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Thread: FL - Michelle Parker, 33, Orlando, 17 Nov 2011 - #19

  1. #301
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark2 View Post
    I've wondered the same thing. How could his "Star Wars" friends not have seen some of the violent side of him that is so well documented.

    Didn't any of them see the melee at the MegaCon convention where Dale pushed Michelle and bouncers had to intervene? And then, of course, he left her there. All they probably remember from that incident is that Michelle threw the ring. But, Dale appeared to start the whole thing.

    A slew of the Star Wars buds showed up at court to support him at the custody hearing. If any of them had bothered to learn the facts about where the twins spent the majority of their early lives, then they wouldn't have sat there in support. Placing those kids with him just did them more harm.

    Someday when they're old enough, they're going to figure out why they have no mom. No amount of lawyer spin is going to be able to fix that.
    Heck, his friends didn't even see him go out of his way to shoulder-slam that reporter when he was entering the courthouse for the custody hearing. No, wait, I'm wrong. His friends did see---in fact, didn't they cheer?

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  3. #302
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    This may not be at all relevant or even indicative of behaviors or violent nature, but the whole Star Wars thing brings up something I'd like to share:

    I am a preschool teacher. One of my students is OBSESSED with Star Wars. I do not use that term lightly. He seemingly relates to most everything in Star Wars terms, assigns other children as either Storm Troopers or Luke, Han, etc.

    Yes, it is odd and concerning from a developmental standpoint, but what is really worrisome is that he is very physically aggressive to other children and in fact has caused more than a few minor injuries to other children while swinging blocks or other classroom materials, pretending to do battle with light sabers.

    I do not want to offend anyone, but Dale's obsession just reminds me of what might be if this student of mine were to grow up without outgrowing his obsession with Star Wars.

    Whenever this child ends up causing harm to a classmate, he always excuses it by saying that the other child was Darth Vader or a Bad Guy. It's a big enough red flag when a 3 year old is rationalizing physical violence but it leads me to wonder what happens when that 3 year old grows up?

    Maybe he becomes Dale?

    Again, pure observation and speculation, but Dale does strike me as someone not much more emotionally mature than my student.


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  5. #303
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzmaster View Post
    "Your day is coming"... I know Dale used these words for Michelle in 2009. Looks like he had 2 full years to plan her "disappearance" and make those words become reality. I was revisiting some of his past recently. This summary from the examiner really puts things in perspective:
    http://www.examiner.com/missing-pers...f-brain-injury

    <modsnip>

    I've seen no evidence of him turning his life around yet many friends say they have never seen this destructive side of him. What am I missing?

    What type of evidence are you looking for? The only thing that has been in the media is him trying to get the child support money for the kids.

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  7. #304
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark2 View Post
    I've wondered the same thing. How could his "Star Wars" friends not have seen some of the violent side of him that is so well documented.

    Didn't any of them see the melee at the MegaCon convention where Dale pushed Michelle and bouncers had to intervene? And then, of course, he left her there. All they probably remember from that incident is that Michelle threw the ring. But, Dale appeared to start the whole thing.

    A slew of the Star Wars buds showed up at court to support him at the custody hearing. If any of them had bothered to learn the facts about where the twins spent the majority of their early lives, then they wouldn't have sat there in support. Placing those kids with him just did them more harm.

    Someday when they're old enough, they're going to figure out why they have no mom. No amount of lawyer spin is going to be able to fix that.
    Although the twins were living with Michelle and her mother for a year or so prior to her going missing Dale still had weekends with them and when Michelle would work.. But what about the other 2 years of their lives? It's not like he is a stranger to them. These twins know and have spent a considerable amount of time with their father. So why wouldn't his friends go and support him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by hon3yb33 View Post
    What type of evidence are you looking for? The only thing that has been in the media is him trying to get the child support money for the kids.
    I don't know if such evidence exists yet many of his "supporters" say he is a changed man. I just don't see it. He has continued *on the same path for most of his adult life:



