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  1. #46
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    I have been reading some of the posts and our ideas are all over the place - in other words, you can't please everyone all the time. lol

    Having said that, MO is that it is impossible to have any kind of complete conversation on any topic when someone is always claiming someone else is off topic. With all the threads, our conversations aren't easily followed.

    I'm not sure why people can't roll and scroll if it's a topic they are not interested in or if they feel it's off topic. I have no problem with doing that - for instance, the car seat discussion that went on and on and on - I just rolled through it because obviously, some of the members wanted to discuss it, and at times, it did have to do with other topics being discussed. As far as I'm concerned, as long as everyone is playing nice, there should be no problems. Most people get riled up when someone gets hateful or sarcastic with them. I think if, instead of being attacked, they are simply asked a question (example - how does ---------- affect your theory? - or I agree with THIS part, but I don't think THAT part is possible.) then a good discussion can take place.

    I read a post in the Alternate theory thread which gave me a whole new view on this case. We need people to be willing to post without worrying about someone "yelling" they are not on topic when they obviously think they are.

    I'm not trying to be pushy - just trying to follow the directions. But for now, I think I'll just stay off the threads until new news is released.

  2. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Confusion View Post
    Maybe I should clarify what it was that I wanted when I started that thread. I wanted a place where people would be free to post their ideas about what may have happened without it turning into 10+ pages of posts full of insults, criticism, name-calling (mostly calling the parents names, but not entirely), and all of the other things that were going on in the general discussion threads. I don't think most people realize how much work it takes and time it wastes just trying to keep the worst out of here. I know I worked as a moderator for a site with a similar number of posters and in addition to what other moderators did, I was putting in 300-350 hours a month on a voluntary position. That was usually at least double the time I spent on my paid position I had at the same time - for the record, I had agreed to work for a minimum of 6 hours/week, but I happened to be around most often when trouble came up.

    I admit that I've done my share of arguing, and I've added to the workload here more than once, but I've been trying to help find a way for everybody to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts without sending Salem to the nuthouse. Maybe it could just be like the media thread. People post their theories and use that thread as reference for the others. Alternate was probably not the right word to use. I don't see any reason why someone who believes the same as the majority here do couldn't also put that theory in there. I just want differing (?) ideas rather than just everybody sitting around talking about what slugs the people involved are.

    Hope that makes more sense.
    And I thought everyone there WAS following your rules......

    I'm not considered to be a stupid person, but I am having a hard time figuring out what we can and cannot do. Maybe I just need to get away for a while.

  3. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spice View Post
    What I noticed in the GD thread was that of course sometimes it derailed (every thread does sometimes) and sometimes it was just fine and on topic and people would complain that it was derailing, when in reality it wasn't. I've seen both happen. And I saw the same thing happen in a specific thread today. (Alternate Theories).

    Now the specific threads will kind of derail for the same reason, one aspect of the case, say the carseat, will lead to a question or comment about another aspect of the case Chik-Fil-A, the kiss goodbye, then the drive, then the lunch break, or the timeline. It's easier to derail a specific thread than it is general discussion. And breaking the discussion up into so many different threads seems to derail the conversation entirely by scattering it so much, the activity and conversation declines greatly. Then, you have to worry so much about derailing the specific threads, I don't even go into the Alternative Theory thread because I have no idea how to correctly post in it, so I just read it and don't bother to discuss.

    Do I sound crazy or am I explaining it clearly?

    Basically it feels like breaking it up to avoid derailing, derails the discussion even further.

    Just my input.
    You stated this perfectly and much better than I did! ITA

  4. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by who knew? View Post
    And I thought everyone there WAS following your rules......

    I'm not considered to be a stupid person, but I am having a hard time figuring out what we can and cannot do. Maybe I just need to get away for a while.
    No, please don't go!! I like reading your posts!

    You are exactly right -- there is no way the mods can please everyone -- I think (imvhbo) that a lot of us are trying to say it was too early to close the general discussion thread...

    If the mods prefer NOT to have a general discussion thread, perhaps we could deal with it like the Ramsay thread....

    "RH did it & LH is innocent"
    "RH & LH did it together"
    "Total accident / by law negligence"

    and let people hang out wherever they prefer.... ?????

