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The Killing Season - Websleuths

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    SF Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    24,072

    Talking Here's a Woman Who Has Sex With a Tree

    By Tommy Gimler Mar 23, 2015
    According to "Closer" magazine, a 31-year-old woman wants to marry a tree she calls "Tim" because the sex she has with it is the best she has ever had. "He fulfills my emotional and sexual needs," McCabe said. "I orgasm by rubbing against the bark naked. I love the feeling of skin-on-bark contact, which gives me a more pleasurable pain sensation, and the feel of his leaves against my skin makes me tingle. I have sex with him every week--it's the best I've ever had!"
    http://www.mandatory.com/2015/03/23/...us::hilarious:
    This is the year to locate Mark Dribin http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ht=Mark+Dribin NamUs MP#876 and Ilene Misheloff http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...lene+Misheloff NamUs MP#6410 and bring them home to their families!

    Parents watch your children. Free-range parenting leads to more child victims.

    Cruelty to humans begins with cruelty to animals.

    I believe in closure, not forgiveness. I'm also unapologetically judgemental.

    JeSuisJuif
    JeSuisCharlie


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Under a bridge
    Posts
    9,201
    Splinters?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    19,250
    She's faithful, she doesn't bark up the wrong tree.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Under a bridge
    Posts
    9,201
    She will never leaf him.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    41,435
    Quote Originally Posted by bluesneakers View Post
    She will never leaf him.
    Unless she feels like branching out.
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    19,250
    Quote Originally Posted by bluesneakers View Post
    She will never leaf him.
    Touch wood...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Charleston, SC USA
    Posts
    3,378
    Looking in my yard studying my trees.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,766
    I'll go out on a limb and ask if a tree has sex in a forest, does anyone hear?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    6,766
    What a sap.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    19,250
    I used to pine for a tree but I couldn't stand the constant needling.


  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    State of Being
    Posts
    13,934

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    East coast
    Posts
    341
    I wonder if she's into treesomes.
    Support your local SAR organization! Most are all volunteer and struggling for funding!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    2,497
    I wonder how many saplings they will have.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Under a bridge
    Posts
    9,201
    Is he going to put a ring on it?

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Under a bridge
    Posts
    9,201
    I hope he doesn't leave her at the alder.

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