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Thread: IL-Laureth "Laurie" May, 29, three kids, & Destiny Gruba, 17, Aurora, 15 Feb 2012 -#3

  1. #76
    Quote Originally Posted by GrainneDhu View Post
    Selfishness, maybe. Or desperation.

    I think "I would never put my family through something like that" but then I realise there were times with my ex-husband where I was thisclose to doing it. Now that I've been out of that marriage for 20 years, I realise that hey, it would have been better to just divorce him. But at the time, I was just convinced that I had to observe my marriage vows, no matter how miserable I was (and he was, as well).

    I'm relieved that my impression of SC as not being a murderer was accurate. You shook me a couple times there, southern comfort!
    I can get my mind around crazy/evil more easily than I can get it around plain old crazy.
    If I can stop one heart from breaking,
    I shall not live in vain;
    If I can ease one life the aching,
    Or cool one pain,
    Or help one fainting robin
    Unto his nest again,
    I shall not live in vain.
    ~Emily Dickinson~

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  3. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneLove View Post
    Absolutely, if this were a male teacher / lover who took a former student 17 years of age, there would have been massive outrage at an adult predator stealing what remained of a teen's young years. No question.

    I get the part about empathizing with the issue of this minor's sexuality, but this issue got confused with the issue of an adult "person of authority" taking a minor away from her home and parents. Not ok. By any stretch.

    I hope LM loses her teaching license for life and is banned from working with youth at all in any capacity. Predators don't usually change. It is an issue of immaturity and often personality disorder. I don't even believe alcoholism can excuse it. I've known a few alcoholics who were either counselors or teachers and they knew better than to cross boundaries like this!
    I was going to refrain from this slamming of LM when she has NOT been charged with a crime. It's a witch hunt.

    I am in recovery. I would HATE for any addict, of any substance to read these words. Addiction DOES NOT define someone. Each persons situation is individual. MURDERERS get released after doing their time and are free to again become a productive member of society. So is LM, who HAS NOT been charged by a crime.

    I'm actually amazed at some of the things I have learned and seen in recovery. In some cases, I can see with all honestly I have seen recovering heroin addicts make better decisions and be less accusational as I have seen some of the judgement posted here.

    We DO not know the circumstances for which EITHER made this decision.

    It's good to know not everyone defines a persons lifetime by a single event which occured in their life.

    That said, I'll give myself a to. BB another time.
    ~JMO~

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  5. #78
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    This video states they were arrested. ?? Alcohol or drugs found??? IDK?

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/l...,6816125.story

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
    I was going to refrain from this slamming of LM when she has NOT been charged with a crime. It's a witch hunt.

    I am in recovery. I would HATE for any addict, of any substance to read these words. Addiction DOES NOT define someone. Each persons situation is individual. MURDERERS get released after doing their time and are free to again become a productive member of society. So is LM, who HAS NOT been charged by a crime.

    I'm actually amazed at some of the things I have learned and seen in recovery. In some cases, I can see with all honestly I have seen recovering heroin addicts make better decisions and be less accusational as I have seen some of the judgement posted here.

    We DO not know the circumstances for which EITHER made this decision.

    It's good to know not everyone defines a persons lifetime by a single event which occured in their life.

    That said, I'll give myself a to. BB another time.
    Cubby, I truly am sorry this set off some triggers for you. My post was actually making the point that when a person chooses a career in the category of "the helping professions", whether it be ministry, counseling, sports leadership, teaching, medicine, etc, responsibilities are carefully defined. All people in these professions receive training specifically dealing with APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES and their responsibilities and limitations according to both the ethics of the profession AND letter of the law. I know this because i TAUGHT these workshops for these professionals. These people are all "mandated reporters" for not just abuse, but even just a SUSPICION of abuse or neglect. After reporting, it is up to the responsible agency to determine whether that suspicion is verified or not.

    We do not need to know any more than we already know in this case to know that those ethics were breached. My post was really not at ALL about addiction, it was about inappropriate behavior combined with position of authority with minors.