    http://myclerk.myorangeclerk.com/default.aspx


    1990- Burglary
    1991- Criminal Trespass
    1992(March)- Controlled Substance Offense
    1992(June)- Aggravated Battery*
    1996- Battery
    1999- File for Divorce*
    2002- Repeated violence and order of protection issued
    2005- Sued by Lake Tyler Condo Assoc.
    2005- Some kind of lawsuit for money filed by DS against person from repeat violence above
    2009- Paternity Suit file by DS against MP
    2009- Domestic Violence with Children present filed against DS by MP
    A number of traffic violations over the years for different things.*

    This also doesn't *include trouble he got in while in the military (where records are private). My point is Dale's defenders say he could never have made Michelle disappear, it's not the Dale they know. Based on his track record, it seems he's good at fooling people into believing he's someone he's not. Maybe that's why he had to go Craig's List to get dates with men and women (if that's what he was doing). He seems to try to mask who he really is.

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  10. #306
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    Morning!!
    I just wanted to maybe give some food for thought. Am NOT insinuating nor accusing DSII, but an interesting scenario, none the less.
    A year or so ago, I got an email from my ex's current wife...she wanted to know if he was VIOLENT during our 5 years together and just his basic behavior. I told her he wasn't violent, gave GREAT gifts...and took care of laundry, dinner, etc. He was a pharm rep, so had flexible hours.
    Now, he wasn't an angel AND, could be mean at any given time. Something wasn't doing what it was supposed to do that he was working on, so he threw my favorite glass pitcher against the wall...it was the one my Aunt Mary used to make us Kool Aid in as a kid during the summer...so, NOT replaceable. I cried for days, BUT, believe me, I put the fear of "Jersey girl" in him after that....suprisingly, no more probs...LOL (He was from WVa and hadn't been initiated to a typical Jersey verbal beatdown...LOL)

    Well, his current wife told me he had pushed her around, wrecked bookshelves with her stereo on it, smashed her guitar al la Pete Townsend, etc. BUT, he bought her a plastic ukulele as a Christmas gift to replace it. (sorry, LOVED that one)

    The kicker was, he told her he was married for the third time...he would NOT get another divorce...AND, if she were to try to leave him, he and his friend would "get rid of her" AND they knew how to "do it" so no one would find her.

    I guess I'm just saying, no matter how someone behaved in the past, it often builds up, I call it the "slow burn"...and, there's a point where things just eat away at you, and all heck breaks loose. Like my ex, he already PLANNED what would happen in a certain situation. AND, it stemmed from things from his past...like the other 2 marriages that failed...maybe MP just became the unwitting victim who pushed the wrong button one too many times.
    Perhaps this poor woman said or did something that broke the camels back....AND, it put into action a plan he had made "hypothetically" in his mind...like, if she does THIS again, I'm gonna do THAT.
    Maybe, she had comments about his parenting skills, I don't know, IMO, he didn't seem to take rejection OR criticism very well....especially from a woman.

    Just some things I've been thinking about as to WHY he would do something to this beautiful woman, the mother of his children.
    (And, being PC, I used DSII because he has been named as the primary suspect)

    Again, as always, just IMO.

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  12. #307
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    If I could say two words to the family court judge they would be "Josh Powell".

    I am worried sick for those twin babies. Dale's rap sheet speaks for itself without even factoring in Michelle's disappearance.


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  14. #308
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    Quote Originally Posted by hon3yb33 View Post
    Although the twins were living with Michelle and her mother for a year or so prior to her going missing Dale still had weekends with them and when Michelle would work.. But what about the other 2 years of their lives? It's not like he is a stranger to them. These twins know and have spent a considerable amount of time with their father. So why wouldn't his friends go and support him?
    Point taken. However, in the first two years of Michelle living on and off with Dale, the twins were in residence with their dad AND their mom. In other words, Dale has never had those kids alone for an extended time period - until now.

