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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    17,226

    Texas Dad makes son wear "Bully" sign on street

    ....stand on a streetcorner this week with a sign reading, “I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies."

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/10/06...cmp=latestnews



    Father criticized for shaming bully son makes sign of his own: 'I am not sorry!'

    After some criticized Lagares' punishment as being too harsh, he returned to the corner with a sign saying he had no regrets for his methods.

    ---------------

    "I'm not going to allow my child to be someone else's pain.
    We don't need another Columbine."


    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...#ixzz2h3YJDrnM

  2. #2
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    Jan 2011
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    I have mixed feelings. Dads heart seems to be in the right place, but I'm not too sure about his methods. Shaming his son might just build anger inside so that might result in more bullying. I wonder has he tried talking to the boy or considered counseling?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Rockport, TX
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    Shame is a useful learning tool if used appropriately. Why in the world should someone not feel shame for something done wrong. I just don't understand that sentiment.


    The bigger problem is when your child never learns shame.

  4. #4
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    Jan 2012
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    Indiana
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    I disagree with the fathers approach. Most likely there is a deeper reason why the boy is being a bully. The father says in the video, he has tried every punishment he can think of, but he didn't say anything about counseling to get to the root of the problem.

    Here is the video:

    http://www.wwlp.com/news/national/bu...cally-punished

  5. #5
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    Aug 2009
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    yep, dad can do no right in some people`s eyes

    at least he`s trying

  6. #6
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    May 2013
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    5,071
    The irony here is killing me.
    “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.” -- Terry Pratchett

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeginnersLuck View Post
    I disagree with the fathers approach. Most likely there is a deeper reason why the boy is being a bully. The father says in the video, he has tried every punishment he can think of, but he didn't say anything about counseling to get to the root of the problem.

    Here is the video:

    http://www.wwlp.com/news/national/bu...cally-punished
    the deeper reason is that we`re primal animals and it is a natural component of social behaviour

    look at any social animal group for similarities

    the difference is that we human beings have higher brain function which allows us to shame one another out of behaviour we dislike

    heck, other animals have the shaming technique too - just that theirs is more violent (more primal)

    in this case, perhaps this kid wasn`t shamed early enough in his life and so the parent has to use a more extreme method now (many children only need a gentle talking to when young)

    JMO. IMO. MOO.

  8. #8
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    Jan 2012
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    Indiana
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    Here is a article on understanding bullying and how to help them stop.

    http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotion...bullying.html#

    There "could" be a number of things going on in the boys life and he is reacting by lashing out at others. I'm just not sitting real well with public humiliation being the answer to his problem. IMO, there is a good chance that it will result in more issues.

  9. #9
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    Apr 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArianeEmory View Post
    The irony here is killing me.
    There is no irony, imo. Bullies publicly shame people for that of which they should not be ashamed. The father is publicly shaming his child for that of which he should be ashamed, but for some reason, is not. Big distinction, imo.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    6,481
    I find this method of punishing a child absolutely disgusting. I highly doubt it teaches the child anything but how to hold vast resentment for the parents.

    It smacks of desperate acts by parents who should probably have put a great deal more time and care into teaching their kids how to behave in the first place.

    If a parent has to resort to emotional abuse at this level to get the message across it MIGHT be time for counselling or a child psych/family assessment to see what's really going on.
    _____________
    Everything I have posted at this website, past or present, represents my opinion or my understanding of events based on facts that are publicly available.


  11. #11
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    Oct 2012
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    Melbourne, Australia
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    I think there is a difference between shaming and humiliation. Imo, this father was humiliating his son. Labelling the boy a bully and getting a bunch of strangers to express hatred towards him could backfire.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    SF Bay Area, CA
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    24,159

    Thumbs down

    It boils down to: Two wrongs don't make a right. Victimizing the bully, while it might feel good, isn't ultimately the way to teach him bullying is wrong, and may turn him into more of a bully.
    This is the year to locate Mark Dribin http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ht=Mark+Dribin NamUs MP#876 and Ilene Misheloff http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...lene+Misheloff NamUs MP#6410 and bring them home to their families!

    Parents watch your children. Free-range parenting leads to more child victims.

    Cruelty to humans begins with cruelty to animals.

    I believe in closure, not forgiveness. I'm also unapologetically judgemental.

    JeSuisJuif
    JeSuisCharlie


  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    12,667
    I think he wanted his son to see what it really felt like. I just have never had this issue so I don't how it feels to be frustrated over a child who is a bully.

    I get his point and maybe this is the thing that will resonate with the boy. We don't know. But I much rather see a father do something than nothing.. To stand up to his child and say this is not okay and follow through then let him continue the behavior and do nothing.
    Atticus Finch: “You never really understand a person . . . until you consider things from his point of view.” To Kill A Mockingbird

    All my posts are my opinion only.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    1,396
    Yeah.. it's really hard to guess what is right.

    But, if the kid was pretending like he was never getting punished no matter what he did, then maybe the father wanted everyone to know that the kid was not getting a pass at home? Different punishments are effective on different people.

    I don't have kids, so I have no idea what to do.

  15. #15
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    Oct 2009
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    36,315
    I would have been A-okay if the "honk if you HATE bullies" part was not included. I am all for making a child know there is certain behavior that is shameful. That they SHOULD be ashamed to commit.

    I am not for encouraging others to "hate" my child or his behavior.

    there is a middle ground here and I feel this guy crossed it with that bit. MOO
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