Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride

Steely Dan

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/02/wedding-gift_n_3535780.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride
The Huffington Post | By Kelsey Borresen Posted: 07/02/2013 5:13 pm EDT | Updated: 07/03/2013 1:55 pm EDT

Wow, talk about bad manners! On Friday, we received a truly horrifying email from one of our readers that would make etiquette guru Emily Post turn in her grave. The reader, Tanya, told us about a recent Facebook message she received from a bride after attending her wedding last month. In the message, the bride expressed her dissatisfaction with the $100 wedding gift she received from Tanya and her date. You can read the message for yourself below, but we must warn you: Your blood WILL boil....


My suggestion would be putting a comment on her wall.

"I'm so sorry that you got ripped off by your caterer. There is no way those plates were worth $200 a piece. You should have ordered McDonald's and then our $100 gift would be of greater significance and the food would have been better. If you would have put the per plate cost on your wedding invitations and ask that they be covered by the guests then it would have been much easier to decide if I wanted to attend your wedding or not. To be honest with my school bills and other expenses that have to be taken care of on minimum wage I could really have used that for myself. Had I known that the wedding would be an obvious rip off of the bride (I wouldn't tell anyone else the plate cost) and that I'd be expected to help pay off the robbers I would have passed. Anyway, have a nice life together.
 
Darling, thank you for your message. If we had known that the food cost $200 I am sure we would have enjoyed it more. May I suggest that the next time you get married you sell tickets or enclose a bill with the invites. It is best to be prepared. I can also recommend some caterers who will offer you a better menu for a price you can afford with your income. As for your other concern, I do not believe you need to worry about the inconvenience of buying a gift for my wedding. Please consider what you will save as our contribution to your remaining debt. Yours affectionately, etc.
 
Apparently this bride hoped to cover expenses through "ticket sales" and ideally realize a handsome profit while she was at it---through wedding gifts.

IMO she is so woefully uninformed and lacking in social sense that I think I would have a hard time wanting to remain friends with her. I would let the bride know that she could return the wedding gift if it did not "fit"....she could return it to me because it fits me perfectly and I can get a lot of wear out a hundred dollars.
 
Mr gracelin and I received a tacky, generic thank you note for a wedding we attended.
It was posted on facebook and addressed to all our friends and family who attended our wedding. I'm still shaking my head.
Yup! I would have posted this note public on my FB page in a heart beat. We gave the couple $100.00 cash. What is the new proper amount??
 
My husband and I have been to several weddings over the past few years where we gave the couple a check or an item from their gift registry. Only one person bothered to send us a thank you note, and we were not thanked in person either by the others. These are educated, middle class people who should know that a thank you note is in order. I also heard one bride say that some of the guests at the wedding didn't give a gift big enough to cover the cost of their meal. I'm glad that when my husband and I got married, we went to a justice of the peace, invited no one, and paid the neighbors of the justice to be our witnesses. It sure simplified things and we have been married for nearly 46 years now.
 
Are you kidding me? People can be so oblivious and rude. I do, however, have to admit that I did briefly think "what?" after opening one of our wedding cards and finding three dollars from a family of 9 who attended our reception. But for goodness sake I only laughed about it privately with my husband and sent them a nice thank you card. Wedding presents are gifts for which you should have no expectation. Good grief!!!

Sent from my VS840 4G using Tapatalk 2
 
That is not half as rude as I was expecting it to be.

But that just goes to show you how rude I'm used to people being.


I got my sister a grill for her wedding, I haven't given it to her yet, but knowing how graceful and sweet she is even if she got twenty she'd probably act like it was the greatest gift ever.






Also, where did this wedding take place? I was looking at weddings and while they are more expensive than I'd like to pay, even at swanky places a nice meal was more like 20-50$ each, no where near 200$
 
wow.

the point of the reception is to celebrate with loved ones and I would never expect to recoup my 'losses' through guests

unreal ...
 
Like others, just another reason I'm glad we got married (me with big 9 months preggo belly lol) at the courthouse. Not even a witness, just us two. DH cried, it was very sweet, our judge was a very friendly woman who congratulated us warmly, and we didn't have to deal with a single expense or headache to deal with. :heart:

17 years this fall. Never regretted it, and I always advise my kids (the older ones anyway) to do the same lol.