    Either way, as this case evolves certain threads will naturally disappear and others will pop up -- with only 1/3 of the way into the case before the grand jury deadline, it's too early to close the general discussion thread (or facsimile ).... imo

    But, who knew?.... STAY PUT .. please, with a cherry on top?
    HOPING I CAN HELP
    but, what if .... ?

  5. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by cady View Post
    Q In which thread would it be appropriate to mention a possible date that RH had in feb 2014?
    Probably RH Social Media Thread
    Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
    We are all just trying to make sense of an unimaginable crime.

  6. #51
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    I personally think we need the General Discussion thread; I get the fact that topics can be repeated over and over again, but so what, just skip over them. It's hard to not get derailed and off topic on any of the threads this is why I think the General Discussion is the way to go.. JMO! People just want to have their opinion


    This post is my opinion only, and is subject to making me look totally confused

  7. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaperDoll View Post
    I personally think we need the General Discussion thread; I get the fact that topics can be repeated over and over again, but so what, just skip over them. It's hard to not get derailed and off topic on any of the threads this is why I think the General Discussion is the way to go.. JMO! People just want to have their opinion
    That and sometimes we just don't "get it" when one poster explains it but we do when another poster does -- being able to congregate in a general area allows multiple people restate something -- I think we can all agree that web discussions are different than real-life discussions because the posts lack tone, inflection, posture, body language, etc....

    Having a general thread might mean revisiting issues but sometimes that's what it takes for everyone to feel included, caught up, and understood... imo.
    HOPING I CAN HELP
    but, what if .... ?

  8. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaperDoll View Post
    I personally think we need the General Discussion thread; I get the fact that topics can be repeated over and over again, but so what, just skip over them. It's hard to not get derailed and off topic on any of the threads this is why I think the General Discussion is the way to go.. JMO! People just want to have their opinion
    That's fine for those with time, health and decent eyesight, but some of us are missing one or more of those things. When the General Discussion was open, I always tried to read/skim all posts to make sure I didn't miss something important. Every time I took a break, I'd come back to 100s of posts, and by the time I'd catch up, I needed another break. I did occasionally post something before I had finished reading the last 5-10 pages, but I don't like doing it. I have the time to read them all, but I'm usually not physically able to. There are others here who have limited time, families (especially those with full-time jobs and small children), limited internet access, etc. who also have a hard time keeping up with threads that move as quickly as the GD one does. It gets a bit frustrating at times when you spend a few hours reading and 99% of the posts say almost the same thing with words changed a bit.

    As you said, people just want to have their opinion. MOO
    Every murderer is someone's old friend ... Agatha Christie

  9. #54
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    Oct 2009
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    36,101
    I respect what our volunteer mods and admin do so tremendously. I do not wish to create more work for them and I feel badly if I contributed to creating an atmosphere where right fighting caused mods additional work. I will refrain from posting in the alternate theory thread as I do not think it is meant for the majority theories and it was specifically created for those with more minority POVs to feel comfortable discussing this case without feeling leapt upon by those in the majority.

    I am in the majority on this case, at least as pertains to RH and his actions, and I truly believe that there is room for all POVs as long as aired respectfully towards the TOS for this site. But I have been in that minority on other cases and it is sometimes a very uncomfotable place to sit. I would never knowingly contribute to any atmosphere where those members felt shouted down.
    Websleuths now on Facebook

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    mni wiconi - Lakota for Water is Life.

  10. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by stmarysmead View Post
    Do schools still sponsor debate teams? I wish they would. Disagreeing with a position taken by another ....is not disrespect...it's an intellectual exercise. It's about "testing" each other's conclusions by looking at flaws in arguments and incorrect "facts." Everyone gets "nipped" at points in a good debate.

    The idea isn't even to "convince" the other side. It's a way to actually strengthen your own position ....to accept the weaknesses, respond to them, or remove them from your argument and ....carry on.

    Debate should be a mutual exercise in clarification. What's the point in these theories if they can have errors that nobody can point out? Where does that get us as sleuthers?
    I see errors/incorrect facts frequently on the other threads that are never pointed out. No theory is perfect. Every theory, including those of LE has flaws.


  11. #56
    I can appreciate and know from experience that it's hard to keep up with a fast-moving main discussion thread, but whenever a general discussion thread on WS disappears, I feel like the bottom just fell out of my world lol. And I don't get over it easily wah.

