It's Getting Old

:sigh:

This forum is what you guys choose to make it. If y'all insist on the constant back & forth - arguing and baiting each over the same issues on thread after thread (who cares what the topic is? just infect every thread) - then that is what this forum will be .... a petty battleground. *yawn* Except there will be very few discussion threads open if y'all insist on infecting every thread with this crap.

I remember when it was filled with informative, thought provoking posts where posters were able to disagree with respect. It is sad to see people talk to each other without any respect. The not-so-subtle snark and pointed barbs are tiresome and tacky. I am sick of it people and it is going to stop.

I've not been able to be online as much lately but I am still very dedicated to this forum. New job, workload +, new town.... and though I don't post much lately, I check in several times a day. There was a time when posters valued and respected the integrity of this forum. Not sure what happened but I am asking for those of you who remember those times to please try to do your part to make it that way again. If for no other reason, out of respect for the forum where you've held vigil for the past 3+ years.

Sometimes "doing your part" can be as simple as self-restraint, by not responding to a baiting post. Sometimes it means steering things back on topic. It always means talking to a fellow poster respectfully.

Come on folks. Move it in a positive direction.

There is an ignore feature - if you need it, use it.

Dear Members posting in Caylee's Forum,

Please understand that WS appreciates your participation in these threads. There is still much to discuss in Caylee's case, including the upcoming ZF trial, the state's efforts to collect some of the money it expended in this case, the Brace profile, the foundation and a number of other things.

What we are asking you to refrain from discussing is the "hate." We know and understand that the verdict in Casey's trial was shocking to say the least. We get it.

We know and understand that there was much underhandedness by many of the players in the case. We get it.

These things have been discussed to the point that NO new points are being made. It has pretty much all been said. The mods are tired of referreeing all the bicking and hate posts. We are asking you to stop.

Having said that, we understand that it takes a while to process what happened and get to a point where some of us can move forward. We are not trying to rush your individual progess. BUT we do need to move Caylee's forum forward.

To that end, we suggest that when you feel the need to post a rant, a hate post or a post attacking another poster, that instead you try doing anyone of the following things (or any other thing that helps you refrain from making a post that is likely to get you in trouble):

Type the post BUT do not hit the post button. Instead, get up and stand beside your chair and stomp your feet a bit and let out a really, really loud ARGGGGGGGGGGGG! Then sit back down, take a deep breath and delete your post. Don't post it.

Breath deeply and decide to move past the post that is upsetting you.

Stay out of the threads that tend to push your buttons.

Put posters that upset you on ignore, so you won't see their posts.

Anything else that will help you to refrain from making a post that will not only get you in trouble, but will derail the thread.

Here is a link to the thread on dealing with your fellow posters: [ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91915"]Best Practices Dealing with your fellow posters - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]

Take a look and see if there is anything else there that will help you.

We do appreciate your participation in Caylee's forum and we look forward to moving Caylee's forum forward.

Sincerely,

The Caylee Mods

Looks like Salem and I got fed up at the same time. I had no idea she was posting her mod message when I was typing mine. I orginally posted my post on the most recently closed thread but copied it here because it is more appropriate.

Thank you both...I totally agree. There has been quite a change on this site since the trial and it's not just because there are different opinions. There have always been a variety of opinions. It's the tone, the relentlessness and the horses being beat to death. I get enough bickering with a fourteen year old daughter...this used to be my refuge. :grouphug:


ETA: I never had to use the ignore feature until the trial. Now it is quite long. The problem is when someone quotes the person who is on the ignore list, you can see the post. And then it's tempting to read it....

Thank you for that. I particularly don't contribute the Caylee threads because, as stated in your post, it's getting old. We can hash and rehash every detail, but the reality is the case is over and she has been found not-guilty. I will not discuss any details if it relates to anything pre-trial, trial, or sentencing. However, I am interested in the after-life as it pertains to CFCMA and the Dr. Phil show. Same with the WM3 - I'm not interested in the last 18 years - there's nothing we can say or do that will change that. I'm only interested in life after prison and finding the killers (if that's possible).

Sorry to hear there's fighting amongst us. I haven't seen it personally, and can say that everyone has been uber nice to me.

Hugs!

Mel

The reason I LOVE WS is that I feel safe posting. There are a few cases (like this one and the WM3) where passion is so high that I'm afraid to say anything for fear that a few (yes, its the old adage, " a few bad apples..") will attack me like I was out in the wild of the internet forums! Other sites can be SO scary!
I want to feel safe and have intelligent debate with respectable people.
Thank you so much mods for posting this!

