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  1. #1
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    CA - Stockton-Police Asking For Help Identifying Abandoned Child

    http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2011/...andoned-child/

    was abandoned at an area hospital on January 6.

    Police believe the girl is between two and three years old. She’s two feet six inches tall with Black hair and Brown eyes. She weighs 25 pounds.

  2. #2
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    what a beautiful little girl. So we don't even know what her real first name is? Aw poor little punkin. How confusing for her. I hope they find out who here parents are so at least we know what happened and why she was simply left there. Not that I am saying a reunion is needed. She may very well be better off where she is if someone could just walk away and abandon her there. But this little girl deserves answers and I am sure someday she will want them.

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  3. #3
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    LadyL is offline Sleuthing for Lonzie Barton & All Victims.
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    she's so pretty (-;

    there are comments under that article from people who claim to be extended (foster) family who do not want the birth parents found because they want to raise her

  4. #4
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    She is a lovely little girl. Thank goodness she has bonded with her foster family. Stockton is right on the I-5 corridor and she could be the child of a prostitute who was forced to leave her at a safe place. It wouldn't be the first time. That's so sad. The fact that she's bonding and doing well tells me that she had reasonably good care before she was abandoned.

    As sad as it might be, the state is federally mandated to attempt to find her birth family. Who knows, she might have grandparents or other relatives who have no idea she's missing. The parent/s could be lying to family and saying that she's fine, if they live in another state. If no family members are found, most likely she would be left with her current family, as that's called concurrent planning--foster families who are willing to adopt.

    Even if a birth relative is located, it would be very wise to maintain contact with her foster family. Several of our kids still have connections with prior foster parents and it has enriched their lives.

    However, I hate to see friends and extended foster family members bring this issue to the public via comments. That never bodes well with DHS. It's always best to be very private in your communications about a child. The media is not a place to debate custody, IME. Those commenters can certainly write respectful letters to the case manager and/or judge, though.

    ITA that the child deserves her own "story". We all do.

  5. #5
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    ty Missizzy , for your insights, I agree, a comment section under a media article is not the place for this issue to be aired. I totally get their wish to convey her foster family's love for this lovely little girl, but it is not the forum to be heard in. The only forum that counts is the court system.

    If this little sweety's parents are found, then will be the time to go before the court, and anything prior to that is premature and not appropriate.

    I hope this little girl knows that she is loved. By someone or someones, even if they are not biologically linked to her. I hope she grows up in a loving and caring home, if the foster one, then so be it. I do still hope that le can determine what happened and why.

    I strongly feel that this little cutie pie will have question when she is older. She deserves the truth, no matter what that truth is. A future can be built upon the truth. Much harder to build one upon shifting sand of maybes and what ifs.

    God Bless sweet child. God bless.

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  6. #6
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    Poor little baby girl. They should just let her be if she's thriving with her foster family. Whoever abandoned her doesn't deserve to have her. She can create her own story.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlcox View Post
    ty Missizzy , for your insights, I agree, a comment section under a media article is not the place for this issue to be aired. I totally get their wish to convey her foster family's love for this lovely little girl, but it is not the forum to be heard in. The only forum that counts is the court system.

    If this little sweety's parents are found, then will be the time to go before the court, and anything prior to that is premature and not appropriate.

    I hope this little girl knows that she is loved. By someone or someones, even if they are not biologically linked to her. I hope she grows up in a loving and caring home, if the foster one, then so be it. I do still hope that le can determine what happened and why.

    I strongly feel that this little cutie pie will have question when she is older. She deserves the truth, no matter what that truth is. A future can be built upon the truth. Much harder to build one upon shifting sand of maybes and what ifs.

    God Bless sweet child. God bless.
    Sadly, this baby's truth is that she was abandoned by her birth mother/parents. It may suck, but it is the truth. If she is loved and cared for, she will be fine and can rise above it.

    Sometimes the truth really does hurt.

  8. #8
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    Unfortunately, I don't know that that will not be enough. I had a friend growing up. She was adopted by loving parents, she was afforded every advantage. She still suffered some serious issues wrapped in the "why" questions surrounding her childhood as she came into adulthood. I think, even the ugliest truth, is better than the unknowing. Of course, that is simply MOO, others will surely disagree. And that is okay by me. That is the beauty that I found here at WS. Some will completely disagree with my thoughts. I love them dearly even so.
    Last edited by tlcya; 05-26-2011 at 01:00 AM.

