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Thread: IL-Laureth "Laurie" May, 29, three kids, & Destiny Gruba, 17, Aurora, 15 Feb 2012 -#3

  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_comfort View Post
    Well, I am glad to eat crow, as I said I would be if this happened.

    I really did not believe they were out there. I can't even imagine the level of selfishness this would require.

    Thank you, God, for keeping them safe... especially the kids.
    Selfishness, maybe. Or desperation.

    I think "I would never put my family through something like that" but then I realise there were times with my ex-husband where I was thisclose to doing it. Now that I've been out of that marriage for 20 years, I realise that hey, it would have been better to just divorce him. But at the time, I was just convinced that I had to observe my marriage vows, no matter how miserable I was (and he was, as well).

    I'm relieved that my impression of SC as not being a murderer was accurate. You shook me a couple times there, southern comfort!

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amster View Post
    Maybe D's MOTHER has talked to her and knows what D wants and doesn't want?

    D's mom is communicating with the sheriff. I don't believe she has spoken directly to D yet.
    We have nothing indicating the two have spoken.

    We don't even have information D has signed the consent to be returned to her family in Illinois. Just that she has been found safely in Florida.
    Last edited by Cubby; 03-20-2012 at 02:55 PM. Reason: add for clarification.
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  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by cluciano63 View Post
    Why would they be taken into custody if it was all perfectly okay for LM to have done this? Just wondering...
    I'm not a lawyer but I have a guess:

    The protective order SC took out against LM specifying that the children be returned to his custody is being enforced.

    But the articles specify there are no charges pending from the Aurora PD. No mention of Cicero yet.

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  7. #54
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    Also wonder how recent the tip about Fl was. Maybe they had been in contact with someone? I know early on it was suggested, I even mention it in regards to Daytona.

    I also wonder how long they've been down here? Not too far from me I may add...lol.

    I was somewhat chuckling when Cubby was following white Volvo's, I should have been doing the same thing in hindsight!

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  9. #55
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    I feel like I missed a huge part of this case. Did D leave a note or something claiming she was leaving to get away from her family? Because she was gay and they were not accepting her? Is that why so many are terrified of her returning to her family instead of being on the run with an ex teacher? An ex teacher who seems to be not very stable? Who was fired because of inappropriate conduct with D? What about the 3 little boys? Sorry. I'm not understanding all of this animosity and second guessing of D's family and the heroine status being bestowed on LM.
    IMO

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
    I think LM will be ok. She has a tough road ahead of her, but it's very obvious she has a lot of support around her. It will take her a little while to open up to that support, but I think she will.

    I'm very very worried for D. Not that I don't believe she has a very loving family, it's clear she does. I just don't know that they don't have tunnel vision and may choose to remain in the dark about what caused her to make the decision to leave. If that's the case, I fear it won't be long until she has a thread of her own. I pray I am wrong and the family is so overjoyed she's been found they just aren't thinking clearly right now.
    bbm

    Remember Cubby... they don't believe she made a decision.
    They said, they don't think she had a choice in the matter.

    So... they likely don't see an issue to resolve.
    There is no need to figure out why someone made a decision... if they didn't make a decision to begin with.

    They appear to see this as an abduction case where the child was rescued.
    They would have to accept Destiny ran away... before they could accept there was an issue that caused her to do so.

    Maybe we are wrong...
    maybe her family is right and Destiny was abducted by Laurie and held against her will.
    If that's the case I think that we will likely see charges here.

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  13. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coldpizza View Post
    Also wonder how recent the tip about Fl was. Maybe they had been in contact with someone? I know early on it was suggested, I even mention it in regards to Daytona.

    I also wonder how long they've been down here? Not too far from me I may add...lol.

    I was somewhat chuckling when Cubby was following white Volvo's, I should have been doing the same thing in hindsight!
    I was worried about Cubby. I did the same thing in looking for a red jeep Rubicon for Gail Palmgren and it can be distracting on an 8 lane street in the city!! lol

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  15. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coldpizza View Post
    Also wonder how recent the tip about Fl was. Maybe they had been in contact with someone? I know early on it was suggested, I even mention it in regards to Daytona.

    I also wonder how long they've been down here? Not too far from me I may add...lol.

