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Thread: TN - Joann Bain, 14 y.o. daughter deceased; *2 missing girls FOUND*, *AM dead* -#5

  1. #951
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    Quote Originally Posted by animallvr View Post
    You didn't offend me! I probably worry too much that someone might get their feelings hurt by what someone says or does and I guess I shouldn't be that way. I think we all get "in the moment" and just want to defend what we think is right and don't realize it how it sounds. I know I have in the past. I think it is great that everyone has different opinions, you could never figure something out if you aren't open to all opinions!!!!

    I definitely want to hear what you think though, you sound very very smart! Thanks!
    Well I never want to hurt someone's feelings here or anywhere but I definitely do get caught up in the moment and have very strong feelings of right and wrong, as I imagine we all do.

    I think we all draw from our past and I think that's where this is catching up with me.
    I have helped out an attorney friend with people to try and help through difficult life situations. I have tried to guide many people in custody, family, divorce situations that aren't easy to go through.
    I've seen families that have a falling out and when the chips are down come gunning for the ones that are down and out at the time causing more pain and suffering.
    I've known people that have given their parental rights up because they didn't want to pay for their children after they split with the other parent. That one always burns my hide, not that I've been personally through it, but I have seen it many times. Now it's happening in my family and as I've acknowledged it earlier on here, I'm sure that's where at least part of my distaste for MJ comes from.
    I've never had trouble with LE so I tend to always give them the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand I have seen the justice system and how it really works sometimes in the county I live in and the ones near me and am truly disappointed and not very trusting that it all plays out the way it should at times.

    I agree about the varying opinions. I have always felt it allows me to grow to hear all points instead of just being caught in my own. I always love a good discussion and truly never mean to be rude but know I am very strong at voicing my opinion at times. Again, if that offends someone or makes anyone feel attacked, I do apologize because that is not my intention.

    MOO
    Last edited by menmo; 05-24-2012 at 10:21 PM. Reason: changed "them" to "their children"

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  3. #952
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    Quote Originally Posted by menmo View Post
    Well I never want to hurt someone's feelings here or anywhere but I definitely do get caught up in the moment and have very strong feelings of right and wrong, as I imagine we all do.

    I think we all draw from our past and I think that's where this is catching up with me.
    I have helped out an attorney friend with people to try and help through difficult life situations. I have tried to guide many people in custody, family, divorce situations that aren't easy to go through.
    I've seen families that have a falling out and when the chips are down come gunning for the ones that are down and out at the time causing more pain and suffering.
    I've known people that have given their parental rights up because they didn't want to pay for them after they split with the other parent. That one always burns my hide, not that I've been personally through it, but I have seen it many times. Now it's happening in my family and as I've acknowledged it earlier on here, I'm sure that's where at least part of my distaste for MJ comes from.
    I've never had trouble with LE so I tend to always give them the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand I have seen the justice system and how it really works sometimes in the county I live in and the ones near me and am truly disappointed and not very trusting that it all plays out the way it should at times.

    I agree about the varying opinions. I have always felt it allows me to grow to hear all points instead of just being caught in my own. I always love a good discussion and truly never mean to be rude but know I am very strong at voicing it at times. Again, if that offends someone or makes anyone feel attacked, I do apologize because that is not my intention.

    MOO

    I do think, though, it is good to be passionate about what you believe instead of being wishy-washy. You are right, we are the product of our past and what has happened to you. That blinds me too sometimes, things I feel so strong about because of something in the past makes me not be open to other things.

    Thank you menmo!!

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  5. #953
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    Quote Originally Posted by GrainneDhu View Post
    soyesterday, I was raped by my junior high school guidance counsellor when I was 12 years old. Like you, I didn't tell anyone for many years. It's a long, complicated story.

    I'm a good 20 years older than you and I'm here to tell you that it does get better. It doesn't have to remain a burden and a horror forever.

    When I was a teen, I read what little I could find about what happens to rape victims. At that time, the literature was full of dire predictions and it looked like I was doomed to live a life of depression, substance abuse, never be able to have a normal relationship with a man, etc.