    We also hear from Michelle's family that Dale would often have his grandparents watch the twins, and from Michelle herself that Dale wasn't even taking visitation for several months around the PC incident because he was mad at her.

    The fact that he could punish the kids by not taking visitation because he was mad at Michelle shows that he is not capable of separating the two. His anger at Michelle=punish the kids.

    As far as I'm concerned, keeping the twins from Yyvonne and family is an extension of that equation.

    Furthermore - and this is just my 2 cents or maybe it's worth a buck, but it sounds like he's STILL mad at her. Since he can't understand that you don't punish the kids 'cause you're mad at the mom, that in my opinion means the twins are in danger. I mean, when's his anger gonna end, Honeybee? First he offs her, then he blames her for losing his job, then he begs the state for cash because he's a single parent (yeah, that's what happens when you kill mom), and the state gives it to him, the same state that is feverishly trying to pull charges together for his murdering Michelle.

    I don't have a problem with friends supporting each other when bad stuff happens, but I do think it's incumbent on them to at least check out the facts before they continue to extend that support. MSM has reported in detail on Dale. Him pushing that camera-man right before he went into his hearing is just an extension of verything the media has reported about his character. Changed? Really? Denying visitation to the maternal grandparents? Sounds like the same ole' vindictive Dale to me.

    I think back to the OJ case and remember the rock-solid support he had going into that trial. One by one they abandoned him when they could no longer deny the facts. Even his own kids abandoned him. We hear now that they don't even go see him in jail. Someday I envision the same thing happening to Dale. He may temporaily get away with this, but the court of public opinion has spoken. He's not gonna get away with it there.

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  16. #309
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    Quote Originally Posted by FrayedKnot View Post
    This may not be at all relevant or even indicative of behaviors or violent nature, but the whole Star Wars thing brings up something I'd like to share:

    I am a preschool teacher. One of my students is OBSESSED with Star Wars. I do not use that term lightly. He seemingly relates to most everything in Star Wars terms, assigns other children as either Storm Troopers or Luke, Han, etc.

    Yes, it is odd and concerning from a developmental standpoint, but what is really worrisome is that he is very physically aggressive to other children and in fact has caused more than a few minor injuries to other children while swinging blocks or other classroom materials, pretending to do battle with light sabers.

    I do not want to offend anyone, but Dale's obsession just reminds me of what might be if this student of mine were to grow up without outgrowing his obsession with Star Wars.

    Whenever this child ends up causing harm to a classmate, he always excuses it by saying that the other child was Darth Vader or a Bad Guy. It's a big enough red flag when a 3 year old is rationalizing physical violence but it leads me to wonder what happens when that 3 year old grows up?

    Maybe he becomes Dale?

    Again, pure observation and speculation, but Dale does strike me as someone not much more emotionally mature than my student.


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    Well, being a huge Star Wars fan does not necessarily lead to bad things. My son has been a huge fan since he was little and the first film came out. Now, in his 30's, he has an entire room devoted to Star Wars memorabilia, attends the conventions, etc. He is the sweetest, nicest person you'll meet, has a fantastic job, a great wife and a lot of friends spread all over the country. He has a lot of friends who are also avid fans and I haven't met one that I find scary or violent.
    ___________________________________

    "Life is life's greatest gift. Guard the life of another creature as you would your own because it is your own. On life's scale of values, the smallest is no less precious to the creature who owns it than the largest..." Lloyd Biggle, Jr.

    Let's bring Michelle Parker home: http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ichelle+parker

    All statements made by me are based on my opinion.

