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  1. #121
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    656
    I wrote this in another thread but wanted to share in this thread as well.

    I seen on the news where a message was written on a pilot truckstop bathroom. In black ink it said t.s.k. find her body at mm 168 you guess the state and highway t.s.k<br />
    <br />
    This was written on the wall in a men's restroom and according to the reporter someone found it and told the manager and also contacted the news agency. The news agency showed a highway patrol who says they are taking this serious and investigating but are hoping it is just a hoax.

  2. #122
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    20
    Awesome questions Sherlocknows. I got into this business for love. I loved my heroin addict boyfriend. One day he was wretched sick and said Lets go to blah blah street and so began my career of one strange man a day to take care of him and I. Of course there is no way I could live in the shame without meth so I started doing meth.
    I am betraying my addiction on a daily basis now so why not. Meth made me morally loose just enough to do this pretend I love you sex. That is one of the things I call it. PRETEND I love you sex. Even though for the counterpart of this equation it is really I dont want to know you, I certainly dont love you, and. there will be no cuddling. For me its I dont want to know you, I can pretend I love you for the money, and if I never have to see you again and face my shame that is cool. The disconnected sex equation.
    Women are sexually repressed by design and society.
    Men think about sex every seven seconds.
    I lived thru this scary life for reasons that I am just being able to understand now. I can no longer do enough meth to kill the shame. Because it is killing my heart. I cannot quit because I will abandon my cause. Essentially I am willing to die to get my message out.
    Warning labels on pornography
    Responsibility to the man

  3. #123
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    20
    One more thing I think the media should be ashamed of themselves painting escorts to be the bad girls here until one of us ends up dead. Then its poor little sex worker. I know why these girls are getting killed I just figured it out and I am what you call one of the "smart lu

  4. #124
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    20
    So many reasons so little time to type them all it hurts my hand.
    Jmho why these women are getting killed. I might know a thing or two about a thing or two. Oh you know what else makes me believe I am right. The more you can make it not about the money the better they like it. Think about it. Its truly a sick game of trickery and deceit brought on by pornography manipulating a mans mind into believing that women approach sex like they do. That is why
    I say warning labels on pornography and responsibility to the man

  5. #125
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    20

    Of Meth and Men

    The year is 1995
    I am in a sleazy porn producers office. Pictures on the wall of the years best porn stars. The smell of last nights sex party still lingers in the air. He comes in in 70s suit attire slick back hair just balding. He takes a seat across from me.
    He says "get up take your clothes off, let's see what you got."
    I got up almost ran into the door. Trying to get out. He says "wait you have a smoking hot ass even in those jeans. If you have a tight pussy and your willing to be pummeled and sodomized by 10 inch cocks for a couple hours a day be here at 8:00 am tomorrow. He never mentioned the money. It was 1995 the height of porn, I am sure if he would of mentioned money things would of been a lot different for me. How could I be okay with this I could barely say the words in my head, how could I be okay with actually doing that? And talking about it like that I was raised better than that.
    I thought really where did it all go wrong for me? I thought back to childhood memories my mother telling me my step dad wasn't my real dad. Thought back to all 4 of my kids and their dads. Thought back to my first love Jeff Newman. The love so intense it makes me high just describing it right now.
    Then reality hit me here was my newest love,
    Enter Sean C. the fast talking Italian from New York with the thick accent. The epitome of bad boy. With no money and a big heroin habit.
    He needs me to succeed. He loves me not heroin.
    I can help him. If I only knew then the irony in becoming Captain Save a Ho. That's what he used to call me. In a teasing way. If only I could see that I was about to make the worst mistake of my life. But then I could only see love.
    " well what did he say? When do you start?" Said Sean, with hope in his eyes.
    I said "I don't. He said I am not what they are looking for right now."
    Sean said " what did he mean its not real acting its porn! You want me to talk to him.?"
    I said "no let's just go back to blah blah Blvd in my town and I will work the street everything will be fine as long as I only work in the day time."
    I knew I could never tell him the real reason for me not getting into porn. I could barely say the words in my head let alone outloud! That man (producer) scared the clothes back onto me!
    "Come on let's get on Greyhound and I will tell you the story of the last guy who asked me if he could @#$% me in the ass".. I said.
    Sean said." What did that m.f. (producer) ask to @#$% you in the ass.?"
    I said. "Not exactly. Never mind" I said urging him toward the bus station.
    Scene Two Reflecting
    The year was 1985...que to a scene where I am hitchhiking in my tiny town that has no ho stroll. Tiny little town
    A man in a non descriptive car pulls up. The first thing he says to me " I will give you some money if we go somewhere to have sex."
    I said in my head hmm I need money.
    I said. "Sure". I was 16. I knew what prostitution was but I don't think it clicked.
    So I took him up to Pilchuck Mountain. A place where we used to hang out when tripping on Acid. Kind of a make out point.
    So we are having sex doggystyle and he says
    " can I @#$% you in the ass?" I started to cry. I mean I really started to wail. "Never mind never mind" he said. "I didn't mean it."
    We start putting our clothes back on. And he was really trying hard to leave me on the mountain.
    I wasn't walking from there no way so I shut up . bam just like that. We head back down the mountain he handed me 50 bucks and went on his way. I learned a lot that day. Littlle did that man know I was crying cause I was cheating on my boyfriend not because of the anal sex. I had no idea what he was talking about. But the crying got me the money and saved my ass, and I didn't have to walk around smelling like another mans @#$ that day.