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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlcox View Post
    Unfortunately, I don't know that that will be enough. I had a friend growing up. She was adopted by loving parents, she was afforded every advantage. She still suffered some serious issues wrapped in the "why" questions surrounding her childhood as she came into adulthood. I think, even the ugliest truth, is better than the unknowing. Of course, that is simply MOO, others will surely disagree. And that is okay by me. That is the beauty that I found here at WS. Some will completely disagree with my thoughts. I love them dearly even so.
    You're so, right. But maybe she could just know that her mother or father knew they could not care for her properly and wanted her to have a better life than they could give her. That is my hope because, being here, we also know that there are much worse fates for babies who are not cherished as they should be.

    I also hope that those who are caring for her now will shower her with kisses and hugs and make sure she knows that it's not her fault she was abandoned. And that they will teach her how to love and value herself.

    If I had her here with me now, that's what I'd do. Bless her sweet, innocent heart.

  10. #10
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    Adoption is the primal wound. Adopting parents are often "over the moon" with their excitement. They have a child to love!! What is forgotten in the moment is that a child has been wounded, abandoned, given up, given away, left behind. Even if a child is placed into an adoptive parent's arms at the moment of birth, there is a deep loss. A child's experience does not begin at birth. It begins months earlier. That child was already connected to his/her birth mother due to the time spent in her womb. To negate or to ignore the birth mother and father's existence is pure folly. To sugar-coat the trauma does far more harm than good. If you lie to your child, they will learn not to trust you. This is why we use the term--the adoption "triad". There's the child, the birth parent and the adoptive parent. Each has a role to play. Each is vital.

    Many many stories of abandonment and relinquishment are brutal or heartbreaking. In fact, most are. Some sort of tragedy, break, death, or loss must occur before a child has a need of a new home. That loss must be recognized and grieved before anyone can move on. Children must be told from the day of birth about their history, in age appropriate ways. The story needs to simply and naturally unfold as the child ages and gains deeper understand and begins to ask questions.

    There's simply no other way to raise a healthy and well-adjusted adopted child, IMO. And I have been blessed with eleven. They each have their own stories. They are not happy stories but they are their stories all the same. It's my job as their mother to honor their histories and their realities and to move forward with them, loving them all the way.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missizzy View Post
    However, I hate to see friends and extended foster family members bring this issue to the public via comments. That never bodes well with DHS. It's always best to be very private in your communications about a child.
    Perhaps they made those statements in the hope the family of the girl will read it. If the girl was abandoned in order to "give her a better life" and the parent reads the child is wanted by the foster family she may not decide to come forward and reclaim.

    Interesting that the news report provided NO INFO on the woman who dropped her off. Stockton has a lot of agriculture which means plenty of "migrant workers", if her parents are migrants she may have very little or no family extended in the states.

  12. #12
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    This child is adorable. I know some of the involved parties, so at this time it would not be appropriate to comment about this case. I will say in general that I commend any parent that safely gives a child up. Too many times the answer is to harm the child. Thankfully this did not happen in this case. Also my deep appreciation goes to those good foster families that care for these children. It can bring both joy and heartbreak.

    Also in California the Safe Haven Law allows for surrendering a child at a hospital or fire station within 72 hours of birth.

  13. #13
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    I do have to commend the person who left her for at least doing so in a hospital. If she was to be abandoned at least it was there and not on a bus or a corner.

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  14. #14
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    LadyL is offline Sleuthing for Lonzie Barton & All Victims.
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    it doesn't make sense to me, though, to abandon a child at all - if someone doesn't feel they can raise their child for whatever reasons, why not put her up for adoption ... why not do it legally & properly so that she at least has a name, a medical history, a family history

    unless the bio(s) have something to hide and the risk to them outweighs the importance of their child

    I don't commend any parent who abandons their child - yes, it's the lesser of two evils if we think in terms of murdered children, but neither should be acceptable and tolerated by society IMO

    it conveys the message that children aren't valued enough to hold their parents responsible for bringing them into the world ... by responsibility I mean stepping up and stating they cannot care for their child for XYZ reasons and signing the appropriate papers

    I agree this sweet little girl deserves and needs her own story and she will never know it unless her bio(s) come forward and face the music

    now they will go on in their life and try to forget she existed but she will forever be yearning for them ... there is always a huge question mark hanging over the life of an adoptee, sometimes even after they have reunited with their birth parent(s) JMO

    ok, sorry to preach (the above obviously only applies if her parent(s) willingly abandoned her)

    another thing that I wonder about is what if, just what if ... her mother was murdered or accidently overdosed and someone else had half a heart and dropped the child off ...

    It just breaks my heart that this child got dropped off and NO ONE has claimed to know who she is



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