I recognise that I may be in a minority, possibly a minority of 1, but I am not seeing this through the same lenses as I see others here are. You see when I was a teenager I too lied to my parents about where I was going and about what I was doing, and I had underage sex.
Unless more evidence comes out which leads to other charges being brought against LH, I can only see him as doing what millions of people worldwide do also. In some countries it is legal and in others it is illegal, but as it currently stands, I am not seeing any reason to think there was intention to harm Kayleigh from LH.
Teenagers are very wilful and we can say that if she hadn't met LH she wouldn't have met SB and she would be safe today, but I'm not seeing the sick-inducing side of this. It is evident that he had discussed Kayleigh with his family, probably lied about her age, but I've not seen anything to say that she was forced to go, or was immature and naive enough to not know that they would probably have sex.
Perhaps I need a wake up call. If it was my 15 year old daughter say, (who is now 22) and obviously without the rape and murder, I would perhaps look at why she was needing this attention from an older man, rather than condemning her or him for sexual behaviour. The internet has played a role in this, but in my day I managed to carry off my own behaviour without internet or a mobile phone. She was a year away from the age of consent. I went to an all girls school, and my own experience was not uncommon. If Kayleigh wasn't going to come to harm with LH, then I see this as undesirable but not that unusual.
I think it right that he is charged and suitably punished, but I don't, with the current charges, see him particularly as a predator or a paedophile.
I'm not saying I can't understand other people's attitudes to this, but I would like to know if my moral boundaries are totally screwed and if they are that different from others.
I agree with you in the most part. I think it's the finding her through FB thing that freaks me out a bit, and it would seem less creepy if he'd just met her at a party or at a gig/club etc. He is also A LOT older than her, but true, he may at first have thought her older than 15, as we know most teenage girls can make themselves look way older with make up and clothing choices. Perhaps he DID meet her 'in real life' first and then found her on FB. Most 27 yr old men (in my limited experience) would shy away from a 15 yr old girl, no matter how made-up, as the risk is just too great of misunderstandings, drama, possible family recriminations, and yes, criminal charges!
I also lied to my parents about where I was going as a teen. I didn't have underage sex (not for the want of trying - unfortunately I was a plain Jane!) but I did take risks with my own safety many times which could have made me vulnerable to predators. When I was 14 I met a 24 yr old at a swimming pool who invited me (and my friend) back to his house to watch a film. We went, he sort of tried it on with me but gave up quite quickly when he saw my reluctance, we watched the film and then we left. Looking back, that was a really stupid thing to do, and thank goodness my friend came with me or he might have not taken no for an answer. I assume that KH agreed for the same reason I did - I got little attention from males at school or locally, and was flattered that a *man* had taken an interest.
I used to run home at midnight on my own from babysitting, rather than ask the dad for a lift home (he was usually drunk so I think I was safer running!). Went to dodgy pubs in the red light district, chatted to homeless men there, went to parties where I knew very few people and relied on one person to get me home. And no mobile phone to summon help if needed.
We all take risks as teenagers and unfortunately it will be very difficult for KH's family to realise that she possibly made a bad decision last weekend. Please don't think I'm victim-blaming here -she obviously didn't deserve to be raped and murdered, but presumably if SB didn't exist it may have been just a silly weekend with an older man that she'd have looked back on and cringed 20 yrs later. Caveat: as the charges currently stand against LH - these may change of course.
Anyway, after that essay, Tortoise - you are not alone! Paedophiles, in my opinion, are not just people who find under-16s attractive. You can't tell who's 15 or 14 or 16 when they are dressed up to the nines and trying to impress. Paedophiles - in MY opinion - are people who find children, who LOOK like children, attractive sexually. They wouldn't want a girl who looked 19 or 23, as that is not a child. If LH did find out that Kayleigh was 15 then he should've walked away, no question.
All MOO, *obviously*