    Scene 3.
    Sean's head is in my lap. I am stroking his hair. He is looking up at me with such love and admiration. He says "I am not your pimp you know".
    I said. " I know, why do you say that?"
    Sean said. "Some guys were ****ing with him about being my pimp."
    I jumped up saying "baby I got to get ready its almost check out time"
    I go in the bathroom to get high cause there is no way I can do this sober. I come out in my subtle whoring outfit girly see thru shirt, jeans, and high heel boots.
    Snoop doggy dog's doggystyle album is still blowing up the charts and playing in the background. And I said, headed for the door
    "Just tell them I am like 7UP baby. I never had it and never will." I am almost thru the door when I say. " be ready to get out when I bring someone in". So began the vicious circle from which there is no escape of 1 strange man a day.

    I am trying to find a picture of me under 35. I would say that I looked like Selena Gomez without all the hair. Omg if I would have had hair like her. Oh and I like the song she sings about not wanting their hands all over her. I wonder how she knows this being so young.
    Anyways knock em dead kid. I stand corrected it was Meghan Trainor that sings that song

    Scene 4 my only competition
    I had no competition because the internet was in its infancy. No Red book or Back page and I didn't live in Nevada.
    The only competition I had to worry about was the occasional blonde who came thru with her pimp and they worked at night.
    I started getting regulars and a lot of them. I had my crank dealer, Sean's heroine dealer, the motel owners. I chose who, where and when.
    Money, drugs and men were good. I was starting to get high on the power of the pussy. I was praised by Sean for being his hero. I became infamous in my small ghetto. I tithed money to the bums in my community. I was reveered. I was validated. As long as I could live in a bubble where people praised me for being a slut I was OK. As long as I knew how to disconnect from the john's , I could reconnect with Sean later and be praised for it. My small ghetto. It was easier to be better than everyone else there.

    Scene 5
    In a motel on Watt ave taking a nap....
    The phone rings I said" hello"
    On the other end of the phone says "you have a call from Sean Circosta an inmate at Sac County Jail. The dreaded call.
    Now what I said after accepting the call by hitting 0.
    Sean said possession of a controlled substance and auto theft.
    I said " we just went thru this in Bakersfield I Had to pay 1000 for a lawyer and bail you out. I said you are going to have to sit this out I haven't the money to bail you."
    I knew he was already starting to get sick from the heroin withdrawals but there was nothing I wanted to do at that point. I knew it was only a matter of time until someone else sparked my interest and it would be over. I guess he didn't believe me when I told him last time he was out.
    And so it was. After he was sentenced and I paid for his treatment program, I met someone.
    Sean was to get out of jail, spend one night with me, then go to treatment. This part is hard. I was nowhere to be found the day he got out. He managed to track me down at my girlfriend Regina's but I told her to tell him I wasn't there. I was too enthralled by the new guy in my life, guess what his name was Shawn.
    The next morning I was still at Regina's with my new guy when I got a call from Sean's dad. "He said, did you know Sean was dead? I threw the phone. Those words still echo in my head. I still carry guilt with me over this. If I wouldn't of paid for treatment he would be in jail suffering the loss of me I know he overdosed on heroin because I did not love him anymore
    They say drug use blocks the ability to feel love. I say bull this man loved me. He put me high on a pedestal so high that I could almost see eternity. The dignity I had no idea I was giving away to 1 strange man a day, he gave back to me. He needed me and I failed him. And it hurts.
    I am so sorry my love. Hope to see you soon.


    After the guilt never wears off...

