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  1. #1
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    TX - Bullying resulted in Alamo Heights sophomore's suicide, family says

    San Antonio Express-News:

    Student was a victim of bullying before committing suicide, family says

    ---
    According to an SAPD report obtained by mySA.com, David Molak was found dead in his backyard Monday. The Bexar County Medical Examiner's Office ruled the death a suicide.
    ---
    Another statement given to police at the time indicated he was being bullied on social media over his physical appearance, the report said.
    ---
    the rest, with pictures, at link above

  2. #2
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    I'm very confused by this story. It sounds like the bullying basically was one kid with mental health issues? I've read several articles and statements by the family.

    And it sounds like he tried to commit suicide twice before. The bullying, according to the brother, centered on David's appearance, which is bizarre because he's model-gorgeous. And he was dating the 'queen bee' of the school, so the most popular girl.

    Is this bullying or males jockeying for top position?

    What a truly sad case. When I think of bullying, I think of an odd-duck child who has no friends and everyone kind of kicks sand at them. I don't sense - at all - that was the dynamic in this case.

  3. #3
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    Pain is relative. A model-gorgeous boy would never know the pain an odd-duck feels but does that lessen the pain he himself feels at being ridiculed for his looks (even or especially if those bullying him are doing to with the sole intention of knocking him down a peg or two for their own gain)?

    If he's self conscious about something, say, his nose or his teeth or something, and those who are vying for his position in the pecking order zero in on that, I would imagine it hurts. The bullying that happens in the upper echelons of high school hierarchy is different than in the lower echelons. The "beautiful people" have very subtle and cruel ways of asserting their dominance over each other, and when it comes down to it, that's what bullying is: asserting dominance over someone else. Popular, pretty kids do it with covert, sly, underhanded comments and "jokes", while the odd-ducks experience overt hostility. It's a more obvious enemy when you're the odd-duck. For the popular kids, it's your friends.

    Combine that with mental health problems and it's a perfect storm. I don't think bullying matters less just because the recipient is a popular boy dating the perfect girl. JMO
    I speak fluently in reaction gifs.


  4. #4
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    I'm just thinking in big terms, Tawny because I don't know this boy's individual circumstances.

    Recently I've read several nonfiction "coming of age" books - "Angela's Ashes", "A Painted House", "Gratitude for Shoes", "The Boys in the Boat", among others and am amazed at the endurance and fortitude that was expected of children in past generations. They were pushed to the point of injury and sometimes even death, but suicide among teens was so much rarer in past generations. I think that's what the premise of "Outward Bound" type programs is - push kids to the limits of their physical endurance toward a goal, and it will give them the energy and positivity and vigor to succeed at future endeavors. It blows the cobwebs out of the mind.

    There are so many kids who never have to endure to reach a goal. They've never been alone, never biked more than a block and that was with a helmet on, never had to do any kind of real work except maybe a Saturday afternoon leaf raking session.

    And I think in doing this to our kids, we've protected them from physical harm but have left them prey to depression, suicide, hopelessness, and anxiety.

    So sad about David. I think if you never have to fight to stay alive, maybe life isn't all that valuable to you.

  5. #5
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    To paraphrase Fitzgerald:

    Let me tell you about the '09ers. They are different from you and me.
    (San Antonians will understand.)

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rich_Boy

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by JeannaT View Post
    I'm just thinking in big terms, Tawny because I don't know this boy's individual circumstances.

    Recently I've read several nonfiction "coming of age" books - "Angela's Ashes", "A Painted House", "Gratitude for Shoes", "The Boys in the Boat", among others and am amazed at the endurance and fortitude that was expected of children in past generations. They were pushed to the point of injury and sometimes even death, but suicide among teens was so much rarer in past generations. I think that's what the premise of "Outward Bound" type programs is - push kids to the limits of their physical endurance toward a goal, and it will give them the energy and positivity and vigor to succeed at future endeavors. It blows the cobwebs out of the mind.

