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  1. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the moms of two of the bullies and the principal. Now I know why those kids are such jerks. They accused me of writing the note myself and basically they think my kid is weird and that's why he gets bullied.

    Way to take responsibility for your kids! They're mad at me for telling on their kids and getting them in trouble. Not that they got in much trouble at all...2 day suspension. Which both moms told me didn't matter anyway since they'd just be playing Xbox together all day.

    The principal and I were both shocked by their attitudes. He even had a security guard walk me to my car because they were standing outside waiting for me.

    So great. Now I've got two trashy women mad at me. What is wrong with people??
    PinkiGreen, I'm sorry that this has happened to you and to your son. It doesn't surprise me at all the outcome. I'm sure those boys are bullied at home (no excuse) by their parents, how else did they learn it. I would keep pushing it through and stick to your beliefs. These boys should not be playing football. It seems like the school is continuing the bullying by having your son eat in the office. What didn't they have the boys sit in the office and write notes stating I will not bully - 1000 times each? I am so angry about kids getting bullied. I was bullied by two nasty girls in school. It's ridiculous.
    I believe it might help people to avoid being bullied to change their posture. Hold your head up when you walk and walk with confidence. Be strong and walk with your head up (head not looking at the floor) and shoulders back.

    It's true as well that people are bullied in the work place.

    When I was in about the 8th grade a boy was always getting picked on by the same boy every day after getting off the school bus. Finally, one day I was sick of it. I went up to the mean boy and got in his face and asked him why don't you pick on someone your own size? I don't recall what else I stated, but perhaps I said some things. Next thing I know he takes off running. Yeah, he's a coward. I already knew that. Then my best friend tells me that I am bleeding. I wiped bleed from my face and saw the blood. The boy lived about 3 doors from me and I went to his house to confront him and his mommy answered the door. I yelled at her "look what your son did to me." I had a small cut above my eye. I was very lucky that he missed my eye. He initially tried to stab my stomach with his switchblade (he had been taking a switchblade to school!) but I had an Army type jacket on that he couldn't get through.

    Anyway, when I was yelling at his mother the coward not once came out to greet me. His mother goes into this story about how much trouble she has controlling him. His parents were divorce and the coward was sent back by that weekend to live with his Dad in another city. I was happy for the boy that was always getting picked on by the coward.

    Good luck to you and to your son. You guys will prevail!


    You can choose to be bitter or better when handling your problems.


    My posts are just my opinion and for entertainment purposes only.
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  2. #47
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by PMLsmom View Post
    Action should have been taken immediately IMO. Follow up every day, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Do you know these kids? Can you talk to their parents? I would also make a police report. This stuff is ZERO-tolerated here in CT:

    http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?se...rbs&id=9271516
    our local PD actually WILL take reports of bullying at schools. id suggest calling your local PD for sure.

    im sorry your son is going through this I went through it in 7th grade and my daughter went through it in 1st grade
    dum spiro, spero

  3. #48
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    Apr 2012
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    I also want to suggest martial arts. I put my daughter in Krav Maga starting at age 6. It helped her a lot with confidence and well self defense!
    dum spiro, spero

  4. #49
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    1,100
    Little update :

    We switched buses and he hasn't had any contact with those kids since. Their school is so big that he never sees them.

    My son came up with an idea for a recycling program at his school, wrote the principal a letter about it, and is now starting his school's first ever recycling /conservation club. I'm super proud. He's such a great kid.

  5. #50
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    Jul 2012
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    Iowa
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    Little update :

    We switched buses and he hasn't had any contact with those kids since. Their school is so big that he never sees them.

    My son came up with an idea for a recycling program at his school, wrote the principal a letter about it, and is now starting his school's first ever recycling /conservation club. I'm super proud. He's such a great kid.
    I'm glad this is working out for you, however the "resolution" the school came up with does nothing but promote those little brats behavior.

    "Oh? So any kid we don't want riding our bus we just pick on and they will remove them? AWESOME!"

