WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 7

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SheWhoMustNotBeNamed

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2-year-old Sky Metalwala was last seen around 9:00 am on Sunday, November 6, 2011. Sky's mother reported that her car ran out of gas in Bellevue, Washington at that time. She said she left Sky in the unlocked vehicle and walked with her daughter, who is 4, about a mile to a gas station. When she returned approximately 1 hour later, Sky was missing.

An extensive search of the area turned up no sign of Sky. He was last seen wearing, a grey hooded sweatshirt, black and aqua blue sweatpants, and white socks. The FBI has been called in to assist in the investigation.

TIPLINE: 425-452-2564
pdtipline@bellevuewa.gov

NCMEC Poster - http://www.missingkids.com/missingki...archLang=en_US


PREVIOUS THREADS
Thread #1

Thread #2

Thread #3

Thread #4

Thread #5

Thread #6


Information and Support Thread

Media Links Thread
 
Solomon's (Sky's father) Declaration - http://images.bimedia.net/documents/Decl+of+Solomon+Metalwala.pdf

Julia's (Sky's mother) Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=800009168

Julia's Flickr - http://www.flickr.com/photos/metalwala/


CASE MAP (thanks nursebeeme!) - http://g.co/maps/yuegq


Basic Timeline:

2003 - Solomon and Julia are married

October 2009 - Sky is born
December 2009 - Sky left in the car alone for 55 minutes while parents shopped at Target

March 2010 - Solomon files for divorce
March 2010 - Julia files for protection order against Solomon
2010 (Unknown dates) - Julia involuntarily committed to mental hospital

2011
Tuesday, November 1
- 12 hour mediation, kids left alone, tentative custody agreement reached
Friday, November 4 - Julia backs out of custody agreement

Sunday, November 6
- Sky disappears
 
From Coldpizza's earlier post: "Actually through out the marriage they lived quite well. Not only a nice home but a condo as well. As her sickness evolved and the economy changed both were lost. I still hang on to the thought that Julia had the "white picket fence syndrome" at an early age instilled by possibly immigrating and seeking a better life? I wonder if OCD is genetic? I know other mental illnesses are, but is OCD learned or both genetic and learned?"

There's no known cause for OCD. Speculation includes genetic predisposition and environmental factors. Brain scans of people with OCD show differences from those without OCD so there is likely some genetic component, which would also make sense as it is an anxiety disorder and anxiety disorders are known to often have a genetic component. That said, OCD might also be a learned response to anxiety -- i.e. a maladaptive way of coping with anxiety that you learned from your environment. But, really, no one knows yet the actual cause/s. It could easily be a combination of several influences.
 
I haven't posted here yet (new, planned just to follow along), but since I live in the apartment complex, I thought I could answer some questions.

If she was/is living in a 1 bedroom, she is violating the lease. The lease specifically says no more than 2 occupants per bedroom.

The apartments do not have any camera system that I am aware of - and I am pretty careful about noticing these things. The garages are controlled by remotes, but there are no cameras at the entrance. There are two levels of parking, and I don't know which she parked/parks in. Nor do I know her apartment number. I have suspicions on which building, but I only know it is not the building I live in. (There are three. When the FBI questioned me Monday morning, I asked if she lived on my floor to try to get some more information. He just said she was in another building.)

She could theoretically walk to Marymoor Park, but it seems extremely unlikely. There is ample parking. There is no guard stand to enter. You're supposed to pay for parking in the lots, but I've always seen automated pay stations. I question how many people legitimately pay.

There was a burst of police activity in the beginning of the week, then they came back on Wednesday, and I didn't see anything of note until this morning. There was an SUV (parked "inconspicuously" on the sidewalk) monitoring who was coming in and out of the garages.

This complex is large, and people generally keep to themselves. It is a lot of young tech workers (Microsoft is headquartered in Redmond, among other local tech companies) and young families. There are a reasonable amount of kids, but very few of them I would recognize ever. Almost no one talks to each other here, and I don't even know what all of the people on my floor look like, let alone my building. So, the idea that people hadn't seen her in a while is not entirely useful. People just aren't paying attention. Plus, a lot of people look alike. We are familiar with Sky's face now, but if we didn't see it everyday, actively worrying about him, it would be different.

I am really hopeful that he is safe. It is disturbing and depressing to have this so close to home. It is stressful to have so much police presence. It makes me sad to think I could have seen him or his mom or sister and not really paid much attention before. I just hope he is safe.

I can try my best to answer more questions, but I really know little more than any of you, except about the apartment complex itself, which is probably not all that useful.
 
After reading all of this my question is how has SM kept himself from having to be hospitalized? How much can one man take? I pray he has a strong support group around him right now. His son is missing, his daughter has been brainwashed into hating him and the women he has loved through everything is responsible for at least the disappearance of his child or worse.
 
