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Thread: Adults can be victims of bullying - especially cyberbullying, too!

  1. #1
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    Adults can be victims of bullying - especially cyberbullying, too!

    Websleuthers can be victims of bullying, too.

    There is a woman, who doesn't know me, nor I know her (although I know exactly who she is and where she lives), who thinks she knows who I really am. She is a staunch supporter of a woman currently on trial in AZ in connection with a missing baby.

    She has been claiming on Facebook for a couple of years now that I am a certain person on Facebook with whom she disagrees. She eggs people on that I should be sued for what this woman I have been identified as on FB says.

    I do not have a FB account - I have heard about the woman's rants from friends who have access to her FB page. I don't know why she has it in her head that this other woman and I are the same person, but when she first started the rants on a public support for the woman on trial in AZ FB page, a couple of Websleuthers refused to talk to me anymore because of who they thought I was.

    This woman who keeps misidentifying me takes such a holier than thou attitude, even though AZ & CA court records show she's been arrested with her son (although charges against her for stealing an auto were later dropped, but the son went to jail for lesser charges) and has had several restraining orders filed against her (and her son and daughter) by other people who have had issues with her and her family.

    She accuses me of being a bully because of what the woman I was identified as says, but she is the bully in this situation. I haven't said or done anything to deserve what she says about me, and like I said, I don't even have a FB account (which I would be happy to show LE my computers to prove), so I don't know why she continues her attacks.

    And even though I'm an adult, bullying still hurts at any age!

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  3. #2
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    I am sorry you have become a victim of overzealous and erroneous sleuthing by some anonymous internet vigilante.

    This is becoming more and more the norm, sadly. People seem to find it so easy to accuse, slander, besmirch, harass and bully others via the net. I have been disturbed lately to see the alleged "adults" who follow crime sink lower and lower on FB, blogs, etc. to engage in the most outrageous behaviors imaginable.

    If someone takes this person's advice and attempts to sue you in a mistaken attempt to sue the person your bully is fixated on then that is one thing. You may be required to prove up that you are not the individual that your cyberbully claims you are.

    Til then I urge you not to invest your own emotional energies into what this person is posting abut you. Do not bother to have friends check up on facebook what is being said about you. Do not allow this bully to drag you into whatever crazy online mess he or she has embroiled him or herself in.

    I know how hurtful it is and I wish there were some easy answer to the position you find yourself in. Alas, the internet is not policed and the normal socially acceptable rules of behavior seem not to apply to those who choose to seek drama via internet wars.

    hang in there. your friends will continue to be your friends and those who choose not to be anymore based on faceless accusations and inaccurate info probably were not that close a friend anyway.
    If no link is provided it's a good bet it's simply

    Those who try to bring you down are already beneath you.

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  5. #3
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    Sounds like the woman has some major issues of her own. Interesting you mentioned she and her son have been arrested. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

    I am noticing many more adult cyberbullies. Well, there are the infamous ones like Lori Drew or Jennifer Petkov. Here is the profile I have noticed with them.
    In Mid 30s or Older
    Married
    Have Children Of Own
    Immature
    Possibly Target of Abuse and/or Bullying When Younger




    HMS Hood
    Mighty Hood
    Pennant Number: 51
    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
    May 15, 1920-May 24, 1941

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    How awful. That's why I am so grateful for Websleuths and all the mods and owner who allow us to express individual opinions and keep posters from attacking posters. I made the huge mistake recently of posting my opinion about the Trayvon Martin case on another site (non crime related forum, but still discussing this issue), and several members and even the owner started insulting and making terrible assumptions along with some name calling. I responded that I was only responding to the linked news article and not any posters then got out of there. Thank goodness it wasn't facebook where some stalking could have started. It sounds like you're being bullied but also kind of cyber stalked as well, at least on facebook.

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  9. #5
    Adults can be victims of bullying especially if you are a smoker!

    Soo many bullies out there. I know from experiance.

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  11. #6
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    I've had a brush with a cyber bully. He was a sex offender who wanted to be on the fire dept. Well I don't believe that sex offenders should be first responders. Sorry but when you call 911 for help, you don't expect to get a pervert to respond.

    So I openly objected to him being a member of the fire dept. He called me a liar and I produced the proof that proved he was indeed what I said he was. He tried to have me arrested for slander but it isn't slander if it is true and a part of public records.

