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  1. #1
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    Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ef=mostpopular

    Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride
    The Huffington Post | By Kelsey Borresen Posted: 07/02/2013 5:13 pm EDT | Updated: 07/03/2013 1:55 pm EDT

    Wow, talk about bad manners! On Friday, we received a truly horrifying email from one of our readers that would make etiquette guru Emily Post turn in her grave. The reader, Tanya, told us about a recent Facebook message she received from a bride after attending her wedding last month. In the message, the bride expressed her dissatisfaction with the $100 wedding gift she received from Tanya and her date. You can read the message for yourself below, but we must warn you: Your blood WILL boil....


    My suggestion would be putting a comment on her wall.

    "I'm so sorry that you got ripped off by your caterer. There is no way those plates were worth $200 a piece. You should have ordered McDonald's and then our $100 gift would be of greater significance and the food would have been better. If you would have put the per plate cost on your wedding invitations and ask that they be covered by the guests then it would have been much easier to decide if I wanted to attend your wedding or not. To be honest with my school bills and other expenses that have to be taken care of on minimum wage I could really have used that for myself. Had I known that the wedding would be an obvious rip off of the bride (I wouldn't tell anyone else the plate cost) and that I'd be expected to help pay off the robbers I would have passed. Anyway, have a nice life together.

  2. #2
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    Mar 2009
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    Darling, thank you for your message. If we had known that the food cost $200 I am sure we would have enjoyed it more. May I suggest that the next time you get married you sell tickets or enclose a bill with the invites. It is best to be prepared. I can also recommend some caterers who will offer you a better menu for a price you can afford with your income. As for your other concern, I do not believe you need to worry about the inconvenience of buying a gift for my wedding. Please consider what you will save as our contribution to your remaining debt. Yours affectionately, etc.

  3. #3
    Apparently this bride hoped to cover expenses through "ticket sales" and ideally realize a handsome profit while she was at it---through wedding gifts.

    IMO she is so woefully uninformed and lacking in social sense that I think I would have a hard time wanting to remain friends with her. I would let the bride know that she could return the wedding gift if it did not "fit"....she could return it to me because it fits me perfectly and I can get a lot of wear out a hundred dollars.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    4,214
    Mr gracelin and I received a tacky, generic thank you note for a wedding we attended.
    It was posted on facebook and addressed to all our friends and family who attended our wedding. I'm still shaking my head.
    Yup! I would have posted this note public on my FB page in a heart beat. We gave the couple $100.00 cash. What is the new proper amount??
    Proud member of the food police. Fighting CKD one day at a time

  5. #5
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    My husband and I have been to several weddings over the past few years where we gave the couple a check or an item from their gift registry. Only one person bothered to send us a thank you note, and we were not thanked in person either by the others. These are educated, middle class people who should know that a thank you note is in order. I also heard one bride say that some of the guests at the wedding didn't give a gift big enough to cover the cost of their meal. I'm glad that when my husband and I got married, we went to a justice of the peace, invited no one, and paid the neighbors of the justice to be our witnesses. It sure simplified things and we have been married for nearly 46 years now.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    43
    Are you kidding me? People can be so oblivious and rude. I do, however, have to admit that I did briefly think "what?" after opening one of our wedding cards and finding three dollars from a family of 9 who attended our reception. But for goodness sake I only laughed about it privately with my husband and sent them a nice thank you card. Wedding presents are gifts for which you should have no expectation. Good grief!!!

    Sent from my VS840 4G using Tapatalk 2

  7. #7
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    That is not half as rude as I was expecting it to be.

    But that just goes to show you how rude I'm used to people being.


    I got my sister a grill for her wedding, I haven't given it to her yet, but knowing how graceful and sweet she is even if she got twenty she'd probably act like it was the greatest gift ever.






    Also, where did this wedding take place? I was looking at weddings and while they are more expensive than I'd like to pay, even at swanky places a nice meal was more like 20-50$ each, no where near 200$

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    wow.

    the point of the reception is to celebrate with loved ones and I would never expect to recoup my 'losses' through guests

    unreal ...

  9. #9
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    where the big sharks come to play
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    I feel bad for the new groom.....

