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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    1,100

    My son is being bullied

    My oldest kiddo just turned 12 and is in 6th grade. In this district there's one school for 6/7th grades so its a new school and he has to ride the bus. This is where the biggest problem is. There seems to be little control on the bus and the same three kids that bullied him in 4th and 5th grade unfortunately ride his bus. We've had a few problems with them this year already, so much so that my son has a reserved seat directly behind the driver. I thought this would solve the problem.

    So yesterday he gets off the bus and I'm sitting maybe one driveway away in my car and I see a girl walk up and talk to him. I think yay he's making friends. Nope. He gets in the car looking mad and says she handed him a note from the three boys. It said "get this c-sucker off our bus". Classy. My son wouldn't even say the word, I had to go get the note he'd thrown on the ground.

    So I come home, call the school, and report it. I switched his bus and demanded they do something. These kids have been getting away with this for years. Last year my son ended up eating his lunch in the office and spending recesses in the library because these boys couldn't be controlled. Its ridiculous! Im so frustrated and mad. He doesn't even want to go to school because he's worried they'll be mad because he told on them.

    How long should I wait for action to be taken? Will I even be told? Anyone else with experience with this horrible situation?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Tara
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    Action should have been taken immediately IMO. Follow up every day, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Do you know these kids? Can you talk to their parents? I would also make a police report. This stuff is ZERO-tolerated here in CT:

    http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?se...rbs&id=9271516
    Proud WS N-LIB

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    1,100
    Quote Originally Posted by PMLsmom View Post
    Action should have been taken immediately IMO. Follow up every day, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Do you know these kids? Can you talk to their parents? I would also make a police report. This stuff is ZERO-tolerated here in CT:

    http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?se...rbs&id=9271516
    I know who the kids are by looking up their last names in the yearbook but have never had any contact with their parents. I've thought about following them from the bus stop then going back when I think adults will be home, but it makes me feel stalkerish and who knows what kinda nutcases I might run into.

    I just don't want this to be another case of just moving my son but the bullies going unpunished. Two of them play football and I'm going to push for then to be suspended from the team. See how they like that!

    Here in Oklahoma its supposed to be no tolerance on bullying but it doesn't seem to get taken seriously. Very frustrating.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Tara
    Posts
    2,754
    Wow, go to the coach, he isn't gonna like that. What does the bus driver do/say? Anything? Aren't they considered reporters of abuse? You still have the note? Show everyone that, but don't give it to anyone but the police. This is what I have always told my DS (who is 15), just make it through - life begins AFTER high school.

    Here is a great on-line, free, public school...see if it is available in your town. I had my DS in it in CA, but it isn't available here in CT. I was working, my DH was across the country, so DS stayed home alone and did his work (with surrogate grandma living next door). They have teacher liaisons that meet with you, group outings, on-line discussions with other students, you get all the curriculum needed (free), and they will send you a computer and printer if needed (free)...GREAT program...

    http://www.k12.com

    Hugs, prayers, and wish you luck!
    Proud WS N-LIB

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,100
    Since it happened outside the bus, I don't know if the driver even knew what was going on. That driver doesn't seem to enforce rules. I'm much happier with the new one.

    I'd love to do online school with him but my husband it dead set against it. I don't think he relates to our son since he was Mr popular football guy with lots of friends. He's of the "just suck it up" train of thought.

    I emailed the principal to see if anything was found on video and what they're doing next. I hope they don't drop the ball again.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Tara
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    Tell your DH it isn't about HIM, it's about the welfare (mental and physical) of your DS. I didn't even ask my DH, I TOLD him what I was going to do, to ensure the safety of my son (otherwise I was gonna get arrested for protecting him, lol).

    Also, the local Christian jr. and senior high schools in my old area let homeschoolers participate on all of the sports teams...
    Proud WS N-LIB

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Got called in for a meeting.

    Hoping this goes well.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    818
    I really hope they do something about it. I feel bad for your son, and I would likely have removed my child from the situation too. It seems to me it will be equally as bad now, if not worse, because in his leaving the bus he was on before, the bullies have now won. They have had their bullying ways reinforced, because what they were trying to achieve in bullying him, they got done.

    I truly hope the school will do something to punish them and make them stop bullying.

  9. #9
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    Tara
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    Sending you positive thoughts, prayers that this will now end, and your DS will be okay...Let us know how it went...
    Proud WS N-LIB

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    17,225
    Pinki -
    I hope that this gets resolved quickly.
    I also wanted to make sure you realized that this thread is in the public forum and can be read by quests.
    (I'm sure the mods let you know when they moved it, but I just wanted to make sure!)