    But since the issue of addiction is on the table, lets consider that a "mistake" under the influence shouldn't derail a career choice for a person in a position to do great harm to vulnerable people. So a priest who sexually abuses children should be given repeat opportunities? A nurse who steals a child's cancer meds rather than administering them should be allowed to treat other children? A sports coach who buys alcohol for the team while on away games should be given other teams to travel with? A teacher who seduces high school students and travels across country with them without notifying ANYONE that they are even still ALIVE should be given the opportunity to do this yet again? All these people should be set loose on another set of totally innocent and unsuspecting people and another set of victims created? And for how many times do we repeat the cycle with 'more chances' BECAUSE they have an addiction problem? Because we wouldn't excuse it at ALL without an addiction issue.

    If I found out a priest or ANYONE that abused and messed up my child had a KNOWN history of this and my child was used as "another chance" just because that person happened ALSO to have an addiction problem that was used to excuse the behavior, I would be temporarily insane while I took care of the problem.

    I love dearly and have great respect for more than a handful of people in my personal life, both friends and family, who deal with the addictive monkey as a way of life. But I do not hand over to them the responsibility for my very young and very elderly loved ones' safety, welfare, and equilibrium. It is a choice, as a parent and as an elder caregiver, that I am responsible for making. If that choice were removed from me by denying me the TRUTH of the problem and the history of misconduct, I would be enraged. Seriously.

    These are serious positions, positions of authority, people's lives and futures are in these people's hands, and great harm can be done, lives can be lost, and the turmoil and confusion it sets up within a young person can take a lifetime to sort out, if at all. This is why there are professional standards in place that INSURE absolutely that they KNOW the boundaries and the penalties for ignoring them.

    There are lots of professions for people who do not want to honor the ethics of the teaching and helping professions, no shortages of choices here.

    I hope you won't take this personally. I am for us, for you, for your children, and for our collective good futures and higher good for everyone. I just don't see this career field for this person being a good choice for our children's highest good. It really DOES take a village and we need to ALL be watching out for everyone, ESPECIALLY our most vulnerable.
    Last edited by OneLove; 03-21-2012 at 12:50 AM.

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    “This was the best day of my life,” Collins said Tuesday, as he packed clothes for the children.

    ------------------

    Collins said he had not talked to his fiance or any of the boys yet.
    He was planning to fly down Tuesday and pick up the boys. He said he will sort out his relationship with May later.

    http://beaconnews.suntimes.com/news/...n-florida.html

    Quote Originally Posted by hollyblue View Post
    This video states they were arrested. ?? Alcohol or drugs found??? IDK?

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/l...,6816125.story
    I'm not sure if this reporter got different information but the statement has been that "all 5 were taken into custody."
    I think it's possible that the reporter is assuming Laurie had to be arrested, otherwise how could they detain them?

    As far as I know we only have the "in custody" statement.
    Which we also hear in regards to kids being "taken into protective custody."
    I also don't see an arrest for either one. So... I don't think we know for sure.

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  11. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneLove View Post
    Cubby, I truly am sorry this set off some triggers for you. My post was actually making the point that when a person chooses a career in the category of "the helping professions", whether it be ministry, counseling, sports leadership, teaching, medicine, etc, responsibilities are carefully defined. All people in these professions receive training specifically dealing with APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES and their responsibilities and limitations according to both the ethics of the profession AND letter of the law. I know this because i TAUGHT these workshops for these professionals. These people are all "mandated reporters" for not just abuse, but even just a SUSPICION of abuse or neglect. After reporting, it is up to the responsible agency to determine whether that suspicion is verified or not.

    We do not need to know any more than we already know in this case to know that those ethics were breached. My post was really not at ALL about addiction, it was about inappropriate behavior combined with position of authority with minors.

    But since the issue of addiction is on the table, lets consider that a "mistake" under the influence shouldn't derail a career choice for a person in a position to do great harm to vulnerable people. So a priest who sexually abuses children should be given repeat opportunities? A nurse who steals a child's cancer meds rather than administering them should be allowed to treat other children? A sports coach who buys alcohol for the team while on away games should be given other teams to travel with? A teacher who seduces high school students and travels across country with them without notifying ANYONE that they are even still ALIVE should be given the opportunity to do this yet again? All these people should be set loose on another set of totally innocent and unsuspecting people and another set of victims created? And for how many times do we repeat the cycle with 'more chances' BECAUSE they have an addiction problem? Because we wouldn't excuse it at ALL without an addiction issue.