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    "Look, if any of us wanted to mind our own business, we wouldn't be here" (carbuff 8/11/13)

    This post reflects my constitutionally-protected opinion. Please do not copy it anywhere else outside of the WebSleuth forum

  10. #10
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    Aug 2010
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    New England
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    Like others, just another reason I'm glad we got married (me with big 9 months preggo belly lol) at the courthouse. Not even a witness, just us two. DH cried, it was very sweet, our judge was a very friendly woman who congratulated us warmly, and we didn't have to deal with a single expense or headache to deal with.

    17 years this fall. Never regretted it, and I always advise my kids (the older ones anyway) to do the same lol.

    I cannot imagine the shallowness that leads to writing such a rude note.
    “Peace is not the product of terror or fear. Peace is not the silence of cemeteries. Peace is not the silent result of violent repression. Peace is the generous, tranquil contribution of all to the good of all." -Abp Oscar Romero


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Recent disgruntled brides ..
    http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/06/...perts_say.html
    "As for the wedding couple, “don’t have an event that is beyond your means. People forget what it is all about.”

    Simple math shows making up the cost of a wedding from your guests is highly unlikely.

    Mekdeci pointed to a U.S. survey that showed gifts generally range to $50 from an office acquaintance up to $150 for close family. With the average Toronto wedding costing $150 per guest for food, venue and drinks, that would mean a $300 gift from a couple just to break even.

    “The bride’s reaction is wrong. The best thing for her to do is keep her mouth shut and be grateful. You should make sure the people you invite are people you want at your wedding, to share your big day.”

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by dotr View Post
    Recent disgruntled brides ..
    http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/06/...perts_say.html
    "As for the wedding couple, “don’t have an event that is beyond your means. People forget what it is all about.”

    Simple math shows making up the cost of a wedding from your guests is highly unlikely.

    Mekdeci pointed to a U.S. survey that showed gifts generally range to $50 from an office acquaintance up to $150 for close family. With the average Toronto wedding costing $150 per guest for food, venue and drinks, that would mean a $300 gift from a couple just to break even.

    “The bride’s reaction is wrong. The best thing for her to do is keep her mouth shut and be grateful. You should make sure the people you invite are people you want at your wedding, to share your big day.”
    This article has the email exchanges; http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/06/...e_receipt.html

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steely Dan View Post
    This article has the email exchanges; http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/06/...e_receipt.html
    ... She says it cost $34,000 to host 210 guests at a local wedding hall. Mason was one of only two guests who didn’t gift at least $150 cash (the other gave a present in addition to cash).

    “I don’t know what day or century they’re living in … it must have been a regifted gift,” Laura says. “I just spent $200 for you and your guest to come and you guys must have given me $40 back.”

    She says Mason’s gift was the laughingstock of the wedding. At a post-wedding pool party the next day, friends and family stopped by the living room to get a look at the basket that’s still on display in their home....


    Personally, I think it's a very thoughtful gift. Every time they picnic as a couple they can take a piece of the wedding with them. Telling someone they are the laughingstock of a wedding is downright surley. I'm sure that when her current partner gets sick of her she might be more forgiving the next time someone agrees to marry her.

    Also, IIRC, it's the bride who makes the plans for a wedding. $34,000? Seriously? That's a significant down payment on a home. I say do the the local magistrate thing.

  14. #14
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    I can't believe how rude some brides are getting to be these days. When I got married, my one aunt gave me a gift of a glass jar full of buttons that she had collected by cutting them off clothing she was going to throw out. It was one of the most useful gifts I have ever received. I always had a button handy of every possible color, size, and kind to sew on a piece of clothing that had lost a button. Nearly 46 years later I still have the button jar, which has had buttons used from it and more added over the years. I think of my aunt every time I need to look through the jar to find a button I need.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jan View Post
    I can't believe how rude some brides are getting to be these days. When I got married, my one aunt gave me a gift of a glass jar full of buttons that she had collected by cutting them off clothing she was going to throw out. It was one of the most useful gifts I have ever received. I always had a button handy of every possible color, size, and kind to sew on a piece of clothing that had lost a button. Nearly 46 years later I still have the button jar, which has had buttons used from it and more added over the years. I think of my aunt every time I need to look through the jar to find a button I need.
    That's something this bridezilla couldn't possibly understand. What a great gift from your aunt and hopefully it will be passed along the family line. I think a gift from her grandmother of a portrait of the couple would be put in the attic forever. JMO

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