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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Woman Fingers Ex-Girlfriend In Sex Toy Theft

    JULY 24--Florida police are investigating the theft of “three strap-on dildos” that were allegedly taken from a storage unit by a female suspect after she broke up with her girlfriend following a rocky year-long relationship.

    Rivera, who said she was unable to contact her ex about the missing dildos, surmised that the suspect “temporarily removed the items in an attempt to get back together with her, depriving Rivera the use of the property.”

    The disappearance of the dildos has been classified as a possible grand theft, and the investigation remains open, according to a sheriff’s report.

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documen...-heist-9182345

    I love Florida.

  2. #2
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    Sep 2011
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    Wink

    I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title.
    Anything worth dewing, is worth dewing well!
    Proud parent of 3 rescued schnauzers

  3. #3
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    Jan 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dewey2Me1MoThyme View Post
    I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title.
    Me too! I'm fresh off posting with much hilarity (and immaturity) in the Anthony Weiner thread so I already had a huge case of the giggles. This is hysterical.
    Last edited by Snoods; 07-24-2013 at 03:27 PM. Reason: added
    Rescuing one animal may not change the world, but for that one animal their world is changed forever! -Unknown

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    WTH! i rubbed my eyes a few times. I just read the first 3 words! WS oh my........
    Rest in Peace John 08/09/86-04/24/2014.

    Husband, father and son. I miss you and so does your son.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dewey2Me1MoThyme View Post
    I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title.
    And this line "classified as a possible grand theft". I guess they do come in different sizes, from petty to grand theft.

  6. #6
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    I'm wondering if this case was a hard one for the detectives?
    Anything worth dewing, is worth dewing well!
    Proud parent of 3 rescued schnauzers

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dewey2Me1MoThyme View Post
    I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title.
    Me too!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    In my own little corner in my own little chair
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    Steely, I thought for sure you were the one who started this thread!
    May you dream you are dreaming in a warm soft bed
    and the voices inside you that fill you with dread
    make the sounds of thousands of angels instead
    tonight where you might be laying your head.
    I wish you well.
    ~~~~~~~~~~Patty Griffin~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~Nobody's Crying~~~~~~~~



    My posts are my own opinion, unless a link is included.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by john's mom View Post
    Steely, I thought for sure you were the one who started this thread!
    TS is funnier than I am.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    5,071
    I have to admit, I thought it must be something really expensive like a Sybian.

    Googling that is NSFW.
    “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.” -- Terry Pratchett


  11. #11
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    Jul 2011
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    You've priced them? Been shopping have you? I'd steer clear of used machines.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArianeEmory View Post
    I have to admit, I thought it must be something really expensive like a Sybian.

    Googling that is NSFW.
    Fortunately I wasn't at work because I googled Sybian before I googled NSFW!
    Rescuing one animal may not change the world, but for that one animal their world is changed forever! -Unknown

  13. #13
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    Jul 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dewey2Me1MoThyme View Post
    I'm wondering if this case was a hard one for the detectives?
    "Yes Ma'am, please describe the stolen items....... Vibrating? No Ma'am I'm not trying to be funny. We're going to need a DNA sample. No Ma'am I'm not smirking, just a bit of gas." "Like family..... yes Ma'am we get that".

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snoods View Post
    Fortunately I wasn't at work because I googled Sybian before I googled NSFW!
    Haha, I tried!
    “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.” -- Terry Pratchett

  15. #15
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    May 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrackerSam View Post
    You've priced them? Been shopping have you? I'd steer clear of used machines.
    I have no memory of the events in question.
    “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.” -- Terry Pratchett

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