Tomorrow I will Be 4 months closer to seeing you. Every day I am able to make it through the day but you are always on my mind. I have a hard time going in your room. Your shoes are what gets me. I see them and I remember you saying you had to have sketchers. We had to go to every shoe store to find the perfect pair. I found myself in your room the other day hugging your clothes. I can see you wearing every one of them. I thought after 4 months my heart would feel better but the truth is I miss you more now than ever. I have never felt hurt like this. I spend most of my focus on work and your foundation. It is what gets me through. So many good things have been done in your name little buddy. I hope your proud. I do make sure to not take the little things for granted. I also don't let little things get me upset. I don't think I have spent more than 5 minutes mad at any one since you passed away. I just don't waste my time on it. If I feel myself getting mad I think is it really worth it and I think about you and I change my mood. Life is way to short to focus on that stuff. I make sure to let your sisters know how much I love them and try to have family time. Even though we all feel the hurt with out you there. The girls both are starting softball. Faithy is playing on 2 teams Jilliyn on 1. We will be really busy. It will be hard for me to go to the baseball field at South town and not watch you play. I am sure your team will do good. I know your with me every where I go, I can feel you and sometimes even smell you. I hope that Jesus plays catch with you. I know that is one thing you loved to do. I'm not sure how life in heaven goes, even if you think of me at all. I'm not sure if you feel the pain I do. If you do than I feel bad for you. I would do anything for a giant hug from you. I spend so many hours at your campsite. We ordered your monument and it will be here by June. I never thought in a million years I would ever have to by you a tomb stone. That was a lot easier than I thought but hurt at the same time. It is nice to give you the respect you deserve and an honor to be able to buy that for you. I have so much respect for you Jayden. You did everything you were suppose to do right in life. I miss you so much and my love for you is so strong. I wish they would find a cure for pediatric cancer. I hope no parent has to feel this pain. But I want you to know I love you so much...
love daddy.