Welcome BearsFan9 thanks for the insight you bring.
 
From Bendrn's earlier post: "I read this book a few years back, and keep thinking of it as far as JB goes. Yes, she has documented mental illness, but does that exclude her from being a true sociopath? The two horrors may not be mutually exlusive. Any of the psych professionals/social workers on this board want to throw in their 10 cents?"

According to the DSM-IV (a diagnostic manual of all mental illnesses published by the APA), what you are referring to as a sociopath is likely someone who would be categorized as having Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). Psychopathy used to be a term used by the DSM but has since been replaced by ASPD. Unlike mental health disorders, ASPD is considered a personality disorder and personality disorders are often viewed as a more fixed part of the person (as they compose their personality) whereas mood disorders, anxiety disorders, PTSD, etc. are viewed as more treatable and reconcilable since they are not a fixed part of one's personality. Whether or not people with a diagnosed personality disorder are "treatable" is a question that is up for debate within the psychiatric community. The basic question is: can you change a person's fundamental personality?

As I am sure you are well aware, those who commit some of the most horrific crimes, fall into this category of psychopath/sociopath -- if you google "diagnostic criteria for antisocial personality disorder" you will see why.

To answer your question more specifically, a personality disorder (i.e ASPD) is very different diagnostically than a mood/anxiety/PTSD disorder. They can be comorbid, though. Having mental illness does not exclude you from having a personality disorder. In example, you can have ASPD with an anxiety or depressive disorder. Hope that answers your question!

Other professionals, definitely chime in if I'm missing something or off-base here. :)
 
From Coldpizza's earlier post: "Actually through out the marriage they lived quite well. Not only a nice home but a condo as well. As her sickness evolved and the economy changed both were lost. I still hang on to the thought that Julia had the "white picket fence syndrome" at an early age instilled by possibly immigrating and seeking a better life? I wonder if OCD is genetic? I know other mental illnesses are, but is OCD learned or both genetic and learned?"

There's no known cause for OCD. Speculation includes genetic predisposition and environmental factors. Brain scans of people with OCD show differences from those without OCD so there is likely some genetic component, which would also make sense as it is an anxiety disorder and anxiety disorders are known to often have a genetic component. That said, OCD might also be a learned response to anxiety -- i.e. a maladaptive way of coping with anxiety that you learned from your environment. But, really, no one knows yet the actual cause/s. It could easily be a combination of several influences.

Thank you for your response. Anxiety seems to be the key word here. Which can lead to more questions. Hormone levels have an impact as well I would think? Still the OCD component somewhat learned IMO would have to have if nothing else been influenced or triggered in the young years of life.
I have no professional experience but I am of opinion these sort of things if learned are done before 8 if not sooner.
 
:welcome4: Bearfan!! you have answered some questions that have been brought up, thank you :)
 
This is from the last thread:

gitana1 said: "All I know is someone screwed up royally."

gitana -I read your lengthy response to what I posted vis-a-vis that collectively the system and everyone involved failed this boy. I agreed with (nearly) everything you said too...and then, you wrote the above statement.

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154486&page=21

Huh? I certainly think that collectively everyone screwed up. But what do you mean with that? have my curious listening ears on.... Seems essentially we are on the same page. Sure, each person did what they could do given their role, and I fully understand the parameters in which they are required to operate...but collectively, they failed miserably.
 
From Coldpizza's earlier post: "Actually through out the marriage they lived quite well. Not only a nice home but a condo as well. As her sickness evolved and the economy changed both were lost. I still hang on to the thought that Julia had the "white picket fence syndrome" at an early age instilled by possibly immigrating and seeking a better life? I wonder if OCD is genetic? I know other mental illnesses are, but is OCD learned or both genetic and learned?"

There's no known cause for OCD. Speculation includes genetic predisposition and environmental factors. Brain scans of people with OCD show differences from those without OCD so there is likely some genetic component, which would also make sense as it is an anxiety disorder and anxiety disorders are known to often have a genetic component. That said, OCD might also be a learned response to anxiety -- i.e. a maladaptive way of coping with anxiety that you learned from your environment. But, really, no one knows yet the actual cause/s. It could easily be a combination of several influences.

FWIW i suffer from OCD (handwashing, germs, counting). It is torturous because we DO know it is not based on reality, but one part of our brain continues to fight with the logical part of our brain. There have been ponts in my life when it has prevented me from functioning as highly as I could. Thank goodness this was in high school (I couldn't get to school on time because of my repetitive rituals). My mom tried to take me to a therapist, but I refused to go. Somehow I got through hiegh school with a high enough GPA to go to college, got a teaching degree and certificate, and then went on to get a Masters in, yes, Psychology!

I now am functional, but it remains a struggle. I am diagnosed with depression/anxiety and take medication for these. OCD is an anxiety based disorder, but it creates anxiety, too. The old "Catch 22". Just FYI..I do not experience bi-polar disorder.