    If I found out a priest or ANYONE that abused and messed up my child had a KNOWN history of this and my child was used as "another chance" just because that person happened ALSO to have an addiction problem that was used to excuse the behavior, I would be temporarily insane while I took care of the problem.

    I love dearly and have great respect for more than a handful of people in my personal life, both friends and family, who deal with the addictive monkey as a way of life. But I do not hand over to them the responsibility for my very young and very elderly loved ones' safety, welfare, and equilibrium. It is a choice, as a parent and as an elder caregiver, that I am responsible for making. If that choice were removed from me by denying me the TRUTH of the problem and the history of misconduct, I would be enraged. Seriously.

    These are serious positions, positions of authority, people's lives and futures are in these people's hands, and great harm can be done, lives can be lost, and the turmoil and confusion it sets up within a young person can take a lifetime to sort out, if at all. This is why there are professional standards in place that INSURE absolutely that they KNOW the boundaries and the penalties for ignoring them.

    There are lots of professions for people who do not want to honor the ethics of the teaching and helping professions, no shortages of choices here.

    I hope you won't take this personally. I am for us, for you, for your children, and for our collective good futures and higher good for everyone. I just don't see this career field for this person being a good choice for our children's highest good. It really DOES take a village and we need to ALL be watching out for everyone, ESPECIALLY our most vulnerable.
    No, I don't take it personally. I will say the above post does not justify, imo, your labeling LM as a predator when she has not been charged with a crime.

    I will say based on your post above, it is a good thing the word 'anonymous' is in any recovery program. Because in reality, you don't know if the pediatrician treating your children, the orthodontist working on your children, any medical or professional of any kind providing services to yourself or any family member is and has been succesful in their recovery. Whether that be addiction or a mental health issue.

    I happen to know a few who had their own medical practise for decades. Not an incident with a patient.
    I'm glad they weren't defined by previous events in their life.

    I wish nothing but the best for LM and those who love her, along with DG and those who love her.

    This 'debate' of any of the players has played it's hand. It's now time for LE and any other agencies involved to take care of it in the best way they deem appropriate.

    Glad they're home safely and will have the opportunity to rebuild their lives.
    ~JMO~

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
    No, I don't take it personally. I will say the above post does not justify, imo, your labeling LM as a predator when she has not been charged with a crime.

    I will say based on your post above, it is a good thing the word 'anonymous' is in any recovery program. Because in reality, you don't know if the pediatrician treating your children, the orthodontist working on your children, any medical or professional of any kind providing services to yourself or any family member is and has been succesful in their recovery. Whether that be addiction or a mental health issue.

    I happen to know a few who had their own medical practise for decades. Not an incident with a patient.
    I'm glad they weren't defined by previous events in their life.

    I wish nothing but the best for LM and those who love her, along with DG and those who love her.

    This 'debate' of any of the players has played it's hand. It's now time for LE and any other agencies involved to take care of it in the best way they deem appropriate.

    Glad they're home safely and will have the opportunity to rebuild their lives.
    I don't think one needs to be charged with a crime to be called a predator. It may seem like a harsh term, and I hesitate using it. However, I used it in the sense that , imo, she preyed upon a younger, less experienced student of hers, a minor who she had authority over, and drove to her home in the middle of the night and snuck her out, without telling her parents, and drove her out of state, hiding away for a month. And I think she did it for her own needs and desires as much as for DG's. That is just my opinion. But she was willing to lose her job, her future marriage, and maybe even the custody of her children, to run away with this teen.

    And I do not think you can say she is being judged by 'one event' in her life. It would be one event of she picked her up that night, stayed away for a day and then they all returned home. But being hidden away for a month is more than 'one event' in a person's life. imo
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

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    I haven't seen anything that indicates in any concrete way that LM has either an addiction or a psychological disorder. For all we know, she just may be one of those people who has poor judgment and makes really really unfortunate choices. She has a lot of company; there are zillions of people who do that.

