Kids Health - Dealing with Bullying

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Bullying: Help your child handle a school bully
If you suspect that your child is being bullied, take the situation seriously:
•Encourage your child to share his or her concerns. Remain calm, listen in a loving manner and support your child's feelings. Express understanding and concern. You might say, "I understand you're having a rough time. Let's work together to deal with this." Remind your child that he or she isn't to blame for being bullied.
•Learn as much as you can about the situation. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Ask if other children or adults have witnessed any bullying incidents. Find out what your child may have done to try to stop the bullying.
•Teach your child how to respond to the bullying. Don't promote retaliation or fighting back against a bully. Instead, encourage your child to maintain his or her composure. He or she might say, "I want you to stop now," and then simply walk away. Suggest sticking with a friend or group of friends while on the bus, in the cafeteria or wherever the bullying seems to happen. Remind your child that he or she can ask teachers or other school officials for help.
•Contact school officials. Talk to your child's teacher, the school counselor and the school principal. If your child has been physically attacked or otherwise threatened with harm, talk to school officials immediately to determine if the police should be involved. Don't contact the bully's parents yourself. You might also want to encourage school officials to address bullying — including cyberbullying — as part of the curriculum.
•Follow up. Keep in contact with school officials. If the bullying seems to continue, be persistent.
•Boost your child's self-confidence. Help your child get involved in activities that can raise self-esteem, such as sports, music or art. Encourage your child to build friendships and develop his or her social skills.
•Know when to seek professional help. Consider professional or school counseling for your child if his or her fear or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
If your child is being bullied, remember that early intervention can help prevent lasting problems — such as depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. Don't leave your child to handle it alone. Your child needs your support now more than ever.
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Coalition Children Understanding Bullying
Parents are naturally concerned that their children will be targeted by bullies. They wonder if their kids will tell them if there is a problem. They want to strike a balance between being overly protective or overly involved and allowing their children to solve their own social problems.

Odds are your children will have to address bullying behavior at some point in time. The National Association of School Psychologists reports that, at any given time, 25% of U.S . students are the targets of bullying and about 20% are engaged in bullying behavior.

The reach of bullying into the future is also long and damaging. Being bullied affects a child’s self-esteem, increases anxiety, and can cause sadness and depression. Bullies also pay a high price. As they grow up bullies are more likely to bully their partners and children, to exhibit aggressive behavior and to become engaged in delinquency and interpersonal violence.

But bullying does not need to be so pervasive. With concrete strategies and practice, families, schools and communities can teach children interpersonal skills that value and respect individual differences, how to prevent being bullied and how to intervene in bullying situations.
 
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