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  1. #31
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    If I don't hear back from the school tomorrow, I'll contact the Superintendent's office. No one has talked to my son about it yet so I have no idea what's going on.

    Thankfully he doesn't have any classes with the three bullies so he hasn't seen them at all. He seems pretty happy with the new bus but I want those kids punished somehow. They can't just shuffle him around to solve the problem!

  2. #32
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    Pink, I think talking to the superintendent's office is a good idea. I've worked with our district board and superintendent, through council PTA, and can tell you that your super will probably respond to a very generic policy question.

    "I am writing to ask what the policy in our district and with _____ school is toward curbing bullying. My son is currently being bullied and has been bullied in the past and the approach appears to be to isolate him during lunch and on the bus so that he is no longer available to the bullies or any other kids. As far as I know nothing has been done or said officially to the children who are bullying him. The only strategy seems to be to isolate my son. Is that the school district's policy on handling bullying on the bus and in the schools? I would welcome a chance to talk to you further. Regards, (and leave your phone number, address, and email address).

    Best wishes. if you go to the super saying your son is being bullied and don't ask about the bigger school district wide strategy for dealing with bullies I don't know that you'll get much response - as it would seem an individual concern rather than a district policy concern.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by CCmakes3 View Post
    You don't happen to have an older son or an older teenage friend/relative, do you? My 13-year-old gets bullied from time to time (he is just "that kid") but I can usually earn him a few weeks of relief by sending my very large 18-year-old son to pick him up from school every now and then. He basically just stands outside his car looking mean. I think this has a more desirable effect than me as a mom getting involved and risking him being labeled a "momma's boy." Kids are more afraid of older kids than they are of parents.

    Edited to add-- Duh! I just noticed you said this is your oldest son, but it doesn't have to be an older brother...any largish 15-20 year-old showing up at the bus stop to meet your son may do the trick. (Or perhaps a tough/gorgeous older female cousin??? Girls are just as scary as boys these days!).
    ;-) Bullies are usually superficial and easily impressed.
    Yes, very effective. And the support doesn't even have to be "threatening." My middle school son doesn't have a bullying issue, thank goodness. But my daughter has friends who still are in middle school and in 8th grade and they are, nonetheless, tasked with making a big deal of speaking to my son in the hallways, etc. This is to make sure his "social status" is as high as possible by having pretty, popular, older girls even acknowledge his existence. Obviously (at least I hope it's obvious) I had nothing to do with this. But my dd knows what middle school can be like, so she encouraged her friends to do it on her own. I don't condone the mind set, but it is what it is.

    jmo

  4. #34
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    Ask the school to set up a meeting with the boys parents and you. When my daughter had an issue with a little boy who wasn't bulling her, but just hanging on her all the time all I did was ask and the school set up a meeting. It was a way for us to all talk without anyone feeling intimidated. It also helped because it felt like the three of us (the principal, his parents and I) all could say our sides and come together to figure it out.

    If no one calls back go up to the school and make your presence known. You can call people all day long and be ignored, but usually when you go there and as to speak to someone you get helped.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by shygrl View Post
    Ask the school to set up a meeting with the boys parents and you. When my daughter had an issue with a little boy who wasn't bulling her, but just hanging on her all the time all I did was ask and the school set up a meeting. It was a way for us to all talk without anyone feeling intimidated. It also helped because it felt like the three of us (the principal, his parents and I) all could say our sides and come together to figure it out.

    If no one calls back go up to the school and make your presence known. You can call people all day long and be ignored, but usually when you go there and as to speak to someone you get helped.
    I had a similar situation that was worked out like this. However, I think the other parents had to agree to it. In my case they did and it all worked out really well. Solved the problem completely and there is no animosity between the families whatsoever. That said, it all depends on the parents' attitudes all the way around.

  6. #36
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    All you have to do is just confront this kid .you should nover have taken him off the bus in the first place get your kid into karate or is a dad at home all he has to do is speak up and the bully's will be so shocked that thier intimidation didnt work thats when your guy has the upper hand its scared by intimidation be as crazy as u can and u scare them off thats what the bully is doing well if you turn the tables it will end the problem and better then that it stops it for grade 7 8 9 10 11 12 for good...
    Everything I Write Is JMHO ..