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  18. #310
    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzmaster View Post
    I don't know if such evidence exists yet many of his "supporters" say he is a changed man. I just don't see it. He has continued *on the same path for most of his adult life:



    http://myclerk.myorangeclerk.com/default.aspx


    1990- Burglary
    1991- Criminal Trespass
    1992(March)- Controlled Substance Offense Marijuana under 20 grams never went to court, charges dropped
    1992(June)- Aggravated Battery*
    1996- Battery
    1999- File for Divorce* He filed for divorce and remarried a week later, whats wrong with that?
    2002- Repeated violence and order of protection issued DS2 filed for a protective order against another female, stalker?
    2005- Sued by Lake Tyler Condo Assoc. Not DS2
    2005- Some kind of lawsuit for money filed by DS against person from repeat violence above So he sued somebody? Ok dont see what this has to do with anything but ok
    2009- Paternity Suit file by DS against MPHe filed, to get custody of kids maybe, or to get child support started
    2009- Domestic Violence with Children present filed against DS by MP.*Denied because of lack of evidence on the things MP alleged

    A number of traffic violations over the years for different things Only traffic ticket I found was on 5/16/2002 for not wearing seatbelt, I couldnt find a number of tickets over the years, can you provide a link?


    This also doesn't *include trouble he got in while in the military (where records are private).not really private My point is Dale's defenders say he could never have made Michelle disappear, it's not the Dale they know. Based on his track record, it seems he's good at fooling people into believing he's someone he's not. Maybe that's why he had to go Craig's List to get dates with men and womenWhat proof that he is dating men again, nothing solid, for some odd reason you seem to be stuck on this one. I havent seen anything to back that at all (if that's what he was doing). He seems to try to mask who he really is.
    <modsnip> I really dont see any problems in the last 10 years, besides the restaining order that was dropped for lack of evidence. I could say MP made that up just to hurt DS and when it got to the courts she couldnt back anything up, does that make it true. If he broke out her window and she knew she was going to court wouldnt see at the very least take a pictue of the broken window to show the judge?
    Last edited by Salem; 03-10-2012 at 02:29 PM. Reason: You may ask for links, but you may not attack, thanks.

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  20. #311
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigCityLightsGrl View Post
    I though this site was about facts, proof, seems to me like you can just say anything you want and it true. I really dont see any problems in the last 10 years, besides the restaining order that was dropped for lack of evidence. I could say MP made that up just to hurt DS and when it got to the courts she couldnt back anything up, does that make it true. If he broke out her window and she knew she was going to court wouldnt see at the very least take a pictue of the broken window to show the judge?
    I think you're minimizing here, BCLG.

    We don't know why the restraining order wasn't granted to Michelle. She may have withdrawn her request after Dale worked on her.

    Also, the severity of the charges against him are astonishing no matter when they happened.

    Something else: there's talk about how Dale bragged about what happended to wife #2, from a verified poster here namd Einyroo. That was just several years ago. Why brag about the brutal way your wife died if you "loved" her?

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  22. #312
    Quote Originally Posted by Lark2 View Post
    I think you're minimizing here, BCLG.

    We don't know why the restraining order wasn't granted to Michelle. She may have withdrawn her request after Dale worked on her.

    Also, the severity of the charges against him are astonishing no matter when they happened.

    Something else: there's talk about how Dale bragged about what happended to wife #2, from a verified poster here namd Einyroo. That was just several years ago. Why brag about the brutal way your wife died if you "loved" her?
    NG said it was denied by the judge from lack of evidence, I wanna say I read that a few other places as well, so we do know.

    Who says he was bragging about her, could he have just been talking about it, and the story was misunderstood or taken the wrong way. If he indeed was "bragging" so to say, then why hasnt that person brought that info to LE? Make make a statement like that and do nothing about it?

    Sometimes people just want to be part of something so bad, and sometimes tell things that might not be 100% true just to be that person.

    Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigCityLightsGrl View Post
    NG said it was denied by the judge from lack of evidence, I wanna say I read that a few other places as well, so we do know.

    Who says he was bragging about her, could he have just been talking about it, and the story was misunderstood or taken the wrong way. If he indeed was "bragging" so to say, then why hasnt that person brought that info to LE? Make make a statement like that and do nothing about it?