    What the school SHOULD have done was called those parents and told them their kids are no longer allowed school transportation and that THEY would be responsible for getting their kid to and from school each day OR they could pay for a para each month to ride with their kid on the bus to and from school to ensure everyone else's safety.

    Our school won't tolerate bus crap at all. You get one verbal, one written, and your off the bus for the remainder of the year, period.

    I am glad it's working out for you though...but sadly they are likely going to just move on to their next victim.

  6. #51
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    Dec 2012
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    SC
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisser View Post
    I really hope they do something about it. I feel bad for your son, and I would likely have removed my child from the situation too. It seems to me it will be equally as bad now, if not worse, because in his leaving the bus he was on before, the bullies have now won. They have had their bullying ways reinforced, because what they were trying to achieve in bullying him, they got done.

    I truly hope the school will do something to punish them and make them stop bullying.
    With the evidence of the note, and whatever the busdriver and other students can add, the bullies should be thrown off the bus, not your son.
    I remember seeing on Nancy Grace, a big, young, buff dad, whose daughter was being harrassed on the bus, and he got on (its on the bus film, wonder why the harrassment was not shown) and loudly told the punk-azzes, if he had to get back on here, somebody is going down. He got arrested. But, I bet his daughter never got bullied again. He also said it was worth it to get arrested. If Nancy ever followed thru, she would have had him back on in 6 months, to let us know the outcome.

  7. #52
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    Apr 2012
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    Colorado
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    my daughter is in a new school this year...a charter school. they don't put up with any bullying. zero tolerance. they also employed a new program that a lot of schools are doing called Watch D.O.G.S. where fathers volunteer to just be a presence in the school. it is suppose to help deter bullying and just be a good male role model in the schools.

    too bad more schools don't have this
    http://www.fathers.com/content/index...d=21&Itemid=60
    We believe every child needs a dad they can count on. The research is clear: children thrive when they have an involved father—someone who loves them, knows them, guides them, and helps them achieve their destiny. At the National Center for Fathering, we inspire and equip men to be the involved fathers, grandfathers and father figures their children need.

    How WATCH D.O.G.S. Works

    WATCH D.O.G.S., a K-12 program, invites fathers, grandfathers, uncles, or other father figures to volunteer at least one day all day at their child’s/student's school during the school year. Individuals sign up at a kick-off event such as a “Dads and Kids Pizza Night” or “Donuts with Dad” or in the office at any time throughout the school year. The program is overseen by a “Top Dog” volunteer who partners with the school administrator to coordinate scheduling and identify opportunities for WatchDOGS to provide assistance at the school. WatchDOG volunteers perform a variety of tasks during their volunteer day including monitoring the school entrance, assisting with unloading and loading of buses and cars, monitoring the lunch room, or helping in the classroom with a teacher's guidance by working with small groups of students on homework, flashcards, or spelling.
    dum spiro, spero

  8. #53
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    Aug 2004
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    Anchorage, AK
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkiGreen View Post
    Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the moms of two of the bullies and the principal. Now I know why those kids are such jerks. They accused me of writing the note myself and basically they think my kid is weird and that's why he gets bullied.
    Apparently your kid gets bullied because some other people's parents condone that behavior. Unbelievable.

    I'm sorry for your child, and you, and even for those kids who are being brought up to have no empathy. But not for those mothers.
    -Beth In Alaska

  9. #54
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    Aug 2014
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    East Tennessee
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    I would have said, if they start it, you absolutely finish it, and Dad & I will support you no matter what. He did, we did, and never another problem at school for my kid. Actually, he came to be known for his stance against this particular bully. What a boost to his confidence, mommy and daddy did not have to intervene.
    "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it."
    - John Irving in A Prayer for Owen Meany

    Unless I provide a link or refer to a specific link, all my ramblings are theories, speculation, scenarios based on what info is available and my own unique life experiences.