  7. #37
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    I disagree. I don't believe we as parents have the right to reprimand someone else's child. Not only could it cause more problems for your child but their parents as well.

    This is a school responsibility imo. I've been through it. There was one incident with my son where I knew the other parent and after telling the mother about it, the bullying stopped. It was on a school bus too. Isn't there a counsellor on staff? If that doesn't work, I'd keep at it with the school principal and keep going up the ladder.

    And then there was my daughter. My kids went to private school and the bully here was the daughter of a very wealthy donor. It involved cyber bullying. I went through all the proper channels and nothing was being done. In desperation I finally ended up calling the police. They offered to go and talk to the parents. I was surprised and didn't realize that LE takes bullying very seriously. At that point I told the police that I'd try again with the school and did so mentioning that I'd filed a report with the police. The bullying stopped and my daughter rec'd an apology.

  8. #38
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    One thing to keep in mind....

    ... are situations like this: http://www.khou.com/news/local/High-school-girl-expelled-after-being-attacked-by-bully-227474401.html
    "A student from Stafford High School is expelled after a fight that her family said she didn't start.
    "It was Sept. 30 in the locker room at Stafford High and a student recorded the fight between Emily Ramirez and a classmate.
    "The video was spread around school and eventually found its way to Ramirez's mom." BBM
    I do not know who started the fight or if, as the article says- the other girl taunted her for a year, etc. Not drawing any conclusions about situation at the link, or your situation, PinkiGreen.

    W. all the cellphone cameras around, chances are good that physical confrontations at school or bus will be recorded.
    Those clips get circulated, many eventually on youtube, etc. and sometimes forwarded to school officials.

    Even if there is reported 'bullying history' whether physical or non-physical, against a teen, if the teen is 'drawn into' physical self-defense and hits back, there's a chance that teen may end up being disciplined by the school.

    JM and I may be wrong.

  9. #39
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    Gosh I'm sorry but I cannot believe what I'm hearing. You follow those kids home and talk to their parents!! How dare you be made to feel like you are some stalker. That is ridiculous. What kind of world is this where the school has the answer and is responsible for everything? Those parents are responsible and if they do not do something, you get evidence of these bullies and threaten a law suit or to publiclyhumiliate the parents.

    I'm serious, bullying will only stop when you stomp your feet and do something. It's not enough to cower in a corner and expect someone or something else to do something.

    Sorry I sound rough but bullying will not happen to someone like me who will take your **** and rub it in your face!
    __________________
    Disclaimer: I have a JD, but I am not licensed to practice. Therefore, do not interpret anything contained in my posts as legal advice - they are my personal opinion only.

  10. #40
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    Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the moms of two of the bullies and the principal. Now I know why those kids are such jerks. They accused me of writing the note myself and basically they think my kid is weird and that's why he gets bullied.

    Way to take responsibility for your kids! They're mad at me for telling on their kids and getting them in trouble. Not that they got in much trouble at all...2 day suspension. Which both moms told me didn't matter anyway since they'd just be playing Xbox together all day.

    The principal and I were both shocked by their attitudes. He even had a security guard walk me to my car because they were standing outside waiting for me.

    So great. Now I've got two trashy women mad at me. What is wrong with people??


  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the moms of two of the bullies and the principal. Now I know why those kids are such jerks. They accused me of writing the note myself and basically they think my kid is weird and that's why he gets bullied.

    Way to take responsibility for your kids! They're mad at me for telling on their kids and getting them in trouble. Not that they got in much trouble at all...2 day suspension. Which both moms told me didn't matter anyway since they'd just be playing Xbox together all day.

    The principal and I were both shocked by their attitudes. He even had a security guard walk me to my car because they were standing outside waiting for me.

    So great. Now I've got two trashy women mad at me. What is wrong with people??

    That is absolutely awful. It helps to cement the theory that bullying behavior is taught at home. I feel awful for you and your son. No matter how "weird" a person is, they never deserve to be bullied.

    Is moving to another school in the area a possibility?

  12. #42
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    PinkiGreen

    Sorry that your son is going through this and
    you're going through it as well.

