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The Killing Season - Websleuths

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  1. #1
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    Sep 2010
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    Aussie Mum's epic 'MYOB' rant sparks others to speak up

    Not really ground-breaking news, but I've had rants like this boil up over my child-rearing years. Good on this woman for venting in social media and not at her child or husband!

    It seems a lot of mothers are really, really sick of unwanted input/judgemental eyeballing from total strangers.

    I have some stories of my own on this issue, and I can only thank goodness it's illegal to throw things at people - or I might have, some days.

    Have you ever felt like this?

    Have you ever been one of those people she's addressing?

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/mum...-1226935938139
    _____________
    Everything I have posted at this website, past or present, represents my opinion or my understanding of events based on facts that are publicly available.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    6,787
    Oh yes indeed.

    My daughter was in hopsital after surgery and her brother who was about 4 at the time, decided he wanted SOMETHING (can't remember, maybe something out of the coke machine) and I told him he couldn't have it as we were going home.

    Well as a Gold Medal tantrum chucker, off he went.

    I'm striding across the pedestrian crossing dragging the howling boy and out of sheer frustration and end of tetherness I snapped at him

    "For Gods sake, DS, will you please just shut up!"

    An old lady was coming the other way and as she passed me I heard her say "Charming".

    I swear, I nearly turned around and said, DO YOU WANT HIM???????? TAKE HIM!!! DO A BETTER JOB!!!!!! I WANT A COCKTAIL!
    Everything I post is my opinion only, can change at any time, and is not intended to replace fact.
    Critical Thinking is often criticised.
    KISS

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
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    503

    Aussie Mum's epic 'MYOB' rant sparks others to speak up

    nope to being one of the people addressed but yes to being in a similar position. my first one was the master of the tantrum and i remember having to pick him up and keep walking w a screeching, bawling toddler and seeing the look on some people's faces but also catching a wink, a smile or the guy that stopped his car to let me know how he admired me for my self control...priceless, he made me feel i wasn't the worst mother in the world


    lupus est homini homo, non homo, non quom qualis sit novit

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    41,447
    I still remember a very similar moment. I was dragging my 3 yr old son around a mall on about december 23rd. It had been a LONG day and he was so tired and so bored. I had been promising him for about 2 hrs, that our final stop would be See's Candy, and he could pick out a sucker when we got there.

    Finally, we got to See's, and the line was going out the front door. Probably an hour long to reach the front. I quickly tried to get someone in front to add one sucker to their purchases, but no one was having it. People were pointing to the end of the line.

    So I tried to tell my son that I already had some suckers wrapped at home, for his stocking, so we could just go home NOW and get one. He hurled himself onto the floor screaming YOU PROMISED, YOU PROMISED!!! He was in full meltdown mode and it was NOT HIS FAULT.

    People were looking at me disapprovingly, when the employee handed us one sucker. One old lady said he should get nothing because of the tantrum. I was too tired to explain iit to her, but I think she was wrong. I did break my promise, and he had been very patient and well behaved throughout Sears, Macy's and Bed Bath and Beyond. LOL

    Oh, the good ol dayz.....
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

  5. #5
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    Sep 2010
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    I have to admit to eyeballing (or rarely, commenting on) a few truly spectacular examples of truly bad parenting in public. And I'm not ashamed of it. But for the most part, I think parents just do what they have to do, and that's that.

    As a person who has never driven a car, I had to get the pram on public transport everywhere. I remember being so fed up one day with getting evil glares from other passengers for wasting 5 extra seconds of their apparently way more important day that I actually confronted the dozen tsking, glaring busybodies with "Unless you were spawned in a cloning tank, your mothers did this too, so shut the hell up" which got me a round of applause from the mums on the bus.

    Obviously, I have a somewhat shorter temper than the nice lady who FB'd her irritation.

    When I was younger, I think I used to eyeball women who put their kids on leashes or had five year olds with dummies (pacifiers, for you yankees) and strollers - I feel bad about that now. "Shopping with toddlers" is right up there with rocket science and brain surgery in skillset challenge levels IMO.
    _____________
    Everything I have posted at this website, past or present, represents my opinion or my understanding of events based on facts that are publicly available.

  6. #6
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    Jan 2013
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    503
    i think there is a lot of pressure on mothers to have the perfectly behaved child and it is very unfair as you don't have any knowledge of the family situation and what triggers a toddler's tantrum can be a mystery...



    lupus est homini homo, non homo, non quom qualis sit novit

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Ohio
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    Been there, done that! I stopped at a garage sale after picking first-grade DD up from school (without a snack!). That extra few moments/steps sent her into a major meltdown! I had to walk 4 blocks pushing a double stroller with a 10-month old and a 1 yr old with my 6 year-old hanging off of my pants, practically pulling them down! She was screaming, wanting to ride in the stroller! I was new in town at the time. They are now 9, 10 and 16! I'm the one usually giving the 'knowing smile'. Most make it through unscathed! jmo
    No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. - 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

    We are all one poor choice from being a subject on this forum. Think twice.

  8. #8
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    Apr 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikkismom View Post
    Been there, done that! I stopped at a garage sale after picking first-grade DD up from school (without a snack!). That extra few moments/steps sent her into a major meltdown! I had to walk 4 blocks pushing a double stroller with a 10-month old and a 1 yr old with my 6 year-old hanging off of my pants, practically pulling them down! She was screaming, wanting to ride in the stroller! I was new in town at the time. They are now 9, 10 and 16! I'm the one usually giving the 'knowing smile'. Most make it through unscathed! jmo
    for the love of god, the effing SNAAACKS! grrr There is no child born after 1995 that won't starve to death without having eaten some carp in the past three hours!

