02-20-2015, 05:57 PM #1Former Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Travis Alexander's Journals and text messages
Recently released journal entries of Travis Alexander and some of the text message discussions he had right before his death.
If you have links feel free to add them here and discuss what is in them. This is not a general discussion thread other than what pertains to Travis' journals and text messages.
ETA: For the most part the journals are on Beth's site and our posters are paraphrasing them. Here is the link to Beth's site if you wish to review them yourself.
Last edited by LambChop; 02-22-2015 at 07:57 PM.
02-20-2015, 10:31 PM #2
May 26. Note- I’ve included all the times noted for parts of the exchange. They don’t make much sense as is, or at least, they don’t help in trying to piece together the order of what was said. Maybe someone else can figure out if time zone differences are part of what is confusing. I inserted pieces where times weren’t mentioned where they most logically seemed to follow, but those were just guesses.
4:08 JA: (text begins mid sentence) that part. I’ll tell you the other part but I need a response from you. Deal?
7:59 TA: I sent you a response to your dire conversation that I hope you read because you need to read it. Maybe it will spark some human emotion in you something that seems to exist only when it comes to your own problems. But everyone else is just a part of your sick agenda. By the way, your pic comment to Danny Jones makes you look like a pure whore, even more to the people who know you. You should be embarrassed by it. If he knew what I knew about it, he’d spit in your face. So would everyone else. I have never in my life been so hurt by someone. But why do I even say it because you don’t care. It doesn’t serve your evilness.
8:35 You couldn’t get off your lazy butt to read it could you. That’s the sociopath I know so well. It freakin figures.
9:11 TA: I don’t want your apology. I want you to understand what I think of you. I want you to understand how evil I think that you are. You are the worst thing that ever happened to me.
9:14 TA: You are a sociopath. You only cry for yourself. You have never cared (about) me and you have betrayed me more than any example I could conjour. You are sick and you have scamed me.
9:14 JA: I don’t have an email from you. Which email did you send it to?
9:17 JA: Hmm.. I did not get an email notice but I will check now.
238 JA: Only you would say that. Anyone else would see it for what it was-a joke. I was just razzing him.
TA: No- you were flirting with him and you know better. It’s Danny Jones. Maybe you are just on to the next dick and he’s an easy target.
TA: So you have checked with him. What a freaking whore.
2:42 TA: I’ve never dealt with a more solid form of evil. (you are) blatantly lying.
2:45 TA: I do realize I hate you. Hitler had more conscious. You have caused me more pain than the death of my father. How can a heart beat in such a corrupted carcass?
You are the lowest of the low. You are sick and evil and knowing you, I want to kill myself in punishment. You are scum. I'm so stupid. I don't even know if you are human.
JA - I am so sorry. If anyone should it is me. You are light upon this world. I can't even compare.
JA (tells TA she’s a bartender in a Mexican restaurant)
TA That’s a slut’s job. Maybe you can get tips for blowjobs
TA Yeah, you are a three hole wonder, you are good for something.
TA: your parents must be proud of you
JA: They're not proud of me
TA- You never saw me of more value as a piece of **** unless I was serving some purpose to U. I am less than nothing to you.
TA: I was a dildo with a heartbeat to U
JA: I really did love you, but I let it get so distorted. I am so sorry. I have no excuse. None.
TA: I loved someone that never existed, what I thought was real never existed. Finish your worthless email
TA: Send your piece of **** lie fest so I can mock it
TA : We already know based on all the last emails you sent and then invaded my privacy that it is ********.
TA: I know you got into my computer and erased an email to Lisa
TA: You stole my journals, you slashed my tires, and I know it. You can never tell the truth.
3:14 JA: I may be a liar, whore, evil, a coward. I am most likely the most horrible person you’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing, but the one thing I am not is violent. I did not and would not and would never have slashed your tires.
3:22 JA: You deserve so much more than the crap I’ve given you. I deserve a pile of **** for what I’ve done to my friend.
3:24 TA: You tried to murder me from the inside out..... how could you? Why did you manipulate me into loving you? I was a good guy. Why did you have to do it to me? Why did you hate me? What was your objective, what was the point?
JA: I don't know what you mean ruin you? I would never set out to deliberately do that to you. I loaned you $200. I always wanted you to succeed. I am so sorry for what I’ve done. Those things don’t counterbalance what I did. I’m 100% responsible for this.
JA: There's no excuse for me to be alive
TA: I want a real answer
JA: There have been times I screamed so loud into the phone .I could only scream into the air-I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I would sob until I couldn’t breathe. But I have done you more wrong.
