way that Cindy herself was raised. Cindy was the only girl and was treated like the princess. When Casey came along, being the only girl, Cindy may have raised her in the same sort of fashion. I do believe that Cindy went to the extremes with Casey though. I highly doubt that Grandma Shirley would have allowed the same behavior from Cindy that Casey was allowed to get away with. George apparently did try to enforce some rules with Casey but it is difficult to do that when the other parent is so against it and fights you tooth and nail all the way. Casey is definately the product of her environment and her parents have no one to blame but themselves.
Any 2 children, even siblings, really do grow up in different families. Yes, the players are the same, but they are different to the child. Mom is still mom, but as a player she is mom to me, the baby, and mom to older sib, the big boy. same with dad. Big brother little sister dynamic as well. Often, the oldest and 2nd compete for success, and when one stakes his claim, the other backs down. Although if you look at birth order, it is usually 2nd child, girl, who is responsible, academic, achiever, etc... so this family does not fit the mold.
As the mother of six..still raising three of them (for two more weeks till one goes off to the Marines) I can testify they are all so very different...you can never expect the same out of any of them.
Some may indeed be environmental, meaning having two of different sex, may have some early influence on them...but minimal really in early childhood.
My kids are spread out in groups of two... you take any group of two and they are pretty much polar opposite each other in may ways. They were raised the same way by the same folks, the only thing that has changed is technology.
Last edited by nitasch; 05-24-2011 at 12:11 AM. Reason: typos
Dr. G serving CM the "cause" of death of his defense on a silver platter!
**Snarky comment about not having enough posts to be posting previously typed here**
Kids can be raised identically and turn out different. I know all 4 of mine were all given the same instruction in life, the same opportunities, the same love, the same support. And they are all vastly different!
The key word between Lee and Casey seems to be work. He was more normal and willing to work and be on his own where his parents weren't forced to be involved. Casey wasn't willing to work and is not normal. She had a child then still wouldn't work or even go to school, so that forced her parents to stay in her life. When perhaps Cindy allowed her to be a stay at home mom for awhile without telling George she still couldn't do her part and be greatful for help and a nice home plus a vehicle. They seem quite a bit alike in other ways, such as the way they talk and drinking alcohol socially. We don't know enough about their childhood and teen years to be able to really say.
The old nature / nurture debate ... Lee is not a psychopath, Casey is. She may have also been spoilt as the only girl, the youngest, and the prettiest sibling.
Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it, except for revisionist historians, who just write a new one and carry on as before.
Also, things that 'hold us back' when we are teens may become our strengths. Casey was very social and outgoing as a teen, whereas Lee apparently had very bad acne at that time. So he probably was more self conscious, had more time for work and school. That paid off for him in the end.
And newborns are born with their own personalities. Parents can treat two kids the same way in general, and get very different reactions. Time outs worked great with our son. Our daughter looked at us increduously, wondering what we were thinking. lol
“Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn
OK Casey was the only girl...Lee was the only boy.. He should have been just as special for being the elder male, just as she was the youngest female. WHY was Casey treated so so special ? She got away with a lot.
Yes, I realize that different children turn out differently. But, imo, I do not think they were raised with the same set of expectations. I have 2 children, who are more than 5 years apart. I try to be fair to both, they get and are denied most of the same things. My younger one is neater, the older one is more serious, the younger one is atheletic, the older one is studious. However, they are both expected to do chores, respect us, do well in school. They do have different personalities, but we want them to grow up to be responsible, caring adults. .
As well as nature & nuture each child has varying needs as well as unique way of perceiving. That's why sometimes you can talk to siblings and they share very different views of their upbringing. With ICA, I would say there was a nature about her to begin with, maybe gentics too? that within that family unit contributed to and expanded that negative aspect. jmo Lee truly acts like a firstborn imo You have to wonder what circumstances would have needed to be exist so that ICA turned out differently (if any?)
I think the biggest thing between them is that Casey got pregnant. She may have also been more of a partier than Lee too.
IMO they were raised the same. Lee followed the rules ICA DIDN'T ...
Lee respected his mother. ICA DIDN'T
moo it's that simple.
Good question-how do kids raised in the same house turn out so differently? I think that's more to the actual heart of the question. Even though Lee and Casey were raised in the same house, they weren't raised in the same "way." Each are unique inviduals and had unique experiences which contributed to how they turned out. Being individuals, their parents responded differently to them.
My brother and I were raised together, but we turned out to be very different people. This is all just my opinion and speculation, but I think it's impossible to raise kids the same way. Based on who they are, different expecations and personalities exist. I think Casey is a sociopath and/or narcississtic person and the Anthony's probably did the best they could with her. I'll bet she could make their lives a living hell, just as she is right now. Lee was probably more of a typical person and "easier" to raise.
Lee seems like a good kid....I do feel sorry for him. I am not sure if they were raising all that different. I am thinking that ICA has some mental problems. She does not seem normal to me. As in bio chemical problems that were never diagnosed.
I have known spoiled kids and they dont go THIS far....as GA said: Casey takes things to the top as in: she overdoes it.
BOY WAS HE RIGHT. Im sure he loves her but realises she isn't right.
Is Lee there for the opening statements? jus wonderin
I have two children who are only 12 months apart. They were together every minute since the youngest ones birth. They have always been and still are like night and day. I think people are born a certain way and enviroment and parental upbringing isn't a reason to blame the way they are on.