946 users online (185 members and 761 guests)  


Websleuths News


Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 55
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Heart of America
    Posts
    1,571

    HS Reunion- with the Bullies

    Has anyone else ever been invited to attend their HS reunion and had to confront issues with meeting up again after decades with people who bullied them back when? I doubt I'd be interested in any case in going but wonder if I ought to offer some excuse or simply tell the organizer I have issues with some people who will be there? It's been decades but what I experienced was so bad that it amazes me they even invited me. Input welcome.
    'Never stop fighting..never give up'

    Kevin Kostner as Eliott Ness in 'The Untouchables'

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Black Hills
    Posts
    6,243
    Quote Originally Posted by Snick1946 View Post
    Has anyone else ever been invited to attend their HS reunion and had to confront issues with meeting up again after decades with people who bullied them back when? I doubt I'd be interested in any case in going but wonder if I ought to offer some excuse or simply tell the organizer I have issues with some people who will be there? It's been decades but what I experienced was so bad that it amazes me they even invited me. Input welcome.
    BBM

    You don't owe anyone an explanation for your not attending.

    ****
    http://grandmotherscouncil.org/
    ****
    My Facebook page; I am grateful for the fact that two people who joined had colonoscopies, discovered cancer and are on the way to healing through treatment. Colonoscopies save lives! [A 3rd person has just been added. 8/7]

    www.facebook.com/WaitWhereAmIGoing
    ****
    https://www.tsu.co/JacieLin

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    ottumwa, ia
    Posts
    744
    I've had some of the bullies want to be "friends" on facebook--which I haven't kept up on due to lack of time. As a senior in high school I was bullied terrifically---I was valedictorian and in the last 2-3 months of school was accused of cheating. Truth is,I studied when every one else partied. This affected me greatly. I gave my speech--flipped off my class and have never been back. It led to major trust issues with other women in college which has been life-long. I even now prefer to interact with men on a professional basis rather than women. Women are back-stabbers... No way would I ever attend a reunion with these people. So I guess I have never resolved these issues....but, I'm okay. I'm a Pediatrician and have dedicated my life to my patients. No regrets here.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3,557
    I was bullied in school. I finally went to my 25th reunion. Lots of apologies and lots of hugs. Still friends with many of them today (30th coming up.) Some never change but most people 'grow out of it.' Many of 'my' bullies asked forgiveness - it had bothered them all of those years.

    Just my .02
    No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. - 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

    We are all one poor choice from being a subject on this forum. Think twice.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    10,154
    Quote Originally Posted by dr dona View Post
    I've had some of the bullies want to be "friends" on facebook--which I haven't kept up on due to lack of time. As a senior in high school I was bullied terrifically---I was valedictorian and in the last 2-3 months of school was accused of cheating. Truth is,I studied when every one else partied. This affected me greatly. I gave my speech--flipped off my class and have never been back. It led to major trust issues with other women in college which has been life-long. I even now prefer to interact with men on a professional basis rather than women. Women are back-stabbers... No way would I ever attend a reunion with these people. So I guess I have never resolved these issues....but, I'm okay. I'm a Pediatrician and have dedicated my life to my patients. No regrets here.
    [bbm]

    you flipped them off? that is awesome!

    that is like a scene from a movie - something we'd all like to do but most of us don't have the guts

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    10,154
    Snick1946 - I don't think you have to offer a reason. If you're not comfortable, just decline.

    Or ... go and show them all how amazing you became despite what they put you through.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Heart of America
    Posts
    1,571
    I've considered telling the organizer that I won't be coming for personal reasons and also sending him a brief account of my life since graduation, which would include 25 years as a caseworker for Social Services. Also that I am happily married and have a nice home and family.

    I sometimes wonder about these folks who seem rooted in their High School days. It seems a form of immaturity to me.
    'Never stop fighting..never give up'

    Kevin Kostner as Eliott Ness in 'The Untouchables'

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    21,743
    Quote Originally Posted by Snick1946 View Post
    Has anyone else ever been invited to attend their HS reunion and had to confront issues with meeting up again after decades with people who bullied them back when? I doubt I'd be interested in any case in going but wonder if I ought to offer some excuse or simply tell the organizer I have issues with some people who will be there? It's been decades but what I experienced was so bad that it amazes me they even invited me. Input welcome.
    Yes. I was bullied due to being Cherokee. I never brought it up, and my bullies have grown, matured, and become productive citizens. I made some new and wonderful friends, during mine! (the bullies) are now my friends.
    Media thread for Abby and Libby.


    http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...5#post13163455

    WebSleuths Lingo thread.

    http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...bsleuths-Lingo

    Unless I provide a link, every one of my posts are to be considered rumor, Speculation, or simply MY OWN OPINION.