    I sent you a PM. In case you have not seen it,
    at top right of screen, check the welcome and click on "Notifications."


  13. #43
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    Unhappy

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the moms of two of the bullies and the principal. Now I know why those kids are such jerks. They accused me of writing the note myself and basically they think my kid is weird and that's why he gets bullied.

    Way to take responsibility for your kids! They're mad at me for telling on their kids and getting them in trouble. Not that they got in much trouble at all...2 day suspension. Which both moms told me didn't matter anyway since they'd just be playing Xbox together all day.

    The principal and I were both shocked by their attitudes. He even had a security guard walk me to my car because they were standing outside waiting for me.

    So great. Now I've got two trashy women mad at me. What is wrong with people??
    I'm sorry for you. At least the principal is on your side, but now that you know that the other parents aren't going to do anything about their children, I'd confront the children directly. Maybe the principal or the district can start an anti-bullying campaign at your school to educate these kids. We have a strong anti-bullying/zero tolerance policy in effect.
    Too bad you don't live where the sheriff that arrested the girls that bullied Rebecca Sedgwick live.
    This is the year to locate Mark Dribin http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ht=Mark+Dribin NamUs MP#876 and Ilene Misheloff http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...lene+Misheloff NamUs MP#6410 and bring them home to their families!

    Parents watch your children. Free-range parenting leads to more child victims.

    Cruelty to humans begins with cruelty to animals.

    I believe in closure, not forgiveness. I'm also unapologetically judgemental.

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  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the moms of two of the bullies and the principal. Now I know why those kids are such jerks. They accused me of writing the note myself and basically they think my kid is weird and that's why he gets bullied.

    Way to take responsibility for your kids! They're mad at me for telling on their kids and getting them in trouble. Not that they got in much trouble at all...2 day suspension. Which both moms told me didn't matter anyway since they'd just be playing Xbox together all day.

    The principal and I were both shocked by their attitudes. He even had a security guard walk me to my car because they were standing outside waiting for me.

    So great. Now I've got two trashy women mad at me. What is wrong with people??
    I am so sorry. There is really nothing that can be done about people like that. As a person who was bullied mercilessly as a kid, I think knowing that the parents are also bullies might actually give your son some comfort and make the bullying seem less "personal." I gradually learned that some people are just bullies and it had nothing to do with me.

    I always tell my son that if he ever sees anyone ELSE being bullied to be sure and stick up for them. I figure not only would it be empowering for him, but it would increase the chances that someone would return the favor when HE is being bullied. Besides, it's easier to think of a comeback when you are not the target.

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the moms of two of the bullies and the principal. Now I know why those kids are such jerks. They accused me of writing the note myself and basically they think my kid is weird and that's why he gets bullied.

    Way to take responsibility for your kids! They're mad at me for telling on their kids and getting them in trouble. Not that they got in much trouble at all...2 day suspension. Which both moms told me didn't matter anyway since they'd just be playing Xbox together all day.

    The principal and I were both shocked by their attitudes. He even had a security guard walk me to my car because they were standing outside waiting for me.

    So great. Now I've got two trashy women mad at me. What is wrong with people??
    It's no wonder their children are bullies. Children learn from observation. When a parent models that hateful behavior, chances are their kids will behave the same way.

    Or more simply put, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree".

    One of my daughter's friends was suddenly ostracized by her old elementary school friends (this is their first year in a magnet middle school). On the first day of school, she was told to go sit at another table in the cafeteria. When this girl's mom spoke to one of the other girls' moms, the mom just said "yeah, I know, but S****** really wants to be popular". WTF???

    Those girls had been friends since preschool.

    My own daughter has had her old elementary friends snub her because she is not a cheerleader and she does not have a boyfriend already. Um. Sixth grade. Yeah. Future harlots of America.

    But I tell you, if I found out my Lil Knot was pulling that crap on another child, I would yank a knot in her tail! What kind of BS answer is "yeah, I know but my kid really wants to be popular and so she had to cut your kid loose"? And how can any parent be okay with that?

    I am a really old grownup and I want to pinch off the rude little heads of these snotty kids. .

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