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  1. #46
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    Aug 2014
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    I keep thinking of http://thejaycfoundation.org/about-us/ which was created by Jaycee Duggard.

    Do they reach out to people such as KB, or does KB have to reach out to them for help?


    "ficult transition in our lives. We needed protection, expertise, support, and the ability to make choices as we started our healing journey. I believe that families who survive major life traumas need and deserve the kind of support we received. Because of this belief my family has formed The JAYC Foundation."

  2. #47
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    Sep 2016
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    Texas
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wish I Knew View Post
    As the victim of a horrible robbery, rape, and false imprisonment that happened in my own home between the hours of 1 am to 4am, I cannot fathom what this poor woman has been through.

    But, let me assure you, it took years of expert counseling before I could wrap my head around what had happened to me. For weeks.....months.....it was all I could do to just get dressed every day! And I had not had the added horror of witnessing the murder of my boyfriend. In no way would I have been prepared to formulate a condolences!

    It is difficult to convey to people who have never experienced such a violent crime. It nearly takes the breath out of your life....
    Yes ma'ma. I'm sure it was hard hun. I wasn't meaning I thought bad of her. I was trying to explain what I thought might be going on. I don't write very well or explain very well. I'm glad you are doing much better.

  3. #48
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    Nov 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wish I Knew View Post
    As the victim of a horrible robbery, rape, and false imprisonment that happened in my own home between the hours of 1 am to 4am, I cannot fathom what this poor woman has been through.

    But, let me assure you, it took years of expert counseling before I could wrap my head around what had happened to me. For weeks.....months.....it was all I could do to just get dressed every day! And I had not had the added horror of witnessing the murder of my boyfriend. In no way would I have been prepared to formulate a condolences!

    It is difficult to convey to people who have never experienced such a violent crime. It nearly takes the breath out of your life....
    .
    So sorry to hear this Wish I Knew...
    Prayers to you for a full recovery.

  4. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by Bently View Post
    I keep thinking of http://thejaycfoundation.org/about-us/ which was created by Jaycee Duggard.

    Do they reach out to people such as KB, or does KB have to reach out to them for help?


    "ficult transition in our lives. We needed protection, expertise, support, and the ability to make choices as we started our healing journey. I believe that families who survive major life traumas need and deserve the kind of support we received. Because of this belief my family has formed The JAYC Foundation."
    Others in her situation are reaching out to KB offering support.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  5. #50
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    Oct 2016
    Posts
    108
    As NN was next of kin I would expect to see her listed. I've never seen an obituary posted with a wife and girlfriend (or special friend who people knew was a girlfriend listed). It likely was a delicate situation.

    CDC's family posted that KB did not attend his funeral.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gardener1850 View Post
    In addition to all the trauma she suffered, I imagine she doesn't want to talk to his family members who may have said bad things about her before all this came out. We don't know all of what was said behind the scenes but we do know the two families of KB and CDC had differences and separated their search fb pages into two at one point. The fact that KB was a woman who CDC was having an affair with while still married likely plays into this lack of communication as well. KB and CDC had just moved in together before their disappearance and his family may not have had much of chance to get to know her, nor she them. Notice she is not mentioned in his obituary but his wife IS mentioned as surviving him. They could have at least put KB's name as a "special friend". I don't blame her for not contacting them to offer condolences. She must have a lot of conflicting feelings right now. I wonder if she will even be able to attend her boyfriend's funeral today?

  6. #51
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    I've seen it once, with a co-worker. Her and her husband had been split up for a few years but hadn't filed for divorce, and were still very close friends. She was living with her boyfriend at the time of her passing. That's the only time I've seen it though.


    Quote Originally Posted by TarainVA View Post
    As NN was next of kin I would expect to see her listed. I've never seen an obituary posted with a wife and girlfriend (or special friend who people knew was a girlfriend listed). It likely was a delicate situation.

    CDC's family posted that KB did not attend his funeral.

  7. #52
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    May 2015
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    The humid hell that is Florida
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    BigCity & Jammin, thanks for the kind words.

    Jammin, no offense taken at all......just wanted to share that she probably is nowhere near being able to think of anything except getting up and reclaiming her life. It is a long, long road back. And it changes you forever.

    Life is good, and always worth the struggle.

  8. #53
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    Aug 2014
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddleboarder View Post
    Others in her situation are reaching out to KB offering support.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    It is heartening to hear that, thank you. Ever since I learned of this I kept thinking that people who were in her situation previously would be best to help guide her.

    And of course the one that came to mind was Jaycee's Foundation.

    So glad to hear that others have reached out to KB as victims may not be *able* to reach out to them.

