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  1. #16
    Finished journal #2. Of most interest:

    - how often she writes about her mother and father (calls her stepdad her dad) and about how much she loves and misses them, and how much her mother has done for her.

    -- how often she writes about pets, her own cats and Napoleon. She writes of them with huge affection, which actually seems genuine, as opposed to her feelings about people.

    -- she was having serious money problems in fall 2007. Couldn't hold onto a waitress job, wasn't earning money with PPL. She only has a bed because Rachel gave her a futon. Before that was sleeping on the floor.

    I think Darryl was right....she seemed to be lost in magical thinking about money...that somehow it would just come to her if she thought the right thoughts and had the right attitude.
    RIP, Cassini. To her tireless overseers- job well done.

  2. #17
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    That magical thinking about money is typical of multi level marketing companies .. it's basically a con to get people to give up their time and hard earned for zilch and not complain or blame the cult, erm I mean company. Perhaps deep down this was another source of her anger towards Travis? Example: http://ethanvanderbuilt.com/2013/09/...m-yes-opinion/
    You don't get a medal for switching alliances just before the result, as it becomes apparent the other team is set to win.

  3. #18
    Adding...

    I'm going back and forth about whether or not she wrote these first 2 journals thinking Travis would read them. She writes a great deal about trying to be a good Mormon.....

    BTW, she definitely writes negative things about Travis in the journals.

    Keeping a list of the most creepy things she says. Number one so far is her comment in late 2007 that she loves Sky Hughes like a sister and wants to give her a long heartfelt hug. Eek!!!!
    RIP, Cassini. To her tireless overseers- job well done.

  4. #19
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    Oct 2012
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    930
    Thurs 8/16 entry. Meeting with Deborah

    Was JA seeing a psychic? Who is Geraldo and Jonathan Allister?

  5. #20
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    Oct 2012
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    930
    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs G Norris View Post
    That magical thinking about money is typical of multi level marketing companies .. it's basically a con to get people to give up their time and hard earned for zilch and not complain or blame the cult, erm I mean company. Perhaps deep down this was another source of her anger towards Travis? Example: http://ethanvanderbuilt.com/2013/09/...m-yes-opinion/
    That's why it felt so icky to read. I've grown so accustomed to disliking her that it caught me off guard to feel sorry for her, knowing that in desperation she fell hard for the scheme. It probably only added debt and stress.

  6. #21
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    Apr 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoaIsMe View Post
    That's why it felt so icky to read. I've grown so accustomed to disliking her that it caught me off guard to feel sorry for her, knowing that in desperation she fell hard for the scheme. It probably only added debt and stress.
    Towards the end of Journal 2 she's taking notes at a strategy meeting. $30,000 a month is possible in PPL....

    She was very into it. At least the lectures, meetings, personal development. That's the majority of what I've read so far. Affirmations, positive quotes from motivational books mentioned in the meetings.

    Corpus Christi, Texas

  7. #22
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    Mar 2014
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoaIsMe View Post
    Ack, I'm only in volume one and JA seemed to have swallowed PPL whole. That makes me feel weird because I'm reading the words of a woman who is in financial trouble and this is the hope. So much so that she is journaling ,word for word, what others are saying. I don't like it. It also makes me wonder if she journaled before this, or was that also a suggestion from PPL. Does anybody know?

    It is an eye opener about where some of her lingo comes from, it comes from PPL.

    I also agree with others who have said these are legit.
    It was my understanding that journaling and how he made lists of things to accomplish each day were two of the things she had admired about TA.... iirc this was referred to by her at some point, I know if you read TA's blog he speaks of how he works to better himself by doing this.

    http://travisalexander.blogspot.co.uk/
    "Tuesday, April 22, 2008
    Creating An Amazing Day."

  8. #23
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    Feb 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hope4More View Post
    Finished journal #2. Of most interest:

    - how often she writes about her mother and father (calls her stepdad her dad) and about how much she loves and misses them, and how much her mother has done for her.

    -- how often she writes about pets, her own cats and Napoleon. She writes of them with huge affection, which actually seems genuine, as opposed to her feelings about people.

    -- she was having serious money problems in fall 2007. Couldn't hold onto a waitress job, wasn't earning money with PPL. She only has a bed because Rachel gave her a futon. Before that was sleeping on the floor.

    I think Darryl was right....she seemed to be lost in magical thinking about money...that somehow it would just come to her if she thought the right thoughts and had the right attitude.
    I didn't know she had a stepdad? Is she talking about her half sister Julie's stepfather? He certainly wouldn't be "her" stepdad, I am confused.