    I was somewhat chuckling when Cubby was following white Volvo's, I should have been doing the same thing in hindsight!

    I was driving so fast this morning I was concerned I might get a ticket. I usually go 5 over and this car was going close to 10 over. It was hard to keep up. As the driver kept changing lanes, I kept changes lanes directly behind her to keep up. Until we caught a light and I could pull up next to her.

    There's no way she didn't know she was being followed if she caught me in the rear view mirror. Really made me wonder how many times this poor woman may have been 'chased' since this story broke. And if she knew about it, why she didn't put a sign in the back window, 'I'm not the missing mom from Aurora'.

    At least we know now, no more Chicagoland citizens with White Volvo Station wagons will think their being followed.
    Last edited by Cubby; 03-20-2012 at 03:59 PM.
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  17. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amster View Post
    I feel like I missed a huge part of this case. Did D leave a note or something claiming she was leaving to get away from her family? Because she was gay and they were not accepting her? Is that why so many are terrified of her returning to her family instead of being on the run with an ex teacher? An ex teacher who seems to be not very stable? Who was fired because of inappropriate conduct with D? What about the 3 little boys? Sorry. I'm not understanding all of this animosity and second guessing of D's family and the heroine status being bestowed on LM.
    I don't think anyone has painted LM as a heroine. Some of us could relate to her in different ways, some felt compassion towards her, we all tried to understand what was goin on with her, but no one ever said she was a heroine.

    And no one is hostile towards D's family either. Admittedly some of us have been puzzled, even disturbed by some of their statements and actions, and we have pondered the possibilities as to what made D feel like she needed to run. But again, no one has had any animosity, so far as I know.

    If you feel differently, that's fine. But what do you want the rest of us to do, exactly? Fill the threads with post after post berating LM and DG? Hate them? What is it you think we should have been posting instead of what we were?
    “Peace is not the product of terror or fear. Peace is not the silence of cemeteries. Peace is not the silent result of violent repression. Peace is the generous, tranquil contribution of all to the good of all." -Abp Oscar Romero

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    Quote Originally Posted by MsFacetious View Post
    bbm

    Remember Cubby... they don't believe she made a decision.
    They said, they don't think she had a choice in the matter.

    So... they likely don't see an issue to resolve.
    There is no need to figure out why someone made a decision... if they didn't make a decision to begin with.

    They appear to see this as an abduction case where the child was rescued.
    They would have to accept Destiny ran away... before they could accept there was an issue that caused her to do so.

    Maybe we are wrong...
    maybe her family is right and Destiny was abducted by Laurie and held against her will.
    If that's the case I think that we will likely see charges here.
    I agree except for the last sentence. D is 17 and a pretty strong young woman imo. She could have found an opportunity to get away if she wanted to.

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  21. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amster View Post
    I feel like I missed a huge part of this case. Did D leave a note or something claiming she was leaving to get away from her family? Because she was gay and they were not accepting her? Is that why so many are terrified of her returning to her family instead of being on the run with an ex teacher? An ex teacher who seems to be not very stable? Who was fired because of inappropriate conduct with D? What about the 3 little boys? Sorry. I'm not understanding all of this animosity and second guessing of D's family and the heroine status being bestowed on LM.
    It is from a combination of FB postings and speculation. DG never left a note, but some friends commented that she had come out to her friends that she was gay, but was concerned about coming out to her family. And from the FB it can be seen that her parents are very religious. They love her and miss her, but they seem to blame LM entirely for this situation. So it will be hard for DG to admit to her family that she willingly ran off, if that is what happened.

    But I agree that it seems that LM was made into a very noble, heroic soul here, and I think that was a premature assumption.
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardenlady View Post
    I don't think anyone has painted LM as a heroine. Some of us could relate to her in different ways, some felt compassion towards her, we all tried to understand what was goin on with her, but no one ever said she was a heroine.

    And no one is hostile towards D's family either. Admittedly some of us have been puzzled, even disturbed by some of their statements and actions, and we have pondered the possibilities as to what made D feel like she needed to run. But again, no one has had any animosity, so far as I know.