    I also think that there are some careers and some individuals who aren't a good match for each other. Whether LM and the education field go together remains to be seen; it's not my call.

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    God is good. This is the second thread, maybe third, that I have come across with results that those that care can carry on with.

    Wow, I'm a bit taken back.

    I gave myself a time limit here today, but I will have to break it to read all this news.
    "What the thinker thinks, the Prover proves". - Robert Anton Wilson

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    I went to a conference many, many years ago on the topic of suicide and suicide prevention (professional conference related to my job at the time).

    All the speakers were really good and I wish I could remember which one made an observation that has stuck with me for all these years: that two suicidal people in a relationship tend to pull each other further down but three suicidal people in a relationship tend to pull each other up.

    It was given as a rule of thumb for judging whether the social network of a suicidal person was likely to increase or decrease the risk of suicide. It's not an absolute and there are many variables that can make it not apply to specific people but as a general rule of thumb, it's pretty good in my experience.

    Also strictly within my own experience, I have noticed that it seems to be true for more than just the issue of suicide; it often seems to apply to people with many different mental and/or emotional issues.

    Now I wonder if the pair effect was part of what happened with LM and DG.

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  21. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneLove View Post
    Cubby, I truly am sorry this set off some triggers for you. My post was actually making the point that when a person chooses a career in the category of "the helping professions", whether it be ministry, counseling, sports leadership, teaching, medicine, etc, responsibilities are carefully defined. All people in these professions receive training specifically dealing with APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES and their responsibilities and limitations according to both the ethics of the profession AND letter of the law. I know this because i TAUGHT these workshops for these professionals. These people are all "mandated reporters" for not just abuse, but even just a SUSPICION of abuse or neglect. After reporting, it is up to the responsible agency to determine whether that suspicion is verified or not.

    We do not need to know any more than we already know in this case to know that those ethics were breached. My post was really not at ALL about addiction, it was about inappropriate behavior combined with position of authority with minors.

    But since the issue of addiction is on the table, lets consider that a "mistake" under the influence shouldn't derail a career choice for a person in a position to do great harm to vulnerable people. So a priest who sexually abuses children should be given repeat opportunities? A nurse who steals a child's cancer meds rather than administering them should be allowed to treat other children? A sports coach who buys alcohol for the team while on away games should be given other teams to travel with? A teacher who seduces high school students and travels across country with them without notifying ANYONE that they are even still ALIVE should be given the opportunity to do this yet again? All these people should be set loose on another set of totally innocent and unsuspecting people and another set of victims created? And for how many times do we repeat the cycle with 'more chances' BECAUSE they have an addiction problem? Because we wouldn't excuse it at ALL without an addiction issue.

    If I found out a priest or ANYONE that abused and messed up my child had a KNOWN history of this and my child was used as "another chance" just because that person happened ALSO to have an addiction problem that was used to excuse the behavior, I would be temporarily insane while I took care of the problem.

    I love dearly and have great respect for more than a handful of people in my personal life, both friends and family, who deal with the addictive monkey as a way of life. But I do not hand over to them the responsibility for my very young and very elderly loved ones' safety, welfare, and equilibrium. It is a choice, as a parent and as an elder caregiver, that I am responsible for making. If that choice were removed from me by denying me the TRUTH of the problem and the history of misconduct, I would be enraged. Seriously.

    These are serious positions, positions of authority, people's lives and futures are in these people's hands, and great harm can be done, lives can be lost, and the turmoil and confusion it sets up within a young person can take a lifetime to sort out, if at all. This is why there are professional standards in place that INSURE absolutely that they KNOW the boundaries and the penalties for ignoring them.

    There are lots of professions for people who do not want to honor the ethics of the teaching and helping professions, no shortages of choices here.

    I hope you won't take this personally. I am for us, for you, for your children, and for our collective good futures and higher good for everyone. I just don't see this career field for this person being a good choice for our children's highest good. It really DOES take a village and we need to ALL be watching out for everyone, ESPECIALLY our most vulnerable.
    Great post One Love.