    We are the watchers. We are witnesses. We see what has gone before. We see what happens now, at this dangerous moment in human history. We see what's going to happen - what will surely happen - unless we come together: we - the Peoples of all Nations - to restore peace and harmony and balance to the Earth, our Mother.


    THE IGNORE BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Georgia, USA
    Posts
    4,236
    As co-chair for all of my high school reunions, I have gotten comments & correspondence about how the cliques and boundaries no longer exist. While it may be particularly "fun" to see the hotshot jock who went on to play college football is now a bald blob & the homecoming queen's girdle (spanx from yesteryear) couldn't hide what had happened to her waist & hips, everyone was happy to see everyone at each meeting. We all share memories of the big snow day when system-wide, the teachers let us play out all day in 3 inches of snow (it was a BIG deal), the affable jokester who blew up the science lab making a stink bomb, remembering being at school when we heard JFK was assassinated, the teacher who picked her nose, the librarian we loved & who read to us the most wonderful stories, yadayadayada.

    One call that I'll share came from a girl who described herself as an "invisible nobody" who didn't attend until our 30th. She remembered herself as not popular, not pretty, average grades, unable to afford the "in" clothes, shoes & purses. Instead of a big university, she attended a vocational school where she met & married a nice guy, also a nobody, & moved to his hometown about a hundred miles away. Together they built a successful business & raised good kids. She admitted coming out of curiosity, just to see what had happened to others, & was shocked that anyone remembered her & was interested to hear about her life. She was genuinely blown away that her classmates cared & she regretted not having attended previously. And the cool thing was, she was truly a late-bloomer. The average-looking, poor girl became a very pretty lady with money in the bank. Karmic justice? I don't know, but stories like hers make me happy to have made the effort to track down our classmates.

    As for resentment for having been bullied, you'll have to decide. I know you mostly from the murder case & I see a nice guy: intelligent, educated, interesting, well-spoken (& well-traveled too?) Some of the most successful people in my school became miserable failures in life. It's wrong to expect school years to predict the rest of our lives. Real-life is what we are each day, not where we came from.

    Good luck to you Snick!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    30,906
    Quote Originally Posted by Snick1946 View Post
    I've considered telling the organizer that I won't be coming for personal reasons and also sending him a brief account of my life since graduation, which would include 25 years as a caseworker for Social Services. Also that I am happily married and have a nice home and family.



    I sometimes wonder about these folks who seem rooted in their High School days. It seems a form of immaturity to me.

    The best revenge is a life lived well. You won the life lottery! You're happy!

    You owe no one anything.

    I've never went to any of my high school reunions. I wasn't bullied, i just don't care enough about a bunch of people I haven't had contact with for over 20 years.
    I have maintained friendships with my highschool friends, don't really care about anyone else.
    If I did, I would have stayed in contact with them.



    Sent from my iPhone


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


    Nosy by Nature and a Websleuther by choice


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    128
    Quote Originally Posted by Snick1946 View Post
    I've considered telling the organizer that I won't be coming for personal reasons and also sending him a brief account of my life since graduation, which would include 25 years as a caseworker for Social Services. Also that I am happily married and have a nice home and family.

    I sometimes wonder about these folks who seem rooted in their High School days. It seems a form of immaturity to me.
    Forget the letter. OUCH! This is a party not a rerun of study hall nor wear our past woes on our sleeve..

    Just show up, looking like a million bucks, holding hands with your husband, circulate the room with a great smile and they will get the point. Most of us are happy for those who have made a good life. I was not bullied, but was an outsider to the "IN" crowd. Have gone to all 3 reunions looking like Las Vegas High Style. Great time. Actually, they don't care about us, but I was happy to "tweek their nose" in my adulthood. We had a gal who was Ms. Everything who never attended. When asked why, I was told "She got fat". OUCH! I loved seeing these people at the odd reunion over the years. Sadly also found out that some were dead, some suffered from mental issues and illness and some were living happily ever after, I want to be counted in the "happily" crowd.
    I don't think anyone is rooted in their HS days, but go to see and be seen. It's a reunion. Little skinny Joe still had a figure, hair and the best looking guy there. Many of the IN crowd footballers had gone sideways. My face hurt from laughing so much.
    The wonderful guy who always organized us died last fall and there will be no more.
    Last edited by Sherp; 05-09-2014 at 12:02 PM.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    SF Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    24,159