    If you feel differently, that's fine. But what do you want the rest of us to do, exactly? Fill the threads with post after post berating LM and DG? Hate them? What is it you think we should have been posting instead of what we were?
    I don't expect anyone to do anything.....I was asking how so many seem to know why D ran away with LM. If this is some inside info that was obtained somewhere, then fine. Just say so. I have not berated anyone or filled any of my posts with hate towards anyone. Yes, I am in the minority here with regards to LM. Sorry, that has always been allowed, here.
    IMO

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  25. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by katydid23 View Post
    It is from a combination of FB postings and speculation. DG never left a note, but some friends commented that she had come out to her friends that she was gay, but was concerned about coming out to her family. And from the FB it can be seen that her parents are very religious. They love her and miss her, but they seem to blame LM entirely for this situation. So it will be hard for DG to admit to her family that she willingly ran off, if that is what happened.

    But I agree that it seems that LM was made into a very noble, heroic soul here, and I think that was a premature assumption.
    Thank you
    IMO

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    Quote Originally Posted by MsFacetious View Post
    bbm

    Remember Cubby... they don't believe she made a decision.
    They said, they don't think she had a choice in the matter.

    So... they likely don't see an issue to resolve.
    There is no need to figure out why someone made a decision... if they didn't make a decision to begin with.

    They appear to see this as an abduction case where the child was rescued.
    They would have to accept Destiny ran away... before they could accept there was an issue that caused her to do so.

    Maybe we are wrong...
    maybe her family is right and Destiny was abducted by Laurie and held against her will.
    If that's the case I think that we will likely see charges here.
    I am not sure that you are being fair to her family. I read all of the posts on that family FB about the situation. I read many posts saying ' we are here for you, with OPEN HEARTS and OPEN ARMS, we love you forever, no questions asked, we miss so much, especially your dad, PLEASE just call to say you are okay."

    Yes, there were a few that speculated, early on, that she was taken against her will. And they asked her to try and BREAK FREE and run home.

    I can see where they were coming from. Part was denial I am sure. But also they assumed that the 29 yr old mother of three, former school teacher, who had already been warned many times to back off of their daughter, was
    the aggressive one in the relationship. They woke up one morning and found that their 17 yr old had been picked up in the middle of the night by a grown woman. Can you blame them for blaming the ADULT in this situation?

    Sure, they have to work out many issues with DG from here on out. Foremost will be her sexuality and lifestyle. But they should have been given the chance to do so WITH her, and not had her stolen away in the middle of the night. imo

    I think they should have been given more respect than we gave them here, imo. LM was being treated as a saviour of some kind, not as a predator, which she would have been seen as if she were a man. imo
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

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  28. #65
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    Thank you all for the warm welcome, and so very happy to glance at WS at work and see "Found Safe" next to their name.

    This is a wonderful forum/site, it's really inspiring to see anonymous people from all over teaming up to help people they don't even know. I look forward to being a part of this with you all

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  30. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amster View Post
    I feel like I missed a huge part of this case. Did D leave a note or something claiming she was leaving to get away from her family? Because she was gay and they were not accepting her? Is that why so many are terrified of her returning to her family instead of being on the run with an ex teacher? An ex teacher who seems to be not very stable? Who was fired because of inappropriate conduct with D? What about the 3 little boys? Sorry. I'm not understanding all of this animosity and second guessing of D's family and the heroine status being bestowed on LM.
    DG did not leave any note, so far as I know.

    She did tell various people that she was very concerned about coming out to her family because she did not think they would accept her.

    It is clear from their FB postings that they are religious, which sometimes (not always) correlates with intolerance of GLBT people.

    I don't think anyone here saw LM as a heroine but I believe that there were several posts (mine included) trying to point out that DG may view LM as a heroine or role model. If so, then denouncing LM would not be effective at getting DG to decide to come back voluntarily.

    There were several people here who have had experience with run away teens who tried to point out that there are generally two problems: one) get the teen back safely and two) fix whatever it was in the family dynamic that made the kid unhappy enough to leave in the first place. If the source of their unhappiness is not resolved, they are at high risk for running away again.