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  23. #87
    For goodness' sake... it's not like LM is a pedophile. Not even remotely close!

    I keep starting posts, and then deleting them, because we still really have no inkling what what on behind the scenes. Each fact pattern we toss around is hypothetical, and so the analysis we base upon it and the conclusions we draw are of limited value.

    I have my own ideas about what probably happened. It involves a mixture of love, selfishness (which - ironically! - often accompanies love, I've noticed), and bad judgment. I've been using the recent case of the 41 year old teacher and the student who left school to move in with him as quality control, to make sure I'm not guilty of gender discrimination. And I'm not.

    I don't consider L a predator. I just wish they hadn't run away. That part disturbs me.
    If I can stop one heart from breaking,
    I shall not live in vain;
    If I can ease one life the aching,
    Or cool one pain,
    Or help one fainting robin
    Unto his nest again,
    I shall not live in vain.
    ~Emily Dickinson~

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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_comfort View Post
    For goodness' sake... it's not like LM is a pedophile. Not even remotely close!

    I keep starting posts, and then deleting them, because we still really have no inkling what what on behind the scenes. Each fact pattern we toss around is hypothetical, and so the analysis we base upon it and the conclusions we draw are of limited value.

    I have my own ideas about what probably happened. It involves a mixture of love, selfishness (which - ironically! - often accompanies love, I've noticed), and bad judgment. I've been using the recent case of the 41 year old teacher and the student who left school to move in with him as quality control, to make sure I'm not guilty of gender discrimination. And I'm not.

    I don't consider L a predator. I just wish they hadn't run away. That part disturbs me.


    You know that starting and deleting posts thing you keep doing? Me too!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_comfort View Post
    For goodness' sake... it's not like LM is a pedophile. Not even remotely close!

    I keep starting posts, and then deleting them, because we still really have no inkling what what on behind the scenes. Each fact pattern we toss around is hypothetical, and so the analysis we base upon it and the conclusions we draw are of limited value.

    I have my own ideas about what probably happened. It involves a mixture of love, selfishness (which - ironically! - often accompanies love, I've noticed), and bad judgment. I've been using the recent case of the 41 year old teacher and the student who left school to move in with him as quality control, to make sure I'm not guilty of gender discrimination. And I'm not.

    I don't consider L a predator. I just wish they hadn't run away. That part disturbs me.
    I can't say I think of her as a predator, but I do see her as someone who took 4 children from their families. Even though Destiny was 17, to me that is not an adult. Maybe we will find that this was justified in some way, but it's a stretch. Whatever she was trying to do, she used very poor judgement IMO.
    Evil don't look like anything...

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    Quote Originally Posted by cluciano63 View Post
    Why would they be taken into custody if it was all perfectly okay for LM to have done this? Just wondering...
    Taken into custody doesn't necessarily mean arrested, but she is going to have to answer questions about why she was hiding out, and Destiny is going to have to confirm whether or not she went with her willingly.

    Not to mention the time and money spent on trying to find them, which they may be able to hold them responsible for. I don't think either one of them can get away with saying they didn't know anyone was looking for them. And Destiny is still a minor, so Laurie had to be aware that she was harboring a runaway. I am not familiar with the statutes, but there are probably some laws that have been broken.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amster View Post
    I feel like I missed a huge part of this case. Did D leave a note or something claiming she was leaving to get away from her family? Because she was gay and they were not accepting her? Is that why so many are terrified of her returning to her family instead of being on the run with an ex teacher? An ex teacher who seems to be not very stable? Who was fired because of inappropriate conduct with D? What about the 3 little boys? Sorry. I'm not understanding all of this animosity and second guessing of D's family and the heroine status being bestowed on LM.
    Well said, and I agree!! LM has some explaining to do, IMO. I don't care if the law says DG can't be forced to go home, she is still a minor and her mother still has more rights to her than LM does, and she deserves answers.
    The father of the little boys also deserves some answers as well and to have his sons returned to him.
    Gay rights don't mean diddly squat to me, the rights of those children should count more. This is still a situation where a lot of people were put into a state of worry and fear and dread, not knowing where they were or what happened to them. If they don't file charges on her, I will be surprised and very disappointed. What she did was wrong!