    I needed a change. Back to Bakersfield I went. The year is 1997. I am 29. At the apex of my youth and career. I am seeing a Mexican named Louie. Or should I say I was taking care of a man named Louie living at my friend/dealers Cathy's and she had a boyfriend named Chris. You know that Cathy was pretty smart in keeping her man. See she knew that Chris wanted me. Shoot what man with no prospects other than dealing drugs wouldn't. So she invites me into their bed in doing so she keeps her man happy. That's when I found out that I am strictly dickly. I let her do me but that's as far as I went. We were a happy family till I started getting too close to Louie. I start drifting away from them towards Louie another handsome devil. Do you know I don't even remember any of these peoples last name.
    Anyways the thing about Louie he had a perfect penis, circumcised 8 inches of perfection, he also had a shiny bald head that I liked. We were riding bikes over to Chris and Cathy when cops rode up on us, Louie had meth on him. This was back when meth was still a felony. So we went to jail in the back of the cop car together. Louie went for the meth and I had a misdemeanor prostitution warrant.
    Louie says "baby wait 4 me".
    I said " sure baby i will try. "As we both cried. I had no idea the lines were already starting to blur. I was having sex with no emotional connection during the day with 1 strange man. And I was trying to find the reconnection with Louie that i had with Sean. It was the reconnection that kept me sane. It was the reconnect that kept me from being a sociopath.
    We pulled into the jail. It was like we both knew we would never see each other again. One guard pulled him one way and one guard pulled me the other way.. I never looked back. I dont know if he did.

    It took me many years to figure out these very simple basics about love and sex and the seperation of. I write these terribly personal experiences in hopes to help someone understand the world of prostitution and how easy it was to get swept away in it.
    I write to tell you I got off on men wanting me. I got off on men wanting to pay me for sex. I can see this now. I could not see what makes it so wrong and so dangerous. If I could tell 28 year old me that 48 year old me cries everyday for the dignity and self respect that I gave 1 strange man everyday in the name of money for sex things would be different. I am sure they would of been different....

    "Stacey, bunk and junk and stop by the guard tower on your way out."
    I woke my cell mate to ask her what is bunk and junk?
    She said "you are going home silly"
    "I dont know why they want you to stop by the guard tower."
    I said "oic bunk and junk" see ya cellie
    As I walked out the dorm to the guard tower an officer approached me.
    He said " i am throwing a bachelor party for a fellow officer. And I want to hire you to be the entertainment. Heres my number call me before this date so we can "talk" about what I expect from you and how much its going to cost me."
    I said. "Ok" proud that he chose to exploit me.
    So I did. I made decent money that night about 1000 bucks nothing to be ashamed of especially in 1997. 1000 to be OK with being an object. 1000 to be OK with strange men putting their hands all over me. 1000 to suck a @#$% or two. Should be easy for an object.

    Back to Chris and Cathy I went. Back to play another role that I always seem to get right hand man to the dealer.
    So I was still on track with one strange man a day during the day I thought that day time rendezvous were safer and they were for the most part until.....
    Idk it was about 3 pm when a small red Toyota truck started circling me, he pulled up I jumped in. We drove out to the oilfields. He shut off the truck. I started to say something and a knife was to my throat, my hands went to it immediately, first instinct. The damn thing was super dull. I took a look at the dude finally and said "hey you don't have to be like this, I will do it but remember this I am a good person and karma is going to get you". And with that he had sex twice. He drops me off and throws me $8. I guess he felt bad. Whatever m.f.
    This dickhead had the coke bottle glasses little weasel. I call him a serial killer in the making. I often wonder what would of happened if I fought him For some reason I always knew who to tell, when to tell, how to tell and live thru it. Now what kind of crime could I have reported there? And since I did not report this am I saying that it was his right to have me? No way no how. But surely I would feel guilty if I found out that he continued with his rape and eventually graduated to murder. Maybe its best for me not to know.

    Let me ask you this: How does a 5'1" 105 lbs cute elf like girl with a propensity to tell a man to **** off make money with the very thing that makes men kill and live to tell about it? Statistical anomaly indeed.
    Lucky I wouldnt call it luck either. How can it be luck when I sit here night after night cussing at high risk lifestyle for not taking me out of the game! Knowing what I know and not being able to tell it because I am ashamed of it. Its actually the best long game of @#$% with your head I have ever been privy to.

    This is so people can see me as a person. We really need to work on humanizing the escort thru the media before she is dead.

  6. #126
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    20
    My story will always be true. I wont add drama.
    I fear that I wont be able to help in crime solving but I certainly can in crime prevention.

    Sent from my LGMS345 using Tapatalk

  7. #127
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    20
    Warning labels on pornography
    Responsibility to the man

    Sent from my LGMS345 using Tapatalk

  8. #128
    To all those hard working trucker's, stay safe. Specially to the female drivers....please be safe. Thanks to honesty, iris and daffodils, and new angles for their experiences and safety tips. Loved your interviews on the podcast.

  9. #129
    Man stacie.....quite the writer. Your way of story telling is engaging. Have u ever thought of writing a bio?

    Sent from my LGMS330 using Tapatalk

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