    He even posted my late fiance's obituary in an online forum in a lame attempt to show me that he could dig into my past. What dirt did he dig up on me? He discovered that I was a kindergarten teacher and engaged to a firefighter who died. That hardly compares to his felony conviction for luring a young girl to his house and molesting her as she slept in a bed by his stepdaughter.

    Some people are just morons!
    SwampMama

    GUILTY!!!

    Cyrus C. convicted of 2004 arson in Harvey, La. that killed 4 people, including his 19-month-old daughter, his teenage girlfriend, the girlfriend's mom and GF's young brother (age 11). He was acquitted in 2008 (state charges) in 2008 and found GUILTY (federal charges) in 2013

    http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/...d_of_2004.html

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  13. #7
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    Yup, I've met a few cyberbullies. They are funny to me, even funnier after I identify who they really are, and have my attorney send them a cease and desist letter to their homes, addressed in their real names.

    I think bullies are fun. I recognize them for what they are, and I turn the tables. Most of them get the idea pretty quick. I'm in the process of doing that to someone now. She let a difference of opinion turn into a character assassination. Adults can be bullied, but they are only victims if they allow themselves to be. JMO.
    JMO. Unless there's a link, I can't prove it.

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  15. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by artsy1 View Post
    She has been claiming on Facebook for a couple of years now that I am a certain person on Facebook with whom she disagrees. She eggs people on that I should be sued for what this woman I have been identified as on FB says.

    Is this woman posting your REAL NAME on facebook and accusing you of things or is she just posting your nickname?

    If she is in fact using your real name I would do something about it and FAST! That stuff will be online forever! It could even impact future employment opportunities.

    If she is trashing your online alias then who cares, just ignore her.

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  17. #9
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    I completely agree with Sonya. It sounds like she's using your anonymous "handle" - and all of this is anonymous cyberspace stuff.

    I say, what goes on in cyberspace stays in cyberspace.

    You know who she is, her real life personal information, and you know the facebook friend who she thinks you are - but they don't know you at ALL, do they? So she's criticizing and harassing a made up persona of a person on cyberspace, not really you, but rather a pseudo personality you call yourself.

    I've been on message boards since they first began 20+ years ago, and from my experience, you step out of this and let it go. Life's too short to worry about this. It's a hobby, and when it becomes unpleasant, find another outlet, another case, another message board, etc.

    It's not like you will be on an errand to the grocery store and run into any of these people and have a difficult time of it.

    Best wishes.

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  19. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by not_my_kids View Post
    Yup, I've met a few cyberbullies. They are funny to me, even funnier after I identify who they really are, and have my attorney send them a cease and desist letter to their homes, addressed in their real names.

    I think bullies are fun. I recognize them for what they are, and I turn the tables. Most of them get the idea pretty quick. I'm in the process of doing that to someone now. She let a difference of opinion turn into a character assassination. Adults can be bullied, but they are only victims if they allow themselves to be. JMO.
    I agree, NMK. I'm on several FB pages re: Casey Anthony and other cases. It just gets crazy sometimes, and I've been bullied for having an opinion. I do chuckle at the time and energy some of these adults put into harassing others.

    I also never post under my real FB and use an alias for cases, as I don't need anyone to know my son, husband, or anything else. So, yah, I have 2 pages just because of the crazies out there.

    MOO

    Mel

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  21. #11
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    I have found that bosses can be some of the biggest bullies out there and make peoples lives miserable.

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  23. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Farm View Post
    I have found that bosses can be some of the biggest bullies out there and make peoples lives miserable.
    Absolutely! Especially when they have minions who help out with the bullying.
    My Twitter handle is @Lovemypupper . I had to change it due to rabid Kate Gosselin fans. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

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  25. #13
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    Many years ago after our return from a vacation in Canada, I posted an account of a bad interaction we'd had with a Caqnadian customs official at the border. This was on a blog for people wanting to vent about issues with Canada customs. I then started getting vaguely threatening emails- I'd foolishly posted with my email address showing-from a guy IDing himself as a border inspetor. He was ranting about America and Americans, told me that if I went throughn his post next time he'd arrest me and my family. Just seemed unbalanced.