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    Quote Originally Posted by OneLove View Post
    Absolutely, if this were a male teacher / lover who took a former student 17 years of age, there would have been massive outrage at an adult predator stealing what remained of a teen's young years. No question.

    I get the part about empathizing with the issue of this minor's sexuality, but this issue got confused with the issue of an adult "person of authority" taking a minor away from her home and parents. Not ok. By any stretch.

    I hope LM loses her teaching license for life and is banned from working with youth at all in any capacity. Predators don't usually change. It is an issue of immaturity and often personality disorder. I don't even believe alcoholism can excuse it. I've known a few alcoholics who were either counselors or teachers and they knew better than to cross boundaries like this!
    I agree 100% with everything you've said!! ESP. the part I bolded.
    Just glad that they were all found safe and the little boys will be returned to their father.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
    No, I don't take it personally. I will say the above post does not justify, imo, your labeling LM as a predator when she has not been charged with a crime.

    I will say based on your post above, it is a good thing the word 'anonymous' is in any recovery program. Because in reality, you don't know if the pediatrician treating your children, the orthodontist working on your children, any medical or professional of any kind providing services to yourself or any family member is and has been succesful in their recovery. Whether that be addiction or a mental health issue.

    I happen to know a few who had their own medical practise for decades. Not an incident with a patient.
    I'm glad they weren't defined by previous events in their life.

    I wish nothing but the best for LM and those who love her, along with DG and those who love her.

    This 'debate' of any of the players has played it's hand. It's now time for LE and any other agencies involved to take care of it in the best way they deem appropriate.

    Glad they're home safely and will have the opportunity to rebuild their lives.
    I believe you and I are in agreement on a fundamental point, and because I cherish and value your opinion, I really want to try again to express what I am trying to say.

    I personally know a number of people with addiction issues, alcohol being primary but not the only substance. I cherish and love them dearly and won't reveal more here about who they are in my life. But I will say that people DO benefit from their excellent services in several healthcare related fields AND in educational fields.

    While my loved ones, both friend and family, ARE dealing with terribly difficult addiction issues, NONE of them has crossed a boundary and hurt an innocent victim IN THEIR PROFESSIONAL DUTIES, neither have they broken strongly defined ethical codes for their professions.

    It's my feeling that the loss of ability to make good judgements and commit actions that create innocent victims that suffer HARM due to those actions is the REAL ISSUE, not the addiction itself. I am in total agreement with you that whether a professional is or ever has been in 'recovery' is a private issue and not anyone's business.

    When that person begins to harm others while providing professional services, the lack of professional judgement becomes everyone's business, and it matters not one whit whether it is due to addiction or not. The harm of others during one's work is the issue.

    Harm to one's friends, family, and self is a personal issue not included at all in this consideration of professional harm.

    For example, if I send my child to a dentist, I have the right to expect that he has not been previously convicted of gassing kids and sexually assaulting them while under, and then put right back in his practice after serving his penalty. A dentist convicted of such should lose his license; whether he also has an addiction is NOT the issue. It's a professional ethical thing. Its purpose is to protect others.

    Please accept my warmest regards; your feelings mean much to me and my intent is never to hurt you.
    Last edited by OneLove; 03-21-2012 at 03:35 PM.

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  37. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_comfort View Post
    For goodness' sake... it's not like LM is a pedophile. Not even remotely close!

    I keep starting posts, and then deleting them, because we still really have no inkling what what on behind the scenes. Each fact pattern we toss around is hypothetical, and so the analysis we base upon it and the conclusions we draw are of limited value.

    I have my own ideas about what probably happened. It involves a mixture of love, selfishness (which - ironically! - often accompanies love, I've noticed), and bad judgment. I've been using the recent case of the 41 year old teacher and the student who left school to move in with him as quality control, to make sure I'm not guilty of gender discrimination. And I'm not.

