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  1. #1
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    UK - Christopher Donovan, 18, brutally murdered, Surrey, 25 May 2001

    The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
    It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
    Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
    It blesseth him that gives and him that takes


    Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice, IV i
    We hugged the ****s who kicked our son to death... then found one a job
    On a balmy day in July last year, three people sat down to share tea and biscuits together in a Surrey community hall. Ray and Violet Donovan, a smart, middle-aged couple, listened to a softly-spoken, suited young man tell them of his dreams and plans for the future.
    ---
    Nobody could ever have guessed that the young man hugged so lovingly that day by Ray and Violet was one of a gang who had murdered their son, Christopher, and destroyed the family life they held so dear.
    ---
    [In] 2010, they were approached by the charity CALM — Confidential and Local Mediation — which arranges mediation between people in turmoil. They asked if the Donovans would like to meet their son’s killers.
    ---
    Ray says: ‘He walked into the community hall and held his hand out to shake mine, but I stepped forward to hug him instead, and he started weeping.
    ---
    ‘This lad showed genuine remorse. He had already been released from prison, so it was no false display to gain parole. He had studied in jail, and gained qualifications.

    ‘He wanted to make something of his life, and when he told me he was looking for work, I found him a job as an art curator. He’s doing well.’
    ---
    much, much more at Daily Mail link above

  2. #2
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    What a truly remarkable couple.

  3. #3
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    They are much better people than I am. I am afraid there is no way I could do that.
    Thoughts and prayers for the people of Paris and all of France!

  4. #4
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    I know I couldn't be as forgiving as this couple if someone had murdered my son or daughter. They truly are remarkable and I admire them, but I couldn't do it.

  5. #5
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    Couldn't do it either I don't think. The quality of mercy - these two indeed are remarkable people.

  6. #6
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    From Grand Rapids WY, also in Daily Mail:

    The extraordinary moment the father of a car crash victim HUGS the 18-
    year-old driver who killed his son after pleading with judge to spare him

    ---
    'I am begging you to let Takunda make something of himself in the real world-- don't send him to prison and get hard and bitter, that boy has learned his lesson a thousand times over and he'll never make the same mistake again,' Lauren See said in court.

    'I promised myself one thing that day. I promised myself I would not get angry.'
    ---
    the rest, with pictures, at link above

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizzybeth View Post
    I know I couldn't be as forgiving as this couple if someone had murdered my son or daughter. They truly are remarkable and I admire them, but I couldn't do it.
    Not only I couldn't do it, I wouldn't want to do it. I am much more of an "eye for an eye" person.
    Just my opinion

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjenny View Post
    Not only I couldn't do it, I wouldn't want to do it. I am much more of an "eye for an eye" person.
    Ah, a contrarian response. Much better to hold onto one's hatred and let it, in turn, consume oneself then.

    But let me add: I could not forgive either.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by wfgodot View Post
    Ah, a contrarian response. Much better to hold onto one's hatred and let it, in turn, consume oneself then.

    But let me add: I could not forgive either.
    I really don't understand why not forgiving equates with consuming oneself with anger.
    I feel that some things one shouldn't have to forgive.
    Just my opinion

  10. #10
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    Wow. While I would hope I would try to find forgiveness in my heart for such a person(s), I do not think I could do what they have done. I know I would strive towards it, but do not truly see myself reaching that place.

    ETA For Clarity: For me to forgive means to not live in that angry space anymore. Not be best friends with that person.

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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaLaw2000 View Post
    They are much better people than I am. I am afraid there is no way I could do that.
    They are better than I am too because I would NEVER be able to do that.

  12. #12
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    They are truly remarkable. Better people than me. I am so going to hell....


    "I bear the chain I forged in life...I made it of my own free will and of my own free will I wore it....your chain was fully as long as this seven Christmas Eve's ago - and you have labored on it since." Jacob Marley


    MURDERER'S! You know g**damn well what happened to your kid so stop playing the victim and just confess you lying murdering liars! - Mr. Chris Stotch - South Park


    All posts are my opinion only.

  13. #13
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    I think it all depends on the crime. Your second story about the 18 year old drunk driver, I could probably forgive the young man even if my child was killed. I'd make sure he would get the treatment he deserved and live a productive life helping others combat alcoholism, drugs.

    As for a cold blooded murder. Or pedophiles. No frickin way.

  14. #14
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    I have the luxury of not understanding how anyone could kill another person. I have that luxury because of two things: 1) a loving upbringing, and 2) no mental illness (that caused me to be an outcast, loathe myself, or, be unable to control my anger).

    But I do know that I have been incredibly fortunate. ("There but for the grace of God go I.") In light of that I would like to think I could forgive those, who killed a loved one of mine, that were willing to take respsonsibility and want to move forward.

    The real truth is, though, that that is simply a theoretical ideal in my mind. Of course I have NO idea whether I could actually forgive if I actually lost a child to intentional violence. ( I somehow feel very confident that I could forgive negligence and willful foolishness....after a while.)

    I do appreciate jjenny's comment though...why is it considered "good" to forgive? That caused me to think. But I still feel how I feel.
    Any man's death diminishes me,
    Because I am involved in mankind,
    Therefore, send not to know, for whom the bell tolls;
    It tolls for thee.
    ~John Dunne


    #TeamCivilization

  15. #15
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    If I were brutally murdered by some scumbags I don't think I would want my parents coddling, hugging, and helping my killers. If one of my own was tortured and murdered I sure wouldn't be helping the ones that did that to them. To me that would seem disloyal.

    If they want to forgive them that is their business, but to actually go out of their way to find them jobs and celebrate family moments with them? If they want to make society a better place they can find other violent criminals to help, there are plenty to go around.

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