    So far no one has come up with an example of a teenager who was happy at home running away. Oddly enough, it seems like teenagers who run are not happy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amster View Post
    I don't expect anyone to do anything.....I was asking how so many seem to know why D ran away with LM. If this is some inside info that was obtained somewhere, then fine. Just say so. I have not berated anyone or filled any of my posts with hate towards anyone. Yes, I am in the minority here with regards to LM. Sorry, that has always been allowed, here.
    The information was posted by someone who knows DG personally. I've no doubt the posts are still available.

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    I don't know what happened yet but another case I have been keeping an eye on from the beginning and thank god they were found safe. I was so worried about those kids! (Going read now to catch up).
    PJ

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    I think it's unfortunate that assumptions are being made and opinions formed about DG's family (or LM's, for that matter) when, in reality, we simply have no idea what was going on with DG, her family, or anybody else's. Sentences here and there on FB can so easily get blown out of proportion, or become the focus when there might be lots of other things happening. I see that in a lot of cases, of course, but for me it reached an almost disturbing level in this one. I started just skimming posts because of that. I guess I just don't understand how anyone can jump from Point A to Point B so quickly, when we have next to no information. I guess I don't make a very good sleuth.

    At any rate, while I'd be interested to know some factual information about their disappearance itself (did they go straight to Florida, what else did they do that first night, were they aware of activities going on to find them, etc.), I hope that speculation and judgment dies down now. Unless, of course, charges of some sort are filed. That would make for a different scenario and 'need to know'.
    Last edited by MarthaM; 03-20-2012 at 05:16 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GrainneDhu View Post
    The information was posted by someone who knows DG personally. I've no doubt the posts are still available.
    If DG was concerned about telling her parents about her sexual orientation, then what kind of "friend" would out her on a public message board??? Good grief!
    IMO

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    I was SO SO happy to see this updated to FOUND SAFE!! Thank Goodness! I am so glad those precious little boys are going back home, a life on the run is no place for toddlers. I also am extremely pleased that Destiny will get a chance to hopefully talk to and reunite with her family, because they do seem to really love her.
    "Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone."

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    So happy that they are safe and I am wishing them the best. Even though I don't know them, I really hope that everything will work out okay when they get back.

    So, were they staying with DG's relatives, or were the living out of the car? still not sure how they pulled it off, but I guess I am just pretty naive about things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amster View Post
    If DG was concerned about telling her parents about her sexual orientation, then what kind of "friend" would out her on a public message board??? Good grief!
    Also, there would be no reason for any of us to know of it, if she had simply left her family a note that she was leaving for a while. In fact, a note from either of them would have precluded them from even having had a thread here...
    Just my opinion, of course.

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  45. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by katydid23 View Post
    I am not sure that you are being fair to her family. I read all of the posts on that family FB about the situation. I read many posts saying ' we are here for you, with OPEN HEARTS and OPEN ARMS, we love you forever, no questions asked, we miss so much, especially your dad, PLEASE just call to say you are okay."

    Yes, there were a few that speculated, early on, that she was taken against her will. And they asked her to try and BREAK FREE and run home.

    I can see where they were coming from. Part was denial I am sure. But also they assumed that the 29 yr old mother of three, former school teacher, who had already been warned many times to back off of their daughter, was
    the aggressive one in the relationship. They woke up one morning and found that their 17 yr old had been picked up in the middle of the night by a grown woman. Can you blame them for blaming the ADULT in this situation?

    Sure, they have to work out many issues with DG from here on out. Foremost will be her sexuality and lifestyle. But they should have been given the chance to do so WITH her, and not had her stolen away in the middle of the night. imo

    I think they should have been given more respect than we gave them here, imo. LM was being treated as a saviour of some kind, not as a predator, which she would have been seen as if she were a man. imo
    Absolutely, if this were a male teacher / lover who took a former student 17 years of age, there would have been massive outrage at an adult predator stealing what remained of a teen's young years. No question.

    I get the part about empathizing with the issue of this minor's sexuality, but this issue got confused with the issue of an adult "person of authority" taking a minor away from her home and parents. Not ok. By any stretch.

    I hope LM loses her teaching license for life and is banned from working with youth at all in any capacity. Predators don't usually change. It is an issue of immaturity and often personality disorder. I don't even believe alcoholism can excuse it. I've known a few alcoholics who were either counselors or teachers and they knew better than to cross boundaries like this!

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    SO relieved to see they were all found safe. Thank goodness. Thank goodness.

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