I cannot imagine the shallowness that leads to writing such a rude note.
 
Recent disgruntled brides ..
http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/06...ide_guest_both_made_mistakes_experts_say.html
"As for the wedding couple, “don’t have an event that is beyond your means. People forget what it is all about.”

Simple math shows making up the cost of a wedding from your guests is highly unlikely.

Mekdeci pointed to a U.S. survey that showed gifts generally range to $50 from an office acquaintance up to $150 for close family. With the average Toronto wedding costing $150 per guest for food, venue and drinks, that would mean a $300 gift from a couple just to break even.

“The bride’s reaction is wrong. The best thing for her to do is keep her mouth shut and be grateful. You should make sure the people you invite are people you want at your wedding, to share your big day.”
 
Recent disgruntled brides ..
http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/06...ide_guest_both_made_mistakes_experts_say.html
"As for the wedding couple, “don’t have an event that is beyond your means. People forget what it is all about.”

Simple math shows making up the cost of a wedding from your guests is highly unlikely.

Mekdeci pointed to a U.S. survey that showed gifts generally range to $50 from an office acquaintance up to $150 for close family. With the average Toronto wedding costing $150 per guest for food, venue and drinks, that would mean a $300 gift from a couple just to break even.

“The bride’s reaction is wrong. The best thing for her to do is keep her mouth shut and be grateful. You should make sure the people you invite are people you want at your wedding, to share your big day.”

This article has the email exchanges; http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/06...ntrol_after_bride_demands_to_see_receipt.html
 

... She says it cost $34,000 to host 210 guests at a local wedding hall. Mason was one of only two guests who didn’t gift at least $150 cash (the other gave a present in addition to cash).

“I don’t know what day or century they’re living in … it must have been a regifted gift,” Laura says. “I just spent $200 for you and your guest to come and you guys must have given me $40 back.”

She says Mason’s gift was the laughingstock of the wedding. At a post-wedding pool party the next day, friends and family stopped by the living room to get a look at the basket that’s still on display in their home....


Personally, I think it's a very thoughtful gift. Every time they picnic as a couple they can take a piece of the wedding with them. Telling someone they are the laughingstock of a wedding is downright surley. I'm sure that when her current partner gets sick of her :censored: she might be more forgiving the next time someone agrees to marry her. :rolleyes:

Also, IIRC, it's the bride who makes the plans for a wedding. $34,000? Seriously? That's a significant down payment on a home. :eek: I say do the the local magistrate thing.
 
I can't believe how rude some brides are getting to be these days. When I got married, my one aunt gave me a gift of a glass jar full of buttons that she had collected by cutting them off clothing she was going to throw out. It was one of the most useful gifts I have ever received. I always had a button handy of every possible color, size, and kind to sew on a piece of clothing that had lost a button. Nearly 46 years later I still have the button jar, which has had buttons used from it and more added over the years. I think of my aunt every time I need to look through the jar to find a button I need.
 
I can't believe how rude some brides are getting to be these days. When I got married, my one aunt gave me a gift of a glass jar full of buttons that she had collected by cutting them off clothing she was going to throw out. It was one of the most useful gifts I have ever received. I always had a button handy of every possible color, size, and kind to sew on a piece of clothing that had lost a button. Nearly 46 years later I still have the button jar, which has had buttons used from it and more added over the years. I think of my aunt every time I need to look through the jar to find a button I need.

That's something this bridezilla couldn't possibly understand. What a great gift from your aunt and hopefully it will be passed along the family line. I think a gift from her grandmother of a portrait of the couple would be put in the attic forever. JMO
 
I can't believe how rude some brides are getting to be these days. When I got married, my one aunt gave me a gift of a glass jar full of buttons that she had collected by cutting them off clothing she was going to throw out. It was one of the most useful gifts I have ever received. I always had a button handy of every possible color, size, and kind to sew on a piece of clothing that had lost a button. Nearly 46 years later I still have the button jar, which has had buttons used from it and more added over the years. I think of my aunt every time I need to look through the jar to find a button I need.

