03-07-2013, 11:00 AM #1Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
Dictionaries are so last century
Circa 1996, if someone wanted more info on something such as - let's say "incest", you had to get up and walk across your 7500 sq ft house to the study, and then page though the dictionary until you find the entry.
Today, you pull out your smartphone and visit wikipedia where you can read alot of interesting info such as:
" Father-daughter incest was for many years the most commonly reported and studied form of incest. More recently, studies have suggested that sibling incest, particularly older brothers having sexual relations with younger siblings, is the most common form of incest, with some studies finding sibling incest occurring more frequently than other forms of incest. Some studies suggest that adolescent perpetrators of sibling abuse choose younger victims, abuse victims over a lengthier period, use violence more frequently and severely than adult perpetrators, and that sibling abuse has a higher rate of penetrative acts than father or stepfather incest, with father and older brother incest resulting in greater reported distress than stepfather incest."
And this tidbit that I find interesting:
"Childhood sibling–sibling incest is considered to be widespread but rarely reported. It is believed to be the most common form of intrafamilial abuse.
Sibling-sibling incest becomes child-on-child sexual abuse when it occurs without consent, without equality, or as a result of coercion. The most commonly reported form of abusive sibling incest is abuse of a younger sibling by an older sibling. A 2006 study showed a large portion of adults who experienced sibling incest abuse have distorted or disturbed beliefs (such as that the act was "normal") both about their own experience and the subject of sexual abuse in general.
Sibling abusive incest is most prevalent in families where one or both parents are often absent or emotionally unavailable, with the abusive siblings using incest as a way to assert their power over a weaker sibling. Absence of the father in particular has been found to be a significant element of most cases of sexual abuse of female children by a brother. The damaging effects on both childhood development and adult symptoms resulting from brother–sister sexual abuse are similar to the effects of father–daughter, including substance abuse, depression, suicidality, and eating disorders."
I recall reading somewhere that there were books discovered in the study which addressed some type of improper sexual conduct. I cannot recall where I read this. So, is it true and if so, what are the titles of the books?
03-07-2013, 11:25 AM #2
I'm not sure if these were the books you were looking for; The Hurried Child--Growing Up Too Fast, by David Elkind
*Children at Risk, Dobson/Bauer
*Why Johnny Can't Tell Right From Wrong, Kilpatrick
I believe they were a gift from NPMy posts are just my opinion, nothing more
03-07-2013, 11:33 AM #3Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
03-09-2013, 01:25 AM #4
2 TOM HANEY: Okay. How about a book called
3 Why johnny Can't Tell Right From Wrong?
4 PATSY RAMSEY: Yeah. That was about -- my
5 dad gave me that. That was about education, the school
It's hard for me not to snipe and wonder if Dad Paugh was trying to give Patsy a great big hint about her own dear Johnny? Shame on me!We want the truth, but can we handle the truth?
03-11-2013, 04:40 AM #5
Sorry for the delay, demanding family getting in the way, I need to go and check but I think it was after PR's cancer treatment had just ended. It also looks like it was DP and not NP who bought the books
Last edited by anne11; 03-11-2013 at 04:52 AM.My posts are just my opinion, nothing more
03-11-2013, 05:13 AM #6Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
Thank you Wenger for posting this! Very informative, in my opinion."No matter how short your wife is, bend down and listen to her advice".
03-24-2013, 09:51 AM #7Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
There could have been sibling abuse, but I don't know, I never thought Burke was involved, of course I could be totally wrong. Perhaps Burke was the sort of child who listened in on his parents private conversations. I know I sometimes tried to as a kid..parents live in an adult world that children aren't privy to...I'd listen in if I could, to hear things my parents would not say in front of us kids, such as money talk, problems at work, relatives they dont like, friends personal problems like when a neighbor was cheating on his wife, etc...it sounds bad but as a kid sometimes you want to try to listen in on those conversations because you are a kid and no one ever tells you the really interesting gossip! Perhaps Burke was an inquisitive child who sometimes listened in on his parents talks. I don't know for sure, obviously, but I always suspected that Burke listened to Patsy yelling at either John or her father Don Paugh (not sure which) and Burke heard her use the word incest, didn't know what it meant, and went to look it up so he could understand the grown ups private talk. If he did, maybe that wasn't he only time he ever tried to listen in on the grown ups. Maybe
Christmas night he heard them talking urgently and so he came to the top of the stairs to try to listen in then, too. Maybe curiosity finally got the better of him as he listened to his mom talking about what she found, and he finally came downstairs to ask, "what DID you find??" and John, who
didn't know Burke was awake and listening, angrily said "we weren't talking to you".
This would make sense to me that John said Burke was upstairs asleep, because at first he thought he WAS upstairs asleep. And then when he found out Burke had been listening, well, John doesn't know exactly how MUCH info Burke heard or understood (which may have been very little) but to be on the safe side he could say to Burke, "You dont want to get in trouble for being out of bed and listening in on our private talk, do you? You should tell the police you were upstairs asleep, because they will think you were being bad and you could get in trouble for being where you werent supposed to be". This imagined threat is realistic to me because even 9 year old kids can be afraid of police and be afraid that they will get in trouble for breaking the rules- I mean, just an example, that's sometimes how pedophiles work, telling the kid they shouldnt tell because the KID could get in trouble ("if you tell on me, it means your mom will know that you got into my car, and
didnt she always tell you not to get into other peoples cars? You might get in trouble, you broke the rules.." (which is why it's important to tell your child that if someone touches them, it doesn't matter if they didn't say no, it doesn't matter if they broke any rules, it doesn't matter if they were where they weren't supposed to be- they can still tell you and they won't be in trouble.)
Im just using that as an example of it being easy to tell a child NOT to say they were awake
listening, because after all that would mean telling the police they did something bad. That could have scared him.
And after all these years, he may well believe he WAS upstairs asleep. I mean, I have "memories" from childhood that are not actually my true memories- it's just I have been told family stories so many times that I start thinking I remember it. Ever have those? You've been told something you did so many times that you think you remember it?
Of course this is all just speculation.
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