The "write the post" and step away is great advice, Salem. Then there's always the ignore button!!
Let's keep WS the "safe" place we know and love! :hug:

Thanks mods.
I totally agree with a couple of the other posters here ie I became a member (not so long ago admittedly) on WS because I recognized that ALL opinions were valued and respected whether they were right or wrong, agreed with or not. This appears to have changed a little in my short time here.
To me, this place felt safe - having been belittled, called names, sworn at and all the rest of it on some other blogs, including those belonging to major news sites - for no reason other THAN having an opinion!
Some (including myself) get away with the odd bit of frivolity at times ... I see no harm with that as long it is not offending other members. After all, the whole thing does bog down a little sometimes ... and it's still nice to talk to friends.
Most of us are no chicken, but this is not the place for attack. I don't have an ignore list because I do like to read the thoughts of everyone ... but I refuse to be baited.
Above all, we must remember that others read and lurk here too, just as I did for over two years. It'd be nice to believe we're sending them the right message

One thing I want to make clear is that we do welcome all opinions here. That means if someone wants to post that they feel sorry for KC, it is allowed. However, if the post is in the minority, expect it to meet resistance and don't be surprised if no one else agrees with the post.

Sometimes members feel they are moderated because of their minority opinion and that isn't correct. We moderate based on the delivery of the post, no matter what side of the fence. If a post is snarky, combative, enticing others, etc, it will be moderated.

When I become overly emotional about a case is usually when you don't see me for awhile. Our mods do a great job of keeping websleuths civil, but a board is only as good as it members. If you're overly emotional, angry, frustrated, not in a good headspace to control your words...that's a good indication that it's time to step away for awhile. Not just for your own sanity, but also as a kindness to your fellow WSers.

JMO

Mountain_Kat said:

When I become overly emotional about a case is usually when you don't see me for awhile. Our mods do a great job of keeping websleuths civil, but a board is only as good as it members. If you're overly emotional, angry, frustrated, not in a good headspace to control your words...that's a good indication that it's time to step away for awhile. Not just for your own sanity, but also as a kindness to your fellow WSers.

JMO

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Miss you! Wish you were a real juror instead of a mock juror!

I would like to add that we have been here long enough to tell a bait post from a real post, a real post being one that has a differing opinion and facts to back up those opinions. The bait posts will continue ad nauseam and shift, parse words, critique any differing opinion you try and give in debate. The big difference between the two is with a real post, there will be a level of respect. With the bait posts, you will not find respect or even hope to win a debate as that debate is ever changing.

I like the ignore button.

OMG - I could not wait for someone to start this thread! Yes, This Is Getting Old!!!

Opinions & ideas are great! Sleuthing is great! But this back & forth, bringing up the SAME things in multiple threads, and literally wasting "space" about the same old things -- it's boring. I cannot believe that the George & Cindy sighting in NC thread is still going strong. I have stopped viewing Caylee threads because it is nothing new.

There are so many missing & abused children & people out here. They deserve a chance. There was no justice for Caylee, that is just the way it happened. Let's make sure there is justice for the next victim who is neglected by the one that is supposed to love them the most.

Lover of WS

LancelotLink said:

I would like to add that we have been here long enough to tell a bait post from a real post, a real post being one that has a differing opinion and facts to back up those opinions. The bait posts will continue ad nauseam and shift, parse words, critique any differing opinion you try and give in debate. The big difference between the two is with a real post, there will be a level of respect. With the bait posts, you will not find respect or even hope to win a debate as that debate is ever changing.

I like the ignore button.

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Very, very true!! In my short time here i've started to understand this premise as well. A good point that everyone should try and understand. Kudos!

Kimster said:

One thing I want to make clear is that we do welcome all opinions here. That means if someone wants to post that they feel sorry for KC, it is allowed. However, if the post is in the minority, expect it to meet resistance and don't be surprised if no one else agrees with the post.

Sometimes members feel they are moderated because of their minority opinion and that isn't correct. We moderate based on the delivery of the post, no matter what side of the fence. If a post is snarky, combative, enticing others, etc, it will be moderated.

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As a member for the past 2 years, posting with a minority opinion, I can state with 100% conviction that minority opinions are not moderated because of a minority opinion. I always try to keep my posts respectful, as free from snark as humanly possible, and as much as possible on the topic of the thread. When I state something as fact, I will usually back the statement up with a link as to why I believe it is a fact. I can also state with 100% conviction that when you post from the minority, you do meet resistance and others rarely agree with your post LOL .

One thing that has changed quite a bit since the trial first began is that before the trial, most posters used links to back up their opinions or statements of fact. As the trial progressed, and the evidence was shown in the trial, links were used less and less, because it was now in evidence as opposed to in the docs. Post verdict, links now are used mostly for pointing to new news stories about this case. However, in the threads, most no longer back up their statements of fact with links. Immediately after the verdict, well, there was quite a bit of leeway given by the moderators (understandably so), due to emotions running very, very high. Thank you mods for your understanding. Emotions have calmed considerably.

