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  1. #1
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    Nov 2010
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    Finding of the new "Mommy Gene"

    Is it bunk or do you think there is something to it??

    http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs...parenting.html



    In a study with mice, the researchers determined that a single gene exists that could be responsible for motivating mothers to protect, feed and raise their young.

    The study's findings mean there could be a valid explanation as to why some women seem born to be maternal figures, while others come across as detached or cold or even completely not interested when it comes to children

  2. #2
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    Hmmm...I for one believe it!

    I knew I always wanted kids. Lots of them!!!
    I ended up with 2, #1 a 26 week preemie and 5 months of bed rest with #2.

    IMO my mother DID NOT have the "mommy gene" she didn't want kids at all. Ever! She actually TOLD ME had abortion been legal in 1967 I WOULD NOT BE HERE! (nice huh?)
    She was 34 when I was born. (I'm pretty sure when I was 6 she did have an abortion)
    I was raised however Dr Spock said to raise children. I DO NOT LIKE DR SPOCK!!!
    She was an ok mom never abused me or anything but clearly she had no "mommy gene"!

    ETA: When my kids were babies she scared me with them! Broke my ♥! What if she was like that with me?? I know I accidentally got left home alone at about 6 months for over an hour! My dad came home and found me there ~still don't understand that one!
    She said she thought he was home when she left!

    She had ZERO patience. I left my second child, a newborn with her to get groceries and came home to find him buckled in his car seat, in my bedroom, on the floor between the bed and the outside wall WITH THE DOOR SHUT and THE DOOR SHUT to the hall as well. He was screaming his head off and she was literally beside herself mad at ME!!! (I was gone less than an HOUR) - she never baby sat them again. We'd go to her house but mostly, she was plain old indifferent to them.

    My kids only had a babysitter (at night) once.
    After leaving them at daycare all day, they came with us or I stayed home!
    Don't feel like I missed a thing!
    moo

    I must have gotten the "mommy gene" from my DADDY!!!
    ~ my opinion only

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    939
    i believe it too.

    i dont have a mommy gene myself, and neither did my biomother. only reason i was even born was she was too drunk to realise she was pregnant till it was too late, and then she drank and took drugs the whole time. she hated me for being born and abused me something terrible (in the first year after my auntie got custody,when i was 5, i had to have 5 bones rebroken and reset, among other things)

    i do love my brothers child, and my cousins children, but only in small doses (like 2 or 3 hours)

    when i found out at 16 that i was sterile, i was happy. the dr thought i was just saying so, but i wasnt. ive never been able to even imagine having a child of my own LOL. never played with dolls, they make me think of dead babies and repel me.

    i dont think im the only one, either.

  4. #4
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    Sep 2012
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    Now we just need to work on society's inherent ability to make women feel inferior for not wanting to have children. I've always thought it perfectly acceptable to NOT want them, but I know TONS of people who think something must be "wrong" with a woman if she doesn't.
    I speak fluently in reaction gifs.


  5. #5
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    Nov 2010
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    I have several child free by choice friends They humor me when i do talk about my kids and i try very hard to not talk about them that much and we talk about other things we enjoy They don't usually come over here LOL i have 5 boys and i understand their hesitation LOL. So we usually hang at their house

    I think it's just fine for women, men, couples to decide not to have kids. They choose it for a myriad of reasons.. for some it's that they cannot have kids and have moved on and now no longer want them, some feel the earth is already over populated and don't want to add to that, and for some it's because they are scared they will abuse a child the way their own parents abuse them, some cringe at the idea of being barfed on and know they probably wouldn't be good at it lol

    I hope none of my friends ever feel judged by anyone.. i guess it's not something I've ever imagined happening, so I've never inquired... I'm off to do some texting!

  6. #6
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    Sep 2012
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    I think people don't even realize they do it. I've seen people say "Oh, you're young, that will change" when a 23 year old says she doesn't want kids. Or "You don't know what you're saying." To me, that always seemed SO rude!

    We need to learn to keep our mouths shut sometimes LOL!

    Much love to childless folks. Do your thing!
    I speak fluently in reaction gifs.


  7. #7
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    Jun 2012
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    My mother was not a very good mother either but she raised me and my brothers to at least be strong and healthy, and able to read and write, which implies some sort of caring at a basic level. We also got taught how to swim, how to look before you crossed the road, etc. She ensured our survival, if not a very pleasant or loving one.

    I doubt many of us would have survived to adulthood in one piece at all if our mothers truly lacked all mothering instinct. Most wouldn't have been born at all, probably. Only the "good" girls used to get "caught"...the others took care of the situation one way or another.

    If there is just one mothering gene then maybe in some women it can be faulty - just like any other gene I suppose. That would explain a lot.
    Everything I post is my opinion only, can change at any time, and is not intended to replace fact.
    Critical Thinking is often criticised.
    KISS

  8. #8
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawny View Post
    Now we just need to work on society's inherent ability to make women feel inferior for not wanting to have children. I've always thought it perfectly acceptable to NOT want them, but I know TONS of people who think something must be "wrong" with a woman if she doesn't.
    i used to get hated on a lot. two 'friends' even backed away from the friendship because they felt i was evil or something...unnatural.. (no great loss) one of the good things about being disabled was the end of all that lol.

    its quite possible that some of the women that we hear of that neglect, abuse or even kill their children have no mommy gene.

    i do know there is a lot of outside pressure on newlywed couples to make babies as soon as they can. i have never understood that

  9. #9
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    Oct 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by peeples View Post
    Is it bunk or do you think there is something to it??

    http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs...parenting.html



    In a study with mice, the researchers determined that a single gene exists that could be responsible for motivating mothers to protect, feed and raise their young.

