Never thought it would happen to my kid...

I just had to file a complaint with my daughter's school for a bullying situation. My daughter is in 9th grade and she is a very pretty girl, a cheerleader and has lots of friends. Basically your all-american popular high school girl. I guess I have alot more to learn about this bullying problem as I never imagined she would be targeted until now.

At the end of last year she re-connected with a boy from her elementary school who now goes to a different high school They liked each other but my daughter didn't like him in that way. Over the summer this same boy started going with another girl from her school and that is when the trouble started. The girl decided she didn't like my daughter because her boyfriend had made some comments about her being pretty. Ever since the beginning of the year she has called my daughter a *advertiser censored* and *advertiser censored* and gotten all of her friends from volleyball to join in on this as well as throwing food at my daughter in the cafeteria.

My daughter told me about this and I was very upset and told her she needs to stand up to this girl. But she said she was afraid and hates confrontation. I know a couple of her good friends have confronted this bully about it and it doesn't seem to faze her at all. Then she has a good friend who is freindly with this bully and sits with her at lunch!!! I just wish she would stand up and say something back to this girl.

I guess my point is that ANYONE can be a victim of bullying....not just the outcasts or the overweight kid or the nerdy kid. So sad.

Thankfully the school has a three strikes policy for bullying!

Very true. My son, very good looking and popular, still gets picked on. It's called JEALOUSY, which I think is the same as your daughter's situation. Just goes to show, as you said, anyone can be a victim.

So sorry your daughter is having to deal with this. Kids can be SO cruel!!!!

Anyone can be a bullying victim. It is not some outcast or ugly kid. It is called envy and mix it with narcissism and paranoia, you got trouble. They very thing that plagues someone like Lori Drew, Kayla Narey, or to a lessor degree Casey Anthony.

georgia girl- I was almost in this exact same situation in 8th grade.

In your daughter's situation the bright light is that the bullies are in school sports. They will/should be pulled if it continues. Hopefully the threat of that will get them to button their lips fast.
The dean threatened my bullies with police involvement and expulsion and they stopped right away. Luckily for me.

Studies show that popular kids are both bullies and bullied as much as any other type of kid. It has to do with jockeying for social positions.

Sorry you and your daughter are going thru this...I hope her parents are now aware of her behavior. Sounds like typical teen jealousy.

My bff little sister, only a year younger, became jealous of me because I was taking her time away with her sister...and she wasn't always allowed to hang with us. She started a rumor telling kids I was on birth control!!!! I was only in 8th grade and had yet to have a real boyfriend! Thankfully all the kids knew her for what she was...and blew it off, but I wanted to let her know she couldn't get away with it. I went to my favorite teacher and the school handled it..promptly. Of course, that was back in the 60's when bullying was nipped in the bud. With FB, twitter, etc. it just grows to unbelievable heights now....and in many cases the bully has no fear (sadly) of repercussions because of parenting issues.

I hope things are taken care of and your daughter just continues being who she is enjoying her teen years...and ignoring this little pest. Hopefully her boyfriend is not too thrilled with her behavior as well.

UPDATE: I am happy to report that the same day that I made the complaint to the school my daughter stood up to her bully for the first time. C (my daughter) had no idea I had made the report but I had been encouraging her to stand up to the bully since I felt it was important that she let people know she can't just be pushed around.

It went a little something like this...

C notices T (bully) glaring at her as usual across the lunch table at lunch so C says "Do you have a problem??" at which T just gets a shocked look on her face and says "Um no" and C says "Are you sure?? Cause you look like you have a problem." T says "I don't know what your talking about!" then C says "Oh yes you do! The stuff you have been saying to me and getting your friends to say to me? I just want to let you know I am done with your crap!" C says T just kind of acted stunned like she didn't know what to say and by then a few other students had come over to see what the confrontation was about and so T just got up and left.

C hasn't had anymore trouble from T since then. I honestly have never been more proud of her! I told her she needs to be able to stand up to people like that as she will encounter bullies throughout her life even as an adult there are even bullies in the workplace.

georgiagirl - I cannot stop thinking about how your daughter was able to handle the situation. Please let her know there are others that are proud of her also.

Thank you ScubaTwinn!! My daughter is very sweet and quiet and not at all comfortable with confrontation so I know she really had to work up the courage like many other kids do. But sometimes thats all it takes is just letting someone know you aren't gonna take it from them. It certainly doesn't come easy for some people but I believe standing up for yourself is a very important life skill that should be learned at a young age.

I appreciate your support!

Georgia, your daughter has learned an invaluable skill that she can use for the rest of her life! I'm so glad she did it - when we go to administrators and they step in and shield the victim from the bully, that's second best. First best is when the victim is able to learn the skill of standing up for herself and does so successfully.

By the way, this will probably not be the final final end of this - the bully will try one more time - but with a weaker attempt. Your daughter just needs to keep her head held high, not take this treatment, and it will stop.

I totally agree JeannaT! In fact, I told her T may try again but I know now she feels empowered to push back. I think with most girls like this its just alot of verbal abuse. The school counselor told me this goes on way more than people know and mostly goes unreported. She said girls use names like "*advertiser censored*" and "*advertiser censored*" to hurt their target.

The saddest part is that my daughter's story is a mild case and there are so so many cases that are so severe with daily physical and verbal bullying that makes life hell on earth for the victim. It just breaks my heart!