    Sometimes people just want to be part of something so bad, and sometimes tell things that might not be 100% true just to be that person.

    Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.
    Einyroo said he/she did talk to LE about that. You can search the threads for his/her comments.

    Also, NG said it was dropped for lack of evidence: Link to that???

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  25. #314
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    captdj I totally agree about the kindness of gay men. I live in CA and have many friends who are gay. I just wanted to say that for four years I had a boss who was gay and he was very narcissistic and was "out for himself." If anyone got in his way, he treated them horribly. He even looked a lot like DS, so there are exceptions to the rule.
    I don't know if DS is Bi or not, but whatever he is...he is a narcissist.
    ...Websleuthers, as always your posts are excellent. You do a great job here on this forum. Thank You

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  27. #315
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    JMO - I don't think the issue here is WHO DS is intimate with but a pattern of behavior he has toward those he is intimate with. Should this pattern continue, I think the next 'Who' will have similar stories. JMO

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  29. #316
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    There are many, many cases I could cite in which a restraining order was denied only to end in murder. The denial does not mean DSJr wasn't abusive. It means, to me, the judge probably lacked training in domestic abuse. It is quite common for abusive personalities to 'con' judges, law enforcement, attorneys, guardian ad litems, DHS, etc. Lundy Bancroft is a great resource for understanding this phenomenon. (link: http://www.lundybancroft.com/?page_id=279)

    Abusers are typically so charming and manipulative most people don't realize they are abusive. To my mind it is shocking then how much evidence is readily available to discern that DSJr most definitely fits the profile of an abuser. MOO and FWIW
    "Emotional abuse isn't calling someone a name; it isn't simply raising your voice at someone you're meant to love...it's a concerted effort, a campaign, designed with the sole purpose of destruction. Your destruction. Emotional abuse crushes your spirit. It steals a piece of your soul. It changes everything about you and how you interact with others. You are never the same having survived it. In its wake, you question everything you ever thought you knew. You wonder what's wrong with you. You believe you aren't worth loving. You doubt yourself - constantly. And you learn to live with scars no one sees."



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    I would like to say that IMHO, I haven't seen anything homophobic posted by any WSers regarding DS2s Craig's List ads (alleged).

    It just seems that most people are either expressing surprise that CL even has those types of personals or shock that DS2 might have had any ties to escort type work-whether straight or gay.

    I have seen only thoughtful posts, examining the info and regarding it's validity as well as DISCUSSING whether, if true, it may have had anything to do with Michelle's disappearance.

    I mean this respectfully, and I really think we are all just sifting thru info and coming up with plausible theories. Sometimes the info presented is a little seamy but I don't think anyone is being judgemental.

    All MOO of course.


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  32. #318
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reality Orlando View Post
    Well, being a huge Star Wars fan does not necessarily lead to bad things. My son has been a huge fan since he was little and the first film came out. Now, in his 30's, he has an entire room devoted to Star Wars memorabilia, attends the conventions, etc. He is the sweetest, nicest person you'll meet, has a fantastic job, a great wife and a lot of friends spread all over the country. He has a lot of friends who are also avid fans and I haven't met one that I find scary or violent.
    Oh ITA that Star Wars in and of itself is not creepy or scary!

    It's just DS2's fandom coupled with his non-debatable violent past and his constant blaming of everyone else for his behaviors just reminded me in spades of this little child in my class.

    I began to wonder if DS2 perhaps crossed over from uberfan to obsessed and unable to discern fantasy from reality, seeing MP as the bad guy and himself a hero.

    I really meant no disrespect, and admittedly I don't really 'get' that total immersion in a hobby. I have probably WAY too many interests so wouldn't ever have time to devote to just one. I'm just theorizing!


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    Quote Originally Posted by artzypantz View Post
    MOO~~~ When i do deep thinking about Michelle's situation, (i dont know if you would call it Meditation or something), i keep getting the feeling michelle was poisioned and drown......... poisioned and placed into water to end her life.