    The study's findings mean there could be a valid explanation as to why some women seem born to be maternal figures, while others come across as detached or cold or even completely not interested when it comes to children
    Well Casey Anthony apparently didn't have this gene or it was defective. lol

  10. #10
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    Oct 2010
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    7,109
    I have huge respect for women who opt not to have children you know why? Because they know it cost a lot of money, they know it is a full time job, and all that, if they have one ounce of doubt then they are making the correct choice. How many people bring Children into the world ill prepared. Majority of them do well and find ways, other's are bad moms, and who pays but the children!

    Not saying all woman who choose not to have children would be bad mom's, it is just if they have doubt then why risk an experiment if after having a baby you realize um, this isn't for me. Dang I'm still having trouble explaining it.


  11. #11
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    Dec 2011
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    Eugene, Oregon, United States
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    So is there a daddy gene? Or a make-as-many-babies-as-possible gene? I know nature makes it so in the beginning a baby looks more like dad, a way of establishing paternity. That might trigger a nurturing gene in males. I've seen some men who are better parents than their counterparts, so maybe the mommy gene isn't exclusive to one gender.

  12. #12
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    Feb 2010
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    I never wanted children and did not find out that I could not have any until I had used birth control for years Oh well nature gets it right sometimes I guess, as I was just relieved to know I did not have to worry about it anymore. But I have the gene for mothering small furry creatures, for sure.
    Just my opinion, of course.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by MayraMM View Post
    So is there a daddy gene? Or a make-as-many-babies-as-possible gene? I know nature makes it so in the beginning a baby looks more like dad, a way of establishing paternity. That might trigger a nurturing gene in males. I've seen some men who are better parents than their counterparts, so maybe the mommy gene isn't exclusive to one gender.
    Maybe it's just a nurturing gene? I believe men have it as well.
    The percentiles are probably similar....
    IMO a man who truly gives his all to his children also respects their mother and has no interest in having more than his salary can afford...

    I have seen this where the mom wasn't cut out for the job and dad got custody.
    I had a 17 yr old patient that got his gf preg. She wanted to give the baby up.
    He fought her and his mother tooth and nail! He was a big guy! over 6 ft and probably 250#
    He Immediately Quit football (and school) took online courses to grad early, worked his butt off at two jobs for 7 months, to save $ to pay his mom for childcare and provide a nursery for his little girl.
    He stopped dating and hanging out with his friends...
    Went to church yard sales to buy her supplies...
    Checked out a book about what to expect the first year from the library and made a note book for her... (That he brought to every Dr's visit)
    Went to the the local hospital and took free parenting courses.
    Asked his sister for one of her dolls to practice his diapering skills...
    Took the bed out of his small room to make room for her crib,
    Stayed with the baby at the hospital (mom checked out hours after the birth) The hospital gave him a room just as though he had given birth to her.
    He slept on the floor in his room, got up for every feeding...
    Got all of her check ups and shots ON TIME!
    He was 18 when his little girl was born.

    The last time I saw her she was 2. He even learned how to braid her hair while she slept with the little colored balls in it!! ~not sure what that is called???

    He started working a night shift when she started sleeping through the night so his mom wouldn't have too much stress, and started on-line college.

    Let me tell you that kid was awesome!
    Last I heard the mother had not even seen her toddler since the day she gave birth to her.

    he had the parenting gene NO DOUBT!!!
    ~ my opinion only

  14. #14
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    Dec 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by gngr~snap View Post
    Maybe it's just a nurturing gene? I believe men have it as well.
    The percentiles are probably similar....
    IMO a man who truly gives his all to his children also respects their mother and has no interest in having more than his salary can afford...

    I have seen this where the mom wasn't cut out for the job and dad got custody.
    I had a 17 yr old patient that got his gf preg. She wanted to give the baby up.
    He fought her and his mother tooth and nail! He was a big guy! over 6 ft and probably 250#
    He Immediately Quit football (and school) took online courses to grad early, worked his butt off at two jobs for 7 months, to save $ to pay his mom for childcare and provide a nursery for his little girl.
    He stopped dating and hanging out with his friends...
    Went to church yard sales to buy her supplies...
    Checked out a book about what to expect the first year from the library and made a note book for her... (That he brought to every Dr's visit)
    Went to the the local hospital and took free parenting courses.
    Asked his sister for one of her dolls to practice his diapering skills...
    Took the bed out of his small room to make room for her crib,
    Stayed with the baby at the hospital (mom checked out hours after the birth) The hospital gave him a room just as though he had given birth to her.
    He slept on the floor in his room, got up for every feeding...
    Got all of her check ups and shots ON TIME!
    He was 18 when his little girl was born.

    The last time I saw her she was 2. He even learned how to braid her hair while she slept with the little colored balls in it!! ~not sure what that is called???

    He started working a night shift when she started sleeping through the night so his mom wouldn't have too much stress, and started on-line college.

    Let me tell you that kid was awesome!
    Last I heard the mother had not even seen her toddler since the day she gave birth to her.

    he had the parenting gene NO DOUBT!!!
    I am literally standing next to my desk applauding that man! He's going to make someone a great husband some day, and his daughter, well, she's the luckiest little girl around. It could have gone so many other ways!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    9,085
    Oh heck yes there's a gene! Thank goodness we live in a time where you don't have to remain a sexless spinster because you're not cut out to be a mother! I do a lot of family history research and such, and the uncoupled woman was not a rarity, but her independence was.

    We are lucky to live in the 20th and 21st centuries, very fortunate indeed.


    (my mom didn't have it, myself and one sister do, another sister doesn't. one grandmother did, one didn't, mother-in-law didn't... seems like a pretty common occurrence, in my life anyway.)

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