    There are so many kids who never have to endure to reach a goal. They've never been alone, never biked more than a block and that was with a helmet on, never had to do any kind of real work except maybe a Saturday afternoon leaf raking session.

    And I think in doing this to our kids, we've protected them from physical harm but have left them prey to depression, suicide, hopelessness, and anxiety.

    So sad about David. I think if you never have to fight to stay alive, maybe life isn't all that valuable to you.
    I agree that kids don't seem to have coping mechanisms anymore for the simplest perceived slights.
    I speak fluently in reaction gifs.


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawny View Post
    I agree that kids don't seem to have coping mechanisms anymore for the simplest perceived slights.
    I think the big difference is that your home was a refuge years ago. SM bullying is insidious. IT reaches you wherever you are. There is no boundary. Also, things gets passed around and around so much that you can't get a new start because everyone is so connected.

    This is so sad to me. He may have had image and other issues but he also could not get away from the bully.

    Wearing neon clothing to school is definitely a defiant statement by the bully, if that happened. If his death doesn't cause this person to reflect, it shows how dug in his is in his ways. Scary to think about.

  8. #8
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    SA Express-News:

    Fellow students threatened violence, insulted David Molak online before his suicide Screenshots from private social media that provide a look into the prolonged cyberbullying an
    Alamo Heights family says led 16-year-old David Molak to commit suicide early Monday morning.

    SAPD investigating harassment claims in David Molak's suicide in Alamo Heights
    Last edited by wfgodot; 01-08-2016 at 06:29 PM.

  9. #9
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    Well frankly I have no idea what any of those posts are about. Square up? Henny? What?

    Guess I'm old.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by JeannaT View Post
    Well frankly I have no idea what any of those posts are about. Square up? Henny? What?

    Guess I'm old.
    Square up means to fight. They were calling him a monkey and telling the other kid to put him 6 feet under. Henny appears to be a nickname.
    I speak fluently in reaction gifs.



  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaen View Post
    I think the big difference is that your home was a refuge years ago. SM bullying is insidious. IT reaches you wherever you are. There is no boundary. Also, things gets passed around and around so much that you can't get a new start because everyone is so connected.

    This is so sad to me. He may have had image and other issues but he also could not get away from the bully.

    Wearing neon clothing to school is definitely a defiant statement by the bully, if that happened. If his death doesn't cause this person to reflect, it shows how dug in his is in his ways. Scary to think about.
    SM bullying is only insidious if you log into it. I think that's what this generation doesn't understand. You don't have to check in. You don't. They think you do, you don't, though. I have 3 young adult sons, and I realize this generation thinks they HAVE to log in, but they don't. All 3 of my sons were bullied to some extent, as ALL kids are tested, and if you aren't depressed to begin with, you can weather it. It appears to me that this boy was popular, had the most popular girlfriend, and some of the guys were jealous and threatening him. His girlfriend was actively sticking up for him in social media. He had other friends who were also sticking up for him.

    This boy tried to commit suicide twice before. It seems in general, he was a depressed teen despite the appearance of accomplishment and happiness.

    I don't know about everyone else here, but I was bullied horribly in 7th grade when I moved from the north to the south. I made friends with a group of girls who turned on me. For 6 months I had no friends and they would bump me in the hallway and call me awful names. I never once pondered suicide. I was very surprised, on the other hand, when the ringleader asked me to be her freshman college roommate. Imagine her surprise when on the freshman form I wrote "decline ____ as a roommate" and she was stuck with pot luck by the housing office for a roommate choice. REALLY? Did she really think I'd want to room with her?

    I'm not saying this to disparrage him, AT ALL. I'm saying this in the spirit of wondering what we can do to help our current generation of kids weather these storms.

  12. #12
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    Henny is another way of saying honey.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goose22 View Post
    Henny is another way of saying honey.
    And according to the Urban Dictionary, it's slang for Hennessey (a liquor).

  14. #14
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