    Of course I blocked him on my account- the best part was that I forwarded his rants to both the Canadian embassy in DC and also to the appropriate government office in Ottawa. I suggested that maybe he needed a talking to. I then noted he was no longer posting and never saw him again. In think lot of people get tunnel vision; they feel intensely about some issue and just forget how they may be coming across. Other than that time, I've been lucky.
    'Never stop fighting..never give up'

    Kevin Kostner as Eliott Ness in 'The Untouchables'

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  27. #14
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    And then...then there are the nutjobs of the world, who send threatening notes, and try to get people banned from sites. They constantly lie about who they are, and when they get twizzled about someone, they post up and make all sorts of nasty comments. Or send nastygrams via pm.

    This happened to me, and it was regarding my horse and a webbie I (used) to post on. Made me mad enough that I found the website that the person was posting on, joined, and spent a little time defending myself...and managed to turn some opinions around. But I haven't been in years, have no idea why these folks set up a website that bashed another website, and don't bother with any one of them any more. Me and my horses are just fine, thanks...and that's all there is to say about that.

    And it's happened on a site that wasn't the horse site, either. Got ahold of a nastygram, where this person was trying to make trouble for me, but a little open, honest discussion and the truth was known.

    And of course, there's the BO who's trying to sue me, and who can't figure out his youknowwhat from a hole in the ground, and can't figure out how to serve me. I admit that this situation has gotten under my skin a bit, basically because I have to stay aware of things, and monitor the small claims website for calendaring, so that he can't pull a fast one...

    Yeah, bullies. Just people with nothing better to do, a tad obsessive and vengeful (even if it's the wrong person, or no harm was ever done...). People like that are just flat weird and strange. I don't like being stalked (have had it happen several times in RL, and several times on-line), and I don't like being bullied.

    Best-
    Herding Cats
    Counting the days...counting the days. Still silent, still neither assenting nor agreeing...action has been initiated. Everything in it's time. First volley SERVED...

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  29. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by artsy1 View Post
    Websleuthers can be victims of bullying, too.

    There is a woman, who doesn't know me, nor I know her (although I know exactly who she is and where she lives), who thinks she knows who I really am. She is a staunch supporter of a woman currently on trial in AZ in connection with a missing baby.

    She has been claiming on Facebook for a couple of years now that I am a certain person on Facebook with whom she disagrees. She eggs people on that I should be sued for what this woman I have been identified as on FB says.

    I do not have a FB account - I have heard about the woman's rants from friends who have access to her FB page. I don't know why she has it in her head that this other woman and I are the same person, but when she first started the rants on a public support for the woman on trial in AZ FB page, a couple of Websleuthers refused to talk to me anymore because of who they thought I was.

    This woman who keeps misidentifying me takes such a holier than thou attitude, even though AZ & CA court records show she's been arrested with her son (although charges against her for stealing an auto were later dropped, but the son went to jail for lesser charges) and has had several restraining orders filed against her (and her son and daughter) by other people who have had issues with her and her family.

    She accuses me of being a bully because of what the woman I was identified as says, but she is the bully in this situation. I haven't said or done anything to deserve what she says about me, and like I said, I don't even have a FB account (which I would be happy to show LE my computers to prove), so I don't know why she continues her attacks.

    And even though I'm an adult, bullying still hurts at any age!
    how did she make an erroneous connection between your real name and a stranger's FB account?

    or is it that she reads here & decided your 'handle' here must be another person on FB?

    is the person on FB who she thinks is you involved at all? (ie; do they know what is going on or are they completely out of the loop?)

    wow, what a mess!

    I think that people who feel out of control or helpless in their real lives get some kind of ego-boost from being online bullies.

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  31. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberry View Post
    Absolutely! Especially when they have minions who help out with the bullying.
    I had a boss like that once- I was told to be a snitch, that "You never tell me what's going on in the office like others do." He finally wound up actually threatening my life. I managed to hold out another few weeks and saved all my money then got the hell out of that job.

    It was interesting what happened later; he wound up dead- age 52, heart attack. Gosh, you think his anger played a part??
    'Never stop fighting..never give up'

    Kevin Kostner as Eliott Ness in 'The Untouchables'

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  33. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snick1946 View Post
    Many years ago after our return from a vacation in Canada, I posted an account of a bad interaction we'd had with a Caqnadian customs official at the border. This was on a blog for people wanting to vent about issues with Canada customs. I then started getting vaguely threatening emails- I'd foolishly posted with my email address showing-from a guy IDing himself as a border inspetor. He was ranting about America and Americans, told me that if I went throughn his post next time he'd arrest me and my family. Just seemed unbalanced.