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    SF Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    24,159
    No suggestions, but force the school to deal with it. Your son shouldn't have to be the one to leave. I was bullied in 4th-6th grade and my life was a living hell. Fortunately it ended in 7th grade when I got to Jr. High, new school with kids from 3 other elementary schools and the bullies lost all the power they had, nobody knew them and new people gave me a chance!!!
    This is the year to locate Mark Dribin http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ht=Mark+Dribin NamUs MP#876 and Ilene Misheloff http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...lene+Misheloff NamUs MP#6410 and bring them home to their families!

    Parents watch your children. Free-range parenting leads to more child victims.

    Cruelty to humans begins with cruelty to animals.

    I believe in closure, not forgiveness. I'm also unapologetically judgemental.

    JeSuisJuif
    JeSuisCharlie


  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    16,021
    I'm so sorry, PG. Middle School is really Lord of the Flies. And honestly - especially in a large public school - I don't know how it can be stopped. If we could solve the problem of bullying, we could solve the problem of war, murder, all the other terrible things humans do to each other.

    I have a 5th grader and a 7th grader. General bullying seemed to start around 4th grade and most kids this age learn pretty quickly that adults talk a lot about it, but we can't really do anything about it. We can't make people be kind to each other.

    My sons are extra large (my 7th grader is 6'1" and 200+ pounds) and naturally confident for their age....you'd think they wouldn't get picked on, but they do from time to time - often by tiny, angry kids who they could squash like bugs....go figure. As always, we just try to keep the lines of communication open - they talk to us when things happen and we discuss ways for them to address it and they both know that if it's "too much" for them, we will find other educational options. So far that has worked.

    I will keep you and your son in my heart!
    I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    where the big sharks come to play
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    5,569
    .....just a quick thought while you're working the situation out, Pinkie...

    maybe enroll your son in karate school? It may strenthen his confidence, and he'll get to make new friends. It's important that he learns how to defend himself in life anyway and to learn the tools to build up his self-esteem.

    Good luck with the situation at school.

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    "Look, if any of us wanted to mind our own business, we wouldn't be here" (carbuff 8/11/13)

    This post reflects my constitutionally-protected opinion. Please do not copy it anywhere else outside of the WebSleuth forum

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    14,189
    If the hubby isn't sympathetic, can he afford private school? If there is a better school in your town, there may be a state law that says you can get an immediate transfer. The bullying already going on for years is very troubling. If it were me, I'd try to get him into another district or really start raising he$$ with some parents, cops, school board. The threat of an older sister worked when one of my daughters got temporarily bullied, but probably wouldn't work with boys.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,192
    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    My oldest kiddo just turned 12 and is in 6th grade. In this district there's one school for 6/7th grades so its a new school and he has to ride the bus. This is where the biggest problem is. There seems to be little control on the bus and the same three kids that bullied him in 4th and 5th grade unfortunately ride his bus. We've had a few problems with them this year already, so much so that my son has a reserved seat directly behind the driver. I thought this would solve the problem.

    So yesterday he gets off the bus and I'm sitting maybe one driveway away in my car and I see a girl walk up and talk to him. I think yay he's making friends. Nope. He gets in the car looking mad and says she handed him a note from the three boys. It said "get this c-sucker off our bus". Classy. My son wouldn't even say the word, I had to go get the note he'd thrown on the ground.

    So I come home, call the school, and report it. I switched his bus and demanded they do something. These kids have been getting away with this for years. Last year my son ended up eating his lunch in the office and spending recesses in the library because these boys couldn't be controlled. Its ridiculous! Im so frustrated and mad. He doesn't even want to go to school because he's worried they'll be mad because he told on them.

    How long should I wait for action to be taken? Will I even be told? Anyone else with experience with this horrible situation?
    Oh Pink, I feel for you! Two weeks ago I had a chance to chat for 30 minutes with a bus driver. My daughter was bullied on the bus she drove. She didn't open up until I said my daughter is all grown up and is an A- student. She said honestly that her first responsibility is to drive safely. She said she can't drive a large vehicle and control the kids misbehaving. She said, as much as I complain, the children have more rights than me. Apparently, if a kid gets recommended to get kicked off a bus service, the parents complain that they work and can't drive their child to school.

    The girl delivering the note is as much a victim as your child.

    My experience is that it never was resolved until we moved her to a different school in which no one knew these bullies.

    All the best. Flinders

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