  9. #9
    Kudos to this mama! I remember when my daughter was 5 years old and decided to have a nuclear meltdown at the pumpkin patch. She didn't want to leave the petting zoo & rides. I told her to put her shoes on and she threw herself on the ground. I placed the shoes in front of her and told her again. She decided it was a better idea to throw one of her shoes.

    That was it, I was done. I picked her up, and tried to hold her while walking back to the car. She was screaming like I was killing/kidnapping her. I had to keep stopping because the brute force she was exuding was incredible. I could just feel the eyes on me.

    As we were walking, my DH who is not happy with this yells out to me: People are going to call the police. My reply: GOOD, let them! Maybe the police will scare her enough to stop this. Silence from everyone.. except my 5 year old.

  10. #10
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    Jun 2010
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    1,778
    Lmao at the "tall" part. My son is extry tall--always has been. AND a phenomenal talker-so many strangers, and even I myself, had unrealistic expectations of his capacity for self-control. When he was two, I longed for a size 2T t-shirt that read, "I'm not 5. I'm 2".

    I'm sure I've been guilty of the judging other moms. Fact is, tho, every harsh judgement of another is really a reflection of how judgemental I am being toward myself.


  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Avalon
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    When I saw the title with epic rant about MYOB I assumed you meant that ridiculous business software which is impossible to use, anyway I can see this is not the thread for me to let off steam about that .. as you were.

    (P.S. As a kid I was one of those harnessed ones tied securely to my sisters pram, for good reason .. go right ahead I say, damned good invention that.)
    Neither the state nor the defense team are saints, and there is usually plenty of incompetence to go around on both sides of the courtroom.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    6,485
    A couple of years ago I was looking for some shoes with my daughter in Target, and on the little seat they give you to try the shoes on, was a young woman with bleached hair, those cool 'old-school' tattoos, mini-skirt, tiny tee, belly ring, big chunky heels. Her entire being screamed 'stripper' and she was quietly crying her eyes out while her little daughter played happily with some shoes.

    I went to ask her if she was okay, and the story was, she'd just heard one too many nasty comments that day about her parenting from nosy people with no idea how good a mother she was, or was trying to be. Her toddler was impeccably dressed, super clean and smiley, and she was a really nice young woman. My daughter and I spent a little while comforting her, she soon smiled and went about her shopping.

    Apparently some nosy old witch-with-a-capital-B had approached her, saying how she wanted to call welfare, poor little tyke probably didn't have a dad, mum on drugs, what hope was there for the child, mum ought to have her tubes tied...

    Omg.

    I hope we made a difference to her day. Broke my heart.
    _____________
    Everything I have posted at this website, past or present, represents my opinion or my understanding of events based on facts that are publicly available.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    3
    I see her point, but she did seem a but touchy about some things.

    Like the dummy (pacifier) if you make the decision to give your child one, why care about what others think? Not their business, and if it's just a look... laugh it off.

    I remember standing in line at the bank one day, in work uniform and no kids with me. If was the day the the stimulus package ($600 or something) had been deposited into bank accounts and there were people discussing what they were going to buy. I must have had my head in the sand because I wasn't even aware of it, it was the first I'd heard of in in line at the bank. The elderly gentleman in front of me was obviously disgusted hearing the plans people were making regarding what to spend their $ on. He turned to me, being the only obvious non-parent looking person (ha!) and said something snide about the others, I can't remember what exactly but it was something about giving money to people that didn't need it just because they had children and that they'd only buy big screen TVs. I could have been offended, or smiled and nodded and pretended that I wasn't going to be one of these people receiving any money. Instead I just said "oh, no big screen tv for us, we'll be getting an xbox" and smiled broadly.

    I'm pretty sure the others in the line appreciated the laugh.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    535
    I remember years ago (said child is now 27) standing in line at the pharmacy waiting for a prescription for said child, and she was standing in the cart, slamming closed the seat and then opening it again, while being really obnoxious. Some old lady mentioned to me she might get hurt, and me in my frustration said "good, maybe she'll stop!"

    After, I realized it wasn't the best response, but at the time...
    Vermont born and raised!

  15. #15
    I just recalled another moment when we decided it would be a grand idea to go to the opening week of a new restaurant in our neighborhood. We only had one child at the time, our son who was about 4-5 when this incident occurred.

    My son was usually a very well-behaved child. So, nothing out of the ordinary happened during the meal. It wasn't until our server brought him a balloon that the !@#$ hit the fan. You see, he wanted a red balloon, not white. I expressed that he needed to appreciate what he was given and that it's not polite to demand something else when you've been given a gift. Engage tantrum time.

    I gave him a fair warning that he either accept the white balloon or we were leaving with no balloon and no dessert. He thought I was bluffing. I apologized to my in laws for our having to leave, but I carried him out and left the balloon behind.

    Thankfully, the restaurant was just a block from our home. About 20 minutes later my DH and his family make it home and I received lots of compliments from them for not letting him act out that way. DS never tried to pull crap like that again.
    Last edited by Disguiseduser0308; 06-01-2014 at 09:54 AM.

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