Regarding OCD being genetic...I do think it is. My mom, dad, sister, and my daughter all have OCD tendencies which fall on various points on the continuum, and which are present in various aspects of our behavior. Mine just happened(s) to be the most evident. I feel it can only be environmental in that if the tendency is there in the brain, then it can be exacerbated by events, people, etc. impacting us. But the struggle in the brain cannot be learned...IMO
 
Thank you for your response. Anxiety seems to be the key word here. Which can lead to more questions. Hormone levels have an impact as well I would think? Still the OCD component somewhat learned IMO would have to have if nothing else been influenced or triggered in the young years of life.
I have no professional experience but I am of opinion these sort of things if learned are done before 8 if not sooner.

I'm no scientist, but I'm guessing that if the brains of people with OCD look different than the brains of people without OCD, that it is primarily a genetically-based disorder. I am also guessing this based on the fact that many OCD obsessions (thoughts) and compulsions (behaviors) are standard amongst a wide variety of groups and that cannot be explained by environment alone. The fact that many classic OCD symptoms are so common -- hand washing, checking keys/stove, etc., makes me think that a lot of this is based in the brain. Environment could definitely play a role, however, and it's always possible that there is a genetic predisposition but that it takes a certain environmental "trigger" -- and that could be almost anything -- to set it off (there are some theories that this is the case with schizophrenia and autism). I'd be curious to know about any family history of mental illness in JB's family....
 
Welcome to WS BearsFan9!

:welcome:

Thank you for answering many of our general questions about the apartment complex. I appreciate your taking the time to join us.

If I may ask, do they have activities for the residents which include activities for children or parents and their children?

Just thinking outloud as my sons godmom lives in an older complex, but they have an enormous clubhouse with an indoor and outdoor pool and many ammenities such as yoga, personal trainer onsite etc. etc....

Thanks again!

Cubs'
 
Thank you for your response. Anxiety seems to be the key word here. Which can lead to more questions. Hormone levels have an impact as well I would think? Still the OCD component somewhat learned IMO would have to have if nothing else been influenced or triggered in the young years of life.
I have no professional experience but I am of opinion these sort of things if learned are done before 8 if not sooner.

I know that my brother, who is an adult with (extremely) severe OCD, had tendencies as a child but did not become "full-blown" until he went away to college (for a very short time, needless to say). He never said what happened to lead him to retreat basically ever since, either the shock of the inability to control his environment, perhaps, or a specific incident, which is often the case, from what I have read. He now wears rubber gloves 24/7, won't even touch his own food, only leaves the house at exactly 4AM each day to get what he needs at all-night grocery store and only communicates with my brother, with whom he lives. His cleaning obsession goes without saying...he has a very detailed schedule of chores for himself, all geared to very specific times down to the minute. Anyway, it is a dreadful disorder/disease and can worsen with stressfule events, for sure. JMO
 
FWIW i suffer from OCD (handwashing, germs, counting). It is torturous because we DO know it is not based on reality, but one part of our brain continues to fight with the logical part of our brain. There have been ponts in my life when it has prevented me from functioning as highly as I could. Thank goodness this was in high school (I couldn't get to school on time because of my repetitive rituals). My mom tried to take me to a therapist, but I refused to go. Somehow I got through hiegh school with a high enough GPA to go to college, got a teaching degree and certificate, and then went on to get a Masters in, yes, Psychology!

I now am functional, but it remains a struggle. I am diagnosed with depression/anxiety and take medication for these. OCD is an anxiety based disorder, but it creates anxiety, too. The old "Catch 22". Just FYI..I do not experience bi-polar disorder.

Regarding OCD being genetic...I do think it is. My mom, dad, sister, and my daughter all have OCD tendencies which fall on various points on the continuum, and which are present in various aspects of our behavior. Mine just happened(s) to be the most evident. I feel it can only be environmental in that if the tendency is there in the brain, then it can be exacerbated by events, people, etc. impacting us. But the struggle in the brain cannot be learned...IMO

I'm totally on board with everything you say here. Thanks for demonstrating how people can rise above these challenges and lead fulfilling lives (congrats!). This is why I am so disappointed that no one (uh....CPS??) pushed basic CBT or other therapy on JB as part of her family intervention plan. If she did do something to Sky....and it was based in part on the severity of her mental health issues....then it's just maddening that no one encouraged her to seek appropriate treatment. It could have made a world of difference and possibly prevented what happened here -- whatever that is. And, even if she didn't do something to Sky (or if it had nothing to do with her mental illness), she still should have gotten help because, obviously, the kids were being neglected and denied basic needs like food and a safe environment.
 
Well the fluffy pillow is calling me, I hope for S.. to be warm and snuggled somewhere.
I also give those same wishes for M who must be so confused and scared right now.
May they both be in loving arms
 
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