3:49 (page 7 of chat) JA: I get so caught up in wanting to do the right thing then when you came around…I want to do a different version of the right thing. We shouldn’t be discussing this.
3:59 JA: The sexual part of me was an unevolved way of trying to be more loved. I knew you weren't in love with me. I knew you cared, but that it wasn't that kind of love. I convinced myself you were. It was intoxicating. You made it so good. But you weren’t just a piece of meat. I felt so, so loved. I would have been content just cuddling, but I wasn't strong enough. Again, I'm sorry for that.
(TA: have you had sex with anyone else)
JA: No, my sex drive is gone.
TA: I doubt that.
JA: The better I was, the more you wanted me and the more we got together. I was a whore for you because I was a whore for that feeling. I was a whore in general. I still am.
4:10 Of course not. Nobody else can do that. If being a whore for you is wrong I don’t want to be right. (says TA is her kryptonite).
4:11 JA: This is not an excuse for me to be alive (exchange between them about her breaking into his Facebook took place at this time -per BK)
TA: You know I’ll take you back. You know if you just equal the drama with my anger I’ll take you back, and that’s why you don’t hesitate to keep ruining me.
4:25 JA: Honestly, aside from what I wanted to say, it was me that wanted to hear your voice just once more. It's a little fix, your not the only one who is addicted.
4:30 JA: What’s the purpose? It’s not marriage. It’s just sex. . Here I come looking like an angel, speaking sweetly, acting nicely, pleasing you in many ways.
4:33 JA: You’re like an angel that gets snared by my evil influences. There’s really no point in my continuing to breathe.I stand with those taking a stand in Standing Rock.
02-20-2015, 10:36 PM #3Former Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Interesting that she said, "never WOULD have slashed your tires" instead of "never slashed your tires."
02-20-2015, 10:42 PM #4
Chronology, with texts/emails/chats/testimony incorporated, JA-TA
Mid to end of February 2008, Lisa breaks off relationship with TA. Mimi enters the picture end of February. JA first mentions leaving Mesa in early March.
2/28 Email, JA-TA
JA: There are times I am overwhelmed about things to tell you. I just want you to know that I haven’t forgotten what I said more than a year ago; that no matter what happened, we’ll always have our friendship. … I fell deeply in love with you.. I sort of knew deep down you weren't the one. .... When I think of you now I have radiating feelings of warmth. I know it’s unconditional love. U know love w/o conditions is an interesting thing…We are each destined for extraordinary things…I wish I could wave a wand and make things right for you….This wish stems from unconditional love… our path is something to be cherished and remembered I love you, Jodi
TA: Wow, that kind of choked me up a little and I know our path hasn't always been roses but I am grateful for the time we have had and the amazing experiences we have had together as well .I’ve had more noteworthy things happen with you than with anyone. I’m not talking about the places I’ve been but the journey of the heart…I just missed a call from you so I’m going to call you now.
3/2 JA journal entry: Let's see, Friday I went over to T-dogg’s for a while to clean. Shortly after, he went out to go rock climbing with Mimi Hall, their 3rd date. He said it went really well. I accidentally fell asleep so I was there when he returned. I was supposed to go 4 wheeling but I was exhausted and fell asleep. (…) Anyway, on the way back I told him of my plans to move to Yreka…
3/18 Text, TA to JA, do you know what happened to my diamond ring
3/18 TA Journal entry: I’ve lost my journal, my Ipod, my diamond ring. JA says she has the ring for some reason.
3/19 and 3/25. TA journal entry: I want my lost journal back.
3/21 TA journal: Haven’t spoken to Mimi in a long while. Trying to play it cool.
3/26 TA journal: Mimi didn’t call me back. Getting discouraging. Leaning towards not proceeding with her. I have 4 months left in the ward.
3/27 TA journal: I really need more self discipline. I think Jodi moving will be good for me in a lot of ways. She is a great girl. But we are not good influences on each other. She has an uncanny ability to get under my skin. So although I’m used to having her around and I’ll most probably miss her. But I’m certain it will be good for both of us. But I need to get married and she can get in the way of that and does in fact.
3/30 TA journal entry: about sin bringing momentary happiness but followed by misery. Moral of the story: “wickedness never was happiness.”
3/30 Text, JA to TA
JA: (4:53) Nor should I have to.
JA: (4:53) I wanted to tell you something about today. Its important and time is of the
TA: (4:53) Too bad. You shouldn’t have hung up.
