GUILTY NY - Tara Tomlin charged in death of newborn, Livingston, 27 Nov 2015

To the Mother that brought her newborn to a Church, a Safe Haven, that was a brave, wonderful and difficult thing you did. Bless you for not abandoning or hurting your baby! To those that may think you took the easy way out, you did not. It was terribly difficult and brave of you to bring that baby somewhere safe. Peace be with you.

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The "arrest in connection with" case is about 10 miles from my house -- a place I've frequented.

Is it wrong to feel empathy with that mother?
 
It sounds like there might be some mental health issues involved. She just went back to work bloody?
 
The "arrest in connection with" case is about 10 miles from my house -- a place I've frequented.

Is it wrong to feel empathy with that mother?
I feel empathy for her. It sounds like she has some mental issues.

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I feel terribly sad for the gas station employee. It sounds like she had a mental break of sorts. Sometimes when young girls/women give birth alone, especially if they've been hiding the pregnancy, they desperately try to pretend like nothing happened, like everything's "normal", like they were never even pregnant. That's exactly what TT did, she just went back to work. Clearly she was in a distorted frame of mind since she was helping customers while covered in blood. Sad for both mother and child.
 
The baby in the manger story is really touching. I'm glad the mother chose a safe place to leave her child, as she must have felt she couldn't provide one herself. Though I'm sad for her, since she apparently delivered the baby without medical care, and possibly alone.

The "arrest in connection with" case is about 10 miles from my house -- a place I've frequented.

Is it wrong to feel empathy with that mother?

I don't think so. She sounds like she may not have fully comprehended what was happening, and sadly, with treatment, she might comprehend it later on. And that might be devastating for her. I have empathy for that.
 
Have we lost our minds here?

Like a vast majority of states, New York has so-called safe haven laws to allow parents to anonymously leave unwanted infants, without fear of prosecution, at sites like hospitals or firehouses. Officials said that churches are included in the places covered by the law, but the parent must alert someone to the child’s presence, or leave the child in the care of someone at the location. Neither happened in this case, the police said.


Or are we just overwhelmed by the sentimentality of the season? The mother of the child who lived could have left her baby at a hospital or fire station--no questions asked--under NY's safe haven law. Or she could have waited until somebody returned to the creche so that she was sure her infant would be promptly discovered.

Instead, she took the chance that her baby would suffer no complications and would be discovered before it suffered the consequences of exposure in the creche. What if the caretaker had decided he didn't have time to do more work on the manger scene that day?

Yes, I have empathy in both cases and I'm glad that things worked out well for one of the babies; but we shouldn't blind ourselves to the potential risks of abandoning a baby in a manger scene.

As a symbolic gesture, leaving a baby in a creche may be appealing. In practical terms, not very wise.
 
Have we lost our minds here?



Or are we just overwhelmed by the sentimentality of the season? The mother of the child who lived could have left her baby at a hospital or fire station--no questions asked--under NY's safe haven law. Or she could have waited until somebody returned to the creche so that she was sure her infant would be promptly discovered.

Instead, she took the chance that her baby would suffer no complications and would be discovered before it suffered the consequences of exposure in the creche. What if the caretaker had decided he didn't have time to do more work on the manger scene that day?

Yes, I have empathy in both cases and I'm glad that things worked out well for one of the babies; but we shouldn't blind ourselves to the potential risks of abandoning a baby in a manger scene.

As a symbolic gesture, leaving a baby in a creche may be appealing. In practical terms, not very wise.

I think the problem with safe haven laws is that people in that state of mind can't often logic things out very well. The place the baby was left suggests that emotions were running much higher than logic circuits...and sadly I think that contributes to the cases where the newborn is found deceased.

I think this is (usually) very different from battering a several-month-old child, or older, to death.
 
I wonder if most young people today are even aware of safe haven laws.
 
The "arrest in connection with" case is about 10 miles from my house -- a place I've frequented.

Is it wrong to feel empathy with that mother?
Feeling empathy is never wrong IMO
We need more of it in this world.
 
I feel for both women. I hope the woman who left her baby in the manger has someone who can help her if there are medical complications, and is able to get counseling to determine if this is what she really wanted to do. Any woman who is in a place where she is so desperate she abandons her baby is not in a healthy enough place to make long term decisions, IMO. Hoping for her to have safety and peace.

Hoping that the other woman gets the help she needs.
 
Have we lost our minds here?

Or are we just overwhelmed by the sentimentality of the season? The mother of the child who lived could have left her baby at a hospital or fire station--no questions asked--under NY's safe haven law. Or she could have waited until somebody returned to the creche so that she was sure her infant would be promptly discovered.

Imagine being a new priest, and told: there's a live baby in your manger.

Yeah imagine being being a new priest and told "There's a dead baby in your manger".

That would have been a big Christmas downer.
 
I think the problem with safe haven laws is that people in that state of mind can't often logic things out very well. The place the baby was left suggests that emotions were running much higher than logic circuits...and sadly I think that contributes to the cases where the newborn is found deceased.

I think this is (usually) very different from battering a several-month-old child, or older, to death.

I never see a safe haven ad on television anymore, and have never viewed one on the channels that teens and young adults watch. There needs to be more info disseminated and within all media (including twitter, facebook, etc). IMO, panicked teens and young adults do not have the info necessary to keep infants safe.
 
Have we lost our minds here?



Or are we just overwhelmed by the sentimentality of the season? The mother of the child who lived could have left her baby at a hospital or fire station--no questions asked--under NY's safe haven law. Or she could have waited until somebody returned to the creche so that she was sure her infant would be promptly discovered.

Instead, she took the chance that her baby would suffer no complications and would be discovered before it suffered the consequences of exposure in the creche. What if the caretaker had decided he didn't have time to do more work on the manger scene that day?

Yes, I have empathy in both cases and I'm glad that things worked out well for one of the babies; but we shouldn't blind ourselves to the potential risks of abandoning a baby in a manger scene.

As a symbolic gesture, leaving a baby in a creche may be appealing. In practical terms, not very wise.

We don't know that the mother wasn't there observing, or coming by every half hour to see that the baby was taken. I think it's brilliant, leaving a baby in a public manger scene.

The problem with the "Baby Moses" laws is almost no one can do them correctly. Almost no mothers, trying to follow the law, are given the benefit of the law. There was even one case fairly local where a mom walked into an emergency room, placed the baby on the front desk, and walked out. They were searching for her because "she didn't identify herself or say she was leaving the baby". There was another mother who left her baby on the front steps of a fire station on a very pleasant morning, in the early rush hour. There were thoughts "fire ants could have gotten the baby", and the police were looking for her. Do we want the Baby Moses law to work? If so, we need to welcome these mothers who leave their babies in safety. This one certainly was, and I bet the mother wrapped the baby carefully and made sure all went well. There is an ironic, clever intelligence to leaving a newborn in a creche at Christmas.
 

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