    I wish so much that I could go back and tell my teen self "don't believe everything you read! They don't know everything and they don't know you! It will be a long, strange road but it will be a good life, with more joy than suffering."

    I can't do that but I can tell you: it is possible to move on. It is possible to be happy. It isn't a life sentence of doom.
    Thank you for sharing.
    And i'm so sorry for what happened to you.
    I have to keep believing that it does get better.
    I have a family to take care of.
    I just hope i don't wake up one day and realize how much i've screwed up my life and it's too late.
    Thank you again. <3
    I sat there for the longest time
    after you were gone....
    thinking about all things we said.....
    and all the things we didn't say...
    I wonder if you misunderstood,
    cause I'm no good when it comes to talking....
    And I'm sorry,I didn't know the words.......
    to make you stay.

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  7. #954
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    Quote Originally Posted by soyesterday View Post
    Thank you for sharing.
    And i'm so sorry for what happened to you.
    I have to keep believing that it does get better.
    I have a family to take care of.
    I just hope i don't wake up one day and realize how much i've screwed up my life and it's too late.
    Thank you again. <3
    Oh, I've made more than my fair share of mistakes. That's how I learned that it is very difficult to totally screw up a life. Here I am and despite some spectacular fails, my life is not totally screwed up. It's actually pretty darn good.

    For me, being afraid of what might happen is usually worse than what does actually happen.

    For instance, I had necrotising fasciitis twice in 2005 (odd how I never do things halfway). I would never have dreamed I could get through it even just once and I would have been terrified if I'd known it was going to happen to me.

    But it did happen to me and even though it was incredibly unpleasant to downright agonisingly painful, I made it through.

    Before I became so disabled, I was terrified of being disabled. I never dreamed I could be happy if my mobility was severely impaired or my eyesight impaired. And yet, here I am, very disabled and yet very happy. I've lost some and gained some.

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  9. #955
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    It amazes me when I see people from all over the world come together with one common goal; the safe return of AB and KB.

    It hurts me to see the same individuals lose sight of what the goal was in the first place.

    Did it ever occur to anyone that the "friend" from CA might of been a forensic psychologist brought in by the FBI to interview these 2 young ladies?

    Not only do these young ladies have to heal physically but mentally as well. They are as well the star witnesses. There is not a chance that anyone can convince me that the FBI would allow just anyone to be in contact with them especially less than 24 hours after being found and before the FBI even had the opportunity to interview them.

    I get the fact that there is family dynamics here. The issue I have is that it is not about GB or MJ it is about 2 young ladies AB and KB. The families need to put their issues aside and allow the professionals involved do what they do best.

    As one lady stated in the news people "need to sweep their porch before they comment on someone else's porch".


    If there are concerns or information about GB or MJ they should be brought to the attention of the FBI not discussed on forums or facebook. I don't know how anyone would know what is contained in GB's or MJ's statements. These have not been released thus I truly don't understand how anyone can state that there are different versions.

    There is simply no need for 2 trust accounts. Only 1 trust account is needed and a 3rd party not involved with either family should be appointed by a judge to oversee it. Whenever I have been involved with trust funds I have had to make full accountings to a judge regarding expenditures related to same. People have to realize that whomever is in charge of these accounts can submit a bill with respect to the services they have rendered in dealing with them. Two trust accounts means two different individuals that could potentially be reimbursed for their time. It is not about GB or MJ.

    We all must as well realize that it was not just GB that allowed contact with AM as JB was still alive at that point in time.

    At the end of the day it is about AB and KB and I feel that this is being lost.

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  11. #956
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    Poor girls... they have been through so much. Here is a new article about what trauma does to children. I'm sure many on this forum can relate.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/crime/20...of-adam-mayes/
    The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return.

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  13. #957
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    Quote Originally Posted by HaikuMommy View Post
    Poor girls... they have been through so much. Here is a new article about what trauma does to children. I'm sure many on this forum can relate.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/crime/20...of-adam-mayes/
    I so want the Bain girls to triumph over every potential issue mentioned in that article.

    My hope is that they will receive sound psychological and spiritual counseling in tandem. Lord, please heal their wounded hearts and minds.
    You are the anchor to my soul, you won't let go ...