JA: (4:55) It was for your benefit- not mine. I only wanted to tell you because I care about
TA: (4:57) whatever Jodi.
JA: (4:59) I’ll whatever you in the nose Travis.
JA: (5:03) I was just trying to help you out. U’ve hung up on me several times before even
when I’ve asked you not to. It’s reasonable that I shouldn’t tolerate swearing
JA: (5:04) I am very sorry. Have a great day.
4/1 JA writes goodbye note in TA’s journal.I stand with those taking a stand in Standing Rock.
02-20-2015, 10:56 PM #5
4/1 JA writes goodbye note in TA’s journal.
4/1 Text (or chat) TA and Michelle Lowry: there’s a Michelle in our ward who has been playing spy for Jodi for months, giving her info about Lisa and Mimi. I have had no privacy for a year. (She’s read) my journals, goes into my texts and emails.
4/3 Email, JA to TA: I know I’m making the right decision… I used to be so spiritual. I’m not myself… Don’t think I don’t enjoy making love to you. I have enjoyed making love to the man I love but it wasn't under the right circumstances. We’ve both stretched it farther than it should have naturally gone but intact it remains. This time away from each other will help us both. That is my prayer and that is what I sincerely believe.
4/3 TA journal entry: I’m still quite lonely. Jodi keeps leaving but hasn’t left. In fact she pulled out of my driveway headed for CA this afternoon but she showed up this evening. I think she is having a hard time. But I think I’d be better off and so would she if she got out of here. Dreamt of Lisa. I miss her. I still love her.
4/7 Text, TA to JA:
Don’t call. Don’t text me anything. The next text I want is this Michelle K that is friends with Elena that nobody knows but who knows details about my life. Not one other thing ever. (You have 15 minutes to reply) but you won’t Why. Because it’s a F’ing lie. So either tell me the truth or give me your imaginary friend with the worst BS story you have ever told or leave me alone. It’s a lie like no other.
5:27 You have screwed up your story so bad you can’t mend it. You have til tomorrow (to tell me) this person’s information before I tell the Hughes, Leslie Udy, the Freemans, your parents, and anyone that matters about all the crazy things you’ve done.
4/8 JA leaves Mesa. Says she accidentally destroyed her Motorola Razr phone in the UHaul, by dropping it in hot cocoa. Picks up the Helio phone from Gus on way back to Yreka.
4/8 Text, TA to JA:
TA: 6:27 Thanks a lot for having me sign that drawing in ink and then deciding you were going to leave it. If its not one thing, its another. Always drama.
JA: 6:43 Hmm. Doesn’t sound like it’s me being dramatic dear. Call me ASAP.
TA: 6:54 Do not call back. I am sick of you playing stupid and dealing with childish tactics.
TA: 6:56 It was some stupid ass way of ruining yet another day of mine. Which you have done so much of. Bitter feelings are brewing in me towards you. If it keeps up I fear I will have a genuine dislike of you. I’m asking you before it gets to that to stop doing it, before I start seeking revenge. Your account with me is overdrawn. PS. You need to start paying me back so you better start looking for a job.
4/8 TA journal entry: Lost my journal and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was stolen…most of my time with Lisa was in in it.
4/9 TA journal entry: I have much regret about Lisa right now. Messed up a good thing.
4/10 TA journal entry: One of my most productive days for a long time. Mimi emailed and texted me a few times, complimented me on my house and on the speech I gave. TA also writes that he has been texting/emailing with Taylor and Michelle about his relationship with Lisa, his regrets, his loneliness, confusion, conflict about committing, and that he still has feelings for her.
“I didn’t speak to Jodi for the whole day. Wow. I never thought that would happen. I loved it. No negativity, no distractions. I’m sure it was good for her too.”
4/14 First mention of Cancun trip.
4/15 Travis finds out he has qualified for Cancun trip.
4/15 TA journal: Spoke to Bishop. Bishop complimented Travis about “getting buff.”
4/17 Sat next to Mimi on love sac—her idea. Need to find out when I have to make the Cancun decision. Need passport.I stand with those taking a stand in Standing Rock.
02-20-2015, 11:24 PM #6Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
I'm new to these communications of Travis'. Thanks Hope4More.
Several items jumped out at me:
1) All Jodi's apologies are so Domestic Violence Perpetrator 101. Do a lot of emotional damage and then make profuse and dramatic apologies combined with fake loving words, all of which invite the victim to come back with "Oh, no, you're not that bad......"
2) May 26, 4:08 sounds like the middle of a blackmail threat.