  10. #55
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    Aug 2014
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    Quote Originally Posted by rob View Post
    With the evidence of the note, and whatever the busdriver and other students can add, the bullies should be thrown off the bus, not your son.
    I remember seeing on Nancy Grace, a big, young, buff dad, whose daughter was being harrassed on the bus, and he got on (its on the bus film, wonder why the harrassment was not shown) and loudly told the punk-azzes, if he had to get back on here, somebody is going down. He got arrested. But, I bet his daughter never got bullied again. He also said it was worth it to get arrested. If Nancy ever followed thru, she would have had him back on in 6 months, to let us know the outcome.
    Respectfully, constantly intervening for your child after a certain age causes them to feel incompetent and lose self-confidence. These bullies will be in society, at work, everywhere. Best, if possible, safely, to allow them to take action for themselves and do not let those education wimps bully your kid into a suspension or admitting fault.
    "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it."
    - John Irving in A Prayer for Owen Meany

    Unless I provide a link or refer to a specific link, all my ramblings are theories, speculation, scenarios based on what info is available and my own unique life experiences.


  11. #56
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    Sep 2010
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    8,769
    Okay this might seem like I am joking, but I'm not. It could get your son suspended, but it's worth it. At lunch, go up to the bullies' table and pour liquid of choice on their heads. They will be humiliated. All the kids in the cafeteria will find it hysterical. I recommend toilet water. I am sure we can think of a great pun for him to use. The bullies will be forever known as the kids who got toilet water dumped on them in front of hundreds of students. Your son will also get a lot of popularity from doing this, which will give him more confidence, and it will lead to a lot of new friends.

  12. #57
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    Jun 2004
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    SF Bay Area, CA
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    24,159

    Thumbs down

    Quote Originally Posted by wendybtn View Post
    Respectfully, constantly intervening for your child after a certain age causes them to feel incompetent and lose self-confidence. These bullies will be in society, at work, everywhere. Best, if possible, safely, to allow them to take action for themselves and do not let those education wimps bully your kid into a suspension or admitting fault.
    Not if it means your kid gets pummeled. When I was pushed into a fight in 6th grade, I had noone to back me. They formed a ring around me expecting me to get pummeled. This was after 3 years of bullying and my mother and the teachers didn't do much. I dug my nails into this girl until I drew blood. It was the only way I knew to defend myself, but it worked, I hid the rest of the day and got left alone.
    This is the year to locate Mark Dribin http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ht=Mark+Dribin NamUs MP#876 and Ilene Misheloff http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...lene+Misheloff NamUs MP#6410 and bring them home to their families!

    Parents watch your children. Free-range parenting leads to more child victims.

    Cruelty to humans begins with cruelty to animals.

    I believe in closure, not forgiveness. I'm also unapologetically judgemental.

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  13. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by wendybtn View Post
    Respectfully, constantly intervening for your child after a certain age causes them to feel incompetent and lose self-confidence. These bullies will be in society, at work, everywhere. Best, if possible, safely, to allow them to take action for themselves and do not let those education wimps bully your kid into a suspension or admitting fault.
    I 250% agree with this. In the adult world we don't have bullying...we have harassment. I found a lot of the annoying behaviors stop when we aren't forced to be around people we don't much care for (mainly, school) but with the appropriate learned behaviors/tools, when we do have a malicious co-worker or something of the sort, there are more effective next steps to be taken (you've already done everything else on your own).

    Sent from my LG-D850 using Tapatalk

  14. #59
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    Jul 2010
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    If it was a perfect world, the bullies would be the ones eating lunch in the office and sitting behind the bus driver. It is possible that you are giving them ammunition by making it seem that "poor widdle boy's mommy has to fight his battles for him". It would be best if you could have all this happen behind the scenes, without them thinking either you OR your son was the "snitch". I think parking a little further from the bus, so your son doesn't look like a "baby" could help, and you would be close enough to get involved if need be.

    I generally think telling on bullies makes things worse, but at times in my life it was the best way to handle things.