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  15. #958
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    I saw on the news the other night that no one has claimed AM's remains and that if no one comes forward to claim them, the state will cremate him and it will cost 1,700 dollars of the states money. I think they should just give his body to science. And see what makes someone like him tick.

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  17. #959
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    Quote Originally Posted by animallvr View Post
    I do think, though, it is good to be passionate about what you believe instead of being wishy-washy. You are right, we are the product of our past and what has happened to you. That blinds me too sometimes, things I feel so strong about because of something in the past makes me not be open to other things.

    Thank you menmo!!
    I wouldn't say it blinds us, but more that it expands our minds to what does happen sometimes, unfortunately. Instead of blind I think it's more like eyes wide open.

    There are days I wish I could go back to being naive and believe that all people are good and that bad things don't happen. That innocence was taken from me long ago. For the most part, though, I still believe most people are good and worthy of my trust, even though I don't trust easliy anymore. It's the few people that aren't so good that really bring me down.

    Also, the FB page that some are talking about-I have no idea about it because I haven't been there and don't plan to. I've watched a few pages here and there with missing people or the memory pages of people that have gone on to know there are some seriously messed up people out there. Who has time to troll on the pages saying hurtful things? Not me and I don't like wading through it so I stick with WS and MSM for the most part. I especially like it when locals are on and posting because I gain so much more insight. That doesn't mean they'll make up my mind for me, it just is that I seem to get a better picture most times.

    MOO
    Last edited by menmo; 05-26-2012 at 10:40 AM. Reason: repeated myself

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  19. #960
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryJaneSmith View Post
    On the other hand, to not allow children to see those they love could be just as traumatizing. I can't imagine not allowing my ex's parents to come to his funeral nor see their grand children. I don't buy into the FBI made him do it theory. Seems like a handy excuse for bad behavior. I highly doubt the FBI told him to shun everyone in JBs family and to keep them away from the girls, yet allow someone to drive in from Cali to pick them up.

    As far as the competence of the LE goes in the area, believe you me, there is lack of faith in them doing the right thing. The only relief is that the FBI is involved, and there are members of MS LE watching too. The TBIs track record is miserable, and corruption is rampant. Every week there is another member of law enforcement or prominent politician that is being investigated. I applaud your faith in LE, I used to have it myself. However, I have seen enough and experienced enough to change my mind on that issue.
    I am sure the FBI or LE did not tell them to shun everyone from JB's family. However, I can most certainly see a psychologist specializing in trauma, trauma bonding, grief and hostage situations suggesting the contact with multiple people be reduced. It makes very good sense to have the girls focus on their healing and emotions and not get upset or concerned about JB's family and their grief process (or any people not necessary for therapeutic purposes. Hugs from grandmother may be nice, but, untrained family members asking questions, talking about the M family, crying, being angry, etc can actually cause more damage then the actual event). JB's family are going through a grief process, too. And it does not reflect on them as people to not expose these girl's to the complicated grief patterns of other's at all. It is not to be mean. Part of assisting victims of this type of horrific trauma, yes, the girls are witnesses also, is to limit the amount of variables, influences and stimulation they are exposed to. It is typical protocol and medical and psych standards given they lost 3 people they love and one was the perpetrator to violence to 2 of them. I know there is speculation on the WS boards the girls were molested, etc. I chose not to even speculate on that as it is just as likely, given what I have read and know that AM did not do that. But, I will say, the experience they went through was horrific even without us having to add sexual abuse to the mix. IMOO

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  21. #961
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    http://www.newschannel5.com/story/18...goes-unclaimed

    If no one steps up soon, the county will cremate the body.
    There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief.. and unspeakable love. --Washington Irving

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    Family won't accept remains of relative


  23. #963
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    No One Wants Body of Adam Mayes, the FBI's Former Most Wanted
    http://www.ksfo560.com/rssItem.asp?f...temid=29858235

    Surely there is some mortuary school that needs a body to practice on. Med school for dissection. Something to justify this guy ever having a life.
    Just when I think that I have seen the most depraved things a human can do to another human, somebody posts a new story...........

