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  1. #1
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    Stressed/school issue

    What would you guys suggest? My son is in 8th grade and today he was facing the lockers talking to someone and a boy came up behind him and grabbed his head and snapped his neck back leading to my son needing an ER visit. They did a ct scan and said it was a muscle sprain. He is on muscle relaxers for it and to take it easy for the week and recheck at the drs on a few days. I think this boy should be charged with assault. Am I being reasonable? My son has been bullied many times before. This kid is also in 2 classes with him, which my son is now afraid to be in there with him.

  2. #2
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    thepinkdragon is offline Verified US Army Veteran/Certified Veteran's Mental Health & PTSD Advocate
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    Wow that is horrendous! Your poor son. Give him hugs and snuggles! Omg I would be so furious! What did the school do to the bully? If they didn't take any action against the child then yes I would press charges. Even if they did do something I think I still would. I shudder to think what that kid will do next if left to his own volition without consequences. I hope your son and your nerves get better soon.


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  3. #3
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    That's awful, I'm sorry for your son. Do you know what happened, if they had previously had a fight or if that was a completely random thing?

    My advice is to go to the principal or a teacher and bring this up to them. Do they know about the situation and have they done anything? Finding out the context through your son and going to the school first could clear things up easier... for example if it was a silly joke gone wrong, the other kid needs to be called out and taught that some things are dangerous and hurtful but pressing charges is too much. The school may not know the situation was so severe or may have put it down to a kids' fight so finding out what happened and informing them makes it easier for them to do something. You should also get them to call the other kid's parents to the school, some parents let their kids bully others but many would like to know so that even if the school lets him off the hook they can still take a stand.

    Everything in my posts is just my opinion unless it's a quote. ||| please don't quote my posts outside of this site without my permission.
    I'm no longer very active on WS due to lack of time, if you'd like to keep in touch feel free to PM me though.

  4. #4
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    The doctor is a mandated reporter- have him report it.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kinpa4 View Post
    What would you guys suggest? My son is in 8th grade and today he was facing the lockers talking to someone and a boy came up behind him and grabbed his head and snapped his neck back leading to my son needing an ER visit. They did a ct scan and said it was a muscle sprain. He is on muscle relaxers for it and to take it easy for the week and recheck at the drs on a few days. I think this boy should be charged with assault. Am I being reasonable? My son has been bullied many times before. This kid is also in 2 classes with him, which my son is now afraid to be in there with him.
    Not sure where you are from, but in my area our schools have zero tolerance towards violence to take a stand against bullying. You should report this immediately, your son has had bodily injury....what next....don't wait for it to happen again, your son is telling you he is afraid, you need to report this.

  6. #6
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    What is the school doing about it? Since your son was assaulted, I would hope the hospital would report the incident to the police/school/etc. Please let us know what's going on - as swift reporting is most necessary here.

    Most schools have zero tolerance, and this certainly falls under that category.

    All the best,

    Melanie

  7. #7
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    Thanks everyone, the school will not tell me what is going to be done. They just say it will be taken care of. That doesn't help me out. I want to know what the procedure is. Our schools obviously don't have a no tolerance policy.

  8. #8
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    If this was an adult doing this to another adult, this would be considered assault. Should be no different for kids. The doctors report is proof that there was injury. Call the police.

  9. #9
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    Aside from demanding the school and doctor do the proper interventions, you need to enroll your son into a karate school. He needs to build his confidence so that he does not view himself as a victim.
    And it will keep him active, happy, healthy too! (>;
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    "Look, if any of us wanted to mind our own business, we wouldn't be here" (carbuff 8/11/13)

    This post reflects my constitutionally-protected opinion. Please do not copy it anywhere else outside of the WebSleuth forum

  10. #10
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    Don't wait for the emergency room to report it, they may not. The school is not talking with you, which is not a good sign, they know you have some sort of possible case/claim here.

    Go to the police yourself and take out charges.

    Unless I have included a link, it is my opinion and only my opinion that I am expressing.


  11. #11
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    When my son was assaulted at school I went to the police after the school failed to do anything. A boy stole my son's hat then grabbed him by the head and humped his face while other boys stood around yelling rape. I contacted the school after my son told me because the school apparently did not think it was important enough to call me. I went there the next day and demanded answers from the principal. The only answers I got was that they already knew about the incident because other kids who were in the bathroom when it happened reported it and that the boy who did it was very sorry and he was suspended for one day.

    Anyway, going to the police worked out for the best. The boy was charged with several things and had to go to court. I opted for meditation first to meet with the boy and his parents. The mediation was wonderful and so were the parents and, believe it or not, so was the boy.

    It would have been nice if the school did the mediation and I didn't have to go to the police. Maybe you could suggest some sort of thing like that to the guidance counselor?

  12. #12
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    If there is another high school in your town you can go to the administrative office and demand a transfer based on bullying. I think it is federal law but is also state law here in Texas. I used it for a middle school grand daughter. You might check your state laws. If you're in a small town the bully might have to pay a fine plus travel by bus over to a larger town for several weeks of alternative school. A Grade 10 student might not be settled down by that action though. I think they ought to be expelled and flunk the semester like back when I was in school.

  13. #13
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    Thank you, my son is involved in wrestling teams. But he would never fight anyone. He has aspergers and its just not in him. Our school district has its own police and I called them, I'm waiting on a call back. It's been hours. I texted my son at school and the kid is still there. He tried saying he didn't do it. There are 3 witnesses who say he did.

  14. #14
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    My son has Asperger's as well. Does your son have an IEP and if so is there someone that you deal with/keep in regular contact with about it? If so, reach out to them, also. The more noise you make the more people are going to hear.

    If all else fails, call the Board of Education.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kinpa4 View Post
    Thank you, my son is involved in wrestling teams. But he would never fight anyone. He has aspergers and its just not in him. Our school district has its own police and I called them, I'm waiting on a call back. It's been hours. I texted my son at school and the kid is still there. He tried saying he didn't do it. There are 3 witnesses who say he did.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by flipflop View Post
    Not sure where you are from, but in my area our schools have zero tolerance towards violence to take a stand against bullying. You should report this immediately, your son has had bodily injury....what next....don't wait for it to happen again, your son is telling you he is afraid, you need to report this.
    This is absolutely correct. Make a police report NOW. The school is negligent for not calling the police and making a report as soon as they were notified that your son was injured.

    I teach kids your son's age. There are violent kids who do this kind of thing every single day and they get away with it because usually parents don't take it seriously. You son was assaulted and injured. The boy who did this will do it over and over and hurt other kids until he gets older and starts beating his girlfriend instead.

    It is a sure bet that his parents will whine and holler and threaten to sue the school if their son is held responsible for his actions. They will probably even try to blame this on your son. That is probably why the school did not call police in the first place. Vice principals get tired of the fits thrown by parents of violent bullies, sometimes they avoid dealing with it properly. They have a very stressful job and you could not pay me enough to do it!

    You are going to have to be the one to put a stop to this. Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that the kid was "just joking around" or "didn't mean to hurt him". That is a lie that violent people use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Don't be fooled. Teach your son the right way to deal with violent people...no need to cower behind a locker or retaliate, just report this assault to the police and press charges. You will be doing the bully a favor. He needs to know that he is not above the law and must suffer the consequences of assault without provocation and assault with bodily injury.

    Document everything. Notify the school but deal with the police. Bullies are not deterred one bit by any kind of "punishment " that the school can dish out. They are used to being in "on campus suspension", lunch detention and the principal's office. That is all that the school can do; it's nothing more than a brief time out. Those things have no effect at all on kids who are bullies.

    All of this is just MOO!

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