    1. My sister was born with a minor birth defect. She is missing some fingers on one hand. When we were about 4 (her) and 6 (me) there was a bully in our neighborhood who was HORRIBLE. She would beat people up, and occasionally take a neighbor kid "hostage", tying them up and leaving them in her garage with (I kid you not) bread and water. Everyone was terrified of her. One day she told my sister to do something and she hauled off and punched the girl, who fell over. After that, all my sister had to do was blow on someone and they would make a big deal of being "knocked over" by her.

    2. I was about 9 and my sister was about 7. Because of the aforementioned physical deformity (birth defect, missing fingers on one hand) one of the boys on the bus was giving her a hard time. I was SO MAD that I verbally defended her and when we got home, our mom said she was going to call his mom. All I could think of was how much WORSE this would make things, but I was wrong. From that day on he was actually FRIENDLY and he and his sister often played with me and my sister afterward.

    3. In 8th grade, there was a "popular" girl who was always picking on me. She once shoved a piece of wire in my ear on the bus and punctured my eardrum. She regularly wrote on me with markers on the bus because I was assigned to sit beside her. At the time, my dad was in local government and he was often interviewed on the news, I had a teacher who would comment about having seen my dad on the news the night before. Somehow, my dad had managed to get pictured on the cover of a (trade) magazine. He got me a copy of the magazine and I was so excited to take it to school and show my teacher. But when I went to do so, I found that "someone" had scribbled out my father's face with pen. I was devastated, since I could not get another copy, and it was the only time he was ever on an actual magazine. I told the teacher who sent the miscreant to the principal. The decision was made to suspend her at the end of the school day. I was TERRIFIED to go to lunch that day, knowing she and her friends would be there, but she ignored me. None of her friends bothered me during her suspension. When she returned to school after the suspension, she and her friends left me alone.

    4. A couple of years ago, a job duty was assigned to me that I do not have to perform often. As a result, I would forget some of the steps, or miss a section of a form I needed to fill out. The man who collected the data I produced was calling me "airhead" and asking if I "took my stupid pills" that day. He probably meant to be funny, but more than once I closed my office door and cried over it. FINALLY I told my supervisor. She mentioned it to him, and he emailed me to ask when he could come up and apologize. I let him know that I did not need an apology, just a little more patience while I learned the finer points of this task. Ever since then he has been nice as can be. He just didn't realize my feelings were being hurt by his "jokes".

    So maybe confrontation is the way to go, but can you encourage your SON to take the lead on his own behalf?
    Last edited by LisaB; 08-04-2015 at 03:24 PM.
    WE DID IT! Convicted pedophile Donald Scott Brunstetter (details in the CAPER - Citizens Against Pedophile's Early Release Forum http://www.websleuths.com/forums/for...ht-on-Children) will remain behind bars for the duration of his sentence. Thanks to WS members, and Tricia's True Crime Radio listeners, at least 100 letters were received by the Parole Board prior to his July 30th, 2015 Parole Hearing, opposing his release, and they listened.
    Visit http://noparole4pedophile.weebly.com/ for background on the case.

    My posts are strictly MY opinion under circumstances when many points of view need to be considered. I apologize in advance to anyone whose potential involvement is contemplated in error, or who may be offended because I do not see eye to eye with them on all matters related to this case. I hope our differences can be set aside as we unite in the search for this victim or the perpetrator of this crime. Your opinions and insights are just as valuable as mine.

  15. #60
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    Jul 2013
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    Oh Pinki...I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. We have had to deal with bullies with 2 of our kids at different times. It just drains you. My kids requested that I not contact the school. I respected their wishes. I did, however, make my way onto the bus one day (got yelled at by driver...it's illegal here) but I made aure to make eye contact with the little a$$ that was harassing my kid. It got better from there on.

    It does get better. As they get older. Truth is...we, as parents, agonize much more over this than our kids (for the most part). We want happy, healthy, friendly and well liked kids.

    Hope things settle down. Hugs.
    IMO JMO
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