  12. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Confusion View Post
    I hope this makes as much sense in writing as it does in my head. Would it be possible to only allow a person 2 post about any one theory, one if there are any questions about it, and one giving any reasons why they don't think it works. The person posting the theory can answer the questions, but has already stated that/why they think it would work so there'd be no need to argue about it.

    The one other thing I'd like is not repeating a question once it's been asked and answered.
    I'm sorry.......... there is not much I could say or add at this point .....
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    "Look, if any of us wanted to mind our own business, we wouldn't be here" (carbuff 8/11/13)

    This post reflects my constitutionally-protected opinion. Please do not copy it anywhere else outside of the WebSleuth forum

  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaperDoll View Post
    I personally think we need the General Discussion thread; I get the fact that topics can be repeated over and over again, but so what, just skip over them. It's hard to not get derailed and off topic on any of the threads this is why I think the General Discussion is the way to go.. JMO! People just want to have their opinion
    Yeah, right now my vote goes to keeping a general discussion thread. I've peeped in at some of the other threads but GD just allows for more freedom.

    For me personally it keeps me from getting stuck on some detail that stops me from looking at the whole picture. For example, I over-focused on a comment RH made. A couple of posters took me to task for it (politely) which kind of snapped me out of sleuthing hypnosis, lol, and got me back on track.

    The result was that I started thinking about other stuff like what kind of strategies the defense might use or what issues are going to be important down the road. I posted my thoughts and other members responded with their feedback. To me, that's the beauty of collective sleuthing bouncing thoughts off of each other.

    At the same time there's value in having offshoot threads. For one thing it allows posters invested in a particular subject, like car seats, to go off and have a deep discussion without other posters complaining. They also serve as information hubs for posters when they need clarification or just other opinions on that subject.

    But without a central meeting place like a general discussion, there's nowhere posters can go to share their overall thoughts and theories.

  14. #59
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    there is no thread where this comment would not be considered off topic so I will put it here:

    I am very fact oriented. Sometimes I speculate but I try very hard to label those posts that are sheer speculation. Otherwise I tend to be a "helper" type personality, it is just my nature. I sometimes will chime in when I see what I perceive to be misinformation or inaccurate information being discussed. but it is NEVER with the intent of shaming, belittling or shutting down other posters from airing their views.

    So if it ever has felt like that to someone I sincerely apologize because that is never ever ever my intent.

    With each case that gets national attention Websleuths ends up getting a lot of new members who found the site and joined due to that particular case. I try to remember what it was like to be new and unsure of how to get arround perform functions like multi quote or link attachments etc. because I was that girl at one time.

    I also am a very prolific poster. I have tons of thoughts, theories and opinions. To our newer members, please do not ever mistake my vocalness as putting you down or trying to shut you down. that is never my intention. I am always thrilled when we get new members and new thoughts, experiences, ideas and skills to this site. I am very attached to Websleuths. And I want it to grow and evolve because that is how things keep from getting stagnant.
    Websleuths now on Facebook

    Welcome to all new members. Thank you for joining the conversation. Please take a moment to become familiar with the TOS and rules, etiquette and information.

    mni wiconi - Lakota for Water is Life.

  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsMarple View Post
    Yeah, right now my vote goes to keeping a general discussion thread. I've peeped in at some of the other threads but GD just allows for more freedom.

    For me personally it keeps me from getting stuck on some detail that stops me from looking at the whole picture. For example, I over-focused on a comment RH made. A couple of posters took me to task for it (politely) which kind of snapped me out of sleuthing hypnosis, lol, and got me back on track.

    The result was that I started thinking about other stuff like what kind of strategies the defense might use or what issues are going to be important down the road. I posted my thoughts and other members responded with their feedback. To me, that's the beauty of collective sleuthing – bouncing thoughts off of each other.

    At the same time there's value in having offshoot threads. For one thing it allows posters invested in a particular subject, like car seats, to go off and have a deep discussion without other posters complaining. They also serve as information hubs for posters when they need clarification or just other opinions on that subject.

    But without a central meeting place like a general discussion, there's nowhere posters can go to share their overall thoughts and theories.
    Yes, yes, and YES! I was just in a discussion today that was making me think defense theories -- where does THAT go???
    HOPING I CAN HELP
    but, what if .... ?

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