As a poster from the minority, I am used to seeing my posts met with resistance. What i am not used to seeing is majority opinion posters disagreeing with each other, and I have seen a whole lot more of that in the past few weeks, than I have in the last 2 years. What is really surprising to me is the uncharacteristic, for lack of a better word, bickering. I have a theory as to why this may be happening:

Before the verdict, things were basically divided into two categories, opinions that leaned towards guilt (majority), opinions that leaned towards not guilty (minority). Now, however, the thread topics are not so cut and dried. JA's book, BRACE, state motion to recover investigative costs, Casey's life after trial, who will make the most money, RK suing LP, RK suing NE, GA and CA in NC, are all subjects that have little to do with whether or not KC is guilty or not guilty, so the majority and minority lines have all but disappeared. Someone who absolutely believes KC is guilty of all charges, may not like the idea of JA writing a book so soon after the verdict. Someone else who believes KC is guilty of all charges may love the idea of JA's new book, and can't understand why anyone would not want to hear what JA had to say. The current threads being discussed are open to a wider spread of opinions, and this has led to many more disagreements than back when it was just G or NG. It was much easier when ya'll could just look for old TDA's posts, skip over it and totally agree with everyone else LOL.

I enjoy WS, and I feel a comraderie with the other posters here. I have read posts that made me laugh, posts that made me cry, and posts that made me laugh so hard I cried.

I have enjoyed many spirited debates the last two years, with a large number of posters. More often than not, the end result was agreeing to disagree, but the discussions were thought provoking and informative. I know for a fact, we can discuss a subject, totally disagree with each other, and still respect one another. It really is as simple as that age old rule "treat others as you would like others to treat you."

It also doesn't hurt to periodically bring a critical eye to your own posts. Are they repetetive? Snarky? Not well thought out? Meanspirited? All about you? Are you posting out of boredom, or obsession with a case, or do you REALLY have something to contribute to a thread? Ask yourself why you post on this forum, and then every so often check your post content and see if it fits your intent. None of us are perfect, but we can all be better.

thedeviledadvocate said:

As a member for the past 2 years, posting with a minority opinion, I can state with 100% conviction that minority opinions are not moderated because of a minority opinion. I always try to keep my posts respectful, as free from snark as humanly possible, and as much as possible on the topic of the thread. When I state something as fact, I will usually back the statement up with a link as to why I believe it is a fact. I can also state with 100% conviction that when you post from the minority, you do meet resistance and others rarely agree with your post LOL .

......<snipped>

I have enjoyed many spirited debates the last two years, with a large number of posters. More often than not, the end result was agreeing to disagree, but the discussions were thought provoking and informative. I know for a fact, we can discuss a subject, totally disagree with each other, and still respect one another. It really is as simple as that age old rule "treat others as you would like others to treat you."

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<snipped for brevity and subject matter>

I am so glad to see you post on this thread, TDA. I can't count the times I have referenced you as a perfect example of a minority poster who expresses yourself eloquently and respectfully. I read all of your posts and, though I may not always agree, I always appreciate your thoughts and respect your reasoning. Your posts often make me think and reconsider some issues. You're a champ for hanging in there while swimming against the tide and I respect that you have held steadfast in your beliefs.

Thanks for this thread, Mods!

I have fallen away from this forum because I just have to get over the animosity I felt toward the jurors and the verdict. I did not like the feelings I was having, and the person I had become because of it. I still check in from time to time, though. I was/am here because of little Caylee Marie, but all of this controversy has not been about Caylee in a long time. I was so angry because little Caylee did not have the justice due her as the victim. I have come to realize and know that in the long run justice will be served by a much more important judge than the jury or myself.

When you post somehing clearly as an opinion, and then are challenged to prove why you think what you think, then it is time to just ignore that person. I will still read this forum from time to time and keep up with the forum news, but how many ways can the same things be stated over and over again?

I appreciate all of the MODS for having worked so very hard and diligently during jury selection and trial.

GB you all!

This thread is a good idea.

Everyone is an adult here and can choose how to post and how to behave. Snark away. If it's all in one place, then you know where to take it. Police yourselves.

And everyone else can get on with it.

Yep...getting old...my own frustration and anger at the verdict was getting old...even to myself. So..I had to step back for a while. I have been at webleuths a long time now...and my spirited and emotional posts have been moderated. For that I thank the admins and mods...they help keep me on the right side of the line. This is a great place to share our hearts for victims...and some attempts at levity are appreciated by most. We have a common bond in that we want to see justice prevail..we can work out from there...I always enjoy hearing another POV from someone who posts with reasoning. I have made friends here...not all of them agree with my posts...but we have fun with each other and have the same heart. Hats off to the mods.:rocker:

Mountain_Kat said:

It also doesn't hurt to periodically bring a critical eye to your own posts. Are they repetetive? Snarky? Not well thought out? Meanspirited? All about you? Are you posting out of boredom, or obsession with a case, or do you REALLY have something to contribute to a thread? Ask yourself why you post on this forum, and then every so often check your post content and see if it fits your intent. None of us are perfect, but we can all be better.

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LMBO... I'm always posting out of boredom!! :lol:
Sorry... hehe