I think the button jar was a great gift. It's one of those things that you may not think of needing until you really need it. It's timeless and sentimental as well. I love it. Reminds me of the jar I have of button that I just got from my gram who is in her 90's. i recognize some of the buttons from her and some from a collection my great gram had. Anyway, what a unique gift!!

As for my wedding, well, it was so stress free. We had it out by the lil bayou on Mr Swamp's parent's house. I told everyone to dress casual, don;t bother with a gift and let the kids wear play clothes cuz I knew they would end up in the bayou anyway. As we said our vows, there were about a dozen barefoot kids wading in the bayou about 10 feet behind us. Priceless!! Then we ate MawMaw awesome homemade spaghetti sauce and pasta. A great time was had by all. Luckily, I am surrounded by family and friends who don;t give a rat's butt about impressing anyone or putting on airs about stuff.

What a pity that the bride feels she has to spend such money to be happy and to think that others should have to finance it. Good luck in life with an attitude like that!! She is bound to be miserable all her life. Her poor hubby!!
 
I think the button jar was a great gift. It's one of those things that you may not think of needing until you really need it. It's timeless and sentimental as well. I love it. Reminds me of the jar I have of button that I just got from my gram who is in her 90's. i recognize some of the buttons from her and some from a collection my great gram had. Anyway, what a unique gift!!

As for my wedding, well, it was so stress free. We had it out by the lil bayou on Mr Swamp's parent's house. I told everyone to dress casual, don;t bother with a gift and let the kids wear play clothes cuz I knew they would end up in the bayou anyway. As we said our vows, there were about a dozen barefoot kids wading in the bayou about 10 feet behind us. Priceless!! Then we ate MawMaw awesome homemade spaghetti sauce and pasta. A great time was had by all. Luckily, I am surrounded by family and friends who don;t give a rat's butt about impressing anyone or putting on airs about stuff.

What a pity that the bride feels she has to spend such money to be happy and to think that others should have to finance it. Good luck in life with an attitude like that!! She is bound to be miserable all her life. Her poor hubby!!

BBM

Please tell me "MawMaw" wasn't your grandmother!! :please:

Also, how many of the wading kids got eaten by gators?
 
This is one of my favorite pics from my wedding. The kids had an absolute blast. It was such a nice, stress free and enjoyable day. That's the kids behind us during the short but sweet ceremony.
 

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... She says it cost $34,000 to host 210 guests at a local wedding hall. Mason was one of only two guests who didn’t gift at least $150 cash (the other gave a present in addition to cash).

“I don’t know what day or century they’re living in … it must have been a regifted gift,” Laura says. “I just spent $200 for you and your guest to come and you guys must have given me $40 back.”

She says Mason’s gift was the laughingstock of the wedding. At a post-wedding pool party the next day, friends and family stopped by the living room to get a look at the basket that’s still on display in their home....


Personally, I think it's a very thoughtful gift. Every time they picnic as a couple they can take a piece of the wedding with them. Telling someone they are the laughingstock of a wedding is downright surley. I'm sure that when her current partner gets sick of her :censored: she might be more forgiving the next time someone agrees to marry her. :rolleyes:

Also, IIRC, it's the bride who makes the plans for a wedding. $34,000? Seriously? That's a significant down payment on a home. :eek: I say do the the local magistrate thing.

210 X $150 = $31,500. Reception cost $34,000. Exposing bridezilla as a money hungry biotch - priceless. I doubt she was the one who paid for the reception. Call the bank and a stop payment on it.
 
The guests aren't supposed to pay for any part of the wedding--As a bride, if you're lucky enough, and your family can afford to, tradition says they're supposed to help pay for the wedding. If not, then you don't plan a $34,000 wedding, or you do--knowing that you are responsible for the bill and you don't put someone down/embarass them for their gift. I had people attend my wedding & reception who didn't even give us a card, but I didn't invite them with the intention of receiving anything but their company. Some of the gifts we got, like homemade incense, were better than the things we put on our registry.
 

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