    I am going to start concentraiting on the "who did it and where is she" concerns the next time i can get into a deep state of mind & awareness about Michelle's situation.

    I hope eventually it can be of help to her and her family by the good people here helping to solve this and bring her back to her family.

    MOO
    Artzypantz
    Interesting! Like maybe when she dropped off the kids DS2 offered her a drink with rohypnol (sp?) or something like that in it and when she passed out, he loaded her up, then buckled up the kids and drove out to mama and daddy's to drop 'em off, then continued on to weigh down MP's passed out body and put her in a lake?

    Makes perfect sense, and would be indisputably premeditation. Also the kids would have seen anything violent (i hope) like DS2 losing his temper and choking MP. The planning would also account for the lack of physical evidence. Heat of the moment would have likely left more clues.

    Sorry if the drug idea was thrown out before, I am waaaaaay behind on MP's case. Thanks, artzy!


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    Quote Originally Posted by BigCityLightsGrl View Post
    <modsnip> I really dont see any problems in the last 10 years, besides the restaining order that was dropped for lack of evidence. I could say MP made that up just to hurt DS and when it got to the courts she couldnt back anything up, does that make it true. If he broke out her window and she knew she was going to court wouldnt see at the very least take a pictue of the broken window to show the judge?
    Yeah, but MP is the one missing and probably dead. Just saying. Even if she was one to stir up the pot (I think she even said as much on PC in reference to their fights whilst drinking) she is GONE and under highly suspicious circumstances and the prime suspect has a very violent past and an ex who died suspiciously, too.


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    Quote Originally Posted by BigCityLightsGrl View Post
    <modsnip> I really dont see any problems in the last 10 years, besides the restaining order that was dropped for lack of evidence. I could say MP made that up just to hurt DS and when it got to the courts she couldnt back anything up, does that make it true. If he broke out her window and she knew she was going to court wouldnt see at the very least take a pictue of the broken window to show the judge?
    Are you really trying to brush Dale's troubled past under the rug? That most of his trouble was in his younger days and now all of a sudden the last 10 years he's been a model citizen?*

    A changed man? *Really? *When? The day Michelle went missing? No wait he lied about when Michelle arrived. *Oh, no, wait... he went to work the next day. That's because he's a responsible guy, right? He did show his "concern" via a brief statement on FB- that's right!

    Then there's the way the Smith family jumped in to to help the Parkers in any way they could after Michelle went missing. *That *truly was a gesture of concern. Oh*wait, they never did that.*

    Maybe the Parker's and Smith's had some differences but wouldn't they*put aside their differences at a time like that, if indeed they ever even had any? *In the first few hours wouldn't they rush to help, unless they already knew Michelle's fate IMO.

    *Shouldn't Dale & his family have been more concerned for the mother of their children/grandchildren for just one moment? *Could you seriously tell me, that if your own grandchild's parent went missing, you would just sit back and say 'how tragic?" *Oh wait *they didn't even do that.

    Dale Sr when asked by the media about where Michele was just kept saying, *"Didn't I tell ya?" *and "Why don't you go look for another Hummer the way you did the last time."... Now THERE'S some genuine concern! Oh sure, it was after they went to court. *That's simply because they were never available for comment until then. Imagine that! *

    And when the reporter asks Sr if he thinks his son is guilty, and he finally answers the question, he pauses and sheepishly answers "no"
    as opposed to all of his more assertive behavior in every other place he speaks. This may not indicate Srs involvement in the disappearance, *but IMO he does NOT believe his son is innocent...
    To me, Dale doesn't seem to be much of a changed man.*


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    Maybe not rohypnol, but what about chloroform?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BritsKate View Post
    There are many, many cases I could cite in which a restraining order was denied only to end in murder. The denial does not mean DSJr wasn't abusive. It means, to me, the judge probably lacked training in domestic abuse. It is quite common for abusive personalities to 'con' judges, law enforcement, attorneys, guardian ad litems, DHS, etc. Lundy Bancroft is a great resource for understanding this phenomenon. (link: http://www.lundybancroft.com/?page_id=279)