    Arrow

    Yes I have. Two of my bullies were at two different reunions. The one who initiated everything, actually said "hi" to me without me talking to him first, I was shocked. The other- I tried to talk to at the reunion was a jerk at the reunion, but I later found him on facebook, sent him a private chat and told him how he'd made my life a living hell for three years. He actually apologized. Unfortunately he's a producer on the show Grimm. I go GRRRR every time I see his name on screen.
    This is the year to locate Mark Dribin http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ht=Mark+Dribin NamUs MP#876 and Ilene Misheloff http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...lene+Misheloff NamUs MP#6410 and bring them home to their families!

    Parents watch your children. Free-range parenting leads to more child victims.

    Cruelty to humans begins with cruelty to animals.

    I believe in closure, not forgiveness. I'm also unapologetically judgemental.

    JeSuisJuif
    JeSuisCharlie


  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    63° 22'N 32° 17'W (It's In The Abyss.)
    Posts
    3,711
    Quote Originally Posted by noZme View Post
    As co-chair for all of my high school reunions, I have gotten comments & correspondence about how the cliques and boundaries no longer exist. While it may be particularly "fun" to see the hotshot jock who went on to play college football is now a bald blob & the homecoming queen's girdle (spanx from yesteryear) couldn't hide what had happened to her waist & hips, everyone was happy to see everyone at each meeting. We all share memories of the big snow day when system-wide, the teachers let us play out all day in 3 inches of snow (it was a BIG deal), the affable jokester who blew up the science lab making a stink bomb, remembering being at school when we heard JFK was assassinated, the teacher who picked her nose, the librarian we loved & who read to us the most wonderful stories, yadayadayada.

    One call that I'll share came from a girl who described herself as an "invisible nobody" who didn't attend until our 30th. She remembered herself as not popular, not pretty, average grades, unable to afford the "in" clothes, shoes & purses. Instead of a big university, she attended a vocational school where she met & married a nice guy, also a nobody, & moved to his hometown about a hundred miles away. Together they built a successful business & raised good kids. She admitted coming out of curiosity, just to see what had happened to others, & was shocked that anyone remembered her & was interested to hear about her life. She was genuinely blown away that her classmates cared & she regretted not having attended previously. And the cool thing was, she was truly a late-bloomer. The average-looking, poor girl became a very pretty lady with money in the bank. Karmic justice? I don't know, but stories like hers make me happy to have made the effort to track down our classmates.

    As for resentment for having been bullied, you'll have to decide. I know you mostly from the murder case & I see a nice guy: intelligent, educated, interesting, well-spoken (& well-traveled too?) Some of the most successful people in my school became miserable failures in life. It's wrong to expect school years to predict the rest of our lives. Real-life is what we are each day, not where we came from.

    Good luck to you Snick!
    So true.

    Some of the most successful and regarded people in history are late bloomers. Isaac Newton, St. Augustine Of Hippo, Albert Einstein, Sylvester Stallone, Colonial Sanders, and Grandma Moses are late bloomers.

    Than there are child prodigies who burn out by the age of 18.




    HMS Hood
    Mighty Hood
    Pennant Number: 51
    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
    May 15, 1920-May 24, 1941

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    46,758
    At my reunions, I have personally seen the bullies sincerely apologetic towards the people they bullied. I think you should go and enjoy yourself.
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

  15. #15
    A school bully I had is now on my Facebook, along with many schoolmates. Once he made a negative comment about my faith, but I just addressed him politely and it was fine. I've matured so much since high school that I assume most others have too. I've attended two class reunions and had a blast :-). Then again, I have been described as being a "party in a bottle".

    Follow your heart, is my advice.

Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 ... LastLast


Similar Threads

  1. My oh my, if the bullies could see her now
    By zwiebel in forum Bullies and Stalkers
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-27-2014, 03:28 AM
  2. Has Anyone Ever Profiled These Bullies
    By HMSHood in forum Bullies and Stalkers
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-18-2011, 12:12 AM
  3. For Bullies
    By pip in forum Bullies and Stalkers
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-27-2011, 11:02 PM

Tags for this Thread