3) TA and JA really didn't communicate that often.... I realize phone calls weren't included, but I was surprised to see how scattered the communications are. Travis very obviously had a life that didn't include Jodi, and it had likely been in this pattern since the beginning.
4) Although IIRC, Jodi said she was staying at Travis' house for the first week in April, it sure doesn't sound like it from the communications.
02-20-2015, 11:36 PM #7
Would someone mind pointing out where everyone is reading these? I feel like I've missed something, I tend to follow BK's site (and often miss pages of posts in the threads here), and they don't appear to be posted there.
02-21-2015, 12:00 AM #8
Part 3, chronology
4-18 TA journal entry: Yesterday was a fair day. Not good, not bad.
4/18 Text, JA –TA
JA: you hurt my feelings
TA: Jodi I stayed on the phone a long time. When I mentioned I had to go you got offended
TA: you decided to insult me as a speaker. … Maybe if I told you a painting sucked you’d know how I felt. .. I’m busy and hope you are too
JA: Since you sent me 5 texts, I’ll do the same. I’ve asked for criticism of my painting before. My last text complimented your speaking. I’ve always enjoyed listening to you… You told me that what I was saying was nothing but absolute praise…you let your pride get in the way and heard less than what I had to say. But don’t worry, I still love you
TA: I took time to take care of crap for you today… I have let you have a car, money and a whole hell of a lot of time
JA: I really appreciate you got all of that stuff done for me so quickly
4/20 (supposedly) Text TA to JA : I am at a night club right now and it helped me to come to the conclusion that you are one of the prettiest girls on the planet
4/21 (supposedly) Text TA to JA: send me a naughty picture
4/21 TA journal: Tired of dealing with PPL politics. Tired of figuring out girls….just want to chill (but Travis feels too “guilty” about doing nothing and doesn’t).
(By 3rd week of April JA and Ryan Burns are talking/texting 3-5 days a week)
4/27 TA journal: Mimi interested, to a degree
4/29 TA journal: Asked Mimi to go to Cancun. She said yes.
4/29 Travis (supposedly) leaves a message for JA on Myspace:
Those branches make you look like a hot Medusa
I'd like to take a picture of you in the forest
5/1 Travis (supposedly) leaves another message for JA on Myspace:
I wonder how much you raise the hotness level of Yreka all by yourself, factoring in its per capita hot stats before you came, I am sure it raised expotentially.
Who's the lucky boy (about photo of JA sitting on TA’s lap
5/2 Suspicious text, allegedly written by Travis, found on JA’s Helio phone, detailing (her) porn fantasy.
5/2 TA journal: Busy week coming to an end. A lot to do today. Life is good. The future is bright.
5/9 TA journal: Not much accomplished except for my website (blog). We have grown by leaps and bounds which I am excited about. Date with Mimi tomorrow. Hope it goes better.
Last edited by Hope4More; 02-21-2015 at 12:42 AM.I stand with those taking a stand in Standing Rock.
02-21-2015, 12:02 AM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
02-21-2015, 12:03 AM #10I stand with those taking a stand in Standing Rock.
02-21-2015, 12:14 AM #11
As for the beginning of the text sounding like a blackmail threat....that's one possibility. I'm posting a chronological framework hoping to hear speculations about what might have happened to cause the May 26 fight and why the fight may have made her conclude she had to murder Travis.I stand with those taking a stand in Standing Rock.
02-21-2015, 12:21 AM #12
The May 26 text is a real exchange. And the texts in which Travis is angry with JA are real. The rest? I think she had lost it by the end of 2007 (tire slashing, stalking), tried to no avail to win Travis over with sex from January through the end of February, and by early March was pretty recklessly invading and messing with his social online accounts. IMO, any complimentary online communication by Travis to her after mid-March is pretty suspect.I stand with those taking a stand in Standing Rock.
02-21-2015, 12:40 AM #13Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
the text that jumped out to me was on 4.18 Travis text jodi that he had taken time to take care of crap for her on that day....."Ihave let you have a car, money, and a whole hell of a lot time." I don't think I remember ever hearing that....why can't Juan show how nice Travis had been to her.........on 3.18 Travis wrote in his journal that he'd lost his journal, of his time with Lisa, and ipod and a diamond ring....
02-21-2015, 12:48 AM #14Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2015
Thanks for taking the time to create this. Reading it, I'm surprised to see that it seems as if they semi-made up at the end of the exchanges on May 26th.
02-21-2015, 12:53 AM #15Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
4/8 entry: She tricked him into signing a a painting, probably with an inscription, then left it for Mimi or someone to find? That what happened there?