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  1. #1
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    Ohio Student Wins Stalking Order Against Extreme Helicopter Parents

    Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school's musicals. Her latest win wasn't at her prestigious music conservatory, but in court after she filed a civil stalking order against her parents. Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.

    "They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life," Ireland told ABC News.
    http://abcnews.go.com/US/student-win...7#.UN2z4qzIm6o
    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~ Aristotle

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  2. #2
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    According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, the school hired security guards to keep them out of their daughter's performances in school productions. When she cut off all contact with them, her parents responded by stopping payment on tuition checks.

    Both the school and the court have sided with Aubrey. The University of Cincinnati gave her a full scholarship for her senior year, and the judge issued a civil stalking order against her parents, ordering them to stay at least 500 feet away from her and have no contact with her until September 2013.

    Helicopter parents are nothing new. They ignore boundaries or simply embarrass their adult children once they've left for college -- or worse -- in the workplace. Few cases are so extreme as Ireland's.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/1...n_2372043.html
    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~ Aristotle

    The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

  3. #3
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    hollyblue is offline It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs.
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    If her parents are all that controlling it's a joke to think a 500' RO and no contact with her will hinder them. Few questions. Why didn't she just get a new phone and computer...tell her parents no to the Skype viewing, etc? Curious why the school also felt it necessary for security guards for her prior to the RO...that seems serious. I am sure there is much more we don't know, but I'm also sure the parents won't relent and prolly hire a PI to keep an eye on her if they can afford it.

    She should have agreed to family counseling when they tried to institutional her and nailed their butt to the wall. IMO

  4. #4
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    It sounds like institutionalization is warranted in this case. But not for the daughter!

  5. #5
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    I consider myself a helicopter mom to my 15YO, but pray that I will have the courage and guidance to allow him to make his own choices once he's of age. However, while I am still responsible for him (under 18), I believe it to be my responsibility to ensure he doesn't get into any trouble, get good grades, etc. I do think the parents in this case went to the extreme - merely because they controlled the purse strings. This young woman is 21 and old enough to do what she wants with her life.

    JMHO

    Mel

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaulR View Post
    It sounds like institutionalization is warranted in this case. But not for the daughter!
    In that I agree~ My DH would never let me interfere like that. He gets mad enough at me when I insist on looking at browser history

  7. #7
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    Once, I fixed up a hallway wall with pictures of my children at various times in their lives, and my son said it was "creepy" and that he was going to call 911 and report that a lady had pictures of him all over her walls.

    I think this girl did the right thing. Her parents, for whatever motives, were unable to relinquish any control at all, to the point they were willing to try to get her locked in an institution -- in the name of caring about her. Dangerous!

  8. #8
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    Some more in-depth info and pics: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti..._campaign=1490

  9. #9
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    I didn't read the whole article but I have a 21 year old that lives with me free of charge that wants to do whatever he wants. I'm good with that as long as he lives on his own and is self sufficient, this includes tuition.

  10. #10
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    This didn't involve an offspring fighting to "do whatever they want," though. These parents put a key-stroke detector thing on her phone and computer, so they could see every single letter she ever typed. I don't think it's unreasonable for her to demand a basic level human decency and privacy.

    Many, if not most, parents who pay for their children's higher education have some sort of requirements that the child must maintain in order to continue receiving that assistance. Is it fair to presume that these young adults should have no rights to basic privacy? How in the world was this young lady supposed to learn how to be an adult when her parents were constantly breathing down her neck, even when they weren't even physically present? I wonder if they were clear to her about this...ie: we'll pay your tuition but we get to see every text and email you ever write? Doubt it.

    Such a sad story, IMO. Obviously, these parents have some unmet needs and they're trying desperately to meet those needs through the unreasonable control of their daughter. I hope at some point they recognize that the harm they've likely caused to their relationship with their daughter can't possibly be worth seeing a juicy text message or two.
    Unless specified otherwise and linked, my posts are simply random thoughts of mine, in no particular order, not directed at any post or poster, including but not limited to the ones directly above mine. My opinion only, yours may vary. IMO. JMO. IMHO. JMHO. MOO. Disclaimer, small print, asterisk, and etc.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by flourish View Post
    This didn't involve an offspring fighting to "do whatever they want," though. These parents put a key-stroke detector thing on her phone and computer, so they could see every single letter she ever typed. I don't think it's unreasonable for her to demand a basic level human decency and privacy.

    Many, if not most, parents who pay for their children's higher education have some sort of requirements that the child must maintain in order to continue receiving that assistance. Is it fair to presume that these young adults should have no rights to basic privacy? How in the world was this young lady supposed to learn how to be an adult when her parents were constantly breathing down her neck, even when they weren't even physically present? I wonder if they were clear to her about this...ie: we'll pay your tuition but we get to see every text and email you ever write? Doubt it.

    Such a sad story, IMO. Obviously, these parents have some unmet needs and they're trying desperately to meet those needs through the unreasonable control of their daughter. I hope at some point they recognize that the harm they've likely caused to their relationship with their daughter can't possibly be worth seeing a juicy text message or two.
    Well said my friend!

  12. #12
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    My spouse is a professor and occasionally gets calls from parents demanding to know the grades of their adult children. Handing out this personal information is against the law. Some parents accept that and walk away, and other are

    I wonder if her parents were so pushy it was overflowing to her professors/instructors and that is why the guards were hired.

    No matter. I hope the parents can get some help and later try to rekindle some sort of relationship with their child.

  13. #13
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    But Ms Ireland sought a civil stalking order after her parents went to the college and told staff they would try to take her away for mental evaluations, warning it would 'attract a lot of publicity'.Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz2GsdSRhjV
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    OMG what is wrong with these parents....yes it would attract alot of publicity because the parents are so looney!!!!

  14. #14
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    The mom stated that her daughter was "catered to all her life" and they wanted tuition spent given back. That's not loving parents, that's spiteful meanness. I hope they don't go ape and hurt her since there's already been an assault.

  15. #15
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    What a huge waist of time and money. IMO, this girl had no obligation to accept the support her parents were giving her but accepting such support she essentially agreed to accept the rules that went along with it. If she didn't want to live by the rules of the parents who were paying her bills then she should have taken it upon herself to pay her own way. If she had done so and her parents then still treated her the way they did, THEN I would agree they were over the top.

    My son is 20 and in college. He doesn't have a job and is supported 100% by me. He will follow my rules until he is able to support and provide for himself. The alternative is to not have the support I give him. Simple as that. I'm looking forward to the day when he is supporting himself but it appears he isn't in a big hurry. So much for being a helicopter parent.

    This topic is timely for me. I am just about to write a check for my son's tuition next semester. The thought occurred to me the other day about how irritating it is when I have to remind, then ask, then ask again, and then practically threaten just to get the trash taken out when it is supposed to be. I wonder if it would be as irritating to my son if I 'forgot' to write that tuition check. I wont because I want him to go to school, but occasionally I just wonder if it would get the point across to kids/young adults that until they are 'old enough' to support themselves they aren't 'old enough' to do whatever they please.


    "Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler".

    Albert Einstein


    “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated”.

    Mahatma Gandhi

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