  9. #54
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    Dec 2011
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    Northern Virginia
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    I wonder if CDC's family has reached out to her? It goes both ways, really. As traumatized as she surely is, I would not expect her to be functional any time soon.

    Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk

  10. #55
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    Oct 2014
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    899
    Quote Originally Posted by Wish I Knew View Post
    As the victim of a horrible robbery, rape, and false imprisonment that happened in my own home between the hours of 1 am to 4am, I cannot fathom what this poor woman has been through.

    But, let me assure you, it took years of expert counseling before I could wrap my head around what had happened to me. For weeks.....months.....it was all I could do to just get dressed every day! And I had not had the added horror of witnessing the murder of my boyfriend. In no way would I have been prepared to formulate a condolences!

    It is difficult to convey to people who have never experienced such a violent crime. It nearly takes the breath out of your life....
    Slightly off topic, but I had a college roommate who was raped on a neighboring campus the year before we lived together. She described the aftermath as not being able to make decisions about anything, not trusting herself to make decisions. She was raped by a stranger after class at a neighboring campus. She said she couldn't decide whether to get out of bed, what to wear, what to eat. I can only imagine this was much worse for KB, who knew this horrible man.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


  11. #56
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    Oct 2016
    Posts
    152
    Yes I think people fail to understand that trauma physically alters your brain and in turn your personality. If you have PTSD your brain will never ever be the same as before you had PTSD.

    I have also suffered several traumas, not on this level, but still comparable to what KB has gone through. It's like your brain is covered in a thick fog that's hard to look past. And half the time, when you think you can finally see clearly in front of you, instead you're looking in to the past. Your mind is either full of nothing or full of everything all at once. It's difficult to function like that. It's difficult to think and process what's happening around you, whether you're in a room full of people or simply trying to get dressed in the morning. Things get confusing. I only wish I could explain that to the people who are frustrated with KB.

    Fingers crossed people will not look at her differently for not attending CDC's funeral.

  12. #57
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    Jun 2016
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    Quote Originally Posted by TarainVA View Post
    As NN was next of kin I would expect to see her listed. I've never seen an obituary posted with a wife and girlfriend (or special friend who people knew was a girlfriend listed). It likely was a delicate situation.

    CDC's family posted that KB did not attend his funeral.
    I know the relationships were complicated but in a lot of cases where husband and wife had separated the wife would not be mentioned. I do a lot of genealogy as a hobby and it is pretty common for a girlfriend to be mentioned as a "special friend" when the family wants to delicately dance around the truth of the relationship. I'm not making any judgement call on this, just stating it as a fact that it was an option and I have seen it done. This thread is for supporting KB which is why I said I cannot blame her for being upset about that and not reaching out to family with condolences. I also recognize that CDC's family members are victims. NN probably did have financial ramifications related to her husband's death because she was still legally married to him. I support CDC's family doing what they thought was best and I imagine they are all hurting a lot right now. Just to make it clear, I'm not taking sides. I feel for all involved and I hope they can come together and focus their energy against TK instead of each other.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

  13. #58
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    Mar 2016
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    161

    Fingers crossed people will not look at her differently for not attending CDC's funeral.
    She might not have been invited. If her name was left off the obit. To clarify a few things. KB and CS and NN were involved in a relationship together. Polyamory I think is the term for it. Sometime during that time the relationship changed to just KB and CS. KB was NOT the reason for the split. Classifying KB and CC as having an affair is misleading.
    Last edited by tlcya; 11-23-2016 at 09:21 PM. Reason: close quote

  14. #59
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    Mar 2016
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    161
    Quote Originally Posted by Wish I Knew View Post
    As the victim of a horrible robbery, rape, and false imprisonment that happened in my own home between the hours of 1 am to 4am, I cannot fathom what this poor woman has been through.

    But, let me assure you, it took years of expert counseling before I could wrap my head around what had happened to me. For weeks.....months.....it was all I could do to just get dressed every day! And I had not had the added horror of witnessing the murder of my boyfriend. In no way would I have been prepared to formulate a condolences!

    It is difficult to convey to people who have never experienced such a violent crime. It nearly takes the breath out of your life....

    I am so happy you are doing better, and so very sad that happened to you. PTSD for crime victims is a very real thing. My mother is the survivor of a horrible attack. Yes, she was never the same....

  15. #60
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    Oct 2009
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    36,101
    TK's crimes had so many victims, living and dead. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this is for KB or CDC's family. All of them have lost and suffered so much.

    Who is reaching out to who or should be or any of that has nothing to do with the perp and his crimes.
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