    Why is it that when a custodial parent fails to provide for a child it is called neglect and is a criminal matter. But when a non custodial parent fails to provide it is called failure to support and is a civil matter?


    "Just when the caterpillar thought its world was over, it became a butterfly" ~ Michelle Knight

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  25. #964
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    Quote Originally Posted by mysteriew View Post
    No One Wants Body of Adam Mayes, the FBI's Former Most Wanted
    http://www.ksfo560.com/rssItem.asp?f...temid=29858235

    Surely there is some mortuary school that needs a body to practice on. Med school for dissection. Something to justify this guy ever having a life.
    The news clip I listened to said the decision to donate a body has to be made before death occurs.
    You are the anchor to my soul, you won't let go ...

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  27. #965
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    Convict him posthumously and bury him in a cardboard box in the prison cemetery. (or plain pine box)
    Convicts to dig grave.
    No cost.

    I wish, eh?

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  29. #966
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knox View Post
    The news clip I listened to said the decision to donate a body has to be made before death occurs.
    Yes, the deceased has to put that in writing before they die. As an extra note, the Body farm in TN has a waiting list last I checked in January of last year. They are picky and choosy now who they accept too. No communicable diseases like hepatitis, AIDS etc...
    understandably and with good reason.

    Why they have priced cremation at 1,700 is curious to me.
    My father was cremated just over a year ago at 700.
    Either 1000. inflation in just over a year or that much difference from state to state??? Wow.

    As to the girls being interviewed by LE...It is my understanding that LE only gets a certain number of interviews (here in FL it is 3, I think) before the Defense can assert that the children were "led" or questioned so many times as to lead them to answer in a way that the person doing the interviewing wanted them to. IOW, giving answers they think LE wants to hear or stories changing because they have been questioned so many times. It would be of great benefit to LE to bring in the properly trained FBI or equivalent personnel to interview the girls the first time.

    Just my own opinion.

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  33. #968
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    Still find it sad that his body was lying in limbo, that no one would claim him. Guess I think back to times that I have dealt with some very nasty and bad people, but realize they had someone that loves them. Glad his body is going to the body farm. Come to think of it, attended a funeral several months ago and as I pulled up the sign on the wall of this "place of bereavement" said home of the $995 complete funeral including casket.

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  35. #969
    his body is actually being donated to science:

    (CNN) -- The family of accused killer and kidnapper Adam Mayes, who was placed on the FBI's "10 Most Wanted" list, has sent his body to the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, where students will use it for research and educational purposes, officials said.

    Mayes' body had been with the Mississippi State Medical Examiner's Office since early May, when he killed himself. The body was picked up from there and delivered to the university's forensic department on Thursday, said Mark Golding, medical examiner in Union County, Mississippi.

    Mayes' body will not be identifiable to students because each body is assigned a number, according to William Bass, a retired professor at the school.

    Authorities allege that Mayes, 35, killed Jo Ann Bain, 31, and her eldest daughter, 14-year-old Adrienne, on April 27 at their home in Whiteville, Tennessee. He then abducted Bain's younger daughters, 12-year-old Alexandria and 8-year-old Kyliyah, who were missing for two weeks. After being cornered in Mississippi by authorities, Mayes shot himself in the head and died. The girls survived.

    Both his mother, Mary Frances Mayes, and ex-wife, Teresa Ann Mayes, are accused of helping Mayes. His ex-wife is charged with two counts of first-degree murder and two counts of especially aggravating kidnapping. His mother faces charges of especially aggravating kidnapping and conspiracy to commit especially aggravated kidnapping.

    Source: http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/08/justic...html?hpt=hp_t1

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  37. #970
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    Wow. Karma is a b@#$%!

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  41. #972
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    That was interesting.
    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~ Aristotle

    The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

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  43. #973
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    Sounds like 'CYA' letters to me...don't think it will quite that easy for them to escape justice...

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  45. #974
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    anyone know when their trial starts?

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    I think his wife is going to find out that low IQ, learning disabilities, etc, don't make someone legally insane.
    Just my opinion

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