    Abusers are typically so charming and manipulative most people don't realize they are abusive. To my mind it is shocking then how much evidence is readily available to discern that DSJr most definitely fits the profile of an abuser. MOO and FWIW
    Thank you so much BritsKate for weighing in on this topic. I know how well versed you are on it and I always appreciate your input. And I agree, imagine the things that have not resulted in an actual LE report and therefore we are not privy to. Michelle touched on a few of those things in their relationship during the brief time that she was on air during the PC episode. And none of the things she mentioned resulted in an LE report...including the actual incident which prompted her to throw the ring in the first place.

    MOO

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  43. #324
    SmoothOperator's Avatar
    SmoothOperator is offline Sadly what connects all these puzzles is that there's a victim@the heart of each
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    Please just disregard if this a duplicate article.. I must have missed it being discussed therefor its new news to me..
    .

    http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/loc ... 0957.story

    In recent weeks Smith has stopped allowing Stewart to see her grandchildren despite a visitation agreement, she said.

    Stewart said she worries about what Smith may be telling the children about their mother and her family. He drove the twins to her home in Geneva recently, but then refused to allow Stewart to see them, she said.

    The last time Stewart said she saw the twins they were dirty, but otherwise in good health.

    Early in the missing person investigation Florida's Department of Children and Families asked a judge to remove the children from Smith's care because of concerns that he had been violent in front of the children.

    Orange Circuit Judge Thomas W. Turner denied the request, despite hearing about Smith's run-ins with the law, former addiction to a hallucinogenic drug, his dishonorable discharge from the military, the completion of a lengthy prison sentence on drug and domestic violence convictions and allegations from Parker's eldest child from a previous relationship that Smith attacked their mother in front of all three children.

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  45. #325
    BritsKate's Avatar
    BritsKate is offline Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FrayedKnot View Post
    Yeah, but MP is the one missing and probably dead. Just saying. Even if she was one to stir up the pot (I think she even said as much on PC in reference to their fights whilst drinking) she is GONE and under highly suspicious circumstances and the prime suspect has a very violent past and an ex who died suspiciously, too.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Just bouncing off your post, Frayed.

    This is another misconception I've seen here and in other threads in which abuse plays a dominant role. Some people believe that if a victim fights back, swears, argues, screams her fool head off (or throws a ring ) then she really can't be too much of a "victim".

    That premise is too simplistic for the convoluted psychology of abuse though. Emotional abuse can lead a victim to asclosetocrazy as one will ever get. The abuser uses it to their advantage and often even manipulates the victim's response to make the victim appear unstable, suicidal, aggressive, etc.

    A story I use to compare is when I split from my ex and he threatened to kill me. I screamed at the top of my lungs, in public, for him to just go ahead and do it already. Foolish? Wholeheartedly. But I had been hearing him say that same thing for over nine years and I was tired, angry, frustrated and just wanted him to go away already. I'm quite certain I appeared crazy to my neighbors.

    In the interest of full disclosure I threw a few things over the years as well. Never at anyone - unlike him. Never to hurt anyone - unlike him. It's the very difference between anger and abuse.

    Abuse survivors are some of the angriest people I know. We've earned the right to be. The overwhelming majority reserve that anger for their abuser (as well as themselves) and it's part and parcel of the healing process. FWIW
    "Emotional abuse isn't calling someone a name; it isn't simply raising your voice at someone you're meant to love...it's a concerted effort, a campaign, designed with the sole purpose of destruction. Your destruction. Emotional abuse crushes your spirit. It steals a piece of your soul. It changes everything about you and how you interact with others. You are never the same having survived it. In its wake, you question everything you ever thought you knew. You wonder what's wrong with you. You believe you aren't worth loving. You doubt yourself - constantly. And you learn to live with scars no one sees."



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