    I don't consider L a predator. I just wish they hadn't run away. That part disturbs me.
    BBM

    Put yourself in DG's parents shoes. Let's say you had a kid that was in high school. And you complained because the kids art teacher was being very 'personal' and seeing your kid out side of school, calling and picking her up at home. And it got to the point that the teacher was fired for that behavior. The teacher ignored warnings and lost her job. And it did not end there, but got worse. And the teacher called your kid at 3 am, came to your home and took your kid out of state, and hid out for a month? If it was your kid, you wouldn't see that as predatory behavior? I would and I would be livid.

    ETA: I cannot imagine how angry I would be if a high school teacher of my kid would be calling at 3 am. Especially if my kid was trying to sort out their sexuality issues, and a 29 yr old teacher is deciding to 'help them' do that? By running away with them? I do not see how that is not predatory behavior?
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

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  39. #95
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  41. #96
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    From what I can garner from fb, LM's mom is with the boys and their father in FL.

    I wonder where LM is?

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  43. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coldpizza View Post
    From what I can garner from fb, LM's mom is with the boys and their father in FL.

    I wonder where LM is?
    I wonder what the courts are going to do about custody of the boys now. I bet Dad disputes her ability to have them for now.
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

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  45. #98
    Quote Originally Posted by katydid23 View Post
    BBM

    Put yourself in DG's parents shoes. Let's say you had a kid that was in high school. And you complained because the kids art teacher was being very 'personal' and seeing your kid out side of school, calling and picking her up at home. And it got to the point that the teacher was fired for that behavior. The teacher ignored warnings and lost her job. And it did not end there, but got worse. And the teacher called your kid at 3 am, came to your home and took your kid out of state, and hid out for a month? If it was your kid, you wouldn't see that as predatory behavior? I would and I would be livid.

    ETA: I cannot imagine how angry I would be if a high school teacher of my kid would be calling at 3 am. Especially if my kid was trying to sort out their sexuality issues, and a 29 yr old teacher is deciding to 'help them' do that? By running away with them? I do not see how that is not predatory behavior?
    Little Baby D is going to be a full-fledged adult in 8 short months. I guess whoever is in charge of teaching her to make decisions better ratchet it up a notch or two between now and then, because who's going to protect her then?
    Last edited by southern_comfort; 03-21-2012 at 04:43 PM. Reason: fixed typo
    If I can stop one heart from breaking,
    I shall not live in vain;
    If I can ease one life the aching,
    Or cool one pain,
    Or help one fainting robin
    Unto his nest again,
    I shall not live in vain.
    ~Emily Dickinson~

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  47. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_comfort View Post
    Little Baby D is going to be a full-fledged adult in 8 short months. I guess whoever is in charge of teaching her to make decisions better ratchet it up a notch or two between now and then, because whose going to protect her then?
    It is not about someone 'protecting' her, imo.

    It is about the relationship that a high school teacher has with her students. A 29 yr old teacher is going to be in a strong position of AUTHORITY in relation to her students. And that is precisely why many states, including GA, have made it illegal to have sexual relationships even if the student is beyond the age of consent. Because the power in the relationship is inherently off-balance.

    So, YES, DG is close to adulthood. CLOSE to it, but not there yet. And LM made many very bad choices, imo. She put DG in very bad positions. She ignored warnings and then was fired because of this relationship. How would that make DG feel I wonder? I bet she felt terrible about that. And then LM leaves a 10 yr relationship because of her, and puts her child custody on the line, just for wanting to be with DG. How much pressure would that be for DG ? I bet this was the first 'real' relationship DG was ever involved in. And it was with a 29 yr old who was putting her entire life on the line. That is selfish behavior on LM's part, imo.
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

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  49. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_comfort View Post
    Little Baby D is going to be a full-fledged adult in 8 short months. I guess whoever is in charge of teaching her to make decisions better ratchet it up a notch or two between now and then, because whose going to protect her then?
    BBM

    Also, who would that be that was supposed to TEACH HER to make decisions? Maybe her mentor and TEACHER? Was her 'teacher' helping her make better decisions by calling her at 3 am and asking her to run away from school and graduation and college and her entire family?

    I really don't think that slamming her parents in this case is fair. And what about my original question---how you might feel if it was your teen who answered a 3 am call from her teacher and ran off for a month. Would you think the teacher was using good judgment?
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

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