    Of course I blocked him on my account- the best part was that I forwarded his rants to both the Canadian embassy in DC and also to the appropriate government office in Ottawa. I suggested that maybe he needed a talking to. I then noted he was no longer posting and never saw him again. In think lot of people get tunnel vision; they feel intensely about some issue and just forget how they may be coming across. Other than that time, I've been lucky.
    There is a book written by Iain McGilchrist called The Master and His Emissary, who talks about the divided brain.
    Right-Forest (Big Picture)
    Left-Tree (Tunnel Vision)

    The left brain is becoming more dominant. It explains why we have pettiness, bureaucracies, bullying, religious fanaticism, terrorism, and genocide. Iain McGilchrist thinks the left brain is becoming more dominant nowadays.

    [ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Master_and_His_Emissary"]The Master and His Emissary - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]




    HMS Hood
    Mighty Hood
    Pennant Number: 51
    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
    May 15, 1920-May 24, 1941

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  35. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by HMSHood View Post
    There is a book written by Iain McGilchrist called The Master and His Emissary, who talks about the divided brain.
    Right-Forest (Big Picture)
    Left-Tree (Tunnel Vision)

    The left brain is becoming more dominant. It explains why we have pettiness, bureaucracies, bullying, religious fanaticism, terrorism, and genocide. Iain McGilchrist thinks the left brain is becoming more dominant nowadays.

    The Master and His Emissary - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Another way to think about right-left brain is the right brain for CONTEXT and left brain for TEXT (space-language, nonverbal-verbal, generalization-discrimination, etc.). The following so-called poems relate:

    WORDS & IMAGES
    or
    The Mind's i Inside Out
    or
    The Right Brain Speaks

    Loops interwoven into a marvelous fabric entwining the very sense of self figments of being set in due order by light the time of circumstance shaped into soul mysteriously rooting the nature of becoming deep within the seed of each wish to see words and images in secret chambers unfolding arrays in the midst of night interlocking devices of every cunning work encoded with knots on every side expressions of expectations and magical thinking memories patterned into felt desire ruminations weaving a multicolored garment bounding the space of each being's time expectations impressed by rituals social order ingrained in time exercised forms filling imagination intermingling fire with blood operants of definition and focus classically transporting all that's me alternatives marked by complexity and effect precepts balancing opportunity with risk enticing and evoking every inclination eliciting and guiding the power of will created by and creating the fit my mind's i chooses to see free spirits joined by unseen hands translating thoughts into me.

    scroll down






    WORDS & IMAGES
    or
    The Mind's i Outside In
    or
    The Left Brain Answers

    Loops interwoven into a marvelous fabric
    Entwining the very sense of self.
    Figments of being set in due order by light
    The time of circumstance shaped into soul.
    Mysteriously rooting the nature of becoming
    Deep within the seed of each wish to see.
    Words and images in secret chambers
    Unfolding arrays in the midst of night.
    Interlocking devices of every cunning work
    Encoded with knots on every side.
    Expressions of expectations and magical thinking
    Memories patterned into felt desire.
    Ruminations weaving a multicolored garment
    Bounding the space of each being's time.
    Expectations impressed by rituals
    Social order ingrained in time.
    Exercised forms filling imagination
    Intermingling fire with blood.
    Operants of definition and focus
    Classically transporting all that's me.
    Alternatives marked by complexity and effect
    Precepts balancing opportunity with risk.
    Enticing and evoking every inclination
    Eliciting and guiding the power of will.
    Created by and creating
    The fit my mind's i chooses to see.
    Free spirits joined by unseen hands
    Translating thoughts into me.

    Russell
    Even chaos is well patterned.

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  37. #19
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    http://teenadvice.about.com/od/viole...irlbullies.htm This is a good read and something that applies to grown women as well as teen girls. I hate the gang up and bully mentality. If you've got a bone to pick or point to prove, do it in a respectful manner, because if you do it in a ganged up kind of way, you just end up looking like a messy, immature teenager. I've dealt with bullying against my daughters and have no tolerance for these tactics.

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  39. #20
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    I had to resign from at least two jobs because of on the job bullying. Sickening.

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