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoaIsMe View Post
    That's why it felt so icky to read. I've grown so accustomed to disliking her that it caught me off guard to feel sorry for her, knowing that in desperation she fell hard for the scheme. It probably only added debt and stress.
    It surely would have, also it would have given her false hope, and basically told her that the reason she had no money was because of her own inability to 'think right' when in reality it was because all her time was being taken up working for a multi level company that wasn't going to reward her fairly, and chasing after some guy that wasn't interested in her who worked for same company, and who's own finances were heading down the toilet for the same reason.
    You don't get a medal for switching alliances just before the result, as it becomes apparent the other team is set to win.

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs G Norris View Post
    That magical thinking about money is typical of multi level marketing companies .. it's basically a con to get people to give up their time and hard earned for zilch and not complain or blame the cult, erm I mean company. Perhaps deep down this was another source of her anger towards Travis? Example: http://ethanvanderbuilt.com/2013/09/...m-yes-opinion/

    I think it absolutely had an impact. She fell hard for the cult. And for Travis. He was a success in the business. He took her to the Executive Dinner, had a 4,500 sq ft home, travel. Yet she couldn't earn in PPL.
    In her mind...she gave up her Palm Desert home, her relationship with Daryl, converted to Mormonism, degraded herself sexually...all for Travis. When it became clear that he would not marry her , that she had essentially wasted 21 months of her life. When she went back to Yreka and a twin bed in her grandmothers modest home a waitress gig at the Purple Plum AND realized if she continued to fish in the PPL pond or the Mormon sea...that it was very likely Travis would be there to warn the next guy about getting hacked -about slashed tires etc. it was too much. She'd already, in her mind, sacrificed everything for him...now was she going to let this man who rejected her ruin her future too?

    Corpus Christi, Texas


  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexMex View Post
    I think it absolutely had an impact. She fell hard for the cult. And for Travis. He was a success in the business. He took her to the Executive Dinner, had a 4,500 sq ft home, travel. Yet she couldn't earn in PPL.
    In her mind...she gave up her Palm Desert home, her relationship with Daryl, converted to Mormonism, degraded herself sexually...all for Travis. When it became clear that he would not marry her , that she had essentially wasted 21 months of her life. When she went back to Yreka and a twin bed in her grandmothers modest home a waitress gig at the Purple Plum AND realized if she continued to fish in the PPL pond or the Mormon sea...that it was very likely Travis would be there to warn the next guy about getting hacked -about slashed tires etc. it was too much. She'd already, in her mind, sacrificed everything for him...now was she going to let this man who rejected her ruin her future too?
    Totally agree with you, I think that's exactly what happened.
    You don't get a medal for switching alliances just before the result, as it becomes apparent the other team is set to win.

  12. #27
    There are a few pages of a 2002 journal in what's listed as journal #3. They relate to breaking up with MM. And they're not crazy as in obsessive at all...they just sound very new agey and young girly.
    RIP, Cassini. To her tireless overseers- job well done.

  13. #28
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    Jan 2013
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    5,832
    I suppose I need to read these journals out of curiosity. If I am reading all of you correctly, you are all feeling sorry for her? This young silly girl went from home to boy to boy to man looking for someone to take care of her and then she met Travis. She feel in love I suppose and thought he and PPL represented her dream life. When he refused to marry her and she had no money, she decided she had to kill him? What am I missing?

    I don't feel sorry for her at all. Suppose he used her, suppose he was a con artist, suppose he liked oral sex or whatever. She could have walked away. Instead she turned all her anger inside her sick self toward him and slaughtered him. Who does that except a sick Psycopath?

  14. #29
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    I'm not feeling sorry for her Curious. I'm just surprised at how much PPL is in the journals. I thought once she met Travis she wasn't serious at all about it but she was.
    The whole time I read...I just read 11/04/07...all I can think is Travis had 7 months to live. This girl who writes about not killing spiders in September slits a humans throat in June. It's crazy

    Corpus Christi, Texas

  15. #30
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    Nov 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curious in Indiana View Post
    I suppose I need to read these journals out of curiosity. If I am reading all of you correctly, you are all feeling sorry for her? This young silly girl went from home to boy to boy to man looking for someone to take care of her and then she met Travis. She feel in love I suppose and thought he and PPL represented her dream life. When he refused to marry her and she had no money, she decided she had to kill him? What am I missing?

    I don't feel sorry for her at all. Suppose he used her, suppose he was a con artist, suppose he liked oral sex or whatever. She could have walked away. Instead she turned all her anger inside her sick self toward him and slaughtered him. Who does that except a sick Psycopath?
    I am not feeling sorry for her at all! Prior to reading the journals...at least the ones I have read...I was firmly convinced they were contrived. Now, I am not so sure. Further, it is sad (I guess that's the term I would use) how sucked into PPL and the Church that she was. She totally bought into that. The whole